by Sarah Tork
“Yeah, Annabelle.” I heard a chuckle from behind me. I turned around just as Charles walked into the living room and joined Mom and Katherine on the couch. “Why do you make things so difficult?” He repeated Mom’s argument with a sneer.
Nice to see you too, little brother, perfect timing as usual.
“Mind your business, Chuck,” I warned using the name he loved.
His head jerked up and he gave me a dirty look.
“Don’t call your brother that,” Mom rebuked. “Charles is not Chuck.”
“Then you tell him to mind his business and not to laugh at me like a rude little snot.”
“Annabelle! Apologize now!”
“No, he started it.”
“Don’t be a child, apologize now!” she ordered.
“How about…NO!”
Dad suddenly barged in. “What’s going on in here? I can hear everyone from upstairs!”
“Annabelle, will not weigh herself in front of me,” Mom explained with a sigh.
“Annabelle called me Chuck,” Charles added, like it actually bothered him what name I had used.
Bullshit!
Dad turned to me, shaking his head. “Jesus Annabelle, this is how you wake everyone up this morning, with that horrible attitude of yours…” He sounded more disappointed than anything.
My attitude?!
I was taken aback. He hadn’t even seen what happened and he was already taking everyone else’s side.
Traitor! I looked at him with disgust. I could feel the beginnings of my inner hurricane spilling out; I knew at any moment my face would start going red. They’d pushed me too far now; I was beyond control.
And I know exactly who’s to blame!
I ignored Dad and turn back to Mom, disgust written across my face.
“Are you happy?” I asked curtly, my voice low.
“What are you talking about?” She looked bewilderedly between Dad and I. Charles and Katherine’s smirks fell from their faces and they sat back quietly.
Smart, I thought as I narrowed my eyes at them accusatorily.
“Are you satisfied? Every single person in this family despises me, thanks to you!” I yelled.
Mom eyes widened. She looked like her head was going to explode from my accusations.
“That is outrageous, how dare you say that to me!” she yelled back, getting off the couch.
“It’s not outrageous!” I retorted. “How come I’m always attacked, huh? How come my little brother and little sister always treat me like shit?” I flung my hands towards the now quiet twosome.
“Annabelle,” Mom muttered, speechless.
I continued scowling at her, my back to still-silent Dad.
“You have an explanation why my baby sister looks at me like I’m a joke? Or do you know the reason why my little brother antagonizes me every chance he gets while you guys sit back and watch? I’ve never done anything to you guys to deserve this shit!” My voice was getting hoarse. I was on the cusp of a meltdown, right in front of my entire, disrespecting family. The room stayed silent, no one said a word.
Well, fuck you all! I thought, trying to distract myself from falling apart in front of them. I could feel my eyes welling up but I took a deep breath and blinked it back. I had to get out of this room before I really lost it.
I felt the frustrated tears officially announce their arrival and this time they were here to stay. I couldn’t pull them back; when they wanted to spill, they did so freely.
I ran from the room, the first tear spilling as I hit the bottom of the staircase. No one called me to come back. No one shouted that they were sorry.
And I didn’t expect anything less, not from them. They were all selfish fucks! I couldn’t wait for the moment when I could leave and never to have to see their disgusting, traitorous faces again.
When I reached my room, my face was wet with tears. I slammed the door shut with all my might, hoping I’d break it. I paced frantically, holding my arms together to stop them from shaking.
I should have taken that scale and thrown out the window! Smashed it to pieces! A new window would have hurt their pockets, for sure!
I shook my head and laughed deliriously at the thought.
Then I’d be sent to the loony bin. They’d like that, me under 24/7 surveillance, controlled and out of their hair.
I stopped pacing my room; I suddenly felt like I couldn’t breathe.
I had to get out this house. Now!
I quickly changed out of my pajamas and put on a pair of skinny jeans with a long black t-shirt that was a little tight. I grabbed a navy blue sweater-jacket off the ground and shoved it into my backpack along with my phone, keys, and wallet. I shouldered my backpack and headed to the bathroom where I applied deodorant and ran a comb through my hair, putting it up in a high ponytail. I washed the tearstains from my face, hoping it didn’t look too distraught. I glanced up at the mirror, Good! I approved of my reflection then stormed down the stairs, making as much noise as possible.
“Where do you think you are going?” Mom’s hoarse voice yelled from the living room. “We’re not finished here.”
I grabbed a pair of black slip-on converse sneakers. “Going out now, bye,” I called.
They all stared, dumbfounded, from the living room.
I opened the front door, shoes in hand, and fled, closing the door before they had a chance to demand something else or accuse me of being rude.
Yeah, I’ll be back later…much later…maybe never!
I sat down on the curb to put my shoes on. I’d probably looked like a fool leaving my house carrying my shoes, backpack bouncing around – like a runaway.
Believe me, I’m almost there. I could be a runaway… I am a runaway, or I will be sooner rather than later if they keep this harassment up.
