by Sax, Cynthia
Her yipping dog escaped the tote to jump on the console. Slipping on the metal trim, he fell on his wiggling ass. Clumsy mutt. “You’re worrying your dog.” Trust my mate to have a pet. “What’s his name?”
She didn’t answer.
“I wasn’t much bigger than him when you first met me, remember?” North undid Ember’s hair, pulled out the pins, and her thick curls tumbled around her shoulders, releasing a scent that was all her.
“You insisted I come home with you, just to have a bite to eat.” He chuckled, recalling how stubborn she was, even then. “And you told everyone I was your protector. I took that role seriously, you know. You were so small, so innocent.” He caressed his mate’s rounded spine, her tremors slowly easing. “I was convinced you needed me.” Does she still need me?
“I think I fell in love with you then,” he confessed. “You were my whole world, Ember.” And when she left, she took that world with her, crushing his soul under her dainty heels. “You were all I had, all I’ve ever had.” He rubbed soothing circles into her shoulders.
Silence filled the truck’s cab, broken only by their breathing, even the dog respecting the quiet. North closed his eyes, savoring her scent and the feel of her body pressed against his, her curves fitting perfectly against his hard muscle.
This was what had kept him alive during those months of imprisonment. This was what he would never find with another, this sense of belonging, of acceptance. When Ember looked at him, he didn’t feel like a stray. He felt strong and powerful and wanted.
What happened to her? He petted her reddish-brown curls with a gentleness his bouncer buddies would mock. How can I fix this?
“Killer,” Ember whispered. “His name is Killer.” She reached out and cupped her little dog’s head.
“Killer.” North hugged Ember closer to him, loving her sense of humor and relieved that her crying had stopped. Why had it started? “What’s going on, Ember?” She stiffened. “I said I’d protect you, but I can’t do that if I don’t know what’s going on.”
Ember pushed away from him. “Nothing.” She scooped up Killer and slid over the console to her own seat. North allowed her to go because he didn’t know what else to do. “Those were bad memories from the past.”
The past. North shifted gears and backed out of the parking space. Silver chains. He drove with one eye on the road and the other on the she-wolf huddled against the passenger door. The Chihuahua licked the tears on her cheeks, his antics drawing a ghost of a smile from Ember. Her father.
North tensed. “Did your father restrain you?” Why would he do that? The pit of his stomach froze, his body temperature dropping to subzero. I’m an ass. The Ember he knew, the Ember he loved, would have defended him… against her father, his beta, his omegas, the world. “You were chained because of me.”
She sighed, a bone-weary sound. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
No denial. North drove, his thoughts dark and grim. “I’ll wait, Ember. I’ve waited this long for you. For us.”
“There is no us.” Ember turned away from him, staring out the window at the passing homes, petting her dog.
Patience. North focused on the road, vividly aware of the female next to him, her gentle curves, her classic profile, her womanly scent.
She straightened as he pulled the truck into the driveway. “North?” She gazed at the house, her mouth partially open and her eyes wide, wonder softening her beautiful face.
His heart clenched, her reaction worth all of his efforts. North parked the truck and swallowed hard, clearing the emotional lump in his throat. “This is our home, Ember.”
“Your home.” Her sadness returned, dousing the light in her brown eyes, and North regretted the loss of the happy-go-lucky girl he once knew. “Pink siding?”
“Bungalow, not too big, not too small, just right for a family of four.” He recited the features of her girlhood dream house. “White picket fence, basketball hoop attached to the garage, a tire swing in the back.”
“Really?” She scooped a surprisingly docile Killer into the tote before exiting the truck.
Aren’t Chihuahuas supposed to be hyperactive? North strode around the truck. What’s wrong with him? He met the dog’s gaze, and Killer backed into his bag, hiding from him.
Some guard dog. North snorted. He couldn’t guard his own ass.
Ember didn’t notice the interaction, wandering up the painstakingly maintained path. “I didn’t know a house like this existed.”
It hadn’t. North followed her. He’d created it, a part of him, a silly romantic part, knowing she’d return to him. “Do you like it?”
