“There you are!” Anna Marie chirps as she hurries over to me.
“You look hot,” I say, taking in her short black dress.
She looks me up and down. “And you look . . . like yourself.” She sounds disappointed.
“Hey, I’m here, aren’t I?”
“True.” She hands me her cup. “But you’re late and you look like you need a drink. Here, chug the rest, it’s getting warm anyway.”
I glower and take her beer. “Gee, thanks.” I take a couple sips, realizing I’m not a beer person whatsoever, but I’d never complain. Licking my lips, I hand her cup back to her. “So, a warm beer, huh? That means you’re not drinking it fast enough. Do you have a fever?” I feign concern and rest the back of my hand against her forehead, only for her to bat it away.
“Ha. Ha,” she deadpans. “It’s hard work being the hostess of such a fabulous party.”
“Yeah, about that.” I glance around the room at all the flushed, smiling faces. “I noticed the whole baseball team is here.”
Anna’s brow furrows and then it seems to click and her eyes twinkle. “Oh! Yes, Nick.” The corner of her mouth draws up conspiratorially. “Of course I invited them. Why do you think all of these people are here?”
“Why didn’t you warn me?”
“Why, so you could bail?” Anna lifts a shoulder, practically beaming with pride. “It’s your first party, I wanted it to be special.”
I don’t pretend to understand Anna’s schemes all the time, even if she thinks they’re always in my best interest. “Whatever. You better not disappear on me all night.”
Anna waves my threat away. “Go get a drink, chat with some people, make some friends—you do know how to be at a party, right?” she jokes.
“Yes,” I sneer. “I might not get out much, but I don’t live under a rock.”
“Great, then I’ll catch up with you in a bit. I have to make sure my parents’ room is still locked. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” She winks at me and makes her way through the crowd.
I notice Steve Hilman, a hotshot running back from our rival school in Benton, behind her in the hallway, and he winks at me. I immediately glance away. His sister was my math tutor over the summer, and he’d texted me a few times and told me he’d “formed an attachment” to me. It was a bunch of crap; he just wanted me to be another story to tell his teammates, all jocks usually do, and I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction.
When I turn back around, my gaze find Nick’s. He’s staring at me and my entire body freezes in place, even if my instinct is to turn around and disappear into the crowd. His eyes are set on me, and he steps past Slimy Slinsky. My heart pumps triple-time when I realize he’s walking over. I can’t tell if I’m excited or going to have a panic attack, until he reaches me. The moment he smiles, some of my unease fades away.
I peer around the den, at the books lining the walls and the antique bookends. I don’t know what I was thinking bringing Nick in here, away from everyone. I’ve never been good at filling silences, unless it’s with Jesse.
Nick settles back into the couch, completely ignoring the girls giggling across the room, to my relief.
“So,” he finally says, “what have you been up to? I mean, I feel like it’s been a really long time since I’ve seen you around. You avoid me at school and this is the first time I’ve seen you off campus . . . ever.”
“I don’t avoid you,” I lie. “But, yeah, I’ve been busy with life . . . and school.” Even if talking to Nick is unexpected, it’s not exactly unwanted. The more he talks, the easier it feels to keep the conversation moving. “What about you? You’re a big baseball star, I hear. MVP last year, even.”
Nick’s toothy grin fills his handsome face, and I feel lighter again. “How’d you know that?”
“I’m on your turf now,” I tell him, and Anna Marie likes to know everyone’s business. Like, I know Nick has never had a serious girlfriend but he’s been seen at parties and games with girls. I know he’s flirty and makes friends everywhere he goes. I’m not sure what that means for me, though, sitting here with him. But I know he could be hanging out with anyone right now, but he’s not. “I hear a lot of things.”
“Too much, probably,” he admits.
I shrug. “Maybe, but it sounds like you’re pretty popular.”
He must like that observation because his grin widens. “So, you’ve been asking around about me, huh?”
I smile and roll my eyes. “No.” Yes—maybe a little.
