I spend the rest of the morning trying to figure out what to wear, and I pack that before I leave for the office. Boone created a position for me, and so far, I like it. I coordinate all shipping and receiving for the entire chain―logistics, they call it―but he also comes to me if he’s got a legal question that he doesn’t really think he needs his attorneys to handle. Quick and easy, and he’s already paying me. Plus I don’t mind. It’s good to be able to exercise that part of my brain again.
I’ve been in the office for ten minutes when he shows up at my door. “Hey, brother! How’s it hanging?”
I almost answer, Itchy as hell! but I decide that might be a mistake. “Good, good. Everything going as you like?”
“Yep. Getting ready for the grand opening of the Santa Fe store. Would you like to go with me?”
“Yes! I’d love to go with you! When?”
“Three weeks from yesterday. I’m chartering a plane, so it’ll be an easy trip.”
“Sounds good. I’ll be looking forward to it.”
“Great.” He stands there for a few seconds and I can see he wants to say something. “Brandt,” he finally begins, and I wait. “Would you consider coming to the club with Melina and me again? I mean, not to scene with us, of course. You know, just to look around and see if you’d like it.”
“I’ll think about it,” I tell him. I know if I say that, he’ll think I’m considering it and won’t mention it again. A firm no will get me a pointed nagging. A yes will get me an enthusiastic nagging to set a date. This will work best.
“Good. I mean, I think you need to get out and meet some people, get into the swing of things, and this is as good an opportunity as any, don’t you think?”
“I suppose so. I’ll think about it,” I repeat, hoping he’ll drop it.
“Thanks. It would mean a lot to me.” He lingers a bit longer, then says, “Well, I’ll let you get back to work.”
“Okay. Love you, brother,” I call out to him as he walks away.
But he stops, pivots, and walks back. “I love you too, Brandt. You have no idea how glad I am that you’re out here with us, that I could offer you a job, that you could get a new start. You sure as hell deserve better than you’ve gotten.”
“Thanks,” I say, and I want to stand and hug him, but I let the moment pass.
“You’re welcome. Gotta go hustle up some clothing suppliers. See you after lunch.” With that, he disappears.
It feels good to be where I’m wanted. Know what will feel better?
This evening. It won’t be better―it’ll be great.
* * *
Before I leave the office, I text Danielle. Same room?
Yes. Reserved with Brian. See you then.
By the time I get to the club, it’s five before eight. The door opens at two minutes after and Danielle steps in. “Whew. Traffic was a bitch. How are you this evening, submissive?”
“I’m quite well, mistress.”
“Good. From this point forward, if you beat me here, you’re to undress and kneel by the side of the bed, knees shoulder width apart and hands resting loosely on top of your thighs, palms up. And head down when I walk through the door.”
“Yes, mistress. I’m sorry,” I say, embarrassed that I didn’t know to do that.
“No. It’s quite all right. You had no idea. What’s that?”
I smile. “A cooler. I brought drinks for us, seeing as how I don’t really want to go out to the bar. Water and a few sodas.” My gaze drops with the heat in my cheeks. “I put in a couple of those cherry colas you were drinking last night.”
Her eyes are soft when I look up and catch her gaze. “That was very thoughtful of you, submissive. I appreciate that.”
“You’re very welcome, mistress. I want to provide for your comfort.” Before I get to speak another word, she steps up to me and plants a kiss on my lips. I can’t help it―I’m smiling even as our lips are pressed together.
She leans back a little and grins at me. “You’re going to make somebody an excellent submissive, Brandt. You’re a thoughtful, considerate gentleman. There aren’t very many of those left these days.”
“Thank you, mistress. Should I undress and kneel now?”
“Yes. Please do so. I’m sorry I was a bit late.”
“Mistress, people’s watches can be set ten minutes apart. That shouldn’t be an issue,” I say as I undress.
“Do not tell me what should and shouldn’t be an issue.” Uh-oh. You keep stepping in it, my brain nags. “But thank you for trying to make me feel better about it. I do appreciate that.”
