by Lyn Cote
Which accounted for the shame evident in his final words. She knew all about Keir’s youthful rebellion from her uncle, who’d given a highly negative version, and from Shirley who’d given a much kinder viewpoint. Should she say something? A silence yawned between them. “I don’t believe my uncle when he talks about you and Sarah,” she murmured at last.
“Thanks.” His shadowed face—so determined, so compelling to her—twisted into a grimace. “But I was as wild then as your uncle says.” Keir closed his lips. Summer night had come with its lingering glow on the horizon.
“Keir, I was only Evie’s age then, and all I remember of Sarah was her shouting matches with her father.” Audra wanted to add that her uncle was repeating the same grievous mistake with Brent, but didn’t. “I’m sorry Sarah died so young, but I don’t think you should carry guilt over your…wildness. When we’re young, we all do things we regret.” Like having a baby out of wedlock. And setting up my sweet little girl to be hurt by her father’s rejection.
“I know I’d have ended up in prison or maybe like Sarah, dead before I saw thirty. I owe my life to Tom and how he demonstrated God’s love toward me. You know when I was seventeen, I nearly killed a kid at a drinking party.” He glanced in her direction.
She forced herself not to reach out to him, but she ached to comfort him. Your past doesn’t matter to me.
“If I’d been a few months older,” Keir said. “Or the judge hadn’t listened to Tom’s plea on my behalf, I’d have been tried as an adult. As it was, I served some time in a juvenile facility, on probation, and then my record was expunged.”
Keir dragged in air. “I owe everything to Tom and I’m going to find out who hurt him like this and they’ll come to justice.” His final words promised unmistakable retribution.
Audra rested a hand on his arm, watching the headlights of another car flash over the sheriff’s face. His profile was a strong one with a firm jaw and chin. Keir had gone through the fiery furnace of rejection just as Chad had. Just as she had. He’d come through it a loving stepson, and a better person with a reputation as a good friend to have.
The image of his lifting Evie into his arms flickered in her mind’s eye. Her heart softened another degree. This man was becoming part of her life. Should she let the process continue? Keir wasn’t the kind of man who led a woman on and she’d adhered to the same principle. I’ve got to stop getting closer to this man.
Frightened of this line of thought and all it might imply, she dropped her hand and switched topics. “Why did my mother take Evie home?”
“She helped Shirley with your morning café trade.”
“She what?” Audra sat bolt upright.
“Shirley took Evie to the café to see what she could do to salvage your risen dough and sell coffee.” He shrugged. “When Megan arrived, she called your mom and told her about your injuries. And—”
“Mother called me at the hospital this afternoon,” Audra interrupted. “She wanted to know how badly I was hurt and if I had health insurance.”
“Shirley told me Lois showed up at your café and made and served coffee and tea while Shirley made sweet rolls.”
Audra’s own helplessness corroded her mood further. Lord, I need to be able to work with my hands. “Shirley shouldn’t have. I owe her so much already.” Again, shaming, undeniable tears began spilling from her eyes. Now she understood what the doctor had said about post-traumatic shock syndrome.
The sheriff slowed and pulled off the road at a public wayside. He parked in the deserted well-tended clearing with a picnic shelter and brick outdoor facilities for men and women amidst the dense forest. From the shadows, a white-tailed deer darted away into the evergreens.
“Hey, Audra, come on. Everything’s okay. Tom will be out of the hospital in a few days. You’re going to be all right.” He stroked her back with his large hand, making her pulse race through her veins.
Her sense of being out of control ebbed. She breathed in fresh air from the open window and made herself still. “I’m okay. It’s still the shock of seeing the flames.” She didn’t want to go over again what had happened this morning. Her hands were throbbing in earnest now. “Do you have any water? I need to take a pain pill.” She looked down at her bandaged hands, wondering how she was going to knead and shape dough in the morning. I can’t think about that now.
Keir rummaged in the backseat and brought out a cup. “I’ll go work the pump—”
“No—”
“Just take me a minute.” He opened his door and strode to the shelter where a glossy dark green picnic table had been placed near a bright red old-fashioned pump.
