I guess she gets tired of waiting. “Well? Spit it out, submissive.”
It’s taking an enormous amount of courage for me to work up what I want to say and actually get it out. “Um, I … I help cook dinner, help clean up, and then I …” I can’t say it.
“Brandt?” She curls closer and kisses my collarbone. “It’s okay. Please? I want to hear it.”
“Then I … I sit on a cushion on the floor at my Mistress’s feet and she strokes my hair. And I sit like that all evening, and the next evening, and the next, and the next. And I wear a collar. I wear it proudly.” I’m working hard to keep the tears from coursing down my cheeks, and it’s excruciating. “That’s all I really want. Really. My whole life, right there. To know where I belong and that somebody honors who I really am. It’s not complicated. It’s really simple. That’s it. That’s all.”
Her lips seek out mine and in seconds we’re tangled together, grinding against each other, our kisses growing more passionate, our hands everywhere. It’s the first time I’ve allowed myself to not only voice that dream, but to think about it becoming reality. If that’s going to happen, I hope it’s with her. The whisper brings me back to myself. “Panther?”
“Yes, Mistress?”
“I need you inside me.”
“I need to be inside you, Mistress.”
She moves in, nips my lower lip, and whispers, “Call me baby, Brandt. Please?”
This is really happening. I’m not dreaming it―it’s real. The kiss I press into her is hard and unyielding, hungry and deep, and when I let her up for air, I whisper, “God, Dani, I want you. I want you so bad, baby. Every little bit of you.” Then I begin my descent, down her neck, my lips trailing down her chest, worshipping first one tightly-knurled nipple and then the other with my teeth in brief nips that leave her panting, traveling down the center of her belly, stopping for a second at her navel to blow into it, then on down, my legs curled up against the tucked-in sheet and blanket at the foot of the bed.
Seconds later, my face is buried in her slit, taking in her delicate scent as my tongue explores her with a slow, determined teasing of every delectable morsel at the apex of her thighs. Jesus, she’s sweet and hot, and the way she yanks my hair when I suck her clit into my lips makes my cock throb. “Baby, you’re so wet,” I whisper against her slit.
“For you, babe. I want your hardness in me.”
“Show me how much you want me, baby. Come for me.”
My tongue only makes it around that hard little nub three more times before she convulses and cries out. I wonder if Caleb can hear, and then I decide if he can, so what? We know that’s a possibility, and it doesn’t seem to bother her, so it shouldn’t bother me. I can still hear the music coming from his room, and we’re not making that much noise, so I just keep going, waiting until she struggles a little too desperately. I don’t want her screaming, but panting and whimpering, yeah―that’s great. “Brandt? Babe? Fuck me, please? Oh, god, I need it so bad,” she whines, her fingers still curled into my hair.
That’s my cue, so I crawl back up and bury my hardness in her. God, she’s soaked and slick. Every stroke takes me closer and deeper, and I want to lose myself in her. She’s my new drug of choice, my craving. My fingers want to tweak her nipples, my lips want to latch onto hers and never let go, and when I cup her ass in my hands and pull her pelvis into mine, I whisper, “Am I enough, baby? Hard enough? Big enough?”
“God, Panther, you’re perfect. Absolutely, positively perfect.” That’s the moment we find our rhythm, bodies moving together, syncing seamlessly in a dance that takes us higher and higher.
“Babe, I can’t hold back anymore. I’ve got to … Oh, hell yeah.” I feel that molten spurt of cum leave me and fill her, and she grinds against me and shakes. Heaven opens. Angels sing. My whole body burns with the knowledge that I’ve satisfied her. She’s pleased. She wants me.
I get slapped in the face with a question that takes me by surprise: Does she love me? I have no idea. She hasn’t said so, but I know what my answer would be if I were asked the same.
Yes. I love her. I’ve fallen in love with her, with her mind and her body, but mostly with her heart, the heart that encourages me to be the me I need to be, not the me everyone else wants to see. Dani sees me. She sees me for who I am, who I need to be, who I want to be. She doesn’t ask me to be someone I’m not. In my mind and my life, that’s huge. That’s everything.