He nudges me and leans in a bit closer. “Come on, you can tell me. It’s flattering, really. Is it my eyes that you like? I’ve been told they can see into a girl’s soul.” He flexes his bicep and lifts his chin. “Or is it my rugged exterior. I work out, you know? This throwing arm doesn’t just happen on its own.” He’s teasing, but it’s all true.
“You’re so full of yourself and ridiculous.” I nearly snort with laughter. “It’s embarrassing.”
“Yeah, but making you laugh is worth it.” His eyes are smoldering and my laughter dies away.
I know he’s had a couple beers, but maybe that’s a good thing. Part of me wishes I’d had more to drink so that I wasn’t sweating in places I’d rather not say, especially not now, of all times.
Nick’s eyes shift to my lips, and I feel brave again. His attention makes me feel like a pretty girl, and I want to know what it tastes like to kiss him. He’s sitting here with me, isn’t he? He’s flirting with me. “I wanted tonight to be epic,” I breathe, and the reminder comforts me. Without allowing myself to think any more about it, I do something for myself. My heart races and my skin tingles as I lean in and press my lips to his.
Everything seems to freeze in an instant. His mouth is hot and soft against mine, but he doesn’t kiss me back at first. My heart pounds and I briefly panic. When I start to pull away, he presses his lips harder against mine.
His kiss is more urgent, but I don’t stop him. It feels right and good, and I wish it would consume me so that I never have to think about anything else again.
The girls laugh on the couch across the room and the warm cocoon around me falls away. Reality seeps back through my mind-numbing haze, and I realize what I’m doing. I feel the girls’ eyes on us, and I question what I’ve just set into motion. I start to panic again.
Nick reaches for my side to pull me closer, but I pull away.
I breathe in deeply, uncertain if I should open my eyes.
Was I really just kissing Nick? Not a drawn-out peck on the lips like I’ve done before, but a tongue-in-my-mouth, hot-breath-against-mine sort of kiss, and it was with Nick. I’m not sure if I’m bubbling with glee or if my stomach is upset and I’m going to throw up.
“I’m—uh.” I rush to say words that don’t form in my brain. “I’ll be right back.”
He nods, but his eyes are hazy and round, and he’s breathing heavily. I can tell Nick wants to say something, that he’s confused. So am I, but the last thing I want to do is throw up on him.
Refraining from smashing my head against the wall, I exit the room. Nick’s going to think I’m crying again or running away. Or maybe he just thinks I’m pathetic, which I am.
Thankfully, the bathroom door is open, but Hilman stops me just as I’m about to go inside, his cocky-ass grin spread from ear to ear. “Haven’t seen you in a while, Beth.”
“There’s a reason, Steve,” I say with more bite than I mean to.
He smirks and lifts an eyebrow. “Whatever you say, but you know where to find me when you change your mind.”
I wave him away, too impatient to deal with him right now.
Once I get into the bathroom, I shut the door behind me and stare at my pathetic expression in the mirror. I’m a wreck. I lean in and fix the pink smudge of my lip gloss and imagine Nick’s mouth on mine again. He kissed me back. The realization is huge. Kissing him was a euphoric high and felt right, like it was a long time coming. He’s the only boy I’ve ever cared much about and, someho
w, he’s sitting out there, waiting for me. It’s just a kiss, but I feel alive for the first time. I chock my nausea up to nerves, which seem to fade the more excited I get.
Giddy, I turn on my heels. I fling open the door and head back down the hallway, ready to laugh off my near-meltdown, when I hear Slinsky’s boisterous laugh. I pause outside the doorway.
“—you’re the mac! First Brenda and Rachel, now the hot freshman?” With each name my heart sinks a little. I don’t want to be a name on a list of other girls.
“And those are only the girls I know about,” Slinsky continues. “My man gets around.”
My chest tightens. Am I going to be a locker room conquest story?
“I want all the gory details.” Slinsky’s voice spins round and round in my head. “Come on, you can tell The Rodster all about it.”