Audra got out and hurried after him. She took the mug from him while he pumped the handle. Cold water poured out of the pump, splashing Audra’s sandaled feet. She started to put the mug under the flow when Keir took it from her. “We don’t want your bandages to get wet.”
Suddenly weak and so tired, she moved backward and collapsed onto the attached bench of the picnic table. She took the mug and swallowed her pill. The springwater was icy and soothed her raw throat. “Thanks.”
He sat down beside her and she welcomed the protective arm he put around her. “Are you in a lot of pain?”
She shook her head. “No, just enough,” she said, trying to smile. Embarrassing tears still threatened. She shut her eyes tightly and looked away from him, but the tears leaked out anyway.
His embrace pulled her closer to him and she didn’t have the strength to resist. She turned to him and began to weep onto his chest.
“Let it out,” he murmured, tenderly stroking her back. “You’ve been through an awful experience. You can’t just ignore it. You’ve been injured physically and shocked by violence. Let it out. You’ll feel better.”
The tears turned into several minutes of sobbing. Finally, she gasped for air and began wiping her face with her fingertips. “I’m so—”
His forefinger lifted her chin and then he was kissing her. She leaned into him. Her arms crept around his neck. Finally, he ended the kiss and she lowered her arms, pulling away.
“I’m sorry—” he began.
Please don’t apologize. I wanted you to kiss me. She couldn’t deny this, but it sent shivers of panic through her. She reached up and pressed her fingers against his lips, stopping him. She didn’t want to spoil the moment by discussing all the reasons why they shouldn’t be sitting here on a public highway in a state wayside kissing. She rested her head against his arm.
“I don’t know,” Audra voiced her worry, “how I’m going to do my baking in the morning. I can’t afford to stay closed for the week to ten days that the doctor said my hands would take to heal.”
“Shirley said that Lois is picking her up in the morning and they’re coming to help you open.”
“I just don’t understand….” She fell silent, not wanting to discuss her strained relationship with her mother.
“I think that you’re going to have to accept their help.”
“You’re probably right.” Maybe with Shirley’s help she could manage to keep the coffee and tea part of her business going. But she’d lose trade. People wanted more than just coffee. Suddenly exhausted, she drooped against him.
He wrapped an arm around her. “I need to get you home.” He drew her up and they got back onto the quiet highway and drove on. His headlights on the pavement were mesmerizing, but his presence was powerful in the silent vehicle.
“You didn’t get any useful clues then?” Audra leaned back against the seat, distancing herself from him.
“Nothing. Not a fingerprint. No one saw anyone lurking around. None of the materials used to set the fire have any distinctive identity to trace. None of them would be difficult to get. In fact, most of the booby trap was made up of materials at Tom’s shop.”
“Is there any chance that these fires aren’t connected?”
Keir made a dismissive sound. “I’ve been keeping back the one clue that connects each of these fires. An
d when I tell you, you won’t believe me.”
“Why? What’s the clue?” She turned toward him.
“Pennies.”
“Pennies?” She looked at him, suddenly wide-eyed.
“The arsonist always leaves a stack of pennies at each crime scene.”
“Why pennies?”
“If I could figure that out, I’d probably know who’s setting fires and leaving behind handfuls of pennies.”
Audra rubbed her taut forehead. “This is too much for me. I thought my biggest challenges this summer would be keeping up with my heavy schedule of early and late hours—not this.”
He touched her arm and then pulled back. “You’ll feel better in the morning.”
She doubted it but didn’t want to say so. His decision not to touch her was a wise but unwelcome one. She closed her eyes and concentrated on the whir of the tires on the pavement, not her responsiveness to the strong man beside her. With Keir so near, her fears gradually subsided. What was she going to do with her growing feelings for him? They appeared to be next to impossible to dismiss.
Early the next morning Audra walked through Shirley’s empty house. Her mind buzzed. How was she going to work dough? And where was Chad?
