They struggled through the thick drifts of dry sand pushed up around the base of the steep stairs. When they reached firmer sand, she hooked her arm in his. He looked pleased.
“I thought you owned only the half you live in. You own both sides?”
“I used to rent out both sides and stayed here only a few weeks during the year. I moved here permanently last year. For most of the business interests I have, I’ve either sold or stepped out of active management.”
“Businesses? Like what?”
A child ran along the edge of the water, dodging the reach of the waves. A woman with a white furry dog passed them, the dog straining the leash and setting the pace.
“Like the gallery. I was hands-on until recently. It has always been my favorite, my first love, business-wise. I turned my interest over to Luke. Over the years, we’ve partnered in a number of efforts.”
The breeze blowing onshore gentled as the sun sank lower. The salt and seawater blended with the air and smelled of something elemental, perhaps of life itself. It touched a core within her. It steadied her.
“You two were, are, very close. I guess you’ve noticed he’s not thrilled about me.”
“Not you. It’s me he’s worried about. He’s having trouble letting go.”
“Letting you live your own life?”
“No, I mean accepting I’m leaving his—that I’m dying.”
Her stomach clenched. The steadiness she’d felt now seemed suspect. “You seem so well. Tired some, but who doesn’t get tired?”
“I have to deal in reality, Juli. You and I are enjoying each other’s company—I am and I hope it’s true for you—but we met nine days ago. You aren’t emotionally invested. We don’t have history. Remember you asked why I didn’t have a friend move in for companionship and I said it would be cruel? Well, that’s what I meant.” He paused a few seconds before adding, “I’m not afraid of death. I know where I’m going when I die.”
Reality. It wanted to hang over her head like a smog-filled cloud and she detested the awkwardness of the topic.
She ran a few steps ahead of him, then spun around to look him in the face. “In this world, none of us have more than the moment we’re in. You’re here. I’m here. Tomorrow can take care of itself.”
He held out his hand. “Juli, come stand here beside me, please? I want you to see this.”
She returned to stand beside him. He pointed ahead, to the west. “Look.”
He touched her hand lightly and she clasped his in return. The sunset had been growing as they strolled up the beach and was now aflame, burning high as if the houses lining the western end of the beach had ignited. Dark wisps of clouds, like smoke, streamed up in the midst of the conflagration, and a high whitish-yellow glow backlit all of it. It looked like onrushing Armageddon.
She moved closer to him. Her cheek touched his shoulder and, after a brief hesitation, he put his arm around her back. When the sunset lost its strong color, they strolled back along the beach in the growing dark.
As they crossed the rough walkway back over the dunes, Ben said, “Luke asked us to join him for dinner later this week or next.”
Sharing dinner with Luke wasn’t likely to aid good digestion.
Juli looked up at the clouds and back down at the few scattered shells on the crossover. She kicked at them with her toe, wishing she could kick this decision somewhere down the road.
“Juli?”
“Fine. If you’d like to go, we will.”
She reached out and took his hand back into her own. No one could ever say she didn’t keep her side of a bargain.
Chapter Seven
She was surprised to find Ben downstairs ahead of her in the morning. He was seated in the rattan swivel rocker. Thick cushions softened the seat and back. The chair swayed back and forth as he read. When she stepped down onto the landing, a stair tread creaked and he looked up.
“Good morning,” he said.
“Hi.” He was holding his Bible. The brown leather Book appeared here and there around the house. This was the first time she’d actually seen him holding it.
Out beyond the window, a cloud moved away from the sun and the early morning rays brightened and touched Ben, gilding the angles of his face and lighting his hair. It gave him an almost insubstantial air. Translucent. The unseen cloud slid back into place, taking the eerie image with it. Juli released the breath she’d been holding.
She said, “You look a little pale this morning.”
“I woke early and couldn’t get back to sleep.” He closed his Bible and laid it on his lap. “There’s a package for you on the counter.”
“Really?” She picked up the small box. “A cell phone? But I have one.”
“You mentioned your plan didn’t allow for many minutes.”
“Sort of. It’s prepaid.”
“I put you on my plan. Unlimited minutes. I added texting, too. Everyone seems to be doing that now.” He laughed. “Everyone, but me. Seriously, I hope you like the phone. If you don’t, we’ll go by the store and switch it. It’s already charged.”
She felt strange holding the box and didn’t open it. Texting? Everybody but her, too. She didn’t have anyone to text. “Thanks. I’m sure it’ll be fine. I’ll look at it later.”
He didn’t answer. If he was disappointed that she didn’t do some kind of happy dance, well, he needed to get over it ‘cause she wasn’t a happy dance kind of gal.
She clapped her hands together. “I’ll get breakfast cooking. Do you have any preferences?”
“Nothing for me this morning.”
“What? Well, we’ll get it on your plate and then, if you still don’t want it, no problem.”
Ben pressed his lips together, but nodded.
She turned the radio on while she broke the eggs and cut up the chives. She was humming along with Jo Dee Messina singing, “I’m alright,” when Ben interrupted.
