Hieronymus looked at Lensy and Frost, at the harpies. “I’ll explain when we’re alone.”
I nodded, understanding the need for secrecy. I looked at the group. “Why don’t we split up and look for food and herbs and set up camp,” I said. “Anyone who wants to exercise, to train, is free to do so.”
The others wandered off to various tasks and I was left alone with Hieronymus. Even Frost stalked off, his whole body tense like he needed a run, needed to shift.
“What can I do?”
Hieronymus sighed. “All rulers in Rubalia have a connection to their people, a connection that allows them to draw on the energy and power of all of their people.”
“Like the hive mind?”
“No. We can’t share thoughts, but the ruler of the fairies can draw on the power of all the fairies in the land and become exponentially more powerful.”
“And people will die,” I said. Benny had said my mother had drawn on such power to close portals between Rubalia and the nightmare realm. He’d told me that the elderly and the very young, the weak and the sick had not survived her drawing on their power.
Hieronymus didn’t flinch. “There is a price to pay for such power being taken. After you have used what you need, you may retain the power or you may push what is left out and back into your people. When you do that, if you want them all to live, you must give of your own power, your own life force, and you may die. I wouldn’t recommend that option. The deaths of a few are worth the survival of the many.”
“I doubt they’d agree,” I said, my stomach knotting. It seemed less and less likely that I’d survive, or be able to live with myself if I did. “How would I do such a thing? Draw on their power?”
Hieronymus looked out over the clearing, where our friends were working and talking and laughing. “It is usually done only by a true ruler who has been coronated and accepted by word and blood. It may not be possible for you to do it, but I think that it will be, because your mother’s blood is flowing in your veins and that is the royal blood that all the people, over decades, have sworn to honor.”
“Okay,” I said, almost hoping it wouldn’t work. “But how do I do it?”
“I will teach you. You must drop all your defenses, open yourself to the great spirit and energy that courses through all fairies, and ask for it to be funneled into you. It is a sort of visualization.”
Hippy mumbo-jumbo is what it sounded like to me. “I don’t have any defenses,” I said. “You never taught me how to block my mind and my energy.”
“You have defenses none-the-less,” he said. “And you must drop them all.”
I sighed. I hated feeling out of control and I hated being trapped by circumstances. I wanted to fight beside the others, I wanted to make the same sacrifices they did, but I had this damn royal blood in my veins that dictated my choices.
***
I held Frost tight that night, wishing we could be alone and skin to skin. I wished we could talk and enjoy what would probably be one of our last nights together. We couldn’t exactly leave the group and wander off into the forest together alone. As much as I hated Hieronymus’ insistence on protecting me, I understood how idiotic it would be to leave the group, to risk Frost and myself.
There were so many things I wanted to say to him, but as I lay there, his warm body making me almost too hot, all I could manage to say over and over, was ‘I love you. With everything I am, I love you, and always will.’
“I love you more than life or words, Chloe,” his warm, rough voice said. “I have to believe this won’t be the end for us. We still haven’t had our honeymoon.”
I chuckled. I hoped he was right, but I couldn’t help teasing him. “Of course that’s where your mind would be.”
He dug his nose into my neck and sighed. “My mind is almost always on you, naked and sated and loved.”
I couldn’t find much fault with that and I snuggled against him, savoring the moment.
I dreamed of that honeymoon, involving sun and sand and my naked husband, and woke with a smile on my face. It took me only a few moments to remember what lay ahead for us, the darkness we were facing.
The sun wasn’t yet up, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to get back to sleep. I lifted myself from Frost’s vicinity without waking him and tiptoed around the various sleeping bodies in the clearing, under the nearly-full moon. I just wanted to walk a bit and get some air, but I saw Benny, keeping watch at the edge of the forest on the western side, and I headed that way.
Benny was a narcissist and a manipulator, as well as a generally selfish and terrible person, but I felt a sort of kinship with him now that we were facing death together. I almost considered him my friend. Not that I’d ever be stupid enough to trust him with anything as precious as my…Well, my favorite piece of kitsch…or admit to him that I kind of…Like wasn’t the right word…Tolerated him.
“You make more noise than a herd of cattle crossing a field covered in twigs and dry leaves,” he said in a low voice, his back to me.
“I wasn’t trying to sneak up on you,” I said, although I had been attempting not to wake everyone up. I plopped down on a nearby boulder, its surface rough and moss-covered. “How’s it going?”
He looked at me, eyes narrowed, as though he suspected I must have an ulterior motive for asking about his well-being. “Well, I haven’t seen or heard anyone coming to attack us, so that’s good.”
I smiled at his sharp tone and wondered how many real friends Benny had. “What did you think of Hieronymus’ speech this afternoon?”
“It makes sense,” Benny said. “He’s not wrong, up to a point.”
“And what’s that point?” I asked, though I suspected I already knew.
“It will be worth it to lose the element of surprise if you and I are threatened with grievous bodily harm or mind control.”
“Selfish to the bitter end,” I said, though I saw his point. The element of surprise would do us no good if we were all dead.
“I am. Exceedingly selfish. I’m not a good or altruistic person, but you need me.”
