“Very little. But it sounds like something that I wouldn’t like if I were you.”
“Yeah. That’s what I thought.” We sit there for a minute or two, her enjoying her soft drink and me thinking, until I decide to ask the big question. “I guess my most important question for you is, what do you think will happen when my dad and my brothers find out I’m a submissive?”
“I’m afraid what will happen will be something else that I wouldn’t like if I were you.”
“Yeah. I was thinking the same thing.” Kara’s just confirmed my suspicion. I was right―I have reason to be afraid. Dani’s not going to like this at all. “I’ve been trying to find a safe way to tell them, but―”
“A safe way? I don’t think that exists,” she says with a snort.
“That’s what I’m afraid of.”
“What are you going to do, Brandt? You can’t just hide forever.”
All I have is a shrug. “I have no idea.”
“Well, whatever you decide, good luck. You’re going to need it.”
While I drive her back to Boone and Melina’s, we talk in the car and she tells me all about how she first knew she was a submissive. I didn’t know it, but Brock wasn’t her first long-term D/s relationship. She’d actually been in one in high school with a guy who was in his late twenties, and for about five years, all the way through her sophomore year in college. That was a shocker. I’m surprised he didn’t wind up in jail, but it turns out her parents knew him and thought it was just fine. According to her, he was a generous and gentle lover, somebody she really cared deeply for, and when they broke up, she floundered and got into a couple of truly horrible relationships before she and Brock met.
And then she drops the bomb: Brock bought her at an auction. I’ve never heard this story before, and I’m taken completely aback. They posted a flyer at one of the bars she and her friends frequented, a colorful thing that gave the details of an auction that was taking place where women could put themselves up for the highest bid with the promise of an evening of fun. She and her girlfriends thought it sounded like fun, so they all signed up, and six of them went through with it. Two of them were raped by the guys who bought them, and three went on one date and never heard from the guys again. But Brock picked her up, took her for a nice dinner, told her who he was and what he was about, and they wound up in bed, screwing each other like animals until the morning sun told them they’d been at it long enough. She said when she went home that morning, she knew she wanted to be with him forever. He texted her later and told her she was the most amazing woman he’d ever met and he wanted to pursue a relationship with her. And they’ve been together ever since.
I have to ask. “So did you do kinky shit on that first date?”
She starts to giggle. “When we were finishing dinner, he said, ‘Kara, just so you know, I’m kinky as fuck and I wanna show you what kind of ecstasy I can bring you if you’re game.’ Of course, that piqued my curiosity, and two hours later, I was in a very compromising position with him buried inside me. I loved every minute of it.”
“Wow. Most women would’ve run for the hills.”
“Not me. I knew what a relationship like that looked like because of David, and I wanted it again. But Brock, he was a wild man, and I love that about him. You ‘Bama boys, you’re different.”
“Where are you from?”
That makes her laugh aloud. “Illinois! I’m a Yankee by birth, but a southerner by the grace of God.”
I’m laughing too. “That’s what Mama and Daddy would say!”
My car glides to a stop in Boone’s driveway and I turn to Kara with a smile. “Thanks for tonight.”
“I’m sorry I couldn’t be more encouraging. Just be careful, okay? I know you love your family, and they love you. I don’t want to see you get hurt. You’re a great guy. I love you, Brandt. I wish you all happiness with Dani, and I hope you can find a way to make it work.”
“Thanks. I’ll walk you to―”
“No need. It’s late and you’ve got work tomorrow. But thanks for a fun evening. Night, sweetie.” She leans over and plants a kiss on my cheek, and I feel loved and understood. She’s a sweet lady, and my brother is a lucky sumbitch to have her.
“Night.” I watch as she heads up the walk and through the front door before I pull away. I’m less than a mile away before I give the voice command to the hands-free system and hear that voice I want to hear most.
“Hi, babe!”
“Hey! Getting some rest?”
“Um-hmm. How’d dinner go?”
“Good. Can’t wait to tell you about it.”