“Yes.” Her lips drooped, and he yearned to kiss her until she smiled again. “Too much. I’m not staying, North. You should know that.”
“And I’m not letting you go. You should know that.” North leveled a hard glance on her, and she dipped her head, her gaze dropping to the pebbles around his feet.
The old Ember would have argued with him. This Ember appeared ready to run again. He gritted his teeth. Never again. She’s mine to keep.
Killer whined and the tote vibrated. “Your dog needs a patch of grass.” North waved his hand at their front lawn, willing to sacrifice the thick, green turf to her pet’s needs.
“Thank you.” Ember set the Chihuahua down and watched over him, her face soft with caring. “I found him at the pound. No one wanted him.” She shook her head, her reddish-brown curls bouncing against her cheeks. “I can’t figure out why.”
And she’ll never figure it out. North gazed at the dog, another stray like him. Killer limped around the perimeter of the lawn, marking his territory, the process slow and painful. Even if I told her he was a cripple, she wouldn’t see it. “Not everyone sees the world like you do.”
Chapter Three
Ember sat in a wicker loveseat on the back patio with North’s big body beside her, and Killer already tucked up on a folded towel asleep inside the house. Her dream house. She crossed her arms, hugging her stomach, resting her fingertips on the edges of her scars, a physical reminder that the dream would never come true.
Wolves howled, calling for North to join them. “Your pack?”
“Some of the guys from the club.” He shrugged, nursing the beer in his hand. “It’s a nice night, full moon.” North glanced upward at the star-filled sky, yearning on his rugged face. “Do you want to go for a run?”
She did, but she wasn’t brave enough yet to face his rejection. “Not tonight.” Tonight, she’d pretend they were forever, that his love would last, that she remained the perfect wolf of his memories. “I want to do… other things.” Ember gave him a shy smile.
North set down the beer bottle on the small table, the ring of glass against glass announcing his interest. “Mate things?” He pulled her into his arms until she straddled his waist, his cock hard under his dress pants, and she nodded, unable to trust her voice. “Hmmm…” His low rumble swept over her like the deepest caress. “I like that.”
He brushed his lips against hers, the stubble on his chin sending shivers of sensation across her skin. She curled her fingers around his nape and leaned into him, pressing her breasts into his muscular chest.
“You’re so beautiful.” The moon reflected in his dark eyes.
I was beautiful. She pushed away the regret. “Kiss me, North.” Make me forget.
Their lips met, the pressure reassuringly firm, and she opened to him eagerly. He stroked his tongue along hers, caressing her flesh, his mouth tasting of hops, his fingers cupping her face. Mine. Her wolf prowled inside her, testing her barriers.
She slid her hands under his T-shirt, the muscles in his stomach rippling against her fingertips. He was warm, enticing, and she spread her fingers, yearning to touch more of him, all of him, to rub her scent into his skin, to claim him as hers. He growled, mouthing over her chin, down her neck.
More. Ember tugged his shirt over his head, tousling his brown hair, exposing a tanned chest covered with
dark hair. She licked his scar, swiping her tongue over each ridge, capturing the salt of his skin.
North growled, the deep sound crazing her wolf, and he stripped her suit jacket off, the buttons bouncing off the patio tiles. The cool night air hit her scarred back and she froze, the fear of rejection clearing her desire-filled haze. What am I doing? He’ll know. He’ll see.
As though reading her misgivings, North captured her mouth, scattering her thoughts with the force of his kiss. He fed on her, devoured her, until her need for him overrode self-preservation. His big hands spanned her back, his fingertips rubbing into her scars, yet he didn’t pull away, instead drawing her nearer, crushing her breasts against his chest.
One last time. She reached down and unfastened his pants, feeling along his erection. He groaned into her mouth and lifted his ass, allowing her to tug his pants and underwear down, freeing him.
God, he’s huge. She wrapped her fingers around his shaft, relishing the feel of him, pressed thick and heavy into her palm. He nibbled along her collarbone and over her right breast, his lips brushing teasingly close to her nipple. As she worked his cock with her hands, she leaned back, thrusting her breasts upward, and he took her unspoken offer, covering her nipple with his mouth, tugging at her flesh.
