by Jane Smith
“No,” she pleaded, pouting. “It means we have 15 minutes. Don't go yet, I want to hear the rest of your story.” He had an animated way of speaking and his storytelling was phenomenal. He only included relevant details, he ordered everything to maximize the thrill of discovery, he dropped clues without revealing that they were clues, and she found herself hanging on his every word.
He smiled and finished his story as her timer beeped again. The hour was up. She asked him to stay until the next one arrived. She didn't want him leaving any sooner than he had to and even though she’d already decided that she wanted to see him again, he was ten times more appealing than #1 was and the odds that #6 would be this interesting were, so far, 1 in 5.
Fifteen minutes later, she realized that #6 was probably flaking on her and she agreed to cross the street to the wine bar for a drink with him. One extra hour with him sounded like the best part of her day.
Even that hour went by quickly. They held hands across the table and she knew she wanted to go to bed with him. She wanted to try making it to #1's house for dinner still because, even though going home with any man on a first date sounded like a bad idea, a girl’s gotta have dinner, right?
She liked this Michael guy so much and she didn't want him to think she was easy or slutty in a bad way. She wanted their date to end with him wishing he had more time with her. So when the timer on her watch beeped, she used every ounce of willpower she had to say goodbye.
As they crossed the street to the coffee shop, he guided her with his hand at the small of her back and she melted inside. She leaned in very close to him and, instead of kissing him, said “I want to kiss you so badly right now, but I'm not going to because I don't want to be the jerk that flakes on a coffee date with no notice, and also because I want our first kiss to last a very long time. Thank you for a wonderful afternoon. I hope I didn't scare you with my strange itinerary today. I definitely want to see you again. And again and again.”
He said “text me tomorrow” as he walked away, with a big goofy smile on his face and a hunger that wouldn't be quenched until he'd fucked the daylights out of her.
Chapter 11
Kelsey sat in the car to call Amanda and debrief her on her mental notes from the day. They laughed at the Motocross guy, gushed about #5 together, and plotted an approach to the dinner invitation from #1.
There was no doubt in Amanda’s mind about the appropriate course of action. “I mean, you have to go. If you're being efficient about this, this is a second date. You've only invested in the first date to get there, if you don't go to this, there won't be another chance because he's going to suggest you come out again and you can't afford that. Just power through it. I know you have to work in the morning, but you've pulled all-nighters before, remember that limo company website project? You hardly slept at all that week and you came through it just fine. For $650. This could be worth infinitely more. The girls and I are fine, just do it.”
Kelsey got off the phone with Amanda and decided to call #1 instead of sending a text message. Mr. Low-Tech hates texting and prefers phone calls. Normally, Kelsey hated phone calls, but this was work. It's just a different kind of job, she reminded herself.
With the address in hand, she followed the GPS instructions to a tee. She couldn’t afford wrong turns or misdirection.
***
Kelsey sat around the fanciest dinner table she'd ever seen and looked at the feast; a mouth-watering array of dishes Kelsey could never afford to serve. A huge, fresh wild-caught salmon, brushed with a little olive oil and herbs then grilled to perfection, sat on top of a handmade blown-glass platter. One serving of Kelsey’s new favorite baby arugula salad with goat cheese, dried cranberries, and a balsamic dressing sat in the bottom of a bamboo bowl. A few leftover slices of grilled eggplant and peppers sat on a handmade stoneware plate from Guatemala. Finally, there were four glasses of wine that Charles said was from Burgundy, a region in France. He'd met the vintner and had dinner with his family in 1987. This bottle of wine was almost as old as she was. She'd only seen dinner setups like this in movies and on cooking shows. She couldn't believe she was sitting around this table with these people.
Charles' neighbors seemed nice enough. Adam was an attorney who contracted with Microsoft and other tech companies and Cami was a former investment advisor who had recently decided to go back to law school. Kelsey had a hard time staying engaged in their conversation about their recent trip to Ireland and their upcoming trip to Johannesburg. She'd never actually been anywhere, except in her fantasies. They asked a lot of questions about her work and her life. She lit up when she was talking about the kids in her class and her days as a freelance writer. She seemed to get along with them really well in spite of having never traveled anywhere, never finishing college, and basically living in a parallel universe.
They were ambassadors to a social class she’d only read about and visiting their world was like a vacation she didn’t know she needed. In Bend, everyone had some sort of financial struggle. But these people didn’t have a care in the world. It was refreshing, and steeled her resolve to move to the city. She imagined that once she got out of Bend, she, too, could live in that universe.
Her mind kept returning to the time she'd spent with Michael. He would have managed these conversations just fine. She was struggling to not sound uninformed, ignorant, or just plain stupid. She was learning a lot. People with money have a different perspective on the world. Luckily, there was tons of wine and while it might not have made her sound any smarter, it did take away some of the sting of being the least-educated, least-accomplished person in the room.
When it was time to say goodbye to Adam and Cami, she excused herself to the restroom. She marveled at the huge bathtub and double shower, the granite and copper detailing and double sinks. She washed her hands at the sink and scraped a bit of arugula off her front tooth, wondering how long it had been there.