At 4:00 a.m. when the squawking alarm had awakened her, she’d wished she had a sledgehammer handy to smash it. She’d sat up stiffly in bed and realized she’d slept in one position all night like a mummy—too exhausted to even roll over in her sleep. She’d moved slower getting ready, too. Her bandaged hands throbbed, making her fumble with her buttons and zipper.
On her way downstairs, she’d knocked on Chad’s door and there’d been no answer. She’d cautiously opened the door and found his bed empty. Where had Chad gone off to at this hour? Should I call Keir?
She’d tell Shirley as soon as she got to work. Even if she couldn’t figure out how, with her hands still bandaged and hurting—she would do her work. I can’t afford to lose any more business. I’ll figure out something. She patted the slacks pocket where her pain pills rattled in their plastic bottle. Her footsteps echoed through the sleeping house as she exited through the front hall instead of the kitchen. She couldn’t face walking down the alley where she’d experienced the fire yesterday morning. And on top of everything else where was Chad?
Dawn brightened the lingering gray of night, promising another good day for business. But all the way through the sleepy town to her Victorian, she fretted. She let herself inside the front gate and through the front door. She heard voices. And stilled with fear. Intruders?
Then she recognized the voices. Shirley and Chad? She hurried through the house to the large professional kitchen in the rear. Shirley and Chad stood side by side at the counter where Shirley was demonstrating how to roll out dough after its first rise.
Audra halted in the doorway, gawking at them.
“Morning, Audra.” Her mother’s voice called her attention to the other workstation where Lois was filling sweet rolls with raspberry jam.
“What…? I…you,” Audra stammered.
“We’re here to help,” Lois explained. “How are you, dear?” Her mother came over and looked Audra up and down. Then she leaned over and kissed Audra’s cheek. “I would have come to the hospital, but Evie needed both me and Megan to keep her spirits up. And I didn’t think visiting you and Tom at the hospital would be best for her. I hope you agree.”
“Yes. Yes. But…” Audra couldn’t remember the last time her mother had kissed her and she couldn’t take in all the unexpected help.
“You didn’t think you could work dough with those hands, did you?” Lois arched up one eyebrow.
Audra felt as if she were chasing a paper blown by the wind. “I…was going to try.”
“Foolishness.” Lois shook her head decidedly and turned back to her workstation.
“Audra,” Shirley informed her, “I’m teaching Chad how to work dough into different shapes. He’ll need a new summer job now that Tom’s place must be rebuilt.”
“But I can’t afford—”
“I’ll be paying Chad,” Lois spoke up. “And I don’t want to hear a word about it. I’m your mother and you’re working yourself much too hard.”
Audra’s mouth opened and closed a few times. When she finally tried to object, Lois raised the thin spatula she was using and made a sharp gesture which obviously signified, No discussion!
Nonplussed, Audra walked in and plumped down in one of the work stools. “Thank you. I really appreciate this.”
“I recorded a message last night explaining about the fire and your injuries to your pizza customers,” Shirley said. “And before Keir drove me to the hospital, Brent helped me measure the ingredients for this morning’s dough and set the timers.”
“And I picked her up this morning from the hospital and Chad met us here,” Lois finished, efficiently filling a sheet of rolls and sliding them into the nearby oven. “We told him not to wake you. We hoped you’d have enough sense to sleep in. Megan will be here around seven o’clock with Evie to work the morning shift as usual.”
Audra managed a rueful smile. “I see that I’m easily replaced. Chad, thanks for helping out.”
Chad cast her a dark glance. “Don’t you think I set the fire at Tom’s like everyone else?”
Behind the anger, Audra heard the pain in the teen’s voice. “No, Chad, I don’t.”
“Neither do I,” Lois spoke up. “You and Tom seemed to get along well together.”
Chad looked surprised at this unexpected vote of confidence. But his face hardened. “Don’t you think I set your shed on fire?” he demanded.
