I must have gasped, because Frost knelt in front of me, his expression fierce and angry. “Oh, good,” he said, no relief in his tone. “You’re awake. Now I can tell you how incredibly idiotic what you did was.”
“I know,” I said, because he was right. Because I’d risked my life to save Clove, but I’d also risked him and the entire mission.
“She was dying,” a familiar voice said. I twisted and realized I was sitting up, against a boulder and Bluebell was sitting next to me, her blue eyes glowing. “You saved her life.”
“Where is she?” I asked. “How did I get here?”
“I brought you,” Benny said, his tone snide. “I voted to leave you behind, but the little girl and that one said I had to bring you to Hieronymus.”
“Hieronymus?” I asked.
“He saved you,” Frost said, anger tinging his words. “If Benny had taken a moment longer getting you here, you’d be dead.”
“Where is Hieronymus?” I asked.
“He’s gone over the mountain with the others,” Clove said, kneeling next to Bluebell. “We stayed to make sure you woke up and to help you over the mountain.”
I pushed to my feet and only swayed a tiny bit. “I’m good,” I said. “I can do this.”
“You need to eat,” Frost said. He placed a couple of granola bars and some fruit on my lap. “Then we’ll go.”
I didn’t argue, because I doubted there was much time. The sasquatch had to be on his way back to us again. Benny couldn’t have taken him far. Frost and Benny walked over to the edge of the ledge to chat, probably about their plan to get me out of there, and I was left alone with Bluebell and Clove.
“My father was your mother’s brother,” Bluebell said in a low voice. “We are first cousins.”
I’d known she had royal blood, but I’d had no idea we were so closely related. “I’m glad to know you. I don’t have much family.”
Something like relief crossed her features. Maybe she’d expected me to accuse her of lying. “I’m considered by most not to be a true fairy,” she said. “I was born without the ability to shift. I was an embarrassment to the family, so my father kept me at a small house in the countryside. He didn’t bring me to court until the nightmares arrived. Even then it was only because he wished to marry me off.”
“He wanted to marry you off after the nightmares arrived? I’d think he’d want to keep you where you were safe.”
She snorted, the sound as delicate and soft as everything else about her. “He was too pleased to have a use for me. He wanted me to wed Ludwiggia’s eldest son and cement the alliance between the fairies and the nightmares.”
I’d always known I hadn’t won the mother lottery, but even my mother had tried to shield me from the nightmares, to protect me. She might have wanted me to host Ludwiggia and her people in the Non, but she’d never asked me to marry one of them. Maybe because she’d known I’d never agree to it, I realized with a pang. I’d never be sure, I’d never really know my mother, not now. “How’d you escape?”
She gestured to Clove, but Clove wasn’t paying attention to us. She stood and joined Frost and Benny, speaking to them in an animated tone with wild hand gestures. “Clove has been my protector and best friend since we were children. My father called her my servant, but she is the very best friend I’ve ever had. She helped me to escape the palace. She’d heard of the rebels and we found our way to them.”
“You’re lucky to have such a good and loyal friend.”
“Yes,” Bluebell said. The affection in her eyes when she looked over at Clove and the slight pink in her cheeks suggested she cared for Clove as much more than just a friend. “I’m very lucky.”
Clove glanced our way and Bluebell’s blush deepened. She gave Clove a little wave and smiled at me. “I’ve heard about you, you know.”
“All bad, I’m sure,” I said, no venom in my words. I was well aware of what my mother thought of me, and of how she likely spoke of me.
Bluebell smiled. “I guess I should say I’ve heard of your mother. It was a tale our parents told us to warn of the dangers of disobeying them, but her story always sounded so romantic to me. She was sent on a mission of espionage, but fell in love with the target and ran away with him to save her child. It seemed like the greatest love story.”
“Your parents told you they’d fallen in love?”
Bluebell’s cheeks pinked again. “I may have embellished the story in my imagination. Were they not in love?”