Afterward, she drifted easily into Charles' bedroom on a cloud of drunken amazement and had the most uneventful sex of her life. His body was hairier than she expected; he was like a teddy bear, only stiff and uninviting. She had no idea that his stamina came from a pill and, while it was nice to have sex with a human rather than a vibrator, she found herself pretending she was having more fun than she really was. When the awkwardness and boredom became overwhelming, she pretended to get very exhausted and sleepy, praising him for wearing her out and asking if it was OK to rest for a little while before she left.
He woke her up with a bellowed “Good morning, sleeping beauty” at the ungodly hour of 4:00 in the morning. Her usual routine involved an hour or so of complete silence, sipping coffee and reading a romance novel in her bathrobe while her mind adjusted to the world of the living. His voice was like the most obnoxious alarm clock. Most alarm clocks scream, “Eek, eek, wake up or you’ll be late.” But this one, by contrast, said, “Hey baby, I’m a dirty old man and you just spent the night with me even though we just met. And guess what, you’re still broke and you’re going to be late for work.”
She apologized profusely for staying the whole night and tried, gently, to stave off conversation by giving nonverbal cues that the noise wasn’t appreciated. She wiped her eyes, rubbed her temples, and pretended she was hung over instead of simply tortured by the sound of his voice.
He was exuberant and boisterous and getting ready to head out on an early-morning hike. He was a morning person. She was a slightly hung over coffee lover who probably had a medical need for solitude, silence, and anything but the sound of his voice so early in the morning. Kelsey liked “morning people” in theory, but didn’t want to apply them to her daily life. Plus, she needed to get in touch with Amanda, who was probably worried sick, and then drive for the next four hours to get to work in time for her shift. She had to leave NOW.
She could tell Charles was sad that she wasn't up for a hike, but he understood that she had to get to work. “Some parents have to drop their kids off super early befor
e their commute and I only have to open the school twice a month.” All of that was true, and luckily today wasn't an opening day for her, but she did have to be there by 8.
As she ducked out the door, he slipped a check into her hand and said “Thank you for the most wonderful evening I have had in a long time. I'd really love to see you again. This is a gift, I hope it makes your life a little easier.”
She stuffed it into her pocket without even looking at it, then she paused her rushed pace and said “We will definitely see each other again. I’m so glad we met. Thank YOU for the amazing dinner. Your friends are lovely and that was the best evening I think I have ever had in my entire life.”
She scuttled out the door and sped away, pausing to peek at the check at the stop sign.
Chapter 12
Cami crawled into bed next to Adam, hanging her bathrobe on the bedpost. “Why didn’t he tell her he lives in Seattle?”
Adam shook his head. “Why does Charles do anything?”
Cami smiled. “He’s afraid she won’t fall in love with him if he lives outside of Portland?”
Adam fluffed his pillow up and turned to his wife. “Maybe, who knows? She seemed really sweet. I’ve never seen him with anyone so down-to-earth. Did you notice how attentive she was to him? I don’t think he’s ever been with anyone like that. I’m afraid he’s going to fall madly in love with her and she’s going to hate him. I mean, he’s not showing his true colors right now. He didn’t even lecture her about the wine. Usually he drones on about the soil and the weather the year the grapes grew.”
Cami brought her hands up to Adam’s face and brushed a tuft of hair out of his eyes. “I feel like we should warn her. She’s too sweet to get mixed up with him. I’m afraid he’s going to ruin her. I’m pretty sure preschool teachers hardly make any money and I’m sure he’s sympathetic to that. He’s going to put her in an awkward financial situation and she’ll feel indebted to him.”
Adam nodded his head. “There’s no way we can prevent that. And who knows, maybe she’ll really like him. Maybe she’ll be good for him.”
Cami pursed her lips. “I don’t know. She’s hiding something about her first marriage. I’m willing to bet it was an abusive situation, just based on her attentiveness. She’s not going to want a serious relationship, and he doesn’t know how to respect people’s boundaries. If I’m reading her correctly, she’s not used to protecting her boundaries, either. I smell trouble.”
Adam’s sleepy voice ended the conversation. “Yes, counsel. Your testimony has been accepted.”
Chapter 13
She instantly went into shock. She was shaking, crying, and gasping for breath when the car behind her honked. It was unreasonable to sit at a stop sign long enough to process the news that you're $10,000 richer. She still didn't have gas money to get home, but she had a check in her hand that would make life infinitely easier for maybe a lifetime. It was definitely enough to hire an attorney for the divorce and in this instant, it seemed that all of her prayers were answered. This was more than she made in 3 months teaching preschool. Teaching preschool! She couldn't be late.
