“Well, I wish you both the best of luck. I just worry about you is all.”
I smile at him. “I know. But you don’t have to worry.” I cross my fingers where they rest on the leather seat.
We chat most of the drive into the city, except for when I’m on the phone with Ava—who called because she wanted to make sure “my husband was still giving me a good dicking.” I swear sometimes I wonder how her brain works. I assured her that I was well taken care of.
I hang up with her once Darius pulls up in front of the Pembrooke building. It’s a beautiful summer day and the tall concrete building contrasts against the bright blue sky.
My meeting with Sally goes well and we get some decisions made about the event. I’m feeling good when I leave her department and head up to my dad’s office a little early.
His assistant isn’t at her desk, but the door is slightly ajar, so I knock lightly and swing it open. I step into my dad’s office and see him talking to Richard, the head of the finance department. Neither of them looks happy. In fact, it looks as though they’re quietly arguing—until my dad looks over Richard’s shoulder and sees me.
“Sweetheart.” Dad smiles, but it isn’t sincere. “Richard, we can finish this conversation later.”
“Sure thing.” He turns and faces me. “Mazzy, good to see you. Congratulations on your marriage.”
“Thanks, Richard.” I give him a quick hug and he leaves the office. “Everything okay?”
“Fine.” My dad gives me a hug then a kiss on the cheek. “Let’s have a seat. Mallory had your favorite lobster rolls brought in.”
“Oooh, can’t wait!”
We sit on the couch. The takeout containers are on the coffee table.
“So how’s married life? Nick treating you well?” Dad’s eyes shine with concern.
“He is. He hasn’t changed much in all these years. Still a great guy.” I open the lid of my takeout container and the scent of lobster wafts out. “Mmm, I can already tell this is going to be delicious.”
“I’m glad to hear it. I feel awful putting you in this position in the first place. I’m glad you’re with someone like him if it had to be this way.”
“You know I’d do anything for the people here. Lots of them have been a part of my life since I was born. I don’t want to see them lose their jobs any more than you do.”
He gives my hand a squeeze. “What did I do to deserve you, huh?”
I smile at him. I’ve always been a daddy’s girl. Ever since I was little, I looked up to my father as though he could do no wrong, and for the most part, it’s been true. Sure, we had our arguments, especially during my teenage years when I thought a crop top equaled freedom, but he’s always been a stand-up guy.
“Actually, I think this whole thing may have been for the best. It’s let me rebuild my relationship with Nick. I don’t know what might come of it yet, but it feels good to have him back in my life.”
“That’s excellent.” He bites his lobster roll, and I do the same, moaning around the food in my mouth. “Have you had a chance to touch base with Harold and find out what the procedure will be for you to get your money once the six months is up?”
“Not really. I mean, he knows I got married. I sent him a copy of the marriage certificate, but I haven’t talked to him since.” I take another bite of my lunch.
“You might want to. You know, just so the money can pass off to you as soon as possible after the six months is up.”
I frown. “Dad, is Pembrooke Financial going to be able to last the six months?”
“Of course, sweetheart. I just don’t want us to be caught unprepared when the time comes, that’s all.”
Something in his tone spurs me to question whether that’s really true. But my dad has never lied to me. Why would he start now?
Thirty-Eight
Nick
I have a quick break to grab something to eat while I’m on shift, so I buy one of the shitty chicken sandwiches from the cafeteria and take it up to Ollie’s office on the off chance he might have ten minutes to shoot the shit with me.
Rowan is at her desk when I enter the reception area, and she scowls as soon as she sees me. “I heard you went and got yourself hitched. I suppose I don’t need to leave my husband anymore. Our love affair is over?”
I chuckle. “Sorry, doll, turns out only she can make an honest man out of me.”
She shakes her head and clucks her tongue as though she’s disappointed, and I laugh again.
“Ollie have a few minutes for his best friend?” I ask.
“You’re in luck, his next patient canceled.”
I frown because very often in Ollie’s case—his patients being children with heart issues—that means there was some kind of emergency.
Rowan must read the concern on my face because she says, “Everything’s fine. He had a big test at school and it was just a checkup, so he rescheduled.”
“Gotcha.”
“Go on in.” She gestures toward the closed door.
I knock twice and open the door. “Want to watch me eat my lunch?”
Ollie looks up from the medical journal he’s reading. “Sure thing. I’ve been meaning to call and check in, but I’ve been knee-deep in wedding planning with Jemma.”
“Ah, see, that’s why you should do what I did and get married on the fly with no guests.”
“No one should do what you did.” He stands from his desk and I close the door before heading over to the couch and taking a seat. I chuckle as I unwrap my sandwich and Ollie sits across from me. “How are things going with Mazzy?”
“Surprisingly good.” I bite into my sandwich with gusto. What can I say? Having someone else give you an orgasm beats the four knuckle shuffle any day.
“Really? I’ll be honest—I’m surprised.”
“Why?” I pick up my napkin to wipe my face.
He shrugs. “You held on to your anger and animosity this long. I figured you’d be stubborn and keep it up.”
