by Sandi Lynn
“Hello, Carter. I’m so sorry for your loss.”
“Thanks, Brian. Come on in.”
“You must be Miss Benson.” He smiled as he held out his hand.
“It’s Zoey. Nice to meet you, Mr. Gainsley.”
“I suppose we should go into the dining room,” I spoke. “May I get you anything, Brian? Coffee? A drink perhaps?”
“No thank you.” He took a seat at the table.
Zoey took her seat and I sat down next to her.
“I have Nora’s wishes, so to speak. I was instructed to deliver these wishes immediately following her death.”
He pulled out a large packet of papers from the envelope and cleared his throat.
“I, Nora Grayson, give to you the following that are my wishes and are to be honored upon my death. I will be cremated and my ashes will be scattered in the following places: Lake Tahoe, Grand Canyon, in the waters of Puget Sound, and my remaining ashes shall be scattered near Sweetheart Rock on the Hawaiian Island of Lanai. The scattering is to be done by two people: my brother Carter Grayson and my hospice nurse Zoey Benson in the exact order as stated above.”
“What?!” I exclaimed. “You have got to be kidding me.”
“Shall I continue, Carter?” Brian asked with a raised brow.
I sat there and looked out the window as he continued.
“Upon the completion of my wishes, Zoey will receive a check for services rendered and Carter will receive the signed papers handing over my shares of Grayson Enterprises to him. Both Carter and Zoey will travel by car to distribute my ashes with the exception of Hawaii. Since Lanai will be the last place visited and not many ashes will be left, the remaining amount can be stored in a small Ziploc baggie and tucked away in between layers of clothing either in a carry-on or suitcase. Take note that when you scatter my ashes in Lake Tahoe, it must be done on the south side (Nevada), since it is prohibited in California. When you get back home to New York, please have a celebration lunch or dinner for me. Celebrate the fact that I am healthy once again and no longer in pain. No tears shall be shed and life will go on as usual.”
“Well, that’s it. Those are Nora’s wishes,” Brian spoke. “I’ve already been in contact with the funeral home and they will be cremating her today and you may pick up her ashes tomorrow. She was very prepared for this, Carter. Now it’s up to you and Miss Benson to see that her wishes are fulfilled.”
“She certainly was prepared, wasn’t she?” I sighed.
“If you don’t have any further questions, I have a plane to catch back to New York.”
“No.” I shook my head. “No questions.”
“Again, I’m so sorry for your loss. She was a wonderful girl.”
I walked Brian to the door, and after I shut it, I looked over at Zoey, who was still sitting at the table.
“What the hell was she thinking?” I asked.
“I don’t know.”
“Listen,” I spoke as I walked over to her. “I can do this alone. I’ll write you a check and you can go home.”
“To be honest with you, Mr. Grayson, the last thing I want to do is to be stuck in a car with you traveling from state to state, but I respected Nora a great deal, and if this is what she wanted, then I will do as she asked.”
I narrowed my eye at her at the fact that she said she didn’t want to be stuck in a car with me.
“Fine. Then we’ll head to Lake Tahoe tomorrow after we leave the funeral home.”
“In what?” she asked.
“I guess I’ll have to rent us a car, won’t I?”
I left the dining room and headed down to the beach to do some thinking and call the rental car company. Me and Zoey, in a car for all those days and hours, alone. We barely got along as it was, and now, I had a feeling things were about to get worse. I was looking forward to parting ways with her in the next day or two. But now, we’d be stuck on this road trip together, which was already stressing me out and making my head hurt.
Chapter Eighteen
Zoey
The thought of being stuck in a car with him traveling through different states made me uncomfortable. I knew what Nora was thinking when she did that. The last thing she whispered to me before she passed was to look after him and make sure he was okay. If he had been a nice person, I wouldn’t have minded. And even though he was rude, arrogant, and a total asshole of a human being, I still felt this undeniable pull towards him. Nora wasn’t the only one who wanted me to help him. Angelique visited my dreams frequently. Her presence in this house was strong and her messages were coming through loud and clear.