She found herself at a gas station on the highway, fake-calling Grandma in exchange for a tank of gas and a $5 coffee. Banks still wouldn’t be open for a few hours. Today must be the luckiest day of her life. She made it to work with 4 minutes to spare and found herself lost in thought, imagining Sundays where she could drive into the city, visit with men, and come home with ten thousand dollars a week. She'd alter her work schedule to have Mondays off. Amanda would be able to catch up with Sarabeth’s medical bills. She’d never have to scramble to keep her own utilities paid. Maybe she could even save up enough to buy a house of her own. Life was perfect. And it no longer mattered that she wasn't getting child support. Who needs it when you're getting $10,000 for one night of amazing dinner and substandard sex? Why didn’t more women do this? Maybe she could quit teaching preschool and finish writing her novel? The possibilities were endless.
***
Amanda's eyes filled with tears when she saw the text from Kelsey. It was a photo of a check with more zeroes than she had ever seen. Was it even legal to write a check for that amount?
Amanda nearly collapsed as she realized that the 10% fee she’d offered her friend as a favor ended up being worth $1,000. She had never made $1000 in one day, or even an entire week. It hardly seemed ethical to accept so much for a day spent baking cookies, hanging out with little girls, and reading The Hungry Caterpillar a thousand times.
Michael couldn't get Kelsey out of his head. He'd never met anyone bold enough to plan so many dates in one day and couldn't wait to see her again. Only she hadn't texted him all day. Had he misread her? Was he wrong about the chemistry he’d felt with her? You can’t feel chemistry, dumb ass. She’s hot and she’s game. Was she this amazing even with people she wasn't interested in?
He loved that she was so honest about her ridiculous dating scheme. He didn’t even feel like a sucker for going along with the plan. Instead, it fueled a latent competitive streak inside of him that rarely surfaced under normal circumstances. He didn’t doubt that she could keep up with him sexually, even though it remained to be seen. She could certainly keep up with him in conversation. He wanted to know more about her, he found himself mentally revisiting their time at the wine bar and admiring how easily she was able to weave innuendo into even the safest of topics. She had a habit of unconsciously stroking the stem of her wine glass in a way that made him wish he was a wine glass.
Except she had told him she was interested, and she didn't seem like the kind of girl to lie about that. After all, she was honest about her crazy marathon coffee-date adventure. Most women aren’t as driven by sex as she claimed to be and he could relate to that aspect of her personality.
In truth, he’d been expecting someone a little more slutty after having read her profile, but when he realized that she was a sweet and clean preschool teacher, his heart melted. This innocent teacher was new to the world of dating and he was just as concerned as she was that she’d end up unsatisfied, sleeping around with several men who didn’t meet her needs before she found someone who did. He was determined not to allow that to happen.
He was completely confident in his bedroom skills and knew that he’d be good for her. And as a bonus, she seemed to truly be engaged in conversation with him, asking excellent questions and laughing at all the right things. He felt so invigorated after meeting her and was dying to see if she was truly going to reach out and text him like she said she would.
And it's not like he asked for the status update, she’d volunteered the information that she wanted to see him again.
“She will text me today,” he reassured himself and tried not to obsess about what it would feel like to have a handful of her hair in his hands, pressing her into his mattress while he made her beautiful body shudder again and again. Those were her words, “Again and again.” He hoped her sex drive was as ravenous as his. He was often disappointed to find that women “couldn't handle” him and he suspected she could. He hoped he was right. He was dying to find out.
His phone vibrated in his pocket and he sighed in relief. Annoyed with himself for feeling so giddy, he looked around the conference room at the rest of his team before peeking into his pocket. It was her. Whew. He couldn't answer the text right away. It was her turn to wait by the phone. This was going to take some time.
Chapter 14
Secretly, Amanda was glad to learn that Kelsey had left work early and deposited the check. The existence of the check was mind-blowing, but discovering that it was real and that the bank honored it was even more of a thrill. This was, by far, the best babysitting gig in history.
Amanda’s power would be cut off if she didn't pay it by 5pm and she didn't want to bother Kelsey with that information, so she was extra grateful to hear that the cash was ready for her to pick up.
Amanda left Kelsey to sleep so she could get her power bill paid and promised to
return with a pizza for the girls so Kelsey could sleep longer. For once, she didn't need to get online to grab writing gigs. Kelsey and the girls snuggled up in bed for movie night in the middle of the day and Kelsey slept like a baby while the girls watched The Lion King for the millionth time and Kelsey dreamed of never having to worry about money again.
When Amanda returned with the pizza, Kelsey was awake enough to recount the events and they sat on the porch overlooking the snowy desert and sharing a bottle of wine.
Amanda wanted to know all the juicy details. “Why did you go to dinner with this guy when the other guy was so sexy?”
Kelsey didn’t have a good answer for that, she’d been asking herself the same thing and all she could come up with was, “Well, Charles asked first and I really didn’t know it would end that way. I mean, it worked out in the end. Who could have guessed that he’d give me 10k on our first date?”
“Second date. You’re not a slut.” Amanda corrected. She continued, “And when are you going back?”
Kelsey shook her head. “I don’t know. I mean, I really want to see Michael again, but Charles is already emailing me and asking me to come back next weekend. He wants to take me hiking, but it’s so cold.”