by Anna King
* * *
The hospital room was eerily quiet, with only the swishing of the nurses’ uniforms as they passed by on their way to and from the main ward. At this time of night, with most of the patients asleep, it was a peaceful place to be, a safe place that induced a feeling of security.
‘I’d better be on me way, Agnes, before the Sister realises I’m still ’ere and kicks me out on me ear.’ Ted patted the thin hand. ‘I’ll be back tomorrow.’
Agnes, trying hard to keep awake, squeezed his hand. ‘You sure he’s dead, Ted? I mean yer not just telling me that ter make me feel better, ’cos I’d rather know the truth.’
Ted kept hold of her fingers, replying grimly, ‘Yeah, he’s dead all right. If not right now, then he will be soon. No one’s gonna find ’im where he is. Even if some tramp comes across the hut, whoever it is ain’t gonna be looking fer a trap door in a run-down hut, are they? And Stokes ain’t in no condition ter call out fer ’elp. Nah, he’s a goner, so yer just rest an’ get yerself better.’
In a hoarse whisper Agnes wheezed, ‘An’ yer don’t… don’t feel guilty… fer leaving ’im ter die, I mean?’
A muscle in Ted’s face twitched but his voice was deadly calm as he answered. ‘No, I don’t. Any more than I’d regret having a rabid dog put down, though I think I’d show the dog some pity. They ain’t got no control over what nature made them.’ Smoothing down the covers of the bed he lingered for a minute before asking, ‘Agnes, will yer tell me something? It’s about Arthur and Ellen. You know what went on there better than anyone else, an’ I was wondering like if…’
Agnes’ fingers scratched at the sheets in agitation. ‘Don’t take… any notice of what I said… about Arthur… forcing ’imself on Ellen. It… it ain’t true. I was… just… just being spiteful, that’s all. Just… just a spiteful old… old woman…’
Ted’s lean frame relaxed at her words. He had heard the rumours, but had been too afraid of tackling Ellen about them for fear of what her answer would be. He hadn’t trusted himself not to give Arthur a good beating if the rumours had contained any truth. Now he was glad he’d kept his own counsel, because if he hadn’t, maybe Arthur wouldn’t be as accommodating as he was being. Ellen had explained what had happened, but he had wanted to hear it from Agnes, just to be sure. And he had to admit it took a different kind of courage for a man to admit he had lived and slept with an attractive young woman for over two years, and never had any physical contact with her, especially when it wasn’t true. Arthur could have made it hard for them to start a new life together. He could have insisted on dragging Ellen through a public divorce, but, whatever his reasons, he was making it easy for them, and for that Ted owed him a debt of gratitude. That’s not to say he wasn’t disappointed that Arthur had been with Ellen first, but it had happened, and in all fairness to the man, he had been married at the time. Anyway, it was a subject he didn’t want to dwell on. It was in the past; he had the future to look to now. A future with Ellen, Micky and Molly. He might have to wait a while, but it would be worth it in the end.
Chapter Twenty-eight
It was Christmas Day and the rooms above the bakery were full to bursting. Ellen and Ted had decided to have their Christmas dinner here rather than at Ted’s house, which hadn’t pleased Nora Parker at first, until Ellen had asked if the older woman would help her prepare and cook the large meal, professing to be out of her depth at cooking for such a large gathering. Now, as Nora basted the enormous turkey, she thought, not for the first time, that it was the strangest Christmas dinner she’d ever been to. Putting the bird back into the oven Nora wiped the sweat from her face and took a large gulp of sherry as she mentally counted the number of people she was catering for, just to make sure she hadn’t left anyone out. There was Sadie and the two boys, Ellen, Ted, and Micky and Molly, plus herself and John Smith. A look of sadness flitted over her face as she recalled the memory of poor Sarah Smith. Just a bad cold, John had told her when she’d enquired after his wife. But the cold had turned into pneumonia. Within a few days Sarah was dead, leaving John shocked and grief-stricken at the suddenness with which his beloved wife had been taken from him.
That had been over two months ago, but John still hadn’t come to terms with his bereavement. It had taken her, Ted and Ellen to persuade the solemn man to have his Christmas dinner with them instead of sitting alone in an empty house brooding. Taking a few steps from the kitchen she peered into the sitting room where the table was already set for the festive occasion.
‘Need any ’elp, Nora?’ Sadie North, dressed in a simple blue blouse and black skirt, looked at Nora hopefully. Nora understood exactly how Sadie felt and her mood softened towards the former prostitute. She and Sadie hadn’t exactly hit it off at first, but were now friends, due to their association with Molly. Sadie and the Knight boys had visited frequently since Molly had come to live with her brother and Ellen, but this was the first time she and the boys had been invited to what was essentially a family occasion, and it was obvious Sadie was feeling a bit awkward.
‘Yeah, thanks, Sadie, I could do with an extra pair of ’ands.’ Sadie gratefully followed Nora back into the kitchen. ‘’Ere yer go, love, get that down yer,’ Nora said gaily, handing Sadie a glass of sherry.