“I’ve rented a car for our little road trip,” Carter spoke from behind and I jumped.
“You scared me.” I placed my hand over my heart and turned around. “Why are you always sneaking up on me?”
“I don’t sneak up on you. It’s not my fault that you’re always in a daze.”
“I am not.”
“Yes, you are. But I’m not going to stand here and argue with you. Sadie’s flight back to New York leaves tomorrow morning at ten o’clock and the car service is picking her up at eight. As soon as she leaves, we’ll head to the funeral home and be on our way to Lake Tahoe.”
Just as I was about to speak, Carter’s phone rang.
“I have to take this.” He headed towards his office.
I went into the kitchen where Sadie was just starting to make lunch. As I was helping her, Carter walked in.
“As of tomorrow, this house will be on the market.”
“That was quick,” I spoke.
“The quicker the better.”
He walked over to the refrigerator and grabbed a bottle of water.
“But why? You bought this house for a reason at one time.”
Sadie glanced over at me and lightly shook her head as if to warn me not to agitate him, but I didn’t care. Carter turned to me, his eyes burned into mine.
“Me selling this house is none of your concern, Zoey.”
“You’re right, Mr. Grayson, it’s not. But this house meant the world to Nora. She wouldn’t want you to sell it.”
“Nora isn’t here anymore, is she?” He cocked his head and spoke with an attitude.
“Just because she isn’t physically here doesn’t mean she isn’t here in spirit.”
“Jesus Christ, enough with your craziness. Nora isn’t here, this is my house, and I’ve decided to sell it. There’s no need for me to keep it anymore.”
“The memories here are enough to want to keep it,” I spoke.
“Yeah, well, some memories are better forgotten. I’m going out. I’ll be back later.” He stormed out of the kitchen.
I looked at Sadie, who stood there with an “I told you so” look on her face. I shrugged.
“Someone had to say it. He’s selling this house for all the wrong reasons and one day he will regret it.”
“We know that, Zoey, but he will never see it that way.”
I was lying in bed, unable to fall asleep, when I heard the front door open. Looking at the clock, I saw that it was just after midnight. I listened carefully for him to walk up the stairs, but I didn’t hear anything. It wasn’t hard to miss because the third step from the bottom squeaked when you stepped on it. Was he drunk again? Did he need to be checked on? Why did I care? I lay there, pondering my thoughts, and finally threw the covers back and walked from my room to the living area, where I found Carter lying on the couch, passed out. Walking back to my room, I grabbed an extra pillow off the bed and a blanket, and took it out to him. After placing the pillow under his head and covering him with the blanket, I stood there for a moment and stared at him. His grief, his broken heart, and his broken soul were too much for him to handle and I wasn’t sure how to help him.
****
The next morning, after getting dressed, I grabbed my bags and set them by the front door. Looking over at the couch, I noticed Carter wasn’t there. As I went into the kitchen for a cup of coffee, I heard footsteps coming down
the stairs.
“Sadie will be down in a minute. Are you all packed?” he spoke.
“Good morning to you too. My bags are already by the front door.”
I poured him a cup of coffee and handed it to him.
“Were you the one responsible for the pillow and blanket last night?”
“Yes.” I wrapped my hands around the mug and took a sip of coffee.
He stood in front of the patio door and stared out at the ocean.
“Thanks,” he softly spoke.
“You’re welcome. Want to talk about it?” I cautiously asked, even though I knew what the answer would be.
“No,” he spoke in a sharp tone.
Sadie walked down the stairs just as there was a knock at the door.
“That must be your driver,” Carter spoke to her.
I walked over and hugged her tight.
“Thank you for everything, Sadie.”
“You’re welcome, Zoey. Thank you for everything you did for Nora. Please don’t be a stranger and come visit. I’ll miss you and our morning talks.”