There’s just a little hesitation before she asks, “Want to come over?”
“Sure! It’s not terribly late. But you have to promise that as soon as I leave, you’ll go to bed.”
I can hear the huffiness in her tone. “I’m not an invalid, submissive.”
“I know, Mistress, but the more rest you get, the sooner you’ll be back up to one hundred percent. Isn’t that what you want?”
“Yes.”
“I already feel a little guilty for letting you wear yourself out like you did last night.”
A little chuckle comes from the other end of the phone. “I thought I wore you out. That was my goal anyway!”
“Yeah, I think it was pretty well tit for tat. So I’ll be there in a few minutes. Is Caleb up?”
“Yeah, but he’s in his room with his headphones on.”
“Then stay in the bed and I’ll let myself in. See you in a few.”
I open the front door, wander down the hallway, and give a light rap on her door before opening it. There she is, propped up in the bed in an embankment of pillows, magazine in front of her and a glass of what looks like tea on the bedside table. “Hi!” she says when I step through the doorway, and the smile she gives me makes my heart trip. Wiggling away, she pats the bed. “Come join me.”
I slip off my shoes, pull my shirt over my head, and slip off my pants before sliding under the covers in nothing but my briefs and socks. As soon as I’m settled, I hold out my arm and she snuggles against me as I pull her in tightly. “Good evening?”
“Yeah. And better now. So tell me about dinner.”
“It was good. Kara’s a great lady. She’s easy to talk to, funny, sweet. My brother’s a lucky man.”
“Did you talk about you being a submissive?”
“I didn’t really know how to go about it, so I just asked about their version of the lifestyle.”
“And she told you?”
“Oh, yeah.” I start telling her all the things Kara said, with her asking questions here and there to clarify what I was saying. I don’t get extremely graphic―again, that’s between Kara and me―but I tell her enough so she can understand the conversation. I finish with, “It was really nice to talk to someone who knew where I was coming from.”
“I can imagine.”
How to tell her about the last question I asked? I’m not sure how to approach it. “I asked one last question of her.”
“Yeah?”
“I asked what she thinks will happen if my family ever finds out I’m a submissive.”
“And?”
I have to fight to keep from sighing loudly. “She said I’d probably regret it if they ever find out.”
She pops upright in the bed and stares at me. “She didn’t.”
“Yes, she did,” I say, nodding. “She absolutely did. Said if I told them, something would definitely happen and I probably wouldn’t like it.”
“Well, she’s not very encouraging.”
“Truth is, I wasn’t looking for encouragement. I was looking for honesty, and that’s what I got.”
“Her version of it.”
“Dani, she’s been in our family for quite a few years now. She knows them. She knows how they’ll react, and I think she’s probably right about this.”
“Wow.” Settling back down against me, she strokes a finger down the middle of my chest. �
�So, what, you’re just going to keep going like this? Hiding? Sneaking around?”
“I don’t know what else to do until I can feel them out a little more and know how they’ll really react.” When she doesn’t respond, I ask, “Will you hang in there with me?”
“I’ll try.”
“Okay. Good enough.” My lips find the part in her hair and I kiss it gently.
“Brandt?”
“Mmm-hmmm.”
“Stay here with me tonight?”
“I don’t have any clothes, Mistress. And you need some rest.”
“I’m fine, really. I just … I need you here. Please?”
My sigh holds no irritation, just resignation. “How in hell can I say no to you when you ask me like that?”
“I’m hoping you don’t.” Tipping her head back, she looks up into my face. “When I’m close to you like this, none of that other stuff matters.”
Oh, sweet lord, I love this woman. I wish I could tell her that, but the best I can do right now is show her. “Okay. But no sex. You have to rest.”
She sticks her lower lip out in a fake pout. “Spoil sport. You’re no fun.”
“Yeah, yeah. Tell that to somebody who doesn’t give a shit about you.” She giggles a little. “Now go to sleep. I have to go to work in the morning.”
“And then it’s Saturday.”