I stood and headed down the sidewalk. I didn’t know where to go but anywhere, even just strolling up and down the sidewalk was better than being trapped in that hell house for another minute. It was peaceful and quiet outside. The birds’ chirping wasn’t going to give me a headache like those four back home would.
*****
By the time I’d reached the nearest park, I had calmed down a bit. I sat on the first bench I came to and plopped my backpack down beside me. I pulled out my phone and discovered I had three missed texts. I must not have heard my phone beep through all the shouting. I pushed the message button and saw that one of the messages was from Mom, sent just a few minutes ago. The other two messages were from – sigh – James. The first was from midnight last night. I instantly regretted turning my phone off last night to let it charge. A late night text session with James would have been something to stay up for. I checked his next message and was happily relieved that it had only been sent ten minutes ago.
Glee!
Should I do good messages, bad (Mom) message? Good…bad…good… good…?
I tapped on Mom’s message first, thinking it would be best to get rid of the bad first.
From: Mom
Your father and I realize you may need some time to cool off. We give you permission to spend some time outside and reflect. If you will not be back for lunch, please say so. And please eat something healthy and low calorie. Please be responsible with the independence we’ve generously allowed you to have. Love: mom and dad.
How do you give someone independence? I contemplated as I stared at the message. I read the message for a second time, feeling my mouth go dry and my body start to shake. I mentally gave them both the finger.
Bitch, I walked out on my own, no one could have stopped me.
I felt my face heat up. Her choice of words to describe the situation she had created was irritating the shit out of me.
I bent over and rested my elbows on my thighs, closing my eyes.
“Just breathe,” I murmured quietly.
Check the other messages. Happy messages!
I opened my eyes, sat back up, and checked James’ message from midnight.
F
rom: TIGER
Fireball, u awake?
That’s it?
It was still better than Mom’s message; anything was better than her message, even three little words from James.
What were you expecting from him? A speech about how amazing kissing you was?
I grinned widely.
Honestly? Yeah!
I laughed at my realization.
Get over yourself, I commanded myself as I checked his second message from ten minutes ago.
From: TIGER
Yo, what you doing later?
What? I reread the message. Is he sort of asking me out?
I texted him back:
Nothing
A few minutes passed and he still hadn’t texted back. I was beginning to feel anxious.
Maybe he’s just not around his phone right now?
Beep! Beep!
Yes!
From: TIGER
Really? How about right now?
From: Me
I’m chilling at the park near my house
Beep! Beep!
From: TIGER
Hang tight!
Hang tight? Is he coming to me? How? He doesn’t even know what park I’m in…
Honk! Honk!
I jumped off the bench, startled. My eyes frantically scanned the area for the perpetrator. That’s when I noticed a big, black SUV pull up to the curb in front of the park. Excitement buzzed through me when I realized who it might be.
James? I thought as I grabbed my backpack from the bench.
I walked hesitantly towards the car, unsure if it was actually him. The passenger window rolled down and I could see a male sitting behind the wheel wearing a baseball shirt, his eyes were covered with black Ray-Bans. He turned to the window and smiled big; I wondered if it was for me. I briefly glanced behind me; there was no one else here.
It’s for me!
“James?” I called.
Honk! Honk!
I smiled. It was definitely him. I approached the passenger door and bent into the open window.
“Hey,” I said softly, resting my elbows on the frame. The smile on his face evaporated and he looked away.
“Get in,” he ordered.
What’s his problem now?
I hesitated, not sure if I wanted to spend time with Douchebag James, I’d much rather Sweet James. I thought about all the other things I could do besides being chauffeured around by him. It was a short – empty – list. I shrugged off his attitude, wiped the smile off my own face, and got in the car. As soon as I’d shut the door, he turned the wheel and pressed the gas, speeding away from the park.
I turned in my seat and stared at him.
“Is everything okay?” I asked quietly as I put my seatbelt on.
We rode in silence for a few seconds, before he answered curtly, “Yeah, there’s something wrong.”
Asshole!
Keeping my thoughts to myself, I decided to continue speaking calmly with him. I was still riding too much of a high from our passionate kissing last night, despite the huge fight with my family this morning, to blow a fuse at his asshole-like manners. But if it continued much longer, then things would return to normal between us: Nice Annabelle would scram and Bitchy Annabelle would be back with a vengeance. She was waiting patiently in the corner of my brain; all he had to do was push me a little further and I’d call her out.
“Okay, what is it?” I asked calmly.
He took his eyes off the road and looked at me, shaking his head.
“Where’s my hello kiss?” he whined.
Jesus! He’s a little princess boy!
“Your hello kiss?” I repeated, a little bewildered by his demanding behavior.
“From now on, whenever you see me, you give me a kiss,” he ordered sternly, returning his eyes to the road.
I think I’ll do whatever the fuck I want.
I didn’t say that either; I was still riding that high and he’d earned extra points for looking cute in his baseball uniform.
“And if I don’t?” I challenged.
He glanced at me for a second before swinging the wheel around and pulling the car to the curb and slamming it into park. He unlocked his seatbelt and turned to me.