I shake my head. “Life’s too short. I don’t want to spend the next five months miserable.” I take another bite.
He nods but seems contemplative. “And what happens after the five months are up?”
I shrug and finish chewing. “I don’t know. I’m trying to take it one day at a time.”
“Are you guys…” He waves in some kind of gesture I don’t get. We’re adults. I’m thinking he can say the word.
“Fucking?”
His face goes pale. “Sure, fucking.”
“Not yet. We’re working our way there.” I waggle my eyebrows.
“You’re like a fourteen-year-old,” he says, shaking his head.
“Not true. If I were, then I’d be sporting a hard-on just talking about sex.” I wink and take another big bite of my sandwich.
“Do you think you can do all this—sleep with her, live with her, spend time with her—without falling for her again?”
I don’t want to tell him that I’m already falling. I haven’t even admitted that to myself. I’m too scared I’ll freak out and ruin what might be a good thing because I’m afraid she’s going to hurt me. “I guess we’ll see.”
“Nick—”
“I know what you’re gonna say and I appreciate it. I really do. But can you just focus on the positives and not the worst-case scenario here? I get that that doesn’t come naturally to you, but it’s what I really need from my friend right now.”
He shuts his mouth and nods. “Sure thing. Sorry.”
“Great. Listen, Marlowe sent me a copy of the article that’s going to appear in the magazine next month, so I sent it onto Schwartz.”
“Oh yeah, what’d he say?”
“He was pretty pleased with how I’ve managed to turn around my image. He said the board is too.”
“That’s good news, right?”
“Great news. Thanks again for setting it up.” I shove the last chunk of my sandwich into my mouth.
“Don’t mention it.”
I crumple the wrapper and the napkins into a ball and shoot it like a basketball toward the garbage beside his desk. It hits the rim and falls inside. “Three points.” I stand from the couch. “I gotta get back to the ER.”
“All right. Have a good one.”
“Will do.” I walk toward his office door and wave without looking at him. My hand is on the handle when he says my name. I turn around to face him. “Yeah?”
“I’m rooting for you two. I always thought you were good for each other.”
“Thanks, man.” I exit his office and say a quick goodbye to Rowan, then I head back to the ER.
I think Mazzy and I are good for each other too. I just hope it stays that way.
Thirty-Nine
Mazzy
“So what are you up to today?” Nick asks while we share coffee a couple of mornings later.
“I’m going to walk a dog.” I say it with pride in my voice as though this is a real accomplishment.
“I wasn’t aware you had a dog.”
I laugh. “I don’t. I’m walking someone else’s.”
He stops blowing on his coffee. “Okay, explain.”
“I was thinking about all the things I like, and since animals is one of them, I thought maybe I might enjoy being a dog walker.” I shrug. “It sounds stupid, I know, but I’m thinking if I like it, maybe I can fill a need somehow for people who need a hand. Like seniors or the disabled. People on a fixed income.”
Nick sips his coffee and nods. “That doesn’t sound like a bad idea actually.”
“Thank you.” I give him a cheesy grin. I’ve been giving him a lot of those over the past week. Regular orgasms will do that to a girl.
“So where is this dog walking experience taking place and how did you find someone’s dog to walk?”
“I put an ad up on Rover. It’s actually only about a five-minute walk from here. His name is Randy, and he’s a Golden Retriever.”
“Those are usually good dogs. When do you have to leave?”
I flip my phone over on the counter. “Now actually. I’ll be back. Wish me luck.”
Nick stands from where he’s leaning on the counter. “Listen, I was hoping to take you out this weekend, but I wanted to check to see if you had plans.”
I cock my head and step toward him. “Like on a date?”
“Exactly like that.” He kisses my forehead.
“I’d love it.” There goes the cheesy grin again. I have no control of it.
“Perfect. I’ll figure something out and get everything arranged.”
“You’re the best.” I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him down for a kiss. He slips me his tongue, but before things can get too heated, I pull away. “I’d better go before I get distracted.”
He chuckles and lets his hands drop from my waist. “Have a good time. I hope this one works out better for you than cooking did.”
I give him a fake glare and leave the kitchen. Once my shoes are on, I put my phone in my back pocket and head out. I’d looked up and memorized how to get there yesterday. On the phone, the woman whose dog I’m walking sounds like a cute little old lady. Apparently, she used to walk Randy herself, but she finds it more difficult now as she’s gotten older. She’s afraid he’s going to throw her off balance and cause her to fall.
I’m happy to give her a hand. I’ve never had a dog, but I’ve spent some time over the years volunteering in shelters or other charity efforts related to animals, so I feel pretty confident that I can take a dog for a walk.
The house is a cute little bungalow—well cared for with light yellow siding, navy shutters, and a cedar hatch roof. I knock on the door and hear who I assume is Randy barking behind the door.
A minute later, a sweet-looking elderly lady opens the door. “Hello, you must be Mazzy.”
“I am. Nice to meet you.” I hold out my hand and she shakes it.
Her grip is frail, and her fingers look as though they’re racked by arthritis. No wonder she needs someone to help her with Randy.