“Oh, you can read a calendar, can you?” I quip.
“I can. I intend to have you Saturday night, so don’t be telling me to get some rest. Got that, submissive?”
“Yes, Mistress. And by Saturday, that will be fine. But for tonight―”
“I know, I know. Get some rest. Blah-blah-blah. Okay.” She scoots down in the bed, and I follow, then reach up to snap off the bedside light. “Panther?”
“Sleep―”
“I just wanted to say,” she admonishes, “that when I’m in your arms, everything is right. But I want that to be everywhere, not just in private.”
“I’m working on it. Goodnight, Mistress.” That’s a lie. I’m not working on it. I’m working to keep it under wraps, and I hate how that makes her feel. I’ve got to get this worked out.
But I have absolutely no idea where to start.
* * *
I sneak out early enough to go home, change and go for a run, then shower and dress for work, but not before leaving a note for her: The day will be bright as long as you smile. I’ll think of you all day and imagine that beautiful smile of yours. Panther
Work is insane. We’re moving headlong into the grand opening for next week, and one of our vendors has gone completely AWOL. They’re not answering the phone, they’re not answering emails, and Boone’s threatening to send Blake to their facility when we finally get a call from their CEO, telling us their power has been out for four days due to a storm, but our product is boxed and awaiting the carrier for shipment. Boone and I both breathe a long sigh of relief, then go to lunch and have a beer. We’ve earned it.
Riley, head of product acquisitions, sends me three contracts to look over before they go to Boone. Two of them look fine; one of them is going to have to be reworked before I can recommend that he sign it. But if we can get these ironed out, we’ll have exclusive rights to BrightLight Hiking Gear, Mountain Man Clothing, and Be Clean, a line of cookware and dinnerware that’s eco-friendly. How that works is a mystery to me, but it’s all the rage, and in order for shoppers to get it, they’ll have to come to Lawson’s. Prior to submitting the contract to us, Be Clean had already negotiated a contract with a big-name celebrity chef, and he’ll be coming to the stores to do demonstrations. Melina says Boone is so excited about it all that he can barely sleep.
While I’m marking up the contract I don’t like, I get a text from Dani. I have to go to the club tonight. I’m going stir crazy. And I need my Panther.
That makes me smile. Panther’s all yours. Pick you up or meet you there?
The three little dots wave up and down before the message comes in. Pick me up and we can grab a bite if you’d like.
Oh, I’d very much like, I message back with a smile. Then I add, Your Panther needs you.
That’s met with one of those smiley emoticons blowing a heart-shaped kiss. Since she didn’t say a time, I’ll just go home, do what I need to do, and text her when I leave.
“Big plans for the weekend?” Boone asks as he cleans off his desk and hangs up a few key tags on the board in the main office.
“Nah. Probably laundry, maybe binge watch some series on streaming, go to the store so I don’t starve.”
“You’re welcome to come over tomorrow if you want.”
I just shrug. “I’ll have to see what I get done. I need to wash my car too. It’s looking bad.”
That gets a laugh out of him. “Your car on its dirtiest day is cleaner than mine on its cleanest!”
“Yeah, but you’ve got a Rover.”
“So? It still deserves to live a good life, doesn’t it?” he says through more laughter.
“I suppose. Tell Melina I said hello and hugs. Brock and Kara get off okay this morning?”
“Yeah. He called me from the airport while I was driving here and said they were about to board. You and Kara had a good time last night, according to what she said.”
Oh, shit. Wonder what else she said? “Yeah, we did. Did she tell you what we talked about?”
“All she said was how easy you were to talk to and how much she enjoyed getting to know you better. I assumed you talked about you and Mona.”
“A little. We touched on it, but I hate dwelling on that. There were other things much more cheerful to talk about, like everybody having babies.”