“Yeah, sure, later,” Nick says and the backs of my eyes begin to burn. Nick’s voice replays through my mind. “Is it my eyes? I’ve been told they can see into a girl’s soul.” Mortification turns into white-hot anger and I let it consume me. I’m an idiot. I’ve been so busy fawning over Nick, I didn’t stop to think about what was really happening. This wasn’t the sort of epic I’d had in mind.
My feet start moving, carrying me through the crowd with no specific destination as long as it’s away from them. I need to numb the sting. I need liquid courage to say or do something that will liberate me from the humiliation and anger that scorches my skin.
I stop at the keg and pour myself a half-filled cup, too impatient to let it fill completely. I chug it down, then refill it just as quickly. The foam tickles my lips and the carbonation almost burns going down, but I do it again. Pour and chug.
The sound of laughter taunts me, and the thrumming music in my head is almost too distant against the sound of my heart, beating in my ears. My blood is rushing.
I’m not sure what comes over me, but when I see Hilman talking to a group of people in the kitchen, I head straight for him. Nick and Slinsky want a story to tell, so I’ll give them one. It will be about the night Bethany Fairchild decided she was done being the good one, or the one that isn’t good enough.
Draping my arm over Hilman’s shoulder, I take his cup from his hand, earning a surprised frown as I down the rest of his beer. It tastes like crap, but I don’t care.
When his eyes shift to my mouth and he smiles, I do what sober, less impulsive me will regret tomorrow. I lean in, close to his ear. “I changed my mind,” I tell him, and when Hilman looks at me with amusement, I don’t hesitate. I pull his mouth against mine and pray his kiss will chase the memory of Nick’s away. And if my dad thinks I’m a disappointment, I’ll give him something else to be disappointed about.
I kiss Hilman harder and with more need than I expect, but I embrace it and I don’t stop until I can no longer breathe.
Finally, when I pull away, Hilman blinks his eyes open. He looks more than surprised, he looks pleased. “Damn, girl. You’re better at that than I expected.”
I hated it. I hated every second of it. I want to scream, but the look in his eyes and the power I feel, knowing I can make fancy-footed, star running back Steve Hilman blush, emboldens me.
When I see Nick’s face across the room, when I see the shock in his eyes, I can’t help myself. I take Hilman’s hand and lead him from the room so that Nick’s gaze won’t burn so badly.
Here’s a story for you, Nick.
Seven
Bethany
“I’ll take bed number three—oh, and I’d like a flamingo sticker this time, please.”
I fake-smile at Carol Goode because it’s about all I can manage, and hand her a pair of tanning bed glasses and a small flamingo sticker I can only assume she’ll put in some secret place on her body.
“My boyfriend is taking me to Hawaii,” she says, all smiles and boasting glee. “I want to make sure I’m ready.” She shimmies her shoulders, and I force another grin. “How fun. Let me know if you need anything else.”
Carol traipses into room three and clicks the door shut.
“Your favorite person,” Anna Marie quietly sings as she comes in from the back, armed with a large bottle of disinfectant spray. “Who’s she dating this week?”
“I didn’t ask,” I grumble and flip my textbook open again. I hate that my life has resorted to nonstop studying.
Anna nudges the disinfectant closer. “Make sure Trent refills all the bottles when he’s finished, would you? I have a dozen boxes of inventory and supplies I have to receive in the back today.”
“Sure.” I’m listening but also not really at the same time. I have a quiz tomorrow in my Developmental Psych class, which is more pressing than bad tans and Clorox spray. I peruse the highlighted tidbits in my book, scanning for the field studies I need to spend the most time reviewing. Had I not accidentally fallen asleep last night, working on the essay Professor Murray expects me to have completed tomorrow in order to pass his class, I wouldn’t be panicking right now.
“Hey,” Anna Marie says, leaning on the desk. She taps the countertop to get my attention.
“Hmm?”
When I don’t look at her, she covers the open page with her hand. “Hey,” she says more coolly, and I meet her blue gaze. “I know you’ve got a lot going on right now with graduation and your brother, but I need you to work, too.”
