by Tricia Lynne
“That’s a shame.”
“Most women would disagree.”
“Not the premature ejaculation.” I giggled. “The control.” I had a shallow grasp on his need for control, but damn if I didn’t feel powerful when I could strain it tight.
He ignored the comment altogether. “You have a sensuality that you’re completely unaware of, and it makes you sexier because you don’t know it.” Declan moved his tongue up my neck in a long stroke before kissing my jaw.
“Porn,” I blurted out with a throaty chuckle before I threw back the rest of my drink. It was so easy to be myself with Declan. I didn’t have to try to be someone else and I felt lighter all over for it.
“Por—What?”
“I watch porn. The visual gets me there in no time. Very efficient when you work as much as I do.”
“Jesus.” He barked out a laugh. “You screwing with me?”
I grinned ear to ear. “Nope. I’ve been with five men, six now. I’ve had two one-night stands and the rest were relationship types, at least in my head.” Or until they met Kat.
“Huh.” Declan’s hands slid around my waist, pulled my hips back until his erection was trapped against my lower back and I couldn’t help pushing against it. “That actually made me harder and I didn’t think that was possible. And you should learn to take a compliment because there’s nothing fake about it. This is all you, Avery. It’s in the way you move, the heat in your eyes, the curve of your lips when you smile.”
His hands glided down my thighs. Reaching between my knees, he pulled my legs apart and lifted them over his own. I hissed at the bite of heat on my delicate folds like hot coffee on the tongue.
“The way your hips sway when you walk, or when your cheeks heat with temper. Your eyelids flutter when you come, did you know that?” Calloused palms covered my breasts. “Your sexuality is so natural. Easy and unforced. I think a bit reckless, too. I think there is a lot about yourself you don’t know, Avery Barrows.”
I was quickly becoming addicted to parts of Declan that had nothing to do with his body. “So teach me.”
His hips surged up, his cock slipped between the cleft of my ass and grazed over virgin skin. I gasped while he bit out a curse, followed by what might have been a prayer. Then he shifted his hips, and his hard length pushed forward up over my mound.
Gazing into the waning suds, I saw the thick head of him standing against my stomach. I snaked my hand down to take hold of him. Pushing up with my toes, I lined him up and eased down. Watching his body disappear into mine was easily the most erotic thing I’d ever seen.
Declan exhaled a long breath, his thighs tense and strained. His breathing thinned as he squeezed my ass with strong fingers. “Avery, you’re killing me.”
Slowly, I rose up to the tip, then slid down to the root. My skin slippery with suds, my nerve endings alive and pulsing, infusing my body with heat. Declan cursed, but I held my unhurried pace and he didn’t force the tempo. He seemed to sense what I needed and let me take my time, reveling in sensations. The stretch of delicate skin, the bruising grip anchored to my hips, and the steamy air scented with jasmine and sex. The strained breathing, the little moans. The sight of his dusky sac in the water while his cock disappeared inside of me.
My slow burn became more insistent, but still I kept my tempo slow. When I pulled up, my walls contracted, trying to hold on to him. With each slide down, my sex drew at him, sucking him in deep. His balls drew up tight and I leaned back against his chest, enjoying his ragged breaths and raspy growls, the contraction of his stomach against my back.
Declan snaked a hand over my hip, between my thighs where he brushed my clit. My muscles squeezed around him and the slow burn combusted. Like a match struck against pavement, the orgasm hissed through me.
“Jesus Christ, Avery.”
My name in that whiskey-worn timbre turned to liquid metal in my veins and my whole body jerked with each spasm around Declan’s shaft. No sound came out; my breath caught in my lungs, finally expelled in a ragged rush.
A deep rumble next to my ear as Declan pushed my shoulders away from his chest, driving him deeper. I groaned as he hit that wicked little spot over and over, as I watched his frenzied thrusts through waning suds.
“One more. I wanna feel it again. Know I’m the only one who’s felt you like this.” Declan’s breathing turned ragged; his voice a shredded mess.
Slipping a hand down my belly, I played my fingers along his shaft and heard his sharp inhale while I ground the heel of my palm against my swollen nub.
“Oh, Jesus.” My walls clenched, squeezed him as he pumped into me in quick, deep strokes.