“You like to cook.”
He had moved closer and was sitting on the stool at the counter.
“I don’t have much practice. I don’t know if I like to cook, but I like to cook in this kitchen. You have a nice kitchen.” She tossed some cheese into the eggs.
He looked at the cabinets, then the ceiling, as if an answer was hanging there. He looked disturbed. Had she been heavy-handed? She took a step back from her insistence he should eat.
“I don’t want to bully you into eating. Are you feeling sick this morning?”
“Not sick, just not hungry, but I’ve changed my mind. Those eggs look good. Maybe a small portion with a slice of toast.”
“Toast coming up. With jam.”
“Toast with strawberry jam.”
“You got it.”
She put the food on the plates and the plates on the table.
Ben gave her a funny look. “Is that a small portion?”
“Eat what you want. Don’t worry about eating it all.” She cut into her omelet. “Ben, there’s something I want to ask you.”
He perked up. “Go ahead.”
“Last night you talked about going out to eat with Luke?”
“Yes. Is it a problem?”
“Where will we go? I hope it’s casual.”
“Casual’s good.”
“Glad to hear it because my wardrobe is limited.”
Ben pointed to the large wooden key hanging on the wall by the side door. It had hooks with keys to the house, car and storage shed. “You have the checkbook to your new account. Take the car anytime you like. Buy new—whatever you want. Don’t all women like to shop?”
She didn’t answer. Shopping wasn’t something she’d done recreationally.
Ben misunderstood her silence. “Was that sexist? I’m sorry.”
“No, it’s not that. I’m not much of a shopper.”
“There are clothing stores on the island and in Morehead City, of course. Take Maia along if you want company. She’ll be happy to go with you. In fact, I’ll program the gallery number into
your new phone. My number, too.”
****
Foster family number one was kind, but had children of their own. She never belonged. It wasn’t a bad spot to be in as a child, just awkward. Most everyone assumed she was being adopted but on their street and at school, the other kids in the family—the real children—made sure everyone knew Juli was just a foster kid. When foster dad number one’s job required a move cross-country, the state found Juli a new home.
Foster family two hoped a child would save their marriage. After a few months, Juli was back with the state.
Family number three, an older husband and wife, taught her some valuable lessons such as never turn down a free meal, never miss an opportunity, and everything has a price.
But none of them taught her how to shop for a dinner dress or how to accessorize.
Juli felt as out of place in the fancier dress shops as she would’ve on a college campus. Unless, of course, she was there working the cafeteria serving line.
She called Maia and said she’d bring the borrowed dress back to her.
“Nonsense,” Maia said. “Keep it, but come over anyway and we’ll do lunch.”
When she arrived, Maia was tied up with a customer and other customers were roaming the store. Maia broke away momentarily.
“I’m so sorry. I’m here alone. My co-worker called in sick and Luke is out.”
“Another time, then.”
“Thanks for understanding.”
Juli went to a few women’s clothing stores. The clerks were better dressed than she was. Their smiles barely moved their lips and invariably they pointed her toward the clearance rack. Suited her fine. Everything was pricey and most of it she wouldn’t be caught dead in. Old lady clothes. She settled for a few clearance items so she’d have something dressier to wear, yet could still congratulate herself on getting a good deal.
On the way home, she stopped at a drugstore for toiletries. In the school supplies aisle, an inexpensive sketchbook and drawing pencils caught her eye.
A hobby would be good. After all, she’d been accustomed to working two and three jobs at a time. She even purchased a couple of paperbacks, the kind she liked that took her away to other places. From there, she dropped by the public library and picked up a pamphlet with information about getting a GED. Back in the car, she shoved the pamphlet into one of the books to make it less conspicuous.
This time, leaving Morehead City and driving across the bridge, back to Bogue Banks and to Emerald Isle, the familiar drive was welcoming.
Juli climbed the exterior stairs up to the side door and entered the house quietly in case Ben was napping. He wasn’t. Voices came from his study. The door was partway open and Luke was saying, “—idea what she’s up to. Have you—?”
Ben interrupted. “I understand your concern, and Adela’s, too, but you don’t understand and I hope you’re never in a position where you can.”
Luke exited the room and saw her standing by the door. He paused for a heartbeat, then brushed past, opened the side door and was gone.
Was it ruder to say mean things about someone behind their back? Or to ignore the person like it didn’t matter even when you knew they’d overheard? She relaxed her fists.
She didn’t want Ben to know she’d heard. She opened the side door gently and then closed it again more loudly. “Ben, are you here?”
“Hello!” he called out.
“I saw Luke leaving.”
He came out of the study. “He worries about me. About us. Worries we rushed into marriage.”
“What did you tell him?”
“That we did.” He laughed. “I told him I’m happy. I know it’s only been a few days. Are you comfortable so far?” Ben began emptying the bags.
“I’m fine.”
“Oh, hey, what’s this?”
“A sketchbook and pencils. An eraser. Nothing much.”
“I had no idea you were an artist.”
“I’m not. I haven’t drawn in years, but there’s amazing scenery around here.” She shrugged. “I might enjoy it again.”