“Why’d you pull over?” I asked, unable to meet his gaze. Things had somehow just turned awkward.
He doesn’t say anything but continued to stare at me, his mouth on the verge of pouting.
“You know, you’re lucky –” I began.
“I’m lucky –” he interrupted.
“Yeah, you’re lucky you look cute in your baseball uniform or else I’d have served you something nice and cold much earlier.” I crossed my arms across my chest as I finished.
Did I just call him cute?
I knew I was turning red.
I mustered up every ounce of courage I had and looked at him. He was staring straight at the windshield, his expression hidden behind his Ray-Bans. He slowly turned back to me, his mouth forming a wide, shit-eating grin.
“So, you think I look good today,” James began with a chuckle, “well maybe if you’re good I’ll wear my uniform more.”
“Oh God,” I muttered under my breath, my eyes finding the floor.
“Oh come on, don’t be shy now, not with what we did last night.” He chuckled louder.
“Jesus, you really are full of yourself.”
“You’re damn right I am. I’m also considerate too, don’t you forget that.”
I looked up at him, shaking my head in astonishment. “How are you considerate?”
“Well, for one, I might consider wearing this uniform more often.”
“How is that considerate?” He was really starting to irritate me.
“Well, I have to do whatever I can to help you fantasize about me when I’m not around,” he responded, as if his answer was completely logical.
“You’re unbelievable.”
I reached down and grabbed my backpack off the floor.
“What do you think you’re doing?” James demanded, beginning to sound angry.
I reach for the door handle, but he power-locked the doors from his side.
“Open the door,” I demanded quietly. I had no energy left to fight; my family took it all this morning.
“No!”
“Don’t yell at me! Open the door, please.”
“No.” He put the car in drive and sped away from the curb.
“James, I don’t have the energy for this. Please, just let me out,” I pleaded with him, dropping my backpack back down to the floor.
“No,” he said again, continuing to stare straight ahead. “Why don’t you have energy? We’ve only just started arguing.”
“You wouldn’t understand.” I stared out the window, trying to figure out where he was taking me.
“Try me?”
“It’s nothing,” I replied, “my family was just giving me a hard time this morning.”
“That’s it? That’s why you’re in a shit mood?” He shook his head in disbelief.
“No, that’s not just it,” I snapped.
“I’m just noticing things… It doesn’t take much for you to get mad.”
“Well then how about this,” I began loudly, leaning towards him. “I wake up to my mother shouting her demands, then, when I refuse, my little sister and little brother join her in tag-teaming me about how lame I am! Oh, then my dad joins in and decides he needs to tell me I was the rude, inconsiderate one!”
I turned away, letting out a deep breath.
“Is that good enough for you?” I said to the window.
“I’m sorry,” he said softly, sweetly.
I felt the emotions I thought I’d left back at the house begin to surface; my eyes felt prickly.
I shook my head, not wanting to go there, blinking away the potential tears.
“Whatever, it’s no big deal,” I shrugged. “I just want to forget about it.”
“I can help you forget, if you want…” James said, staring
straight ahead.
“Oh yeah?” I asked skeptically. “How are you going to that?” I stared at his hands on the steering wheel.
“Just trust me.”
Trust him?
I stared out the window, watching everything swish by as we drove to God knows where.
Chapter 9
Warm skin caressed my neck as I lay on my side. I felt a strange buzz slide along my body from head to toe as his arms encircled my waist. He leaned into my neck even more, pressing his lips beneath my ear. His tongue slipped out and licked my skin as he continued to kiss, savoring every inch of that tender spot. My eyelids closed as my head leaned back, embracing the ecstasy of his touch, a touch that my body welcomed eagerly – desperately.
My God! A hum reverberated deep within me as I felt an amazing sensation crawl over every inch of my skin. Some parts more than others.
Jesus, what am I doing?
His kisses were creating a trail from my ear to the base of my neck. My eyes popped open and I tilted my head to the side to allow him easier access around my neck. Heat steamed between us as he shifted to allow me to move my arms around his waist.
Trust him?
I grinned, remembering what he’d said back in the car. If only I knew what he was thinking, would I have willingly gone along with him?
I ignored the question. It didn’t matter anymore, the decision was already made and my body, mind, and soul were experiencing the highlights of that decision. I needed this, the touch of someone who cared for me enough to want me to feel like this. Lately, the world hadn’t been interested in what makes me happy. Mom and Dad, Charles and Katherine were only interested in their own happiness, despite how it made me feel.
I remembered walking out this morning, finally having had enough of their selfishness, of their willingness to do whatever they wanted when it came to their bright ideas. It felt good – too good – to finally allow myself to embrace what being selfish was all about. Here I was, lying on James’ bed, in his room, all alone, while his parents were away with his half-brother and half-sister.
When he’d pulled into the driveway of his house and turned the car off, he’d informed me that his entire family was out doing their version of summer fun. Meaning they wouldn’t be back until nightfall.