‘Cheers, Nora.’ Sadie took the drink gratefully. ‘What d’yer want me ter do?’
Waving her hand in the air Nora said, ‘Nothing, thanks. I just thought you was looking a bit left outta it.’
Sadie leant her buttocks against the table. ‘Is it that obvious?’
Nora laughed. ‘Don’t worry, mate, I don’t think anyone else has noticed, ’specially the two lovebirds.’ She nodded towards the other room where Ted and Ellen were standing together, smiling like doting parents as the four children played with the toys they had received for Christmas.
Following Nora’s glance Sadie asked hesitantly, ‘’As there been any news of Arthur… I mean, about getting the annulment? ’Cos Ellen and Ted can’t get married till it’s all sorted. It must be hard fer you, I mean, with your Ted living at your ’ouse one minute, and here the next. It must be confusing fer the kids an’ all.’
‘Nah.’ Nora waved her hand airily, the sherry beginning to take its toll. ‘Kids tend ter take things at face value. They’re much easier at dealing with changes in their lives just as long as they feel safe. Anyway, according ter Ellen it won’t be too long now. They’re just waiting fer the solicitors, that’s probably what’s ’olding everything up. Mind you, just between the two of us, I think the reason it’s taking so long is ’cos Arthur’s been dragging his feet, at least he was till he met the widowed sister of that Bradley woman. Like I said, up till a couple of months ago Arthur kept stalling every time Ellen wrote ter him, making up any excuse to delay signing the final papers. Now suddenly he’s doing all he can ter hurry up the whole business. Of course he’s making out he’s doing it fer Ellen’s sake, but I’ve known Arthur since he was in short trousers.
He’s the type of bloke that can’t cope on his own. First he depended on ’is dad, then when he died he latched onto Agnes. I don’t know the whys and wherefores of how he dumped Agnes, but I do know he started to spend more and more time with Ellen’s parents after Ellen was born. From that time on he became besotted with Ellen. Yer see what I mean about him not being capable of living alone. Ellen and her parents became like a sort of family ter him. Now he’s taken up with this widowed woman he’s got someone else to look after him. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if he announced he was getting married again, once the annulment has been finalised.
My Ted’s already been ter the solicitors. Gave them a right rollicking he did, but them sort ain’t easily frightened. Most likely they’re making as much money as they can outta the whole thing while they still can. Gawd knows how long it’d take if they was trying ter get a divorce. Most likely be too long in the tooth to care,’ she ended on a raucous laugh, then put her hand to her mouth in dismay. ‘Bleeding ’ell, I’ll be pissed if
I ’ave any more. ’ere, ’elp me get this turkey outta the oven, before it dries up.’
Ted and Ellen looked up at the sound of loud laughter coming from the kitchen.
‘Sounds like Mum’s been at the sherry again,’ Ted grinned widely, his arm tightening around Ellen’s waist. ‘You all right fer a drink, Johnny?’
John Smith glanced up absently, his thoughts wandering to a time when he and Sarah had shared many a Christmas together. Jolted out of his reverie, John put on a brave face for the young couple’s benefit, though he was already regretting accepting their kind offer. Now he was here, he mustn’t put a damper on the proceedings.
‘Thanks Ted, I’ll have another beer, please.’
While Ted fetched the beer, Ellen sat down on the arm of John’s chair, saying gently, ‘You must miss your wife terribly. I just want you to know that we won’t be offended if you want to leave early, though it would be wonderful if you could stay for the day.’
John patted Ellen’s hand affectionately. ‘You’re a lovely girl, Ellen. Ted’s a lucky man, and so am I for having such good friends. It’s a pity Agnes couldn’t be with us, though I can understand why she wanted to get away, poor soul.’ A look of sadness clouded his eyes. ‘All her life Agnes wanted to be popular, to feel important, much the same as Arthur did. Then when she achieved that aim she couldn’t handle it. It must have been very hard for her to suddenly find herself the centre of attraction. You would have thought she’d have gloried in having her name splashed all over the newspaper, and people who’d previously poked fun at her suddenly swarming round her, wanting to be her friend.
There’s an old saying that goes, “Beware of what you wish for, ’cos it might come true.” And that’s what happened to Agnes. All that she wished for came too late. That’s why she went away, she couldn’t handle being in the limelight. But I think the real reason she upped sticks was because she didn’t think she deserved the praise and fame that came after she’d put her life on the line to save Molly, because she still blamed herself for her part in the whole sordid episode.’
He fell silent, and Ellen waited, sure the solemn man had more to say, and she was right.
Toying with his empty glass John looked up at Ellen and asked, ‘I don’t suppose you know where she is, only I can’t bear to think of her in some strange hotel or boarding house all alone on Christmas day.’
Ellen shook her head. ‘No, I don’t, Johnny, I wish I did. If we knew where she was Ted would have gone to fetch her home. The last we heard from her she wrote to say she was having a nice time and would be back soon – that was nearly a month ago.’
