“You’re welcome,” Rebecca said, and it didn’t sound the least bit ironic. “There are cookies if you like.”
“Oh, sure, I’d love to. Callie isn’t here?”
“She said you were coming, but we didn’t know exactly when. She went to get some things for dinner.”
Asha flashed her a bright smile. “I love you guys, you know that, right? So…is there anything you have for me?”
“Me?” Rebecca asked, wondering if she was possibly still asleep.
“Well, yeah. You have some insights. Callie says she’s working on a new idea. I just want to make sure there’s no surprise of the kind like last time.”
Callie had some dispute with Asha a few months ago about the direction in which she’d wanted to take her series. Only Rebecca had known that what Callie had been describing came close to her own traumatic experiences.
“You need to ask her when she’s here,” Rebecca said, wondering if she should know more, and why she didn’t.
“I heard Nicole made an appearance. That must have stirred up some bad…sh…things.” Asha caught herself on the last word.
“You know her?”
“I saw her the first time when you did, but I know what the bitch did,” Asha said darkly. “Might not be as bad as what happened here, but I’m sure it was enough to remind Callie. I’ve known Callie for a long time,” she continued when the surprise must have shown on Rebecca’s face. “I knew she wasn’t nearly killing her character because of a fleeting idea. Not in the way it was written. Don’t worry, Rebecca. I’m not asking you to tell me. In fact, I can tell from your silence that it’s true. I’m glad she’s with you now.”
“Why?”
“Because you’re not crazy?” Asha chuckled. “Well, not that I am, no worries. It’s just with you…I think she’s found something that she’s been looking for all her life. A place to feel safe enough to stay. I’m not just talking this house.”
“Thank you,” Rebecca said, finding it very warm in the room all of a sudden. Her cheeks were burning.
“You’re welcome. Now what did you say about cookies?”
They spent an agreeable evening with Asha, and as time proceeded, Rebecca realized that many of her earlier worries had been blown out of proportion. Maybe her own story wasn’t that spectacular after all, minus the coming out to almost the whole congregation. She still had a lot of clichés to clear from her mind, but neither Callie nor Asha seemed to think she was in a place where she didn’t belong.
It made her feel guilty for thoughts she had while under the paralyzing influence of fear for Maggie. Those didn’t count anymore though. She knew better. Callie had come back to her, and she had not gone to meet Nicole at the airport.
As for Reynolds, Rebecca had decided she would ask Father Langdon for advice. Hopefully this time, they were really looking at more peaceful times to come.
She checked her email before they went to bed, surprised to find one from Betty, until she remembered that tomorrow was Saturday.
I’m sorry for bringing Reynolds with me earlier. I had no idea, but I have something to tell you. It’s my turn for brunch. I hope to see you both, and the girls, if you want to bring them.
“People can learn,” Callie said as she pulled back the covers for Rebecca. “Some sooner, some later.”
“I don’t know. She’s my friend, but it feels a little like letting her off easily. She said some mean things to you.”
“It’s more for your benefit than for hers. She’s trying to find answers, which is more than can be said for a lot of people.”
“You’re probably right.” Rebecca slipped under the covers, welcoming the fatigue taking over her body, the warmth of Callie curling up beside her. “It’s progress. Thank you for not going to see Nicole,” she said after a moment of silence.
“I didn’t miss anything.”
“It’s been a crazy time with…everything. I need to tell you this, because it will stay on my mind otherwise.”
“Okay.” Callie linked their fingers together, obviously, both of them needing reassurance. “Go ahead.”
“I thought it might be a good idea if we just…I don’t know, be apart for awhile. There were so many misunderstandings. I guess I’m not really good at working them out.”
“I guess the same could be said for me,” Callie said cautiously.
“I knew that when I left David, I did it because there was no turning back. I would have wondered the rest of my life what could have been. Now…I believe it’s better to work things out when they arise. To stay. I don’t want to be apart, not even temporary.”
“Neither do I.” Callie’s voice stayed level, but her hold tightened. “I love you. I was just scared. I still am sometimes. I know it’s silly, and I can’t keep this up for the next, let’s say sixteen years.”
“I’m not going back. I’m not sure what Father Reynolds is trying to do, why me, but he’s wrong. You can’t use someone’s faith to blackmail them. I won’t let him.” Even though she’d let him come damn close to doing just that.
“I still can’t believe what Craig did.” She shook her head with a humorless laugh. “It’s hard to think that I once thought of Autumn Leaves as the safest place in the world, while he was still the sheriff, nonetheless.”
“You can’t always predict what people will do. Nicole wasn’t like that when I first met her.”
“That’s a scary thought.”
“Yes, it is.”
However, for the moment, Rebecca thought, they were safe, everyone she loved. She’d be grateful, and do everything she could possibly do for it to stay that way. Even against her own fears.
She turned to Callie, leaning over to kiss her. Without so many words, assuring each other that the safe place they’d built between them still existed, something that no one could take away.