“I think what I was trying to say is I don’t mind waiting for you at all, mistress. It’s my pleasure,” I say as I’m dragging my underwear down to my ankles.
“You really are a gentleman, submissive. I like it. I’ll take that into account and try not to be irritated or offended by some of the things you say. Just as it’s going to take you a bit to change ‘ma’am’ to ‘mistress,’ it will take me a bit to get used to having a submissive who’s so gentile and polite.”
“Thank you, mistress. My mother would be happy to hear that!” I say with a laugh, then drop to my knees and arrange myself into the pose she requested.
“I bet she would.” Then I hear her whisper, “Oh, my.”
“Mistress?”
“Your manscaping. Your cock and balls look …” I’m terrified of what she’s about to say. Then I breathe a sigh of relief when she finished the sentence with, “… regal.”
“Wow. Thank you, mistress.” I can’t help but blush. My genitals are regal. That’s one I never thought I’d hear. “I hoped you’d be pleased.”
“Very. Tonight we’ll see how you respond to pain. Some submissives need it. Some don’t like it―they only need to be submissive, and that’s quite all right. As for myself, I’m somewhat of a sadist, but that’s not totally necessary for me to be pleased. Some submissives get off on humiliation. Tell me, were you ever teased as a child?”
I have to think about that for a while. “As a child? No, I don’t think so. As a teenager? Yes. Quite a bit, mostly because I wouldn’t sleep around or drink or do drugs with the other kids. That wasn’t my thing. I took a lot of grief for that.”
“Were you ever ridiculed about your appearance in any way?”
“If anything, I attracted all the wrong people because I was decent-looking.”
“Brandt, you’re more than decent looking,” she says, her voice husky and a chuckle breaking from her lips.
“Sometimes that’s not good. It causes people to be attracted to you for all the wrong reasons. Girls believed I’d be good for a roll in the hay. They really weren’t interested in my personality or getting to know me.”
“Like the girl with huge boobs on the cheerleading squad,” she says.
“Exactly. And when I wouldn’t sleep with them, it caused all kinds of trouble. The rumors went around that I was gay, that I had some kind of weird deformity that I didn’t want them to see, all kinds of stupid shit. I wound up spending most of my time by myself, just reading or going to bible study. I didn’t want to be around the kids my age, so I spent a lot of time with adults. But for the most part, I just didn’t fit in, not like my brothers.”
She nods. “Then my estimation would be that, based on what you’ve told me and the fact that you’re pretty in touch with yourself emotionally, I’d say humiliation isn’t for you. I also have this feeling that you’d be uncomfortable having sex with a man.”
“Very.”
“So you wouldn’t consider yourself even remotely bisexual?”
“No, mistress. I wouldn’t.”
“What about a threesome with two women?”
“I’ve never given that any thought. I’m not sure.”
“Then we might want to explore that. What about a threesome with a woman and a man, given you and the man had no sexual interaction?”
I shrug. “I’m not sure about that either.”
“We mi
ght want to explore that too. Anything in particular that gets you off, anything that might be seen as unusual?”
This is your chance, dumbass. Don’t screw it up, I tell myself. “Well, there’s fur.” I’ve always loved the feel of real fur against my skin.
“You mean like pubic hair?”
I shake my head. “No. I mean like fur. Like mink, fox, things like that.”
“Oh! I see. Okay. Anything else?”
“Sex outdoors.”
She grins. “Yeah? That could be fun.”
“Our whole family has always been into outdoor stuff. I mean―”
“Boone’s company. That’s right!”
I nod. “Yeah. We love it. I’ve always fantasized about sex out in a field, or by the river, or deep in the woods in a tent with no light except a lantern. Just the sounds of crickets, owls, maybe bullfrogs.”
“That really does get you cranked up, I see,” she says and points. I look down to find my regalness at half mast. “We’ll definitely explore that.”
“Thank you, mistress. That would be great.”