“You don’t think I can fight the queens on my own?” I was putting on a bravado I didn’t feel, because he was annoying me. There were so many truly decent people sleeping on the ground a few feet from us, why should it be the two of us who got to live when the others died?
“No, I don’t. But that’s not why you need me.”
“Uh-huh,” I said. “Cut the dramatics and get to the point.”
“When one is a slave, Chloe, personality is all one truly has.”
I considered making a snide comment, but thought better of it. I had no concept of what he’d experienced as a child, no idea of all the ways it had shaped and damaged him. If drama and an outrageous personality were what got him through the day, I was in no position to judge. So I sat beside him and I said nothing. I stared out into the dark forest, alive with unfamiliar night sounds, screeches and clicks and the movement of small animals over dry leaves, some waking as dawn approached while others prepared to sleep the day away. I waited for Benny to tell me why I needed him but, like Archibald, he enjoyed the weighted silence, the build-up of anticipation.
“My earliest memory,” he said. “Was of nightmares dragging my mother from me so they could beat her for not working hard enough. She was pregnant when they took her and she was no longer pregnant when they brought her back. I was four-years-old.” He spoke in a staccato, emotionless tone, like he was reciting a grocery list. I understood he was giving me an insight he shared with few, if any. “It was just me and her, in the servant’s quarters of a small house in the city. Even the lowest rank and poorest nightmares kept slaves. I believe the nightmares who owned us were of the lowest rank and took their lack of success in life out on my mother and on me. Some part of her died that day and she was never again the warm, loving, doting mother I’d known. I took on more and more of her workload, trying to make her life easier, trying to make sure they never hurt her again.”
“How like you, Chloe, to get right to the heart of the matter.” He met my eyes, revealing no offense at my impolite question. “My father lived in the house with two roommates. My father was a nightmare.”
That floored me. I tried to understand. “But you’re a dragon,” I said. “You don’t have any traits of the nightmares.” When I’d suspected him of being a half breed, I’d assumed his father was another species from the nightmare realm, one I’d never encountered.
He nodded. “The dragon genes were stronger than the nightmare genes, but I wouldn’t say I inherited nothing from my father. I am smaller than most dragons in both my shifted and human forms, and I feel very little, Chloe. I have never loved anyone but my mother, have never felt empathy for another soul, and I wouldn’t shed a tear if you, the closest thing I’ve ever had to a true friend, were struck down before me.”
I suspected his lack of emotion and his inability to love could be as much a result of his upbringing as of his genetic make-up, but I said nothing. I wasn’t his therapist and had no desire to take on his mental health.
“When I was eight, my mother became pregnant again and she feared she would be beaten. My father and his roommates had fallen on hard times and wouldn’t welcome another mouth to feed or my mother’s necessary break from service during the pregnancy. So, we fled together. She died before we got out of the city, but I survived and made it to a portal and into Rubalia. I’ve never known the details, but I’ve long suspected she made my escape easier through connections she’d made or by sacrificing her life for mine. Most of my memory of that night is gone.”
“I’m sorry. I can’t even imagine.”
“No,” he said. “No, you can’t. Those monsters took my mother, they took my childhood, and they took my home. I miss the nightmare realm, Chloe, the feel of the desert air on my skin, the scent of the wind, the taste of the desert grasses. I miss it and I want to go back.”
“How can you possibly. . .?”
“Want to return to the land of my worst memories, the land of my pain and my torment? Because it is my home. It is the only place I ever knew love. I deserve to have it back.”
“How?”
“I’m going to return to the nightmare realm as its king and my dragon companions will be my court. We will take over the nightmare realm and put the nightmares back in their place as the lowlies.”
“You’ll make them slaves?” I asked. “You’ll do to them what was done to you by them?”
“Not that it will be of any concern to you, Chloe, but we’ll allow them to live free as long as they abide by our rules, the most rigid of which is that they can never again venture into Rubalia.”
“You’ll defeat the queens and become the rightful ruler, the way my mother defeated my grandfather to become queen of the fairies?”
Benny sneered. “Dragons aren’t as brutal or vicious as the fairies, dear Chloe. We will merely imprison them and cut off their ability to communicate with their colonies.”
“What?” I asked. “How?”
“Archibald told me of a root, found only in the nightmare realm. As long as we include it in their meals, they won’t be able to communicate with the hive mind as you think of it.”
“And their imprisonment, while they are still living, will remind their followers of the price of rebellion and prevent any new queens from rising up,” I guessed. No matter what he said, I knew Benny didn’t avoid violence unless it benefited him directly to do so.
He smiled and patted my head like I was a dog. “You are quick, Chloe. I’ll miss that about you.”
“Okay,” I said. “I need you to help me defeat the nightmares and rule them in the nightmare realm, but why do you need me?” Yes, I would accept Benny as the new leader of the nightmare realm that easily. I had no one else in mind for the job and he was the lesser of all the evils I knew.
He bit his lower lip, likely considering how much he wanted to admit. Finally, he smiled. “I need that enormous power you can draw on, Chloe, to overwhelm the queens and convince them to communicate to all the other nightmares that it’s time to go home. Even I am not strong enough to subdue twenty-five queens alone.”