Chapter Ten
Betty LaRue hadn’t hosted the Saturday brunch in a long time, and she seemed to want to make up for that omission, serving food that would have been enough for twice as many people. Traditionally, the brunch was taking place without kids. Callie was grateful that Betty had made an exception, because she understood how important it was for Rebecca to keep both her daughters close.
Maggie had calmed down a little, back to her familiar shy persona. Callie and Rebecca had both agreed to watch her closely though for any signs of distress. It could have almost been an adventure, if it hadn’t been for Craig being an idiot and firing the gun in the hotel room. Francine had to cancel, so the number came down to six people, Betty, Roz, Callie and Rebecca, Dina and Maggie.
As Betty poured a cup of hot chocolate for Maggie, coffee for the rest of them, she gave Callie a hesitant smile.
Callie, feeling very forgiving towards everyone and everything after last night, smiled back at her as she accepted her cup. Talking wasn’t all she and Rebecca had done.
“There’s something you wanted to tell me,” Rebecca said when Dina had taken Maggie outside. It might have been a bit provocative with the others still around, but Betty didn’t seem to mind.
“Yeah, but first of all, Callie, I know I owe you an apology. I shouldn’t have hit you.”
“You did what?” Roz coughed.
“No, you shouldn’t have,” Callie agreed. “You know it wasn’t just that. Personally, I can forgive you, but I need to know where I stand with you. Both me and Rebecca. About Reynolds—”
Betty made a face. “God, I’m sorry about that. I mean—I know I’m doing this wrong, but he shouldn’t have used a moment like this to come at you with his own issues. I talked to a cousin of mine this week. Reynolds worked there for a couple of years before he kind of disappeared.” She shrugged, obviously still uncomfortable with the subject. “It appears that he was involved with…a boy. Not a minor, but still. There was talk, and he left, was trying to get himself together. Here he is now.”
“Jesus,” Roz said.
“No one knew about this?”
“Rebe
cca, I’m sure Father Langdon didn’t.”
Callie shook her head, feeling sick all of a sudden. So this was where all the hate came from. While Betty seemed on the right track, some of the good people in town would use this as an example. Reynolds probably wasn’t half aware of the damage he was doing, or if he was, he didn’t care.
“He’s got a lot of gall to tell me…” Rebecca didn’t finish the sentence as Maggie and Dina returned this moment. “Father Langdon needs to know about this. I’m going to see him.”
“Can I come with you?” Betty asked with a sideways look to Callie.
“Sure. I’ll see if I can get a phone number and ask him to meet us.”
At least, unlike Nicole, Betty seemed to want to make amends for real. Callie had to give her that. It was a start.
* * * *
“Thank you for meeting us on such short notice.”
“I’m glad to see you again so soon.” Father Langdon smiled. “Actually, I’ve been meaning to call you, Rebecca, but you seemed to have some urgent news.”
His smile vanished soon when Betty and Rebecca gave an account of Father Reynolds’ conduct in the recent past.
“I wanted to come and talk to you before anything becomes official,” Rebecca said. “I’d been hoping for a break, you know? Callie and I have been getting a lot of attention, and I’m afraid it will only get worse. I can’t just let it stand either.”
“It’s not right,” Betty agreed. “What he does is not an invitation, it’s trying to force his own beliefs on…” She met Rebecca’s eyes briefly, then looked away. “I know I’ve been guilty of that myself. That’s why I know it’s wrong.”
“I could talk to him,” Father Langdon offered. “However, I don’t think it’s in my power to have him removed. After all, it would be necessary to find a replacement.”
Rebecca shook her head. “I don’t want that. It’s his life and his career, but he’s not supposed to make that kind of judgment, on me, or anyone else.”
“I agree, Rebecca. It will not be easy. Sadly, you’ll find that even in the church, people will side with him. You know that I don’t.”
“Yes, and I’m grateful for that. If you could talk to him, we’d really appreciate that. Hopefully he’ll listen to you.”
“I’ll try,” he promised. “Meanwhile, there’s a colleague from Marin County who has a request I said I’d pass on to you. She’s starting a group that is meant to be a safe place for members of the GBLT community and also address questions of faith as they arise. I thought you might be interested.”
Rebecca felt a little ashamed at how easily he brought up the subject when she had needed a long time to come to terms with certain facts of reality. She shared a gaze with Betty who was equally as quiet.
“Oh, and I heard they are working on their website, too, and could use some help.” He winked.
“This sounds…great. Yeah, absolutely, give her my number.”
After their appointment, Rebecca and Betty went to a nearby coffee shop.
“I realize,” Rebecca said, “when I thought Autumn Leaves was feeling safe to me, it had a lot to do with him. I wish he would have stayed with us a little while longer.”
Betty nodded with a wistful smile. “Rebecca, you have no idea how much it means to me that we’re talking again. Like normal.” She winced. “You know what I mean. I missed you.”
“I missed you too.”
“While we’re at it, I have to tell you I mostly behaved like a bitch not because I was thinking that Callie would corrupt the children in town. I was jealous.”
“Jealous?” Rebecca repeated, baffled. “Of…?”