We lie there, our bodies still linked, arms wrapped tightly around each other, panting. I want to hold her until I draw my last breath, and if we fuck like this very often, my last breath could be just around the corner. I think she’s trying to kill me, but I’ll die happy. “You okay, baby?”
“Um-hmmm,” she murmurs against my chest. “You?”
“Never better.” My lips find the part in her hair and give it a little peck. “Being here with you, it’s … it’s like a dream come true.”
“I feel the same way. I think we belong together, my Panther. You have no idea how important you are to me.”
No. I don’t. But I definitely want to find out.
Chapter Six
“Brandt? Hey, babe. Wake up.” When I pry an eye open, I can see the clock. It’s seven forty-five. Then I remember I’m in Dani’s bed.
“Yeah, okay. I’m awake. Um, good morning, I think,” I mumble, barely able to form words.
There’s a chuckle and the sound of something hard making contact with the top of the night stand. “Here’s some coffee. I’ve got to get going. Keys in your pants pocket?” I nod against the pillow. “I’ve got to move your car so I can get mine out. There’s a key on the counter. Lock up when you leave and keep the key.”
“Okay.”
“Don’t be late for work. I don’t want Boone mad at me.” She kisses me on the forehead, but I grab her and pull her back down onto the bed. “Brandt! Stop it!” she barks, laughing.
I’m almost whining when I say, “I don’t want you to go.”
“I have to go. Don’t make me late. I don’t want the principal mad at you!” This time, she wrestles out of my grasp and steps across the room to the door. “Drink your coffee and get dressed. I’ll talk to you after school. And Brandt?”
“Yeah?”
“Waking up with you this morning is the happiest I’ve been in a long, long time.” Before I can respond, she closes the door behind her and she’s gone.
It takes me about thirty minutes to get my eyes fully open, find all my clothes and drag them on, and make some sense out of my hair, all while sipping on the coffee, its heat and fragrance helping almost as much as the caffeine. I’m out the door by seven fifty-five and headed to the house. Based on what I saw, I’m guessing Caleb’s still in bed. At least he’ll have a cupcake for breakfast, courtesy of good ol’ Panther.
And I’m smiling. I’m smiling as I drive. I’m still smiling when I step into the apartment. I smile through my whole shower, smile as I dig around in the closet until I find something to wear, and smile all the way to the office. When I walk in, Boone’s behind his desk and on the phone, so I just grab another cup of coffee and head to my own little cubbyhole.
Ten minutes later, a presence fills my doorway and I look up to see the youngest Lawson brother grinning at me. “Good morning! You’re extremely chipper this morning.”
“Yeah, well, what can I say? Some of my family members had very good news this weekend.”
He studies me for a minute and I’m terrified he’ll see something I don’t want him to see. My fears come to life when he says, “If I didn’t know better, I’d say you got laid last night.”
“What on earth would make you think that?” I ask, hoping I’m a better liar than I used to be.
“So have you and Dani decided to be friends with benefits, or is this beautiful you spent the night with?”
“Did it ever occur to you that you might be wrong?” I ask, trying hard not to look at him.
“Yeah. But I’m not. What’
s the big secret, Brandt? You can talk to me about anything. You know that.”
“There’s nothing to talk about.” What a bunch of shit that is.
“Okay. Well, if you change your mind, you know where to find me. And Sylvestri called. Those duck calls are going to be here a week early. Can you believe it? I’m pretty damn happy about that. In plenty of time for our fall event. And I was afraid they’d be late. It’s going to be a good week―I can just feel it,” he says, a goofy smile stretching across his face. “My duck calls are going to be here early, my oldest brother’s getting laid, and I knocked up my new wife. Not a good week―a great week.” Thank god he disappears with that pronouncement. I don’t think I can take one more minute of his grilling. I know how he got started in this business―sheer tenacity. He just won’t take no for an answer. Good for business, bad for me.
The rest of the day just drags. No matter what I try to do, Dani invades my thoughts. Her scent, the warmth of her skin, that lazy, sex-laden smile on her face after I’ve fucked her, they’re all ever-present in my mind. At around two o’clock I get a text: Club tonight?