My cheeks burn, and I swallow thickly. She’s completely right. “I know. I’m sorry.” I clamp the book shut. I need this job, even if I barely have time for it.
“Why are you working here anyway?” Anna asks. “I mean, I know your parents are loaded.”
I bark out a laugh. “And what makes you think any of that money is mine?” I work when I can so I can move out, though going to school full-time makes an apartment feel like a pipe dream at this point. The closer grad school gets, the more I dread the impending cost. “I’m the black sheep, remember?”
“I thought Jesse was the black sheep.”
I laugh again, more saddened by the reality of it all, but still highly amused. “He is—we both are,” I clarify. “It’s complicated.” My parents don’t give me handouts like hers do, but I would never tell her that to her face. She’s been a good friend, even if she’s gotten me into more trouble than I’d care to admit. “I’ll put my book away.”
“I’ll tell you what,” she says, steadying her hand on my book. “Trent needs to learn the register anyway. Why don’t you take your break? That way you can get some studying in now, feel a little better about it, then actually carry on a conversation with me later, when we’re really slow and I’m about to lose my mind.”
I smile at her, a real smile this time. A grateful smile. “That would be awesome, actually.”
“All right, I’ll go grab Trent. Mrs. Folen should be coming in any minute for her three o’clock appointment. Stay up here until Trent’s ready, okay? I can’t have him scaring our best customer away because he’s inadequate and awkward in just about every single way.”
“Why did your mom hire him again?” I ask, realizing Anna’s right. Trent is a nice enough guy, but he’s a twenty-one-year-old violinist that should be working at the music warehouse or at a grocery store, not cleaning tanning beds and folding towels.
“A favor for her friend, I guess. The perk of being the boss’s daughter: I get to deal with all the crap my mom doesn’t want to.” She rolls her eyes. “Just stay up here with him for a bit, would you?”
“Yeah. Sure.”
Just as Anna Marie turns down the hall, she pops her head back into the room. “And amidst your crazy schedule, plug me in for Friday night. I know you’re busy and all, but Bobby is going to be at Lick’s, and I told him I would meet up with him.”
“So?”
“So, we’re going out, girl. You need some pep in your life. And bubbles.”
“Always more bubbles,” we say in unison, and I can’t help but laugh.
“Put me in your calendar!” she calls down the hall. “Don’t forget.
”
Since the misery and recklessness of my breakup with Mike wore off, I’ve tried to keep a low profile. My nights of freedom have been few and far between, anyway, but I’m generally okay with that. Distractions, it would seem, are my kryptonite.
After shoving my textbook back into my bag behind the counter, I settle in at the desk again. It’s warm for a spring afternoon, and I knot my hair up on my head and breathe out the tension in my shoulders.
Turning my phone over, I’m happy to see I have no missed calls from my mom or Jesse, which means today went by without a hitch. Every time she has to pick him up from school, I worry she’ll run late, and send him into a tailspin. Her design business is the most important thing in her life, that and a strange need to please my dad, which makes me resent her even more.
A woman’s trill laughter reaches my ears from outside in the breezeway, and I assume it’s Mrs. Folen. So, I’m shocked to see a familiar red-headed bombshell, laughing with her arms around Nick as they walk past the windowed storefront. Savannah hasn’t been at Lick’s in a while, and I heard she moved away. I assumed her and Nick were over, but apparently, I was wrong.
I want to look away from how sickeningly sweet they are together, but I can’t. I can control very few things in my life, and I wish my back and forth feelings for Nick were one of them.
The way his hand rests at her lower back, leading her into the deli, is a painful reminder of all the what ifs. What if I’d never left Nick on the couch the night of our kiss? What if Nick hadn’t been friends with Slinsky? But I did, Nick was, and the rest is history. So, we’re left with a big heap of stilted conversations and utter awkwardness over the years that makes everything a complicated mess.
Nick laughs, a deep throaty sound that enlivens his whole face and makes his eyes crinkle in the corners.
Savannah’s smile widens and she laughs along with him as they step inside.
I force myself to look away.
Told You So_A Saratoga Falls Love Story Page 7