I force a smile and swallow hard, trying to work up some spit. “Hey, guys.”
~
The problem with really good friends is that, when you fuck up and they drive five and a half hours to drag your drunk ass home, they bitch all the way back.
~
“Been a long time since you ran,” Beast says quietly. He’s in the back, leaning forward between our seats, and his fingers are playing over his collar, a nervous habit he rarely shows.
I wonder how much shit he’s going to get from Beauty for this.
“Sorry,” I say simply.
“That’s it? We fucking closed the Kingdom to bring your drunk ass back home and all you’re going to give us is ‘sorry’? Why aren’t you answering your phone? I called you yesterday.”
I shrug, because I tossed it somewhere between Rome and Chattanooga, tired of the constant buzz of messages from Scarlet. Apparently Hunter could talk her out of chasing me, but not out of blowing up my phone like it’s her goddamn job.
I lean my head back against the seat rest and close my eyes, blocking out the sun and my very worried friends.
“You guys were right,” I say eventually, and the low conversation they’re having about me without actually including me, stops. “They broke my heart.”
There’s a very long silence, and then, very gently, Charming says, “What happened, Wolf?”
“Do you know I’ve been sleeping with them for thirteen years?”
The truck swerves a little. “What the hell?”
I smile, my eyes still closed. “The first time I fucked him, I didn’t know he was her boyfriend. I just—he found me outside my dorm. Charm, you were away for the weekend. He and I smoked and drank a little, and it just happened. We clicked.”
I open my eyes and roll my head to look at them. Both are staring at me, Charm tossing quick glances out the windshield to make sure we weren’t going to die.
I go on. “You ever just click with someone? It’s easy and effortless and so fucking good, you can’t imagine walking away? Because that’s what it was, with them.” I can feel idiotic tears stinging in my eyes, and I look away. “It’s what it still is. You wanna know why I let them—her—close when I know they’ll break me? That’s why.”
We drive the rest of the way to Atlanta in silence, because as much as they want to ask, and I should probably explain—I have really good friends.
~
Charm takes me home, and if Celeste finds it strange that I’m camping out in the guest room with enough liquor to float a boat, she doesn’t say. She just kinda watches me when she thinks I won’t notice, and when I catch her at it, she flashes me a cheeky smirk and shoves food in my general direction, points me to the shower, and doesn’t ask why.
Charm had the good sense to fall for a girl that’s fucking smart, and I thank God for that often as the days slip by.
I feel like I’m waiting for something, but God knows what. I just know what I can’t have is killing me, and I am fucking pissed that they had the nerve to taunt me with it.
And then, three days after Charm dumps me in his guest bedroom.
Mal comes home.
~
He comes into the room silently and sits on the bed next to me, propped against the headboard while I work on a bottle of whiskey. I should probably say something to him, but all I can think is—what if he leaves now, too?
“Don’t be an idiot, baby brother,” Mal sighs, tugging me lightly until I’m leaning against him, my head on his shoulder.
Mal is the one who stuck. Mom walked away and Stan never gave a shit. Raven never cared and Zeke was gone before I even landed with them. Mal was, maybe, the only one around to care, but it doesn’t take away that he did, and he has been fiercely loyal to me through the years since then.
“You came home,” I say into is shoulder.
He nods. “You needed me.”
“What about Briar?”
I feel the shudder that goes through him, feel the way his grip tightens in my hair for a split second before he relaxes and pets it back.
“She’s waited this long. She’ll still be there when I’ve got you sorted out, Wolf.” There’s a beat and then he asks, “Wanna tell me about it?”
I shake my head.
“Wanna stay here and get drunk?”
I nod.
He laughs. “Promise me you’ll come join the land of the living tomorrow, and I’ll stay and drink with you.”
I consider the proposal for a long time, and eventually he murmurs, softer than he ever is, “You can’t hide here, Wolf, not from them. If you love them, it won’t work because you’ll go find them. And if you don’t, then there’s no point. So come on, let’s get drunk, and tomorrow we’ll both get on with our lives.”
“Without the ones we love?” I ask, my voice brittle.
He reaches for the whiskey. “Baby brother, I love you, but I’m not getting trashed because you got your heart broken.”
And without me having to ask, he’s told me everything I need to know about his trip home.
~
We get very drunk.
We’re drunk enough that Charming intervenes at one point, and instead of stopping us, we get him drunk, too.
Celeste watches from the doorway of the guest room, and I can see the collar Charm put on her, but with the way she's looking at us right now, I'm pretty sure that doesn't make any fucking sense, because that is one pissed off lady.
"You are going to regret this in the morning," she says, resigned as hell and I want to giggle into Beast's shoulder—when did Beast get here?—but I forget why.
~
Celeste was, it turns out, correct. I wake up with my head pounding and my mouth tastes like ass, but I catch a faint whiff of coffee in the air.
I crawl over Beast and stumble to the bathroom to piss before I wander downstairs. Charm is at the table, looking like someone hit him with a Mack truck, and Mal stands at the stove, cooking something that smells like scrambled eggs.
