by Kara Kelley
“Do you have a phone at least?”
“She’s got one,” Drew answered tightly. The big bald man nodded solemnly and stepped back.
Drew’s jaw was tense, but he didn’t say anything else, just followed Addi out into the Saturday afternoon sunshine. She was shocked over her own reaction, but his even more so. He was letting her take the lead—like he knew she was capable and not just pretending for once.
She paused as they got to his bike, released his hand, and texted Daniel to meet them at the camp. Drew handed her his spare helmet and got on the bike to hold it for her. She took a moment to kiss him full on the lips, while cameras flashed and recorded them. She took off her cardigan, wrapped it around her waist, hiked up her dress, and climbed on the bike.
“Shit! Put your helmet on now,” Drew said, shooting a dark look past her at the cameras.
“Is it true you’re the real artist, Mr. Fitzer? Or is it still Mr. Trigger?” Rebecca Snow shouted and Addi wrapped her arms around Drew’s waist.
“No comment.”
Rebecca pelted them with questions as Drew backed the bike out of its parking spot. His gut was tense beneath her arms and she wished she had the power to calm him like he calmed her.
“Is it because you murdered Officer Doug MacAfee when you were a member of the Skull Grinders Motorcycle Club?”
Addi swallowed hard. Murdered an officer? Skull Grinders?
“Is it because no one would buy art from a murderer?”
Addi pulled away from Drew’s sturdy body to spin and spear Rebecca with a cold look. She didn’t know if Rebecca’s accusations were true or not, but she knew Drew and he was no cold-blooded killer.
“Baby girl, tuck into me now!” His voice held panic she had never heard from him before, but she ignored his demand.
“Maybe it’s because fame-hungry vultures like you twist everything around and make a story out of nothing, ruining good people’s lives!”
“Are you implying the death of an officer of the law is nothing?”
“Goddamn it, Addi, don’t say another word.” He’d spoken through clenched teeth so she tightened her arms around him again and clenched her mouth shut. He started the motor and they rode off, leaving the reporter and her crew to run after them.
The ride wasn’t long enough, Addi decided as she climbed off. She enjoyed the escape of it, like when he dominated her. She wasn’t in control, and when he leaned to go around a corner, she had no choice but to lean with him—as if she was both a part of the bike and him. The first time she rode with him she fought it, but once she gave into it, she truly began to appreciate its power and that made her feel powerful, too.
She thought the camp was fenced completely, but there was a small hidden gate in the corner of the property that she hadn’t known existed. She assumed very few knew about it since it was a rough single rutted path that led them through the thick forest to the edge where the cliff house stood overlooking the lake.
He had taken the path slowly and told her to tuck in tight so she wouldn’t be whipped by branches. She hadn’t needed to be told twice, especially when her bare arms got scratched.
She enjoyed the sight of the rocky outcroppings and water when they broke through the thick forest, but once they turned toward the main camp her nerves had kicked up. It seemed easy to ignore the issues they were facing with the warmth of their bodies pressed together and the rumble of the bike so loud she couldn’t think, but that was about to end. She needed to know what was going on, but what if she couldn’t handle it?
When they were off the bike, she held her breath, watching his expression as he pulled off his helmet. She hadn’t known him long even including their summer together, but his handsome face had become so much to her. He was a hardened man to most, but with her, there were cracks. She released her breath noting the concern, anger, and worry on his face, but when he scrubbed a hand over it, it was gone.
After years of people-watching, attempting to understand them, she knew this man was afraid. Not the kind of fear she carried daily for all things risky, but fear of losing someone. Her.
She reached for him and he looked away, chewing the inside of his cheek.
“Babe, I think you need to read your uncle’s letter before I say anything. I don’t know how much Layla told everyone at the funeral, but I’ve got a pretty good guess and it’s going to require some damage control. I’ll tell you everything after, but it’s true. I am partially responsible for that cop’s death.” He looked down at the helmet he held in both of his hands now. “I know I don’t deserve you, no matter how much I’ve loved you all my life, but I want you to know if I could trade my life for that cop’s I would.” He looked her in the eye. “He should never have died.”
“You what?” She couldn’t believe what she’d just heard. He stepped forward, dropped the helmet with a thud into the dusty dirt and gravel and placed both hands on her face.
“Baby girl? Are you paying attention to me now?” His tone was stern. The one that gave her nervous tingles everywhere and throbbing in all her sexy places. The fear all gone from his features, he was the man she’d come to depend on—the man who took control.
“Yes,” she whispered in a breathy voice. Her stomach flipped and her heart kicked up its pace. All her worries and troubles paused. He calmed her, quieted her mind.
“I’m partially at fault for that cop dying. And I’ve loved you since we were nothing but screwed-up teens. Even when I broke your heart, it was for your own good, not because I didn’t love you. I’ve never stopped loving you—not once. There’s been no one in my heart but you all these years. You got me, babe?” His brow quirked up.
She swallowed audibly. “I got you, Daddy.”
His hands left her face and traveled down her arms until he held her hands. “And you said you trusted me, yeah?”