“You’re quite welcome. Since it doesn’t appear you’ve discussed this much with your brothers, you need to understand … The submissive has all the power in the exchange, Brandt. You have the ability to safeword and stop all play. By the way, if ever you do that and the Dominatrix does not stop, never play with that person again. Ever. But it’s true. You hold the power in your hands. Yes, you’re here to serve me, but ultimately I’m here to provide satisfaction and a positive experience for you. If I do that, it’s beneficial to me, so it’s in my best interest to satisfy you. Does that make sense?”
“Yes. Thank you, mistress.”
“You’re welcome. Now let’s get some play in. We’ll get all this ironed out eventually. It’ll just take time. Then, when you go to play with another Dominatrix, I’ll brief them first unless you bypass me. Hopefully, by that time you’ll know enough about yourself to be able to do it yourself, but I can help in the beginning. Now, I want you to lean back and brace yourself by grasping your ankles.” Takes me a second but I figure out what she’s talking about. “Very good.” She rummages around in a bag she’s brought with her and when she steps back to me, I don’t realize what she’s holding. “Safewords are still in play. Hold still.”
I watch, terrified, as she comes at one of my nipples with a plastic clothes pin, but I’m curious too. It takes me about a nanosecond to go from curious to gasping. “Oh, holy shit!”
“Hurts. Does it hurt, or does it hurt good?”
“Hurts!” I almost yell.
“Stop! Think, Brandt. Give it time to soak in. Does it hurt, or does it hurt good?”
I can’t think. My mind is numb. “Hurts. Just hurts.”
“Color?”
“Reddish yellow. Oh, god,” I moan.
“Okay. Scratch that.” I howl when she removes it. “Let me try something else.” Turning from me, she rattles around in that bag again and comes back with something that looks a lot like a chip clip. “Let’s try this.”
I wait, terrified once again, as she clips it to my left nipple. But this time, oddly, it doesn’t hurt like before. Oh, yeah, it’s painful, but not unbearably, and a sensation of warmth floods my crotch. “Oh, god,” I murmur.
“Hurts or hurts good?”
“Ummm, hurts good. I kinda like it.”
There’s a smile and a knowing nod. “Yeah. I can see that. Let’s put the other one on and see what happens.” When she clips the second one on, I feel my cock stiffen a little more. “That’s the response I was looking for,” she says with a chuckle. “Very nice. Now let’s make you ache, shall we?”
I’m not sure what she means until she stretches the ring out and slips it down over my cock, straight to the base. “Is it supposed to hurt?”
“Not initially, but it will, trust me. Actually, let’s take it another step.” She stretches it and takes it off, then stretches it between her fingers and puts it back on. But this time, she doesn’t just put it over my cock. She catches my balls with it too, and when she turns loose, the pain is immediate. Not horrible, but it’s there. “How’s that?”
“Oh, god. Yeah. That’s pretty achy. Very,” I say as I feel myself start to harden even more. “Oh, wow. Yeah. Hurts.” I’d call it more like a throb.
“It’s going to hurt more as you get harder. And it won’t let you come as easily, so that’ll be even more uncomfortable.”
Holy hell. I know nothing about this stuff, and it’s a little scary. “That won’t cut off my circulation?”
“Brandt? You either trust me or you don’t. Which is it?” I look down and see my dick is even more engorged than before. “Submissive, you’re not answering me. Do you trust me?”
“I …” If I say no, that will be it. She won’t want to work with me. But if I say yes, this is going to hurt like hell. But will it do any real damage? I look up at Danielle’s face and I realize she would never do anything that would permanently injure me. “I do. I’m just a little scared.”
“That’s understandable, but if you don’t trust me, we can’t work together.”
“I’m sorry. Can we go a little slower?”
She stands there and thinks before she removes the cock ring and I almost scream. Holy hell. I wasn’t prepared for that. Then she points at the bed. “Sit down.” What the hell is she about to say to me? I sit down and wait, not knowing how this is going to go. I may be about to lose the only Dominatrix I’ve ever known. Standing there in front of me, she takes the clips off my nipples, puts them to the side, and sits down beside me. “Okay. Let’s talk about this. What is it you want from a D/s relationship, Brandt? Because I’m trying to work with you and you’re fighting me at every turn.”