“You should consider a camera, too. Do you have one?”
“A camera? No.”
“If you decide you want one, don’t buy it without me. I know exactly what you need.”
He wasn’t really a husband or a companion, but more like a friend—a good friend with deep pockets.
“Unload the refrigerator items. I’ve got a couple more bags to fetch. We need these groceries so I can cook. I don’t have much experience, but it isn’t right to eat at restaurants every day.” When he moved toward the side door, she waved him back. “No, I’ll get the rest. Save your energy for our walk.”
“I have something to tell you,” Ben said. He put the orange juice carton into the fridge. “I’ll be going to church on Sunday.”
She paused in the open doorway and waited.
“Yesterday, I didn’t go because I wanted us to have the day together, but I do attend regularly. It wasn’t something we discussed before and, while I’d like you to go with me, it’s your choice.”
“I don’t have anything against going to church, but it’s never been a part of my life.” Hope lit Ben’s face, but this was a business arrangement. “I’ll think about it.”
He nodded. She was relieved her answer was enough for him. It was true she had no experience with religion and church, but it was also true she had no bias either way. She might try it out, but not right at first.
Juli threw him a bright smile. “I’ll be right back with the last bags.” She paused again. “And tonight we have a date. You and I are going to figure out how to text.”
****
Luke stewed all the way home oblivious to the bright blue sky of the Emerald Isle afternoon. The colorfully painted homes and low green shrubby growth contrasted with the well-manicured lawns. It was a scene he was familiar with having lived here most of his thirty-eight years, but he rarely failed to appreciate the gift anew—the gift of being able to live in this place and to have successful business enterprises with which to support himself and his employees.
Today, he gripped the steering wheel tight with one hand and the gear shift with the other. Not that there was need to shift on this empty road.
He was at war with himself, torn between removing himself from the equation altogether or trying to protect his cousin. Ben had sat at his desk with a grin on his face, a silly grin, a foolish one. Ben had always had a good heart, but he’d never been soft in the head—until now. He acted like a teenage boy with his first crush.
It was a crush. Nothing more. It would burn itself out.
Luke turned onto his street. When he’d first heard about Ben’s condition he’d been especially glad he lived nearby. Ben would need him and he wanted to be there for him.
A nearby buzz, then his cell started ringing. The Flight of the Valkyries. Adela’s song.
Adela knew what was best, always, for everyone.
He couldn’t speak to her—not in this mood. Wouldn’t even touch the phone until it stopped ringing.
He pulled into the driveway and sat in the car.
Luke wanted to be happy for Ben, but what were the odds Ben and the girl just happened to be at the party, one a guest and one working, had met and Ben found her so attractive and engaging that in one evening he knew he wanted to marry her?
It was insane. It was too crazy by far to be by chance.
For Ben’s sake, he wanted to believe, but seeing her aggravated him almost beyond bearing. Like the way she’d stood with one hand on her hip—a posture with attitude—when he left Ben’s study. It hadn’t looked like anger. More likely it was guilt.
She’d heard him. So what? He had genuine concerns and all of them were solely about what was best for Ben. It was his duty to do what he could for Ben’s sake.
But it if were true and this was an honest relationship, then he had to be happy for Ben.
No, he’d seen her in the Hammonds’ coatroom with the young man
who’d looked like trouble from the get-go. His manner was careless and underhanded, beginning with the scene in the dark hallway at the party.
Could it have been innocent? Maybe. But too many ‘could’ve been innocent’ events smelled like something bad. Then Juli had rushed into the room, spoke with the young man and began digging around in the wraps. Luke had stepped forward to ask them what they were doing when Juli left abruptly, nearly slamming into him with a backpack.
The owners of the missing items had reported their losses to the Hammonds and Marcel had engaged the police. Luke didn’t know anything was missing until a few days later. He’d been all set to tell Marcel what he’d seen when he remembered Ben mentioning Juli, the girl he’d left the party with.
Ben not only mentioned her, he couldn’t stop talking about her.
Luke remembered her, too. She was pretty, but when you lived at the beach pretty girls were everywhere.
He walked up the front steps and unlocked the door. He tossed his jacket onto the back of a chair and went into the kitchen for a drink. The housekeeper, Esther, had gotten the mail and left it on the counter.
Esther had also prepared lunch and left it in the fridge. She had some interesting ideas about what constituted a meal, but it was always tasty. Today he had chicken salad on whole wheat with bean sprouts.
He put the plate on the table and was struck by the empty seats. Just him. Always. Unless he entertained.
Ben saw the same.
Ben got comfort from his church family and faith, but when he came home, the chair on the other side of the table was empty. Luke had found comfort in church once upon a time. He looked through Ben’s eyes and could almost see Juli sitting across from him at the table. It was an appealing vision. Not because it was Juli, of course, but for the companionship.
She was probably accustomed to using her looks to get her places. She looked young, but not soft. Wary.
Perhaps it was the quality of wariness that brought out the protector in Ben. He had a strong need to fix people.
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