She nodded without hesitation. “I do, but I have so many questions. I can’t comprehend you being responsible for someone’s death, especially when you’re responsible for saving my life.” She looked away. “In more ways than one.” Fearing everything like she’d been doing her whole life was no way to live. When her eyes found him again, so sexy in his suit and tie, his face was patient and his smile gentle.
“Was it an accident?” she asked in a whisper.
“My part of it was, yes.”
“How?”
“He was shot in the chest.”
“And you pulled the trigger… by accident?”
He gathered a slow breath and released it before stepping forward to cup her cheek. “No, baby girl. My father did.”
She bit her trembling lip and let go of the breath she’d been holding, relief flooding her. His thumb stroked her face.
“Did you order him to be killed?”
His brow furrowed. “No, I was twelve, Addi.” More relief came.
“So…”
He stopped her by taking her chin between a thumb and forefinger. “Go read Uncle Ray’s letter…” He paused to look her from head to toe, a hungry glare replacing his stern one. He untied her cardigan and let it fall atop the helmet. “Before Daddy rips off that dress, spanks your ass for disobedience, and fucks you right here in front of the main office of the camp.”
The right side of her mouth hiked up and she gnawed the corner of her bottom lip. “What if I need that right now?” She did. She needed to feel consumed by him. Reassured by his firm physical touch. Owned by the strong dominant man that cared. For her.
“Babe, I need you to know everything before we make love again.” He looked toward the gravel road that led to the entrance of the camp. “Besides, your friends should be here soon.”
“You never said make love, Drew. You said fuck. I want to be fucked right here in the middle of the camp.”
His eyes shot back to hers and widened a moment before they hardened and pinned hers, making her stomach flip-flop.
“Baby girl, you’re trying Daddy’s patience again.” He took another step forward, but
she was the one that closed the gap completely when she launched herself at him.
He caught her despite the surprise on his face. She wrapped her legs around his waist, her dress hiking high, and before he could get a word out, she kissed him.
The kiss was urgent and wanton, and she fisted his hair as she plundered his mouth for once. She was in control. His hands held her ass, squeezing and kneading as he held her up and she thought she had him, but then he lowered her until her feet touched the ground and held her back at arms’ length.
“I need you to know everything, Addi.” His eyes pleaded with her. “Including what happened that day when we were sixteen and the Skull Grinders came for me.”
Her heart kicked up a notch. She didn’t want to think about that now. Not with so much going on, not on the day of her uncle’s funeral—not when she was starting to think that maybe there could be more than just right now between them. Not when she needed him and he needed her.
“No. Please not now. Not today. Please.”
He pressed his lips and his brows teepeed in… empathy? Regret? What? How could she read him when back then she thought she knew him better than she knew herself.
When he continued, her heart clenched. He was going to force this.
“If they knew how I felt about you, Ray, and this camp…” She glanced at him, hearing the vulnerability in his voice. He looked down and scrubbed his hand over the back of his neck. A look of pure anguish marred his features when he dropped his hand and looked back at her.
“They would have used both of you to punish me. I pushed you away to protect you. I never wanted to but I had to keep you safe—both of you. And you had to believe it.” He shook his head, anger cinching his brows together. “My dad always goes after the ones you love to hurt you.”
She nodded, but the weight of hurt and confusion was heavy in her gut. It made logical sense but there was so much more she didn’t understand. Why couldn’t he have told her once he was back with Uncle Ray? Did he think by then it was long out of her mind? Did he think his rejection hadn’t affected her and every relationship she’d had after?
She took another step back. “You’re right. I should read the letter.”
She turned and jogged, needing distance. Even though it wasn’t far, she was out of breath when she reached her cabin, mostly because of the panic attack building.
Inside, she shut and locked the door. The whole day had been too damn much and she couldn’t think straight with all the thoughts rushing around in her head like a room full of rubber balls bouncing off the walls.
She watched him leave on the bike through her window before she kicked off her high heels and sat on the bed, tucking her right foot underneath her. She grabbed her uncle’s letter and spent a few minutes just running her fingers along the edge of the envelope.
Finally tearing it open, she read…
My dearest Addianna,
You are my little girl. Never forget that. I may have moved on to another place, but I’m still with you. It doesn’t matter that you are my brother’s daughter. He didn’t have the capacity to love you the way you deserved, your mother didn’t either. She was always chasing her next adventure. I’m not sure how two selfish people ended up with such a giving child. You have more capacity to love and forgive than anyone I know.
I’m sorry they couldn’t be the parents you needed and I’m sorry I wasn’t closer. Just know I love you and am proud of you for everything you’ve accomplished despite the crappy upbringing you’ve had.
You need someone strong enough to put you first for once, and I think you probably know by now who that is. At least you will if my plan has worked out.
Drew is a good man, Addi. No matter what he’s done in the past (and I know it all). Hopefully he’ll explain all of that to you one day, and you’ll see things the way I do, but until he does, I just want you to trust me that he’s the best kind of man and he’ll love you like you deserve, if you let him. If you look at his, yes, his, paintings of you, you’ll see it in every brushstroke.