So good. Ember moaned. He pulled her skirt around her waist and grabbed her bare ass, squeezing in time with his sucking, her entire body throbbing to the same rhythm, his rhythm, the only beat she had ever danced to.
“Ember.” North looked upward, gazing through thick black eyelashes and in his eyes, she saw his wolf, dominant and wild and hers. He grinned, rubbing that endearingly boyish smile over her curves and pressed his lips to her left nipple, torturing her with the same slow seduction.
Unable to wait, she moved against him, sliding her pussy lips up and down his hard cock, covering him with her juices, his skin glistening in the moonlight. His thigh muscles tightened underneath her, and his suction increased to the point of pain, her nipple gloriously red and raw.
“North.” She nipped his shoulder, the hunger to be filled overwhelming.
He chuckled, his lips vibrating against her skin. “Always impatient, beautiful.”
She winced. Once he sees my back, he won’t think me beautiful. “You make me impatient, wolf.” Her voice was husky with fear and arousal as she risked soul-destroying rejection for a moment of ecstasy. “Fuck me now.”
His grin spread, white teeth flashing in his tanned face. “Only you dare order me, mate.” North met her gaze, his chin tilted proudly.
Alpha, her wolf growled with appreciation. If he had been this strong years ago… Ember shook away her regrets. “I’ll dare much more if you don’t fuck me soon.” She shifted her weight restlessly. “I need you inside me.” She swiped her thumb over his cockhead, spreading the dab of precum beading on his slit. “Would you deny me?”
“Never,” he rumbled. North cupped her ass, lifted her easily, and Ember positioned him at her entrance.
“North!” she cried out as he lowered her onto his cock, filling her. She clasped onto his broad shoulders, savoring the solid feel of his muscles, and rocked on him, the slide slow and shallow.
He nuzzled her neck, kneading her maimed back with his big hands. She writhed with delight, her healed skin hyper sensitive to his caresses, no one having ever touched those crisscrossed ridges of flesh.
“Ride me,” North commanded, and she struggled to obey him, hampered by her shorter legs. He assisted her, lifting her ass and dropping her, her pussy lips slapping his base, her ass bouncing on his thighs.
She panted, her lungs aching with the effort, and he grunted, their animalistic sounds of passion echoing in the night, the scent of sex filling the air. They were as one, the years apart dropping away, the barriers between them evaporating.
Ember closed her eyes, a tear trickling down her cheek. In this moment, she wasn’t scarred. She was perfect, desirable, a wolf he’d be proud to claim.
North impaled her onto his big cock again and again, ruthlessly invading her body, his hands branding her flesh. She wanted this connection to last forever as it felt right and strong, but her building desire wouldn’t be denied. Her muscles constricted, constricted, constricted until all of her was pulled tightly around him.
“Please,” she whimpered, pleading for something her brain had no words for.
“Come for me, beautiful,” he growled. As he drove her down onto him, he thrust upward and bit the curve where her neck met her shoulder, his sharp teeth puncturing her skin.
“North!” She threw back her head and howled, shattering, breaking into a million pieces, pieces so fine and so sharp they’d never be put back together again.
“Ember!” He bellowed her name, his wolf song joining hers, his big form shuddering underneath her. She dug her fingernails into his shoulders, holding onto him, her loving compass in a world filled with pain and regret.
He trembled; her big strong wolf trembled, against her. She pressed her body to his, absorbing the small movements, reveling that she did this to him.
“I love you,” she whispered into his salty skin. Tomorrow, I’ll leave. Ember rested against North. I must.
* * *
Mate. The morning sun danced across Ember’s reddish-brown hair, lighting the strands with flame. North gazed upon his sleeping female, heat spreading across his chest. Mine.
His gaze dropped to her bare shoulders, and he frowned. His fingers hadn’t lied. Between her curls, pink scars licked up her spine, marring her tanned skin. He carefully lifted the black cotton sheet she’d pulled over her body and brushed her hair aside.