‘What you two looking so gloomy about?’ Ted handed John another beer. ‘It’s Christmas, everyone’s happy at Christmas.’
John took the bottle of beer gratefully, hoping the alcohol would help cheer him into the festive proceedings.
‘We were just talking about Agnes, and how we’d hoped she would have come back in time for Christmas,’ Ellen answered.
The smile on Ted’s lips wavered at the mention of Agnes. He most of all wished she could have shared the special occasion with them. He still hadn’t shaken off the guilt for the awful way he had treated her, and he had a feeling he never would.
He was saved from further self-recrimination by his mother’s voice calling loudly, ‘Come on, you lot. Get yerselves up ter the table. Ellen, if yer could fetch the vegetables, Ted can start carving.’
Nora and Sadie were carrying a large platter upon which rested the golden-browned turkey and a large portion of roast potatoes. Putting the heavy tray onto the table Nora said, ‘It’s a good job Ted brought over the extra chairs, else some of us would’ve had to have our dinner standing up.’
Ellen had just finished saying grace, a ritual that was greeted with muffled glee by the Knight boys, until they were given a quick clout to the backs of their heads by an embarrassed Sadie, when they heard a loud knock on the back door.
‘Good Lord, who could that be?’ Ellen had risen to her feet.
‘Sit down. I’ll go and see who it is.’ Ted pushed her gently back onto her chair. ‘Don’t start without me, will yer?’
Bounding down the stairs, he saw a large white envelope lying on the mat, and pulled open the door. There, on the doorstep were several gaily wrapped parcels. His head swinging from left to right he saw a figure walking quickly away and called out, ‘Hey, Agnes, where yer going, yer silly cow?’
Agnes stopped in her tracks and turned to face Ted. ‘I’m sorry, Ted. I didn’t mean ter spoil yer Christmas dinner, only I just got back and I wanted ter leave the presents fer the kids.’
Ted caught at her arm and pulled her into the house, along with the parcels. ‘Get inside, fer Gawd’s sake, before we freeze ter death. Anyway, why didn’t yer let us know you was back home? Yer know we would ’ave wanted yer with us at Christmas. I don’t know why yer went away in the first place.’
With much pushing and prodding, Ted propelled the embarrassed woman up the stairs. Pushing open the door he shouted merrily, ‘Look who I found lurking outside.’
A great cry of pleasure went up as the assembled group saw who it was. But it was Molly who ran into Agnes’ arms. ‘Oh, I’m glad yer came, Agnes. It wouldn’t ’ave been the same without you, would it, Micky?’
Her face flushed, Agnes looked around the room, a sudden warmth spreading through her chilled body. She had been afraid she wouldn’t have been welcomed, especially on a day primarily reserved for family. But she saw now she had been wrong. She hadn’t been intruding. All these people were genuinely pleased to see her. It was an experience she wasn’t used to, and she had to swallow the lump in her throat before answering, ‘Yer sure I ain’t disturbing yer?’
Ellen started towards her, but it was John who pulled up the one remaining chair and placed it beside him. ‘Here you go, old girl. You sit with me.’
Her legs unsteady, Agnes sat down as Ellen said grace once again for the benefit of the late visitor. With the formalities over, Ted began carving the turkey, while Nora and Sadie made sure the children had enough vegetables on their plates, much to their disgust. But before the assembled group could start on the tantalising meal Ted rose to his feet. Looking around the table to make sure everyone had a drink he raised his glass.
‘Merry Christmas, everyone. To friends and family, all together on the best day of the year.’ His eyes swept around the table, but it was Agnes his eyes lingered on as if he were speaking to her alone. And that kindly gesture created in Agnes a feeling of belonging – a feeling of being loved, and for a moment she feared she would break down. Then she felt a strong hand grip hers and looked up into John’s face and the moment passed.
There was a tinkle of glasses touching, then a resounding ‘Merry Christmas’ filled the room before the hungry group began their meal.
Acknowledgements
For my parents, Peggy and Bill Masterson. With love, respect, pride and finally gratitude for always being there when I need them.
These sentiments are echoed by my siblings (listed in order of age): Tony, Maggi, Billy, Helen, Michael, Teresa and Peter.
To my husband, Dave, for his support during a difficult period in my life. Also to my doctor, Ian Hannah, for putting up with my weekly visits. Without them, I might not have finished this book.
And also a special thank you to my agent, David Grossman, and my editor, Barbara Boote, for their patience and understanding.
First published in Great Britain in 2002 by Little, Brown
This edition published in the United Kingdom in 2017 by
Canelo Digital Publishing Limited
57 Shepherds Lane
Beaconsfield, Bucks HP9 2DU
United Kingdom
Copyright © Anna King, 2002
The moral right of Anna King to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act, 1988.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be rep
roduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopy, recording, or any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.
A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.
ISBN 9781788630115
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, organizations, places and events are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or locales is entirely coincidental.
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