And I might be, but the effort was likely to kill me. “Okay,” I said, seeing no other option, having no better plan. “Hopefully, we can make this work, but if not, it’s been a…It’s been real.”
He sneered. “What does that even mean? It’s been real? Do you realize how outdated your slang is, Chloe?”
“The better question, Benny, is do I care?”
He snorted and almost smiled. Then his eyes darkened and he scanned my body from top to bottom. “What do you say, Chloe? One quick roll in the hay in case we don’t make it out of this alive?”
“Nope.”
He pouted. “A sip of that scrumptious blood of yours?”
“A thousand times no. But thank you for reminding me how truly vile you are. I was beginning to think of you as a friend.”
Benny shuddered. “The friend zone. No thank you.”
I laughed and took my leave of him. The sun was rising over the trees and the others would be up soon.
***
My feet ached, my back hurt, and I’d sweated through all my clothes. The only up side was that my wings were happy with the warmer temperatures as we continued down the mountain that morning. It wasn’t full light, yet, but it was already hot enough to confirm it would be a brutal, humid, and sweaty day. Luckily, heat was my element and humidity made me think of home.
Vervain led us off the trail and through thick brush, and I managed not to groan aloud. I had almost been enjoying myself hiking downhill on a cleared trail, which was so much better than the hell of forcing our way through undergrowth that was happier never being touched by rough fae hands.
When the extreme-bush-whacking segment of our hike ended at a stunning lake that shouldn’t have fit on the side of a mountain, I figured I must be hallucinating from the heat. I glanced back at Vervain. “Why’d you bring us here?”
“We stink,” she said with typical tween acidity. “They’ll smell us before they see us if we don’t bathe.”
I’d gotten kind of used to the stink, but I wasn’t going to turn down a dip in that gorgeous lake to cool off. I wasn’t going to turn it down until I watched Vin and Lensy strip, jump into the lake, shriek, and jump back out again, squeaking about how cold the water was. Two of the toughest women I knew couldn’t handle the lake, so I knew there was no way I could. I didn’t like being cold and my wings, especially, didn’t like being cold. Even the idea of escaping the heat for a few moments wasn’t enough to convince me it was a good idea.
“Isn’t there a hot spring around here somewhere?” I asked, remembering the cozy hot spring Frost had taken me to when we were in West Virginia.
Vervain gave me a blank look. “No.”
More screaming ahead and more bodies jumping into the icy cold water.
“Why is it so cold on such a hot day?” I asked.
“It is fed by a spring,” Vervain said. “It is always cold.”
“I mean is getting wet really the same as getting clean? We don’t have any soap or any way to wash our clothes. What’s the point?” I asked.
Frost chuckled and squeezed my hip. I glared at him, but my expression did nothing to mute the amusement in his eyes.
“We have soap,” Vervain said. “You jump in, get out and soap up, and jump in again.” Sure enough, when I looked toward the front of the line, I saw Lensy handing out soap.
“But what about our clothes?” I asked.
“We have soap for that, too,” Vervain said, sounding every bit as exasperated with me as any Non teen would have been.
“Great,” I said. “That’s great.�
�
I needed to stall…I needed…“Oh, would you look at that.” I stepped to the side and bent over my boot. “My shoe’s untied. Can’t go any farther until I’ve fixed it. Would be dangerous, you know.” Vervain gave me another look like I was a crazy old hag and continued on.
“That’s only going to save you for about five minutes,” Frost said.
“That’s five minutes to stay warm and dry.”
He patted my shoulder. “I’ll keep you warm. Come find me when you’re ready.”
I looked up at him. “It’s been days since we’ve done more than kiss. If I find you, we’ll end up giving everyone a show they’ll never forget.”
Frost might not be shy about being naked in front of other people, but he blanched at the idea of us acting out a low-budget porno in front of them. “Good point. I’ll try to find you a towel.” He headed after the others, whooping and pulling off his jeans as he careened toward the lake. He had no fear of the cold, but his enthusiasm seemed gratuitous.
I should have gotten an Oscar for the acting I did, pretending to tie a shoe that was never untied in the first place. I fussed over that shoe so long that everyone else had jumped in the lake and jumped out to soap off.
“Not scared of a little bit of cold water are you, Chloe Frangipani?” A familiar voice asked.
I looked up to see Pippi standing at the edge of the forest, about ten feet from where I knelt. Chervil stood by her side. I rose to my feet, my smile splitting my face. “Did you get the kids to the Non okay?”
“We did,” Pippi said. “We took them to Indigo. They can stay at the house until we figure out what to do with them.”
I had no idea what Indigo would do with them, but I couldn’t spend too much time worrying about that. I’d have to trust Indigo to look out for them and make good choices for their well-being.
“I’m surprised you found us,” I said.
Pippi smirked. “Chervil is an excellent tracker and you left a hard-to-miss trail.”
“I covered it up for you,” Chervil rumbled in his deep voice.
Fairy, Neat (Fairy Files Book 6) Page 19