“I …” That makes me stop and think. What do I want? “I guess I’m not even sure what’s possible, or what a Dominatrix would want from me.”
“Okay, let’s parse this out.” Danielle turns with her knee up on the bed, her foot dangling off the edge, and takes my hands. “First of all, how many people are in a D/s relationship?”
“What do you mean?”
“How many people are in a D/s relationship? The bare minimum?”
“Two.”
“Right. And when I asked you about your sexual history, you told me you have done virtually nothing except plain old missionary-position sex. Is that right?” I can feel my face burning as I nod. “Use words.”
“Yes, mistress.”
“So first of all, you’re not the only person in the relationship. There’s someone else.”
“Yes.” I’m not sure where she’s going with this.
“And, by your own admission, that person will probably have a far richer and more varied sexual background than you do, correct?”
“Yes.”
“And you say you want a D/s relationship, and yet you’re afraid of everything they try to get you to experience because you haven’t experienced it before.”
Uh-oh. Now I see where she’s going with this. “Um …”
“So let’s figure this out. How do you expect a D/s relationship to work if the only things you’ll be doing are things you want to do?”
“Well, um, but …”
“And you don’t plan to go any farther with your own sexual exploration than you already have because everything’s scary?” I don’t know what to say. “Is that about right?” The shame I feel is overwhelming. I’ve been wasting this woman’s time because I’m never going to be able to do this. I’m sitting here, my face burning, when she says, “Brandt, look at me.” When I lift my head and let my gaze rise to meet hers, she’s smiling. “Honey, it’s natural for you to be scared. This is new territory for you. But a Dominant’s whole purpose is to push their submissive’s boundaries for the purpose of taking their satisfaction and pleasure higher. And in order to be satisfied ourselves, sometimes we inflict pain. I’m a sadist. I know that about myself. And that gets me off. But I would never do anything to
you that would permanently injure you, and if I did something and saw that it hurt your ability to experience sexual gratification instead of help it, I wouldn’t do it again. I don’t know any real Dominatrix who would. Yeah, there are posers out there, but you won’t find those here, and I would never introduce you to anybody who’d be that way. This all comes down to trust. Do you trust me?”
I shrug before I say, “I want to, but I don’t know you well enough to trust you, I suppose.”
There’s a look on her face, one I can’t read, and we sit there for a couple of minutes in silence. I’m so shocked that I almost fall off the side of the bed when she says, “You know, you’re right. I don’t know why I’m so surprised that you don’t trust me. You don’t really know me. You’ve come from a situation where you have relationships before you have sex, and I’m asking you to have sex with someone you barely know and trust her to do all kinds of things to you. I’m thinking how unfair it is of you to more or less refuse everything I tell you to do, and it’s really pretty unfair of me to expect you to just follow my lead willy-nilly without questioning it.”
Now I’m totally at a loss for anything to say, so I mumble, “I’m just trying to be honest. I’m sorry I’ve wasted your time.”
“Brandt, one of the most important parts of a D/s relationship is to learn about the other person. I’m charged with teaching you how to be a good submissive, but you’re actually teaching me how to be a decent human being. I’ve gotten so wrapped up in the lifestyle that I’ve forgotten this is about relationships, not acts. I mean, even if the Dominant and submissive aren’t in a relationship per se, there’s an interpersonal give and take there that’s very important. I neglected to remember that, and I’m sorry. Just because you don’t have the sexual background I have, it doesn’t make you wrong. It just makes you different. I was trying to mold you to what I want, but I didn’t take into consideration who you are. That won’t happen again.” I’m shocked when she presses a finger under my chin, tips my head up, and presses her lips to mine, and all kinds of things start happening in my body. When she pulls away, she smiles. “Can I tell you something? Promise you won’t freak out?”
Blissfully Hers: Bliss Series, Book Seven Page 4