When he pressed a finger against the tight pucker between my cheeks, I crashed over again. Intense spasms swallowed me, relentless in their purpose. Writhing in the sudsy water, I moaned long and low. My orgasm drew on, with no end in sight as he gripped and clawed, desperate to hold on to me.
“Avery…” He pulled clear of my body in one quick move.
Oh, shit! No condom.
“Oh, shite.”
Wait, was that Irish? His hips jacked up and I felt his cock jump against me, erupting over my butt and back as I rocked my ass against his length.
“Unbelievable,” he groaned through heavy breaths. The accent was clearly discernable and I smiled as I leaned back against him, sated.
“No condom,” I said, breathless.
“Yeah, I know. Jesus, you feel like warm, wet silk.” He laced his fingers with mine, kissed my temple. “I’ve been tested recently. All clean, and I don’t…do that. I don’t do raw. Ever. But when you slid down on me like that, I couldn’t fucking help it. I couldn’t stop. So hot and tight. Amazing.” He kissed my shoulder, his lips lingering.
“I’m on the pill. So, next time…” If there was a next time.
“Christ, there is a God.” His chest rumbled with a laugh that bounced my breasts and we fell into comfortable silence.
Finally, he whispered, “You’re gonna be my undoing, sweetness.”
I liked his nickname for me. Meeting his lips over my shoulder briefly, I palmed the back of his head and returned his whisper. “We’ll unravel together. “Great minds and all that.”
* * *
—
Sleep came easy wrapped in Declan’s arms, bearing dreams as damp and heavy as the New Orleans air.
I peered through thick swirls of smoke and mist. Velvet curtains drawn back with gold cords. The faint echo of rock ’n’ roll mixed with moans, pleas, whispered demands on the sultry night breeze conducting a symphony of warm, naked, shimmering bodies writhing around in multitudes of depravities.
I stood watching, lusting. Walking around the velvet rope, past the curtains, I slid my hand between my thighs trying to assuage the bittersweet ache.
My salvation was just out of reach. I followed him through the lust drunk masses; those haunting black wings towered overhead, arching gracefully from a powerful back.
He turned, nailing me with remarkable green eyes as two women with lithe bodies and sharply pointed ears swept him onto a gilded chair. A monkey leapt from the chair back to his shoulder, curling an unnaturally long tail around his neck.
With the flick of a finger, he commanded gravity and I ghosted through the crowd.
Naked, eyes riveted to his, he pulled my hand away, replacing it with his own. He circled, and I trembled. He stroked, and I quivered. Hands and lips snaked over my skin in mass exploration as I arched into his touch, reveling in the touches of others.
“Come for me,” he whispered.
“Yes.”
Wickedly, sexily, his lips quirked at one corner, but there was no light left in those cold, cruel eyes.
“No.” The grin turned sadistic.
Hands withdrew in mass, lips vanishing on cue as a wicked laugh prickled my
skin. Pulling a woman into his lap, he devoured her lips with his lush mouth.
Suddenly, I was cold, and when the curtain fell closed, the music died away. Because I was on the outside.
Again.
Chapter 13
I woke with a gasp heart hammering in my chest. A fog coated my brain, making it hard to separate conscious from unconscious, reality from dream. Sheets tangled around my legs, my breasts were exposed and cold—beaded to the point of pain. Pain that also settled deep in my belly. Sitting up, I rubbed the hair from my sweat-dampened forehead and blinked through the thick film blurring my eyes.
Declan lay still, an arm stretched across the sheet where I’d been. His face, relaxed, his chest a rhythmic rise and fall, that lush mouth, his scar—all so enticing, beckoning to me to lie back down.
A cruel laugh echoed in my ears and a hollow ache welled in my chest. Panic rose quickly, enigmatically, like a rope around my neck. I had to get out…can’t let this happen. Leave. Now.
I crept from bed, slipped into my dress. Gathered my things quickly and quietly. I snuck out with a last look over my shoulder.
The sheets had tangled around Declan’s waist. He was so magnificent, so good with my body. So bad for my heart.