"Beast up yet?" he asks without turning around, and when I shake my head, he says, "Someone should wake him up. Charm?"
Charm mumbles a curse but stumbles to his feet and out of the room, leaving me with my half brother, closest family, and the man who extracted a promise from me last night that I really just want to ignore right now.
"You don't do any good to anyone like this," Mal says.
"Did Charm tell you?" I ask instead, squaring my shoulders.
"Your sordid history with Scarlet and Hunter? Yeah, he mentioned it."
If anything, Mal looks bored. I narrow my eyes. "You fucker. You already knew!"
He gives me a patient sort of look that speaks eloquently of my intelligence. "Yeah, dumbass. I knew."
I flush and sit in one of the chairs.
"You have plans for this afternoon?" Mal asks. I shake my head and he smiles tightly. "Great. When we get done here, we'll swing by your place, and then we need to go to the Kingdom."
My expression must turn questioning because his closes off and he directs his look over my shoulder, where I can hear Beast and Charm grumbling and shoving each other as they come in the room. Beast presses a quick hug to my back before he snatches the cup of coffee Mal hands to him and leans against his side companionably.
I'm glad that Beast hasn't pulled away from Mal since he started living with Beauty. My brother acts like he's cold and untouchable, but there's a lot of insecurity wrapped up in him, and he needs Beast a helluva a lot more than he likes to admit.
~
The club is quiet when we arrive. It's only ten a.m., and it's closed for another hour. Then, members will fill it with need and want, the steady pulse of desire, but for now, it's quiet, my footsteps unnaturally loud, and it feels like home.
"I brought someone back with me," Mal announces as we walk through the empty Floor, headed for the Hall. I slide a curious look at him and he flashes me a nervous smile. "But look, you can't be pissed, ok? I know what the hel
l I'm doing."
Well, that sounds promising.
He pushes open the door and the girl behind his desk looks up.
She's short, 5’2” tops, with pale skin that freckles in the summer, and black hair that is cut in a sleek line around her face. Her lips are twisted up in a mocking smile that I'm used to seeing on Mal's face.
It’s Raven.
He brought home Raven.
I throw a furious, confused look at him and he shrugs.
"She needed to get away from Dad."
She smiles at me, slow and sweet and red. "What is it, baby brother? Didn’t you miss me?"
~
Even though it hurts, I settle. I get used to life that doesn’t revolve around Scarlet and Hunter. I get used to a normal that doesn’t include them. It hurts but I knew it would.
I always knew they’d break me. I just never cared.
And even now, when I am raw and bleeding, I still can’t bring myself to regret any of it. Some happily ever afters aren’t meant for everyone.
Theirs was never meant for me.
Chapter 14.
“I’m glad you came,” Alice says, smiling at me from across the table. Charming has excused himself to take a phone call and I grin at his mother lazily. “I’ve been worried about you.”
“Aww, Mama. You don’t have to worry about me.”
“I do,” she says, frowning. “You act like nothing touches you, but I’ve seen you with Scarlet. I know you care about her, and I know you’re in pain right now.”
I swallow. For the past hour, I’ve managed to push her aside, push the want aside, and now it’s there, slapping me in the face unexpectedly—again.
I’m getting tired of this shit.
“Mama, she’s not mine. She never was. I’m not—I’m fine.”
“Wolf!”
My head jerks up and I meet Rosalie’s gaze, her sudden arrival bringing with it an aura of fierce anger in the little restaurant. I shoot a quick look at Mama, who has the good grace to look a little guilty, and swallow hard.
“Rosalie. I’m glad to see you’re out of the hospital.” I watch wearily as she approaches our table.
“Don’t you dare treat me like a stranger, little Wolf. What the hell are you doing?”
I shift in my chair. “Having lunch with a friend.”
“You are hurting them,” she says bluntly.
I glance at Mama. “Excuse me for a moment,” I say, and she smiles a little as I climb to my feet and lead Rosalie out of the bistro. I shoot her a glare. “Do you remember the whole Scarlet-is-dating-him thing? Engaged to him? I’m not hurting anyone.”
Rosalie snorts. “If you believe that, puppy, you don’t deserve them.”
I continue to glare at her, and she finally softens a little. “Charles. Why do you think my granddaughter has never married the man she is in love with?”
I swallow and look away.
She nods once. “You know the answer to that, so perhaps it’s time to decide what you want.”
“It doesn’t work, Rosalie. This—it won’t work.”
“No one but you three gets to decide that, but I have never seen her as happy as when she is with you, with both of you. The same is true for Hunter and you. Think about that, Wolf.”
~
Why do you call me that? It was the question I asked her, so damn long ago.
Because you’re like a prowling wolf with his pack, when you are with them. There was a smile that was a little too sharp and knowing and—God.
I should have known, back then, that Rosalie knew.
I should have known we were transparent as fuck.