I remembered what Friya had seen from my father’s book and I smiled. “They were in love. Deeply in love. But it wasn’t perfect. They both had expectations and limitations. It’s not easy to open yourself to love when you’ve spent a lifetime being told that love is dangerous.”
Bluebell’s smile fell and she nodded. “Or when you’ve spent a lifetime feeling unwanted and unloved.”
“Yes. But if you trust in love, if you give it a chance, it can be wonderful. To not risk it, to not take that chance…You will regret it for the rest of your life. It can make you bitter and cruel.”
“Is that what happened to your mother?” Bluebell’s eyes went wide and she slapped a hand over her mouth. “I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay,” I said. “My mother was bitter and cruel and I think regret is part of what caused her to be that way, regret that she’d never loved or been loved the way she should have.”
Bluebell looked over at Clove and frowned. “It’s scarier than facing down a sasquatch.”
“Yes,” I said. “But so much more worth it.”
Bluebell swallowed hard. She blinked three times and turned to face me. “You’ve eaten all your food. How do you feel?”
I looked at my lap to see that she was right. “I feel good,” I said, stretching. “I feel really good. Is Hieronymus really okay? How bad is he?”
“He’s…” Bluebell sighed. “He’ll live. He claimed he only gave you a little bit of healing, just enough to keep you from dying, but…”
I shook my head. “He lied. I feel better than I did this morning. How long was he healing me?”
“Over an hour,” she said.
I sighed. He had to be in bad shape, but there was nothing I could do about it. “Hey, fellas,” I yelled at Frost and Benny. “I’m done eating and ready to climb a mountain.”
***
“No one said there’d be rock climbing,” I said, not bothering to keep the grump out of my voice. We had about three hundred yards to go before we reached the mountain peak, but those three hundred yards involved serious rock climbing and scaling to heights that had my knees shaking.
I knew we were near the top of a mountain, I understood that the ground was a long, long way below us, but I had rock under my feet. Not a lot of it, but I had something. And that little bit of flat land was the only thing helping me maintain my, very loosely held, sanity. I was holding it together. Barely. I wasn’t screaming, I was only trembling. I wasn’t in full-on body spasms of terror.
But if I tried to climb that rock face, I knew I’d lose my mind. I’d fall apart and we’d all die. All of us would come crashing down the side of the mountain and be crushed into tiny, gore-covered pieces. Ludwiggia would destroy Rubalia and then she’d move into the Non and destroy that. She’d destroy Ephemeral.
“Chloe, calm down,” Frost said. He rubbed my back, but it was too late, I was already freaking out.
“There are ropes all the way up,” Lensy said from the peak where she’d been watching and waiting for us. “You just have to hold on. It’s not like real rock climbing.”
“Can you still slip and fall to your untimely death?” I asked through gritted teeth.
“I suppose you could if you don’t hold on,” Lensy said, having the good sense to look nervous.
“If death is imminent or possible and we’re on the side of a mountain, literally climbing a giant rock, then it fucking counts as rock climbing.”
Lensy held up both hands. “Are you okay?”
> “I’m fine,” I said, trying to smile. “I’m great.”
“Because if you don’t want to do this, maybe one of the dragons could fly you over.”
“The air’s too thin,” Benny said, because of course Benny was right behind me and had heard every word of our conversation. “Dragons don’t fly this high. And it’s really windy. If Chloe’s afraid, she can climb with me. I’ll make sure she doesn’t fall.”
I spun and turned my glare on him. “I’m. Not. Afraid.” Yes, I lied. It didn’t do to show weakness, especially not to someone like Benny.
“Of course not,” he said, his typical smirk back in place, even though he still looked exhausted and haunted.
I swallowed hard and tried to appear confident and brave. I was confident and brave, damn it, and I could do this. I would do this. My only other options were staying on that mountaintop until I starved to death or running back to the portal and the Non like a scared little kid.