The sun was beginning to light the sky as I padded barefoot through the courtyard. I’m sure I wasn’t the first or the last to make the walk of shame, but I had too much relief coursing through me to care who saw. I slipped into the safety of the elevator alone. My adrenaline spike started to slow as I put more distance between myself and the handsome man with skilled fingers and cruel laugh. In my room, I sank to the bed, boneless and weary. Closing my eyes, I rolled to the side, drawing my knees up.
This wasn’t how this was supposed to go. It was supposed to be fun. It was fun, when I fell asleep in his arms, listening to the sound of his heart. It was fun, right up until the dream.
The problem was that nothing about being with Declan felt fleeting or new. We were too easy together, too seamless, in and out of bed. There was a connection, a tie between us that felt timeworn and enduring, as though we were simply picking up where we left off in another life.
We both laid bare some of those dark smudges that taint the soul entirely too fast, yet still so familiar. Even now I could feel the whisper of his lips on my skin, the delicious ache of muscles overused. And that goddamned hollow pain in my chest.
Old souls, both of us. Kindred fucking spirits.
Fate, you bitch.
Act like some idiot groupie and that’s how you’ll get treated.
He would’ve hurt me. If I stayed. He was too familiar, too handsome. Too wicked to be gentle about letting me down. After last night, Declan wasn’t just a lay. I was developing feelings for him, and he would’ve broken my heart for it.
When I finally slept, thankfully, I didn’t dream.
* * *
—
It was late morning when I stepped out of the shower, wrapped myself in a thick towel, and ran a comb through my hair. I didn’t know when Kat got in, but she’d spent the night with Jamie. She’d texted while I was in the shower and her night with her Seelie Prince had been “different.” She needed a shower, or four, and would be over when she was done.
Plopping on the bed, I checked in at work. I fired off an email to a client who was livid after the job’s contractor tried to blame his mistake on my design. The restoration at the Dallas County Courthouse was going to shit. The contractor, who’d undersized the air-handling units against my specifications to save a few bucks, was pointing the finger at me for a humidity problem in the precious documents section. I’d sized those units properly, and if he’d used what I’d specified, we never would have had mold growing on irreplaceable documents. The asshole was trying to pass the buck. This one would involve a lawsuit, but I had nothing to hide.
I also had a young engineer who’d been railed by one of Parkland Hospital’s project managers for a screwup made in my absence. He was panicked, looking for me to bail him out, but I couldn’t. If I fixed his mistakes for him, he’d never learn to do it himself.
I was finishing my last email when Kat knocked.
“Why won’t you use the key I—” I whipped open the door and Declan stood on the other side and…He. Was. Pissed.
His scowl startled me; his eyes as dark and cold as they’d been in my dream. This was the beast he tried to keep leashed. His arms and shoulders tensed through the holes of a tattered cut-up T-shirt as he leaned against the jamb. Strong leg muscles peaked out below board shorts as he bounced an ancient-looking athletic sandal against the floor. Anger vibrated from him, which sent chills racing over my skin. He should have terrified me. Instead, I wanted to pull his mouth to mine and swallow his rage.
I’d told myself it wouldn’t matter that I left. I was only a piece of ass to him. It was me who wasn’t used to compartmentalizing emotions from sex. I sure as hell didn’t need to develop feelings for some bad boy rock god who was entirely too good with my body—a man got that good at sex only one way. So, I protected myself. Like any smart woman would.
Deluded much, Avery?
One angry look from under hooded eyes and I realized how much of my own bullshit I was trying to swallow. And it was easy to do. As long as he wasn’t staring me in the face.
“I wouldn’t have taken you for a chicken shit.” Declan’s voice came out nearly a whisper in an eerily calm rasp. “If you wanted to leave when you were done fucking me, you could have told me and gone. That I could have respected, but sneaking out while I slept?” He shook his head. “Yeah, I can’t get my head around that. By the way, you forgot these.” He held up my panties and a muscle ticked under his eye.
“Come inside, Declan. You’re not going to scold me in the hall while I’m in a towel.” He shut the door with a soft click and tossed my panties on the bed. Man, this wasn’t going to be pretty.