Fuck. Her entire back was covered with scars. The pain she must have felt. North pressed his lips together, swallowing his howl of agony. Protect mate! His wolf raged to be free, clawing, snapping at his controls. He clenched his hands into fists and closed his eyes, fighting the shift. She needed the sensitive, rational man, not his instinct-driven, emotional wolf.
“It’s okay.” Her voice was quiet as though all of the life, her spark, had been beaten out of her. He’d allowed her to be beaten. She was his mate, his to protect, and he’d allowed her to be harmed. “You don’t have to look. I’ll go.” Skin slid against fabric.
“No.” He grabbed her wrist and met her gaze. Her eyes shone with a watery sheen and a single trail of moisture glistened on her cheek. I’ve hurt her more. His stomach twisted. “You’re not going anywhere, mate.”
“I’m not your mate.” She turned her face away from him. “Not any longer. Let me go.” She tugged on her arm.
“Never.” North slid his body over hers, flattening her into the mattress, squashing her efforts to escape, to run from him. “I’m never letting you go. I did that once, beautiful. I’m not making the same mistake again.”
“I’m no longer beautiful.”
She bucked, trying to dislodge him, her ass bouncing against his hard cock. Fuck. He wanted her, but they needed to talk first.
“You saw my back, and I’m in my human form. In my wolf form…”
In her wolf form, she’d be almost bald. There’d be scars where her gorgeous brown fur had been, fur she’d once prided herself on. Feeling her pain, he kissed her shoulder. “Your beauty isn’t in your back.” He pressed his lips between her shoulder blades. “Or in your face.” He licked the tears off her cheek. “Or even in your eyes.” He kissed her arched eyebrow. “You’re beautiful, Ember. You are.”
“Don’t lie to me. I saw your look of disgust.” She sniffled.
“When have I ever lied to you?” He sat upright, straddling her, and gazed down at her scarred skin. She suffered through this because she loved me. She’s still suffering, my brave she-wolf. “And what you saw wasn’t disgust. It was anger at your father and at myself.”
He followed one long scar with his fingertips, the links of a silver chain permanently burned into her flesh. “I was a young, arrogant fool and I was careless with you, mate.” He sucked the pink puckers into his
mouth. “With your love.” He rubbed his chin against her chin. “How can you ever forgive me?” Hopelessness welled up inside him. “Tell me what I can do, anything, everything, and I’ll do it.”
“Let me go.” She pushed against the mattress, but he wouldn’t allow her to rise.
Part of him, the sniveling, cowardly stray, wanted to release her, knowing he could never make up for the pain, but the man, the alpha wolf vowed to try, to protect her, to fill the rest of her life with joy.
“Except for that.” He swiped a scar with the flat of his tongue, and she trembled. “If I let you go, all of this would be for nothing. You bore this pain for me, the pack stray.” The thought was inconceivable yet the proof was on her skin.
“You were never a stray to me,” she mumbled into the sheets. “I loved you.”
Loved. He stilled, fear gripping his soul. “And do you still love me?” He held his breath.
Ember nodded and he exhaled. “Too much to stay. You deserve better.” She wiggled, her movements tormenting his already aroused body.
North ignored his desire, focusing on his woman. “There’s no one better than you, my mate.” He swirled heated circles into her muscles with his wet tongue, lowering, lowering, lowering until he stretched out on top of her, covering her like a blanket. “And every time I look at your back, I’ll remember that you chose me. Me, Ember. You chose me above your pack, your safety, yourself.” His voice cracked.
“Oh, fuck.” He buried his face in her back, bathing her scars with tears he’d never admit to shedding. She lay under him, her small body shuddering with silent sobs, and he wrapped his arms around her waist. He wasn’t worthy of her, he wouldn’t ever be worthy of her, but he’d dedicate his life trying to prove himself.
Chapter Four
Three nights later, North split his attention between the Lair’s long line of leather-clad patrons and Ember’s even longer legs, her curvy calves fueling his fantasies, her bare skin tanned and delightfully lickable. Killer, that lucky dog, sniffed at her sexy black stilettos as she talked to a gold-wearing dominatrix waiting in the line. The other security wolves hovered around them, staring blatantly at his oblivious mate.