Sure. What time?
The three little dots wave on my screen before the answer pops up. Eight?
Sounds good. Want to grab dinner before?
More dots and then her reply: Can’t. I’ll explain later.
Well, that’s good enough for me. Okay. Eight it is. See you then.
All I get is a thumbs-up. That’s weird, but I try not to think about it. Of course, that makes me think about it more, which leads to more trying not to think about it, which … well, it’s a vicious cycle. I do okay until about four, and then I can barely stand it. At four thirty, I feel like my head is going to explode and I can’t concentrate on anything. I’m just watching the clock.
Then my walkie squawks to life. “Brandt, I need an ETA on that truck out of Albuquerque, the one carrying the footwear.”
“Due to be there this afternoon.”
“It’s past time for it to be there. Matter of fact, they’ve already closed receiving. Can you track it down?” Boone asks.
“No problem. Let me get on it.” Shit. I wanted to leave. Now I’m looking for a missing shipment.
Thirty minutes later I’ve located the truck, nursing a blown radiator hose in Memphis. His dispatcher knew where he was, but they didn’t bother to notify the manufacturer, who could’ve notified us in turn. The manufacturer is pissed and Boone’s not happy either. And I’m tasked with negotiating a reduction in the shipping rate tomorrow because the shipment was late. That’ll be fun.
It’s six by the time I get away. I grab a sandwich at a fast food deli and eat it at the kitchen table in the apartment before I shower quickly and grab my fetwear. By the time I park out back and sneak in through the rear entrance, it’s five before eight and I’m sure she’s already there.
But she’s not, so I peek around the hallway entrance to see if I can catch Brian’s eye, but I can’t. He’s behind the bar, talking to somebody who’s sitting on a stool with a drink in their hand, and no amount of silently willing him to look my way gets his attention. I have no idea which room to use, so I just pick one and stand right inside the doorway. It’s the room we’re usually in, and I’m hoping that’s where I’m supposed to be.
Five minutes pass, and then ten. I’m starting to get worried at fifteen after when I hear the back door open and in seconds, Dani comes into view.
“Hey, Mistress! I was … Holy shit, Dani! What the hell?” Her left eye is black, her cheek abraded, and the outer corner of her eyeball is blood red. And she looks like she’s been crying. “Babe, you okay? What happened?” I almost scream.
She drags herself across the room and plops down on the bed, so I slam the door and take a seat beside her. When I do, she sags against me and I wrap an arm around her shoulders. “There’s a kid in my third period class. Big boy. I gave a test. He only bothered to answer three questions, and he got one of those wrong. I passed the tests out with the grades. When he saw his, he went into a rage and attacked me. It took two of the other boys to pull him off me.”
“Oh, baby! No! Did you go to the hospital?” I can’t believe my eyes. Her face is a mess. What if she has some brain damage? A concussion? “Are you sure you’re okay?”
Her voice is tortured and slow, so I know it’s bound to hurt. “Yeah. They checked me out at the hospital. I’m sorry I’m late. I had to go to the police station and make a report.”
“No. Don’t apologize. Why didn’t you call me? I would’ve gone with you. And you shouldn’t be driving. You should go home and try to rest.”
“I can’t.” She lets out a long, ragged sigh. “Hazel’s there, and there’s no rest when Hazel’s around, so I paid a sitter to come and stay with them. I’m better off here.”
“Why don’t we just go to my place? It’s quiet.”
“I wanted to get some play in. I mean, I’d really like to …” She’s silent for a full two seconds and then I feel her quake with a sob.
“Okay. That’s it. We’re going to my place. If you want to drive, fine, but I’m following you. You can stay with me as long as you want. Is Hazel spending the night?” She shakes her head slowly. “Then I can take you home later, or you can just stay. Doesn’t matter.”
“You realize you’re not supposed to be telling your mistress what to do, right?” she asks, still sniffling.