I gave her a small smile.
“I’ll miss you too, and I won’t be a stranger.”
“Good luck on your road trip. Whatever you do, please don’t kill Mr. Grayson,” she whispered to me with a smile.
“I will try my best to control myself.” I winked at her.
Carter said his goodbyes, and as soon as Sadie was gone, he grabbed his bags.
“Are you ready?” he asked me.
“Is the rental car here?”
“Yes. It was dropped off last night.”
Walking over to the door, I grabbed my bags and took them outside. While Carter loaded them into the Escalade he rented, I stood in front of the house and took one last look at it. Staring up at the bedroom window that was Carter’s, I saw Angelique in the window. The corners of my mouth curved up into a tender smile as I climbed into the SUV and braced myself for the journey that I was about to embark on.
Carter drove us to the funeral home, which was only fifteen minutes down the road. Once we arrived, we were greeted by Ted Kingsley, the owner.
“I’m so sorry for your loss. Please step into my office and I will collect your sister’s ashes,” he spoke.
Carter and I took a seat in the oversized brown leather chairs and waited for Ted to come back. As I glanced over at him, I could see his uneasiness as he sat there and rubbed his hands. A few moments later, Ted and another man walked in carrying two small silver urns each.
“Why are there four urns?” Carter asked.
“It was per your sister’s request,” Ted replied. “Each urn is for the four places in which you will scatter her ashes.”
He set the urns on the table next to his desk.
“Each urn is equally filled except for this one. This has only a small amount of her ashes in it for your Hawaii trip, which can easily be transferred into this plastic storage bag.”
“I am not putting my sister’s ashes in a plastic storage bag,” Carter spoke. “I will be renting a private plane to fly us to Hawaii, so taking the urn won’t be an issue.”
“Very well, Mr. Grayson. All I need from you is a signature that you’ve picked up your sister’s ashes and then we’ll be done here.”
Carter signed the paperwork, handed me two of the urns, and then we climbed into the SUV and started on our trip to Lake Tahoe.
Chapter Nineteen
Carter
I’d never had to pick up someone’s ashes before. My parents and Angelique were buried in a coffin in the ground with gravestones for people to visit them. I wouldn’t have that with Nora, and in a way, it pissed me off more than I ever knew it would. I took in a deep breath as I started the SUV and pulled out of the parking lot of the funeral home.
“I can’t believe Nora did all this,” I spoke in a hasty tone.
“Did what? Make things easy for you?”
I glanced over at Zoey, who was staring at me through her sunglasses.
“You think this is easy? You think I like traveling around with my sister’s ashes in the back seat? I don’t know why the hell she just couldn’t be buried next to my parents.”
“She obviously had a reason for wanting her ashes scattered to these various places. They must have some sort of meaning.”
“If they do, I don’t know anything about it.”
“So do you have a plan or are we just winging it?” she asked.
“Like I had time to plan anything,” I replied. “I guess we’re just winging it. Can you do me a favor and just be quiet? I need to think.”
“Maybe you should have started planning yesterday after Mr. Gainsley left instead of going out and getting drunk.”
“Are you serious right now?” I glared at her. “What I do is none of your fucking business. Got it?” I pointed my finger at her.
“Got it, Mr. Grayson.” She put in her earbuds and stared out the passenger side window.
Who the hell did she think she was?
The next two hours were quiet ones. Zoey listened to her music while I drove down the highway and thought about things. The things I had to do once I got back to New York. I glanced over at Zoey from time to time. I knew how rude I was being, but I couldn’t help it. She was beautiful and she didn’t deserve to be treated the way I treated her since the first day we met. But I couldn’t let any type of feelings emerge. The man I used to be was gone, buried alive beneath the tragedies and pain I’d endured over the past few years. I was lost and Zoey seemed to be the type of woman who could find me. If I wanted to be found, I would let her. But I didn’t. Because if I was, then I’d be forced to live a life of happiness, only to have it stolen away from me at any given time.