“No, I did ask the sheriff if you might have been smoking and dropped a butt into some dry grass. That’s the kind of things teenagers do to give their parents prematurely gray hair. But he said it had been set with a fuse.” Lois looked at Chad. “Why would you set my shed on fire? You don’t even know me.”
“I used to set fires,” Chad confessed, bowing his head lower over the dough he was shaping into rounds for sweet rolls.
“Well, I’m sure that was before you came to live with Shirley and Tom,” Lois replied. “You’ll find as you get older we all do things we wish we could undo later.”
Shirley spoke up then, instructing and encouraging Chad. Audra stood up. “Well, at least, I can take the baked goods out of the ovens.” She put on her apron and oven mitts. The four of them worked with a few mistakes and much laughter and then Megan and Evie arrived.
Evie ran to Audra and then halted, pointing to Audra’s bandaged hands. “Mama, your hands are hurt.”
“I’ll be all right, baby.” Audra bent down and hugged her. “The bandages will come off soon.”
“The sheriff told me yesterday that he’ll take me to go see Tom today. Is Tom hurt bad?”
Audra brushed back her daughter’s dark silken hair. “Tom will be all right and you shouldn’t be bothering the sheriff.”
“He likes it when I talk to him. And I asked him if he would take us to the fireworks on Fourth of July, too.”
“Evie! No.” Audra’s face warmed. Embarrassment rioted inside her. “You shouldn’t have asked him that.”
Evie ignored this. “The sheriff said yes, if it was okay with you, and that I should ask you. But Mama, I want him to go with us. I want him to pick me up and put me on his shoulders. Cassie always sits on her daddy’s shoulders to watch the fireworks. But I don’t got a daddy so I asked the sheriff.”
I don’t got a daddy. The words slashed Audra’s heart in two. She nearly rubbed the spot over her heart to staunch the pain. Silence blossomed and grew in the kitchen. “I’ll be working that night, baby.”
Evie propped her hands on her hips. “Mama, I’m not a baby—”
Audra held up a hand. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. You’re not a baby anymore.”
Megan swung Evie up into her arms and jiggled her playfully. “Come on, Miss I’m-not-a-baby-anymore, we have to get our aprons on and make sure everything is set up for y
our mom.” The two slipped on their aprons and Megan tied both of them in the back. Then she paused on their way to the front and said, “Audra, I’ll work the pizza shift on Fourth of July. Evie deserves her big night out on the sheriff’s shoulders.”
“Megan!” Audra exclaimed, feeling her pride come undone. How could she look Keir in the face?
Megan laughed and swept Evie away with her.
Audra turned and found Lois smiling. “My granddaughter certainly knows what she wants and how to get it.”
Shirley chuckled. “And we all know she wants a daddy.”
Face still on fire, Audra didn’t trust herself to speak. The combination of hurt and humiliation burned and throbbed like her injured hands. She’d tell Sheriff Harding that he would have to come up with a good excuse for not taking her and Evie to the carnival. Everyone in town would see them. It would spark more talk than their sitting in church together.
And if her uncle were there, he might even cause a scene. But her daughter’s words, “I don’t got a daddy,” continued to bee-sting her heart. I’m sorry, baby. How can I make you realize that this isn’t the time for love…for me? I’m too busy this summer. And I still can’t believe that a man would want me with my past and a child. Being kind to a friend’s daughter was very different from assuming responsibility for that child. And Evie and I are a package deal.
Still, the memory of Keir’s kiss the night before taunted Audra. I do have feelings for him but I’m not going to act on them, so that means I’m leading him on. I have to make up my mind, break it off and stick to that. I can’t keep giving in to the touch of his rough yet caring hands and the way he smiles at Evie.
EIGHT
On the evening of Fourth of July, Evie clung excitedly to Keir’s hand as they moved among the fun-seeking crowd. Residents, summer people and tourists packed the street along the end of the wharf and marina. The long summer day lingered with unusual heat and humidity. He’d been surprised when Evie had invited him, and he’d see to it that Evie had a good time tonight. But Audra walked beside him, looking tense. She’s worried about gossip. And maybe her uncle seeing us together?