“You’ll be fine, Chloe,” Frost said. “I’ll go up first and you follow me. Just keep your eyes on me and pretend we’re not on the top of a mountain.”
My feet hurt and were covered with blisters that were probably bleeding by now, and I was somehow supposed to climb up the side of a mountain with nothing to hold onto but braided nylon? I studied the rope, remembering the fae didn’t manufacture nylon, and realized that the rope could be made of something far more fragile than nylon. It could be made of braided sasquatch hairs that only held the weight of ten people before it broke.
Clove and Bluebell started up, moving easily with the help of the ropes. “They really should go more slowly,” I said to no one in particular.
Before I was anywhere near ready, it was my turn to ascend the sheer rock wall. My vision went black for a moment and my heart was pounding so hard I might have thought I was having a heart attack if I hadn’t felt this way before, every time I had to place my body higher than any person should ever have a good reason to go.
I watched Frost grab the ropes and start up. I kept my eyes on him, but it didn’t help, not even a little bit.
He didn’t even look back to make sure I was okay, and I was most definitely not okay. I was frozen, unable to grab my own rope and start to climb.
“I know you’ve been dying to get me alone,” Benny said in a husky voice behind me. “But the side of a mountain might not be the best place for a tryst. Cold causes shrinkage, you know.”
And that visual got me moving past my own fear. I grabbed the rope and moved forward, because the other option, letting go and plunging to my death didn’t suit me. Once I was climbing, I realized that the rock wasn’t as smooth or as sheer as I’d at first thought. It was actually pretty easy to climb up, as long as I held onto the rope and pulled myself up. It wasn’t too bad, I told myself. As long as I pretended I wasn’t five million miles above sea level with nothing below me but air and death, I was fine. I was better than fine. I was amazing.
Benny made a strange sound behind me and I looked back. I looked back and I saw the mountain below me and the ground, the ground that was so, so far away. I froze. I knew, I just knew, this was how I was going to die. I was going to fall off the side of this mountain. I would fall so far there would be nothing left of me but a puddle. I’d fall and I’d fall and I’d know the entire time that I was dying, that this was the way my story ended. And Frost, Frost would never be able to go on without me. And our babies, or puppies, or whatever they’d be called, would never know their mother. Not that we had kids, yet, but some day we might have. And—
“Chloe.” Benny snapped his fingers in front of my face. Why was he so close to me? His whole body was wrapped tight around me, his hands gripping the rope just above my hands.
“What the hell are you doing?” I screamed at him. I may have spit on him, too, as the words flew from my mouth. I wasn’t in control. “Are you trying to get us killed?”
He smiled, the bastard, and tightened his arms around me. I hated hugs on a good day and this, when I was freaking out…And Benny…And what was that pressing against my backside?…And no. Just no. No. No. No.
“Get off me, you sick, horny dragon, or I will cut your balls off with a dull butter knife and serve them to you with ice cream.”
His smile dropped. “Are you trying to make me leave you here, frozen in fear on the side of a mountain? Or are you going to let me help you?”
Shit, now that I thought about it, I might not be in the best position for making threats. “If anyone asks,” I said. “I was cold and you were keeping me warm. I didn’t need help, but the wind is freezing and my wings are easily damaged.”
“Fine. Now, we’re going to move and I’m going to do most of the work. You just try to keep up.”
“That’s what she said.” I laughed, a wee bit hysterically, but Benny didn’t take the bait. He very gently helped me maneuver up the side of the mountain, which felt much less steep and terrifying with Benny at my back to break my fall if we should lose our grip.
Finally, we crested the peak, only to see we’d reached a bit of rock so narrow it might have been the peak of a roof. “Just kill me now,” I said.
“Hug me,” Benny said. “And I’ll carry you down.”
I didn’t argue. I didn’t even make a smart comment, because there was no way in hell I was rappelling what had to be ten miles down the side of a mountain. Rappelling was pretty much falling with ropes. So, I turned and I wrapped myself around Benny like a spider monkey and he rappelled us down the side of the mountain.