You’ll likely have to convince him he deserves your love too. And he does, Addi. He deserves you, just as you deserve him. He needs nurturing too, honey, and if anyone can convince him of that, it’s you.
As for the will, just know I gave you each partial ownership of the camp. Not only because I was playing cupid, but because you’re both my children. Maybe not by blood, but in my heart, which is the only place it matters to me. I want you both to be happy and I believe being together is the best possible way for that to happen, but I can’t force you two together any more than I have by using this camp. The rest is up to you.
The other reason is because I’m hoping you two can bring Tonalonka back to life. That was always my dream. You know your aunt, God rest her soul, was my everything and it killed me when she died with my unborn son. I made this camp for them. I want it to live on through you and Drew in its basic original purpose—helping kids—but if you can’t do that I have offered it up to a company that can. The lawyer will explain everything.
Anyway, sweetheart, just remember I love you and I want you to be happy.
Uncle Ray xo
Any doubts she had about Drew fell away with the tears that ran down her cheeks and she couldn’t wait to be in his arms again.
Chapter Fourteen
Drew
He didn’t chase her when she ran. She needed to process, needed to read her uncle’s letter and he’d let her.
Drew went the back way by the cliffs, the same way they came into the camp, to avoid the media and rode out of town to the spot where he and Addi had made love on his Harley. He sat under the same tree, this time in an expensive suit, and pulled his sketchbook out. She needed time and he’d give it to her even though they had little. The Skull Grinders would know where he was soon. As soon as Rebecca’s story broke, they’d come for him. He’d need to lure them away from Addi and the camp. And then he’d convince them that he’d paid the price for leaving by taking full responsibility for the murders they’d committed, keeping them out of jail. And that he’d never be the kind of person that could run a one-percenter club.
Drew shook off the thoughts of his father, Mauler, and Dingo, and started sketching Addi’s face, the way he saw her, powerfully sexy and strong. Not the woman she saw herself as. He knew she saw herself as weak and only playing the part of competent.
She was beautiful and pure of heart, but what would this truth do to her? Would she hate him, or worse, would she compromise herself to be with him? Would she convince herself that it was worth the risk to be with him?
His portrait complete, he looked at the sun hanging low in the sky. It was time to head back. The time he’d spent working had settled his mind. He was ready to face his past and the consequences of his time with Addi.
* * *
There were still a few cameramen and reporters hanging out by the front entrance, but only the diligent. Most had given up for the day. They perked up when his bike rumbled past, some rushing for their cars, but he’d already tucked into the entrance by the cliff house and killed the engine before they drove by.
He left the bike, needing the walk, and made the half-hour trek to his studio. His heart pounded when he saw Addi on the cliff. First, because she’d taken a dive from that cliff years ago and second, because with her hair whipping around in the wind and her dress fitting flush against her curves, she looked stunning and haunting—it spoke to his artistic side, just as the danger called to his protective side. His hands itched to paint her, but also to turn her across his knee for standing too close to the edge.
Paper fluttered in her hands, which she struggled to fold neatly, before turning back to the house. At the sight of him, her mouth widened enthusiastically.
Her smile was contagious and putting a firm look on his face was harder than he thought. He headed for her, but once again, she ran to him, jumping into his arms carelessly, before he got to her. He spun her around, overjoyed she didn’t hate h
im, even though that would have been easier.
“I love you, Mr. Biker.” Her mouth crashed into his, mashing their teeth together ungracefully and he laughed into her mouth.
“I love you too, now tell me why you’re out here in the wind, dangerously close to the edge of that cliff, young lady? And how come you’re not back at your cabin?”
“I needed you to know something. I figured you’d come back this way.”
“Okay.” His eyes narrowed and he set her back on her feet.
“No matter what your past holds, no matter how guilty you feel, I love you and I’ll always love you. You don’t even have to tell me what’s going on, because I trust you.” Her eyes tilted in a flirtatious way. “And if by chance you want to spank and fuck me, my friends are busy unpacking in the cabin next to mine.”
His chest fluttered and his gut sank simultaneously. Now that he had her, he couldn’t bear to lose her. He couldn’t help but picture a life with her, but she deserved better than him. Way better. Some normal guy not running from his past, someone with a nice family that could become hers too.
“Come on,” he said and grabbed her hand. “I’ve got something to show you.”
“I hope it’s your…”
He covered her mouth and his brow shot up. “Baby girl,” he warned in his deep timbre. She gave him a toothy grin when his hand left her mouth to find and swat her plump, sexy ass.
He led her inside to the bedroom with the locked door and took his keys from his pocket. Unlocking it, he pushed the door open and flipped the lights on. The windows in the room had blackout blinds and the paintings on the walls were hung not as art should be, but lined up in a sequence of sorts. Each with its own dramatic lighting to show the shadows of evil that encompassed him when he saw them.
He watched her as she went to the first. The only other thing in the room was a desk with newspaper article clippings piled on top and notes about the Grinders, their whereabouts and activities.