“Hey,” I spoke as I looked over at Zoey.
She couldn’t hear me, so I tapped on her shoulder. Taking her earbuds out, she spoke, “What?”
“Are you getting hungry?” I asked.
“Yeah. Actually, I am.”
“In another hour, we’ll be in Lone Pine, which is halfway to Lake Tahoe. We can stop and grab some lunch. Can you hold out?”
“I can.” She smiled as she placed her earbuds back in her ears.
Her smile was her best feature as far as I was concerned. It was genuinely sweet and each time the corners of her mouth curved upwards, it sent an unexpected warmth through me. A warmth that I had to fight off every time. We reached Lone Pine and stopped at a restaurant called The Grill. The moment we stepped inside, Zoey ran to the bathroom while the hostess sat us in a booth near the window.
“Whew, I didn’t think I was going to make it,” she spoke as she sat down.
“Why didn’t you say something? We could have stopped.”
“You told me to be quiet so you could think,” she replied.
I sighed as I picked up the menu.
“Listen, Zoey. We’re going to be spending a lot of time together during this trip, so I think it would be in both our best interests if we tried to get along.”
“I’m not the one with the problem, Mr. Grayson.” Her brow raised.
“For fuck sakes. Can you please just stop with your comments? I’m trying really hard here to be nice.”
“Then you’re going to have to try a little harder.”
I clenched my jaw, and before I could say anything, the waitress came to our table to take our order.
“What can I get you folks?” she asked.
“I’ll have the cobb salad with honey mustard dressing, please,” Zoey spoke.
“And for you, sir?”
“I’ll have the turkey club with fries.”
“Okie dokie. I’ll put that in for you.”
I stared at Zoey from across the table. I was going to say something in response to her last comment, but I decided not to. She didn’t know what the hell she was talking about.
“We should be getting to Lake Tahoe around six o’clock. We’ll find a hotel, grab some dinner, and scatter Nora’s ashes tomorrow morning. Then w
e’ll get on the road and head to the Grand Canyon, which is about a twelve-hour drive.”
“Okay.”
“I’m thinking about renting a private jet to fly us from the Grand Canyon to Seattle because it’s almost a nineteen-hour drive.”
“Nora specifically stated that we were to drive to these places except for Hawaii.”
“Do you really want to be stuck in a car for nineteen hours?” I asked.
“It doesn’t bother me. I’m sure it’s a beautiful drive. And again, Nora said no planes except to Hawaii.”
“Nora isn’t here anymore and she won’t know. The only thing that matters is that we scatter her ashes.”
“Trust me, she’ll know.” Her brow raised.
I sighed.
“Don’t start with that again, Zoey. Please. I’m in no mood.”
The waitress came with our food and set the plates down in front of us. Our lunch consisted of nothing but good food and silence. Regardless of what Zoey thought, I was renting a private jet to fly us to Seattle.
Chapter Twenty
Zoey
After we finished our lunch, we climbed into the SUV and got back on the road to Lake Tahoe. Carter pulled his phone from his pocket and contacted several private jet agencies that were unable to accommodate his request from the Grand Canyon to Seattle. But he did manage to rent a plane to get us to Hawaii.
“This is bullshit,” he shouted as he threw his phone down. “How can there not be one fucking plane available?”
I was silently smiling inside because I knew why. Nora didn’t want us flying to Seattle and she made sure it didn’t happen.
“The minute I get back to New York, I’m buying my own fucking plane.”
I sat there in silence and let him rant and rave.
“Aren’t you going to say anything?” he asked as he glanced over at me with his aviator sunglasses on.
“I’m sorry you couldn’t get a plane and I’m sorry you have to be stuck with me on this road trip. Once we scatter Nora’s ashes and get back to New York, you will never have to see me again, Mr. Grayson.”