I smooth a strand of hair back off her face and slip it behind her ear. “I’m not. Part of my duty to you is to take care of your needs, and right now, I think you’re probably so rattled that you don’t really know what you need. Am I right?” Her sobs fill the room as she falls apart in my arms. “Honey, it’ll all be okay,” I murmur into her ear as she cries, shoulders quaking. “Come on. Let’s go to the apartment and relax, okay?”
“I need a drink!” she wails.
“I’ve got alcohol. I’m sure we can find something to mix it with. Come on, Mistress. Let’s go.” By the time I get her out the club’s back door, I realize she has no business driving. “We’re taking my car and we’ll come back for yours tomorrow. You’re staying home from school tomorrow, right?” She nods, still weeping. “I can bring you to get it before I go to the office. It’s not a big deal. But you shouldn’t be driving.”
After I get her all settled in the passenger’s seat and strapped in, I slip behind the steering wheel and take off. She’s curled against the passenger door, wracked with sobs, and I don’t know what to do to make things better. One thing’s for sure―I will be making certain she’s going to be safe from now on. “So I guess he’s not coming back to school, right?”
“He’s going to juvie. And I didn’t want that for him, but he’s dangerous.” She’s quiet for a few seconds before she says, “Brandt?”
“Yeah, Mistress?”
“I’ve always felt safe in my classroom. It was my home away from home. What if this happens again? What if I’m not really safe?” I can hear the fear in her voice, and I hate it. I hate that kid for putting it there, and I hate that I can’t be there to protect her. Even worse, I hate that I can’t guarantee it won’t happen again.
“Sweetie, the world is an unsafe place. Bad things happen all the time and all over the place. We can’t avoid them. There’s no way. All we can do is stay vigilant, keep our eyes open, know what to do when something bad happens, and pray we never have to defend ourselves. I’m sorry it’s that way, but it is. If I could protect you from it all, I would, Mistress. Every day, all the time.”
She sniffles a little, and then I feel her hand brush my cheek. “I know you would, submissive. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Thank you for letting me serve you. Have you had anything to eat?”
She sighs again, and for some reason, the sound drives a dagger through my heart. “I’m not really hungry.”
“How ‘bout some soup? That place that makes the great soup is open. We’ve got to go right past it. We can get it to go and eat it when we
get to my place.” I wait for her to answer, but she doesn’t, so I forge ahead. “I’m going to get some for myself. Decide what you want.”
I wind up picking out two soups. I figure between the two, surely she’ll want one of them. She’s still crying on and off as I drive. There’s no way for me to describe how helpless I feel at not being able to do something, anything, to help her. We’re almost to the apartment when her phone rings, and she pulls it from her bag, looks at the screen, sighs, and answers it. “Hello? Yeah. No, I’m fine. They said I don’t have a concussion, just banged up. Yeah. Uh-huh. No, I’m with a friend and we’re getting some food. Uh-huh. Don told me to take the rest of the week off, but I can’t.” The female voice on the other end tunes up, but Dani replies, “No, I can’t do that, Brianna. Why? Because if I do, the kids will think I’m afraid, and I can’t let them think that. They have to think I’m tough and can handle it. Otherwise, I don’t stand a chance. They’ll walk all over me, and you know it’s true. Uh-huh. Yeah. Okay, I will, I promise. Bye.”
“Coworker?”
She nods. “Brianna. She was worried about me.”
“Who told you to take the rest of the week off?”
“Don. The principal. But I can’t. I’ve got to show the kids that I’m not afraid.”
“But if he told you to, you probably should, don’t you think? I mean, you’re hurt, Dani, and you need time to recover and―”
“My life, Brandt. My business,” she barks and falls silent.
Ouch. I say nothing and wonder if I’ve read this whole relationship wrong. Everything about my life is an open book to her, but her life is her business? Maybe I truly don’t understand how this works. I’ll just drive and pretend I don’t give a shit. I guess that’s what she wants from me.
I pull into the parking garage, wondering what I should do next. Eating the soup and taking her back for her car seems like a good idea. As I pull my keys out of the ignition and think about how I’m going to extricate myself from the position I’ve unwittingly put myself in, I feel a hand on mine. “Brandt?”
Blissfully Hers: Bliss Series, Book Seven Page 12