“You’ve got some balls sneaking out on me like that. Making me feel like some needy fucking chick. Maybe I misjudged the night we had.” Declan’s cool tone was slipping rapidly. “I can do the fuck and run, baby, but I didn’t think that’s what this was. I told you things,” he bit out. A hand swiped roughly over his head. “I don’t just blurt that shit out, Avery.”
Cruel eyes met mine. “Is that all you wanted? To get nailed by the band? Lord knows, you’re definitely a sweet little piece….I know Jamie is nailing your friend, Shaun’s married, but there’s always Matthias.”
I stared at him mouth agape. Then my fury took over. I squared my shoulders, met his angry eyes with my own.
“You can go fuck yourself.”
He blinked in rapid succession, as if he couldn’t believe I bit back. I don’t imagine he was used to it with that kind of temper. Well, he’d met his match in me.
“It was a punk move,” I hissed. “For fuck’s sake. I panicked, all right? I don’t know how these things are supposed to go. But I’d be damned before I looked into your eyes this morning, and saw regret or rejection—”
“What?” His voice was barely audible. “Regret and…” Declan ran a hand down his face. “How could you think—”
“No,” I snapped, cutting him off with his own favorite weapon. “I’m not through.”
Lips pressed together tight, he gave a small nod.
“Yeah, I bolted. And now I feel like a douche nozzle, but you don’t get to walk in here all Joe-bag-a-dicks and fucking insult me. Ever. Don’t talk to me like one of your band whores, Declan,” I gritted, poking him in the chest. “I am no whore, you asshole, and if you suggest it again, you’re gonna need medical help to dig your balls out of your abdomen. You clear?” I met his gaze with promise in mine. “And you definitely don’t get to shit on me for running, when you did the same fucking thing.”
He dropped his chin to his chest, but wasn’t quick enough to hide the trace of shame on his
face.
My own temper started to recede. “Look, obviously, your default setting is to try and hurt whoever makes you angry. Maybe you take things too far—I’m thinking you already know that—but my default is to slam walls up so I don’t get hurt in the first place.” Dammit. If he felt this connection as deeply as I did. And I ran, just like his mom.
God, we were both so fucked in the head.
“We haven’t spent much time together,” I said, less angry but more stunned by how fast this was spinning out of control. “Though, I think we must go way back. Maybe another life, hell if I know.” My laugh sounded psycho to my own ears. “You feel it, too?”
With a tight nod, he wiped his lip with his T-shirt.
“Whatever this is—some kind of cosmic bullshit, kindred spirits, Fate—I don’t fucking know.” I threw my hands up. “But when I woke up this morning, for all I knew this was a one-nighter, and I was the only one feeling it. You also made a point of warning me away, telling me you didn’t do relationships. So, no. I wasn’t going to open myself up to humiliation. You’ve already done that, Declan. You ran, and I was humiliated. And now you’re trying to punish me for the same damn reaction?”
He snapped his head up, eyes wide and bright. The scowl was gone, but his forehead was creased with…confusion? Worry maybe?
“I took it too far. I know you’re not a whore.” His heavy exhale sounded rough. “Last night, shit. It wasn’t typical for me, okay? Not the sex, or the way we’re so easy together. I like you very much, Avery. More than I fucking should.” His voice was laced with uncertainty; his face lined with wariness.
“I wanted you the moment I saw you. Then you lit into me and it only made me want you more. When I found you in the courtyard and got my hands on you, my reaction—I don’t know. The whole fucking thing was intense and it twisted me up. Touching you felt like trying to hold lightning in my palm. I knew it would burn me. Knew you would burn me.”
He took to rubbing his head, started to pace, then stopped. It was like he couldn’t decide what to do with his body. “I couldn’t figure out why things were so—why my reactions to you are so strong, so I walked. But I laid in that fucking bed and couldn’t leave it alone. Your taste. Your scent. The sounds you make. And those curves made for my hands.” He put his hands on my hips, and leaned his forehead against my shoulder. “I know what I said last night, but I’ve also never felt like this. It’s all-fucking-consuming and it scares the piss out of me, but I need to see it through if you’ll let me. I feel like we’ve been sucked into a tornado. Strong and dangerous. So goddamned destructive, but so short-lived. I just wanna try and hold on until it spits us out. Wherever that may be.”