~
I move through the club with a kind of effortless ease that I have to admit to myself I've missed. It feels strange and familiar, after so long with Hunter and Scarlet and hiding from the world in the office on weekends, to be here now.
There is still the familiar high of the club watching me as I strap a trembling blonde submissive to the St. Andrew's Cross and go to work. She's arching into it and moaning a little, these little hitches in her breath that hit me just right as I take my time with the switch, laying it out with careful precision, overlapping just enough to make her cry, high and panting. Her whole body is tense as I vary the tempo and pressure of the blows until she's crying silently, her ass arched out in pliant want, and I step close to her.
"You're doing so beautifully, pet," I murmur and she sobs, pressing back as much as the bonds will allow.
"You want me to take you somewhere private, don't you? Fill you up?"
She gasps and I laugh a little.
"No," I murmur. “I think you should come for me right now."
"Sir," she breathes out.
I bring the switch down again, against the crack of her ass, and snarl in her ear, "Come."
She whines in her throat and comes just like that, pinned to my cross with the entire club watching, and I swallow my satisfaction as I turn away.
There is nothing—nothing—quite like taking a sub apart while the whole world watches.
Unexpectedly, as I turn, my eyes collide with Hunter’s, and I freeze in place as his lips tip up in a smile that is small and just for me.
It feels, after the show I just put on, unspeakably intimate.
I should look away. I should get out of here and find a place to hole up where I don't have to deal with him, because I'm not ready for that, not yet.
Maybe I won't ever be ready for that.
Instead, I find myself moving toward him.
The entire club was watching me on that stage, watching as I took that sweet little sub to pieces and it didn't feel nearly as invasive as his stare now. I feel raw and exposed, and I want to run just as much as I want to preen under his gaze.
His hands catch my hips and drag me close to him, until we're flushed and the whole fucking club is watching when he kisses me.
It should bother me, because this isn't how it works.
Hunter is here with a girl who wears his collar. He isn't a Dom looking for someone new, and I don't do committed.
That's what the Kingdom knows.
But his arms are pulling me close, so damn tight that for a heartbeat, everything fades away and there's just us, just his lips on mine and his tongue fucking lazily into my mouth, licking over my lips and teeth and relearning me. There is only his hand in my hair holding me where he wants me and his hand on my ass like it belongs to him and the hot press of his cock against mine through the stupid dress pants he insists on wearing and my own leather ones.
It feels like coming home, to step into his arms.
It feels like breathing again, to kiss him.
It feels so goddamn wrong that it's an ache in my gut that makes me jerk away from him, and shake my head. I wipe my lips and he laughs at me.
The bastard actually laughs at me.
Then he grabs me by the wrist and pulls me through the club.
The Kingdom is mine, and I know it better than I know my house. I could walk through it blindfolded.
We all have the places we love. Mal likes the Floor, when you can drag him from the office. Charm finds peace in the Quiet Room and Beast reveals in the shadows of the Black Room.
But the pods—those are mine.
Hunter shoves me into one and I moan as he steps in behind me, pushing me with his weight and his sheer presence to press against Scarlet.
"Don't run," she whispers as she kisses me, as his hands stroke over me.
"Don't run," he murmurs.
I gasp something as Scarlet's hands drop to my waistband, fighting with the leather to free my cock.
"You aren't taking anything from us," she promises, "Not something we haven't given to you, a hundred times over the years. This—we—are yours, Wolf. We always have been."
She pulls back and stares at me, her eyes wide and desperate for me to believe. "I fell in love with you before you met Hunter, and he fell in love with you before you knew about me, and you—you've loved
us both all these years, haven't you?"
She's a cocky, confident little thing and I understand, suddenly, that we're not the ones holding the leash in this relationship. It's always been her.
I nod and she moans, drags me into a kiss, and Hunter presses into us, his hands steady and patient on my hips.
~
I was dumped with a strange family when I was fifteen and I was furious, and there I found a family in my half-brother and the men he brought into my life.
And then I found the place I belonged, with a man with patience in his eyes and girl with laughter in hers.
I found home.
Epilogue.
Scarlet groans as I bite a smile into her skin.
“Please,” she whines.
I pinch her nipple and shush her.
She rocks up on her tiptoes, trying to take more of my fingers as Hunter pushes deep into her, and her head falls back, landing on my shoulder where she pants and curses.
She’s not good at being quiet.
“Stop teasing, cachorro,” Hunter orders abruptly, and I smirk at him over her shoulder, slide my fingers free, and press in.
I can feel him moving in her, bumping against me as she fucks herself onto him and I slowly fill her from behind.
We don’t do this often. She’s small, so much smaller than us—I forget that when she’s spitting fire and sass around the house, in the bedroom and Boardroom.
But she takes it—takes him in her pretty pussy and me in the tight heat of her rear, and writhes against us both.
I catch Hunter’s eyes over her shoulder. “Not gonna last long,” I gasp and he nods.
It’s fast after that, fast and good and so familiar it’s like an ache in my gut, settling something in me that I didn’t know hurt.
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