by Ryan Mecum
but if it makes you happy…
I say stalk away.
If you like a girl,
follow her all around town
and try to smell her.
People who eat fast
and call it “wolfing down food,”
have no idea.
Raw hamburger meat
is my new favorite snack.
Great in cereal.
Coughing up hairballs
is more like vomiting hair.
Cats do it cuter.
Shape-shifter powers:
You mind working on my gut,
or is that too much?
Blue moon leftovers.
Months with two full moon cycles
make me feel pudgy.
Wearing 118 my wool coat,
I’m a wolf in sheep’s clothing -
and fashionable.
To ease suffering,
I try to recite poems
as my body breaks.
Allen Ginsberg’s “Howl”
was not the best poem choice.
Moloch! This hurts bad!
Ever get the urge
to chase, catch, shake and kill moles?
I get that now, too.
Bellybutton lint
used to just be my shirt fuzz,
and not as scabby.
As I fall asleep, I dream of fields filled with cats
and big steel-toed boots.
That’s me! I’m famous!
the murders are on the news,
dear haiku journal!
Dear haiku journal,
Love cowers in the corner,
trapped as I close in.
In Rose’s mailbox,
I left her a love letter.
Somehow this letter
made its way to the police,
who knocked on my door.
They searched my whole house
and asked about the scratched walls.
“I have dog problems.”
The cops brought me in
and asked a lot of questions
about me and Rose.
I kind of told lies.
“It wasn’t me who chased her…”
…but something in me.
“Tripping down my stairs
led to missing knee and eye.
It was a bad fall.”
“You know puppy love -
Rose just wants my attention.
This is how she flirts.”
They didn’t buy it,
but without hard evidence,
the cops let me go.
They would have had proof
if they took a stool sample
instead of just pee.
As I walked away,
a policeman said to me,
“Stay away from Rose.
“She knows what you are,
and I think I saw it too,
last night in the road.
“I shot at something
that looked a lot like a wolf
and a bit like you.
“I’ve seen the movies
so I made my own bullets
with melted silver.
“I’ll be at her house
all night while the moon is up,
looking for trouble.”
I grinned awkwardly
as he showed me his bullets
shining in his hand.
As I turned to leave,
I said to the policeman,
“Give my love to Rose.”
“I need to get home.
I have a big dinner planned.
Eating pig tonight.”
I left the station
and made it home just in time.
The moonrise is soon.
Tonight is the night
I will see my Rose again
and make her my pet.
To love a woman -
and force her to be like you -
is the quest of man.
Perhaps just one bite
and she will become like me:
a werewolf in love.
Under the moonlight,
we will both eat together
a slab of raw cop.
He will try to run,
and we will play with our food
by letting him hope.
We’ll both tackle him
into a patch of soft grass
and have a picnic.
She will suck a vein
and I will suck the same vein
and our lips will meet.
We’ll bite the wishbone
and pull from opposite ends,
him still screaming.
Once all of the bones
are licked clean from red to white,
we hunt for dessert.
We pant together,
slowly gaining momentum,
until we both howl.
Hearing in my head
us howling in harmony
makes my eye water.
We leap above fog
and catch a glimpse of the stars,
fading into dawn.
As the sun rises,
we transform back together
in each other’s arms.
We then quickly run
through backyards back to my place,
and sleep on my couch.
Tonight is the night
(unless I’m reading Rose wrong),
when my dreams come true.
When the moon is full,
open up your throat and howl
and all will feel right.
The werewolf is near.
My whole body is shaking,
or is that my nerves?
When I get back home,
I’ll tell you all that happened -
unless I get killed.
I will be right back.
Don’t you worry about me,
dear haiku journal.
About the Design
Werewolf Haiku is designed by
Lisa Kuhn, owner of Curio Press,
located in Cincinnati, Ohio.
Curio Press is devoted to high
quality book design and packaging.
For more information, visit: www.curiopress.com
Image Credits:
Cover background: Werewolf Image ©Curio Press/Ryan Mecum;
Rope ©iStockphoto.com/ RTimages; Torn paper ©iStockphoto.com/Andreas Unger
Interior Background ©iStockphoto.com/Maxim Filipchuk
pg. ii, Cover Envelope ©iStockphoto.com/Nic Taylor
pg. 5, 15,19, 23, 26, 31, 33, 38, 51, 53, 55, 58, 65, 69, 72, 80, 85,
87, 92, 95, 101, 103, 105, 116, 117 ©Curio Press/Ryan Mecum
pg. 41 Ambulance ©iStockphoto.com/Chris Bernard
pg. 75 Taxi ©iStockphoto.com/Hal Bergman
pg. 96 Girl eating steak ©iStockphoto.com/Valentin Casarsa
pg. 109 police car ©iStockphoto.com/Jason Henthorn
pg. Cover, 50, 78, 79, Stamps ©iStockphoto.com/Michelle Bennett
Illustrations ©Curio Press/Lisa Kuhn
About the Author
Ryan Mecum has loved werewolves since he was ten years old, when he snuck out of bed in the middle of the night and watched
Silver Bullet on cable. Werewolf Haiku is the third book of Ryan’s Horror Haiku series:
He also wrote Zombie Haiku and Vampire Haiku.
Ryan graduated from the University of Cincinnati with a degree in English Literature. He lives in Cincinnati, Ohio, with his wife and children. You can find more information about him at www.ryanmecum.com.
Reading these “haiku”
and loving me anyway:
This one’s for Missy.
***
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