“Good to meet you. And this is Randy. I’ve already got him on a leash for you.” She passes me a leash and a large Golden Retriever steps out onto the porch, panting and wagging his tail.
“Terrific.” I bend down and let him smell my hand. “We’re going to be fast friends, aren’t we, Randy?”
He barks as if he understands what I’m saying.
“And here are the bags for his… you know.”
I take them from her and smile. “Wonderful. Anything I should know before I head out?”
She shakes her head. “I don’t think so. You’re going to be a good boy, aren’t you, Randy?” She gives him a look that gives me pause like maybe he’s not always a good boy.
I have visions of Jemma’s dog. The night we were out with her friends, she told me about how her dog goes crazy every time he sees a squirrel and he’s impossible to pull away.
“All right, well, we’ll see you in about a half an hour.”
“Have fun, dear.” She waves as we make our way down the porch steps.
Things go well for about the first two minutes. Randy smells every blade of grass we pass and pees on a fire hydrant, then a stop signpost, then again on a tree.
Jeez, this dog must drink a lot of water. Things take a turn for the worse after he’s done peeing. When he stops, at first I think he’s just stopping to sniff something, so I continue walking and tug the leash. Then the next thing I know, his paws are on my shoulder blades and I feel frenetic movement from behind.
Oh my God, is this dog humping me?
I push his paws off my shoulders and turn around. “Bad boy. No, Randy!”
He pays no heed to my words, trying to mount me from the front now.
“Ack!”
I back up, but he’s persistent. Any time he gets close to me, his hips start moving and his tongue hangs out the side of his mouth.
A car honks on its way by, some teenagers yelling and laughing out the window with their phones pointing in my direction. It distracts me for a second, and Randy sees his opportunity and pounces as if he’s a damn cat, coming up to my side and humping my leg.
“Oh my God, no, get off, Randy!”
I don’t want to hurt the dog, so I try to get away as gently as I can, but Randy is not having it. He’s panting and his hips could win a Hula-Hoop competition, he’s moving them so fast.
We spent the entire walk with me trying to prevent Randy from getting his jollies off on me. By the time I arrive back at the house, I’m sweating like crazy, half my hair is loose from my ponytail, and I have scratch marks on my legs. Stupid me wore shorts.
I knock on the door. Rather than humping me, Randy sits calmly at my side, the picture of perfect canine behavior. What the hell, dog?
The door swings open and Randy rushes inside, so I let the leash drop.
“How did it go?”
“Um… it was interesting. Randy was pretty… excited the whole time.”
She gives me a knowing smile that deepens the creases on her face. “Ah yes, he can get like that on his walks. Something about the fresh air gets him all riled up.”
“Is he always so… excited?” I ask.
“Well that’s why he’s named Randy, dear.”
I arrive back at Nick’s house wanting to do nothing more than take a long hot shower. I’ve never felt so dirty in my life.
The TV is on, so I head into the living room and find Nick on the sofa, unshed tears glistening in his eyes.
“What happened? Is everything okay?” I step into the room.
Nick blinks as if he just realized I’m there and looks from me to the TV. That’s when I realize he’s watching Grey’s Anatomy. And it’s the episode where McDreamy dies.
I laugh. I can’t help myself. I sobbed like a baby when I watched this episode, but Nick has insisted he doesn’t really like the show, that he’s just watching it because he likes to make fun of it.
“I knew you loved this show,” I say, laug
hing.
He scowls at me. “You’d have to be dead inside not to let this episode affect you.”
That only makes me laugh harder for some reason.
“Are you just about done?” he says, turning off the TV.
“I’m sorry. It’s just after the ridiculous way I spent the last hour, this is the icing on the cake.”
He stands and walks over to me. “Do tell.” He looks at the scratches on my legs and bends down to get a better look. “What the hell happened?”
“The dog scratched me.”
“We should put some ointment on those.” He straightens back up. “Did you get in a fight with the dog?”
“No, the dog tried to hump me the entire walk. And I mean the entire walk, Nick! It was like I was a blow-up doll for canines.”
Nick laughs. And apparently he can’t stop, just like I couldn’t.
“What did you do?” he somehow asks while laughing.
“I tried to get him off me, but he just wouldn’t stop. His hips were going like this.” I give him a demonstration. “And his tongue was hanging out of his mouth. All the cars that drove by saw it. It was mortifying.”
“I’m picturing it in my head and it’s hilarious, but I bet it was even funnier in person.” He’s holding his gut while laughing so hard.
“Are you just about finished?” I cross my arms and pout.
“C’mere. I promise I won’t try to hump you,” he says with a laugh and pulls me into him. I roll my eyes but go willingly. “What did you tell his owner?”
“I told her I don’t think dog walking is for me. That was enough to turn me off of the idea.”
“Sounds like only one of you was turned off.”
I smack his chest. “Enough.”
“Hey, you don’t tell anyone I almost cried at Grey’s Anatomy and I won’t tell anyone about your dog humping incident. Deal?”
My forehead drops to his chest and I chuckle. “Deal.”
We seal the deal with a kiss.
Forty
Don't Mind If I Do : A Fake Marriage Romantic Comedy Page 17