When we landed on solid ground again, I leapt away from him and wiped my hands on my pants. “That was fun,” I said. I looked around at the others, who were all staring at me with sympathy. I glared at all of them, including Frost, who’d left me on my own, the traitor. “Benny said rappelling ten miles down the side of a mountain wasn’t enough of a challenge for him, so I volunteered to help.”
“Thirty feet, not ten miles,” Hieronymus said.
“Maybe in metric,” I said, with a laugh that didn’t make me sound crazy. Not. At. All.
I sidled over to Frost and wrapped an arm around his waist. He had the good sense to look nervous, but he slung an arm over my shoulder and hugged me close. “You left me alone up there,” I whispered. “You’d best sleep with one eye open.”
“Chloe,” he said, and I could see the smirk slipping out. He thought it was funny. “You were right behind me. And Benny had you.”
I pushed out of his arms. “Since when do you trust, Benny?” I huffed. “I could have died, Frost.”
I stalked off and joined the front of the line heading down the mountain. Frost didn’t try to catch up with me. Smart man.
Going down should have been easier than going up, but as I’d learned in West Virginia, nothing about being out in nature was fun, relaxing, or easy. Down might have been easier on the lungs, but it was much harder on the knees and blister-covered feet.
Not only that, but Vervain had us walk through a stream for a good mile to hide our scent in case the sasquatch followed us over the mountain.
Just when I was ready to demand a break, Vervain led us to a cave, this one with an easy ingress and egress, and told us we could stop for the night.
Frost caught up to me at the cave entrance and pulled me into a hug. “I’m sorry,” he said. “But it wasn’t a dangerous climb and you were fine.”
“That cavern we slithered through wasn’t dangerous, either,” I said. “But I didn’t laugh at your fear. I stayed by your side and I did everything I could to help you.”
He sighed. “You’re right, Chloe. I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.”
I wanted to stay angry at him, but I was exhausted. “I’ll let you know in the morning if I’ve forgiven you.”
I let him share my sleeping space, but I didn’t speak to him again. I was asleep before I’d taken off my boots.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Outdoorsy people might be better equipped to survive the apocalypse, but indoorsy pe
ople are more fun.—Chloe Frangipani
My wolf divides me, yet it is a vital part of me. Without it, without the ability to run as a wolf, I feel like half a person.—Aiden Frost
Sleeping in wet boots with blister-covered feet is probably one of the dumber things I’d ever done. And I’ve done a lot of dumb things. When Lensy shouted for everyone to get up and get moving, I jumped to my feet, only to have unbelievable pain shoot up my legs. I sat back down with a moan and Frost was by my side in a moment. “Are you okay?”
“My feet hurt,” I said. “I think I should have taken my boots off before I fell asleep.”
“You didn’t?”
“Where were you last night?” I asked.
“I was giving you space,” he said. “It won’t happen again.”
I rolled my eyes, but I didn’t argue, because he was kneeling at my feet and unlacing my boots. “Maybe you should leave them on,” I said. Just standing had put enough pressure on my feet to let me know it was probably going to hurt to take off the boots.
Frost ignored me and slid off the first boot and then the second, slow inch by slow inch. I pulled my socks off and bit my lip not to scream at the pain. The socks had stuck to my bloody blisters and I was ripping off half-formed scabs by taking them off now.
Frost winced at the sight of my raw and bloody feet. I just stared at them. How had they gotten so bad without me realizing it? Not only were they blistered, but they were now extremely dry and cracked. I wasn’t going to get very far on these feet.
“I’m going to get Hieronymus,” Frost said, rising to stand.
“No. He’s probably still weak from healing me yesterday.”
Frost knelt back down by my freak show feet. “You can’t walk on these feet, Chloe, and we need to keep moving. It can’t take that much energy to heal feet.”
Fairy, Neat (Fairy Files Book 6) Page 16