“Yeah, and those two are going to be cuter than cute, both of them waddling around,” Boone says with a grin. Every time he mentions Melina, his whole face lights up. God, he loves that woman, and she’s crazy about him. You can see it in the way they look at each other. Do Dani and I look at each other that way? I doubt it. It would be far too damning if anybody ever realized we were mooning over each other. “But I’m glad you had a good time with Kara. Melina would love to spend time with you too. Of course, you guys can do that at any time.”
“I feel bad because I don’t have a woman who can reciprocate,” I say, not thinking about how that comes out.
A tiny little frown lines his face. “You have beautiful, if you’d ever tell us who she is.”
Think fast, I tell myself. “Boone, you want the truth? I thought that call was the little old lady who runs the bakery down the street from me. I ordered some cupcakes and I always tell her how gorgeous she is. She gets a kick out of it.” Boy, I’m a little worried about myself. Lying, and lying creatively, is starting to come a little too easily to me for my own comfort.
“Oh. Well, sorry I’ve been busting your ass about it. But what about Dani? I mean, I know she’s a Dominatrix, but I don’t know why the two of you couldn’t date or something. She doesn’t have a submissive, right? And you don’t either. So you could at least test those waters, don’t you think?”
“I think that would be a bit unfair of each of us toward the other, don’t you? I mean, tie up our time with someone we’re certainly not going to have a future with?” Nope, I’m never going to have a future with her if I don’t get my shit together. Of course, that’s easier said than done. It’s impossible to get your shit together when you don’t know where the hell it is.
“Guess that’s true. Hey, there’s a nice club in Santa Fe. We can go next week while we’re down there if you want.”
I’m a little taken aback by that. “Wait. Wouldn’t that bother Melina a bit?”
“She wouldn’t care. She trusts me, and she knows I’d never have sex with somebody I scened with. Never. I’m hers and she knows it. But she’s, well, I wouldn’t call it fragile, but we have to be careful now, and I’d love to get some fire play in with somebody. And you might be able to find somebody too! That could be fun, huh?”
“I dunno. This is all new to
me, Boone. I’m not even a member of Bliss.” There I go again―another lie. What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him, I suppose. At least I hope Brian hasn’t told him I bought a membership.
“You should change that. Talk to Brian. It shouldn’t be a problem.”
“I’ll do that.” Like I haven’t already. God, Brandt, you’re pathetic, I hear my own voice say in my head. Yep, that’s me―pathetic Brandt.
“So tomorrow? Come over? We’ll, hell, I dunno what we’ll do, but we’ll do something. Want to hike? We’ll lace up our boots and go out. Bring Dani if she wants to come. She can hang with Melina at the house.”
“I’ll ask her. Thanks, brother,” I tell him, hoping that gets him out of my doorway and out of my hair.
“Yep. Goin’ home to my girl. Talk to you tomorrow.” He finally wanders away and I can breathe again. I love him, but I feel like he’s smothering me sometimes. Yes, he means well, and I keep telling myself that, but it’s still annoying as hell.
I practically run from the building and as soon as I start the car, I hit my hands-free and call out her name. She answers with, “You on your way home?”
“Yes, Mistress. I’m going to take a fast shower, change, grab my bag, and I’ll be there.”
“I’ll be ready when you get here. Drive carefully, submissive.”
“Yes, Mistress. I will. See you in just a little while.” God, the sound of her voice makes goosebumps pop up on my arms. I want to touch her, taste her, feel her skin, smell her hair. If I could find a way to wrap her up in me and carry her everywhere I go, I’d do it. Nothing would make me happier.
On the way there, I stop at a florist shop I noticed before and buy a big bouquet of flowers. They’re beautiful colors, pinks and yellows and oranges, with some foliage to fill it out. They make me smile when I look at them, just like she does, but they aren’t half as beautiful as she is.
Flowers in hand, I make my way up the walk and ring the doorbell, then remember that I have a key. Should I? She wouldn’t have given it to me if she hadn’t wanted me to use it, so I take my keyring back out and find it, shove it in the keyhole, and turn. The door pops open and I smile as I hear her yell, “Hello?”
Blissfully Hers: Bliss Series, Book Seven Page 17