“Oh, no, not that.” Betty laughed self-consciously. “I mean, look at us. We were kind of reassuring ourselves that we were doing the right thing, each Saturday. Maria stayed with Craig even though there wasn’t a lot of love between them. Roz stayed away from any relationship. You and I…well, it was always up to us to hold the fort while the hubby’s out on the job. It seemed okay as long as I could hope you were just a little annoyed by the situation as well, but staying.”
“It wasn’t always easy, but I wasn’t thinking about it too hard. I had the girls to consider. I still have.”
“You started thinking about it at one point,” Betty reminded her. “It seemed completely crazy, like you’d managed to bring time to a halt, to change. Leaving your husband, having a younger lover, and a woman at that.”
Rebecca didn’t quite know how to react to that, but the way Betty recounted the events, she couldn’t help but smile. For all her struggles, Betty made it sound like she was living the life of someone who was indeed to be envied.
“I didn’t plan any of this, you know. I’m sure you don’t really want to—”
“No.” Betty shook her head. “Not really. Just for a moment the thought that it could be done, that someone was actually doing it, scared the hell out of me.” She hid her face in her hands. “The things I said. I wish I could say I was drunk, but unfortunately, I wasn’t.”
“You apologized. It means a lot to me…and to Callie.”
“She’ll never forgive me.”
“I’m sure she will.”
“I feel silly. About our new father and his favorite therapy? I had no idea it was dangerous. I even would have thought it’s kind to try to help people, keep them out of the line of fire. Really,” Betty said ruefully, “you guys get a lot of crap even from the people who are supposed to be your friends. I can’t even begin to imagine what it’s like.”
Rebecca remembered asking Callie the same question, what seemed like a lifetime ago. She had definitely gotten some answers of her own.
“I think nothing is worse than lying. To everyone you care for, and to yourself.”
“Do you really believe what you said that day in front of the congregation? That one day you’ll be able to marry her, in church even?” There was no scorn in Betty’s voice, just genuine interest.
“One day, yes. I just don’t know if we’re all going to be around for that.”
“That’s sad.”
“It is.”
“Are you going to be part of that group in Marin County?”
Rebecca leaned back in the booth, despite the seriousness of the subject, happy they had come this far. “I’m going to talk it over with Callie first, but yes, I think I will.”
Sunday morning was the first time in a long time that she sat next to Betty, Callie and her daughters to her left. When she counted the friendly greetings against the curious looks thrown her way by strangers, Rebecca was aware of the tide changing. There wasn’t that much staring anymore. The people in Autumn Leaves had gotten used to seeing her in church with Callie. Maybe some day, they would be more accepting.
Father Reynolds was certainly not keen on helping that process along.
“Rebecca, can we talk for a moment?” he asked after the service. Callie sent her a questioning look, and she shook her head. Rebecca was fairly sure she could handle him this time.
Callie nodded. “We’ll wait in the car,” she said with regard to Dina and Maggie. It had been raining all morning, and the sky was still a dark grey, an appropriate setting for unpleasant subjects.
Father Reynolds switched on the light in his office. “I wanted to say I’m glad your daughter is home safely.”
“Thank you, Father.”
“Are you really happy now, Rebecca?”
“I’m not sure what you’re talking about, but if you don’t mind, I’d rather we stay on a formal basis.”
“If you prefer that.” He didn’t offer her a seat. “See, you say you don’t like blackmail, but what exactly would you call going to Father Langdon behind my back? Frankly, I’m disappointed.”
“I could have gone elsewhere. I asked him for advice, and he offered to talk to you which I suppose he did.”
“Reb…Mrs. Lowman. Deep down inside you know that what you’re doing is wrong. I understand. We share a bit of the same history. We were bot
h lead astray by temptation.”
“Oh no.”
“You’ve been seduced by—”
“Don’t even go there. I don’t claim to know all about you, so I can’t possibly judge. I even understand the—temptation, if you want—to lay the blame, but at least one of us is honest about who we are.”
“What is it that you want me to do?”
“This church is a shelter, a safe place for the people in this town. Don’t destroy that by associating it with harmful people and theses. That’s all.”
“Harmful for whom?” he asked. “Is there never a moment when you want your life back?”
“My life is everything it could possibly be, Father,” she said. “About Doctor Graham and those links on the website—”
“Don’t try,” he warned her. “I can assure you, you won’t win.”
“Thanks for the warning,” she said in the same sarcastic tone. “Have a good day.”
Rebecca tried to force the conversation out of her mind for the rest of the day. After dinner, they drove up to David’s to bring Dina back. The continuous rain had started to melt the snow away once more. Rebecca noted that Susan seemed a little more confident, her smiles more genuine. Maybe she and David had a similar conversation to the one she and Callie had, designing a road map for the future.
It was still hard to let one of her children out of her sight: Dina, because she was growing up and needed parental guidance, Maggie, because things could have turned out so much worse.
They had hardly left each other’s side since the police had found Maggie, but of course that would have to change with the start of another week and school. Rebecca was dreading the moment.
In the late afternoon, there was also a call from Pastor Amber Cole from Marin County.
“I’m sorry to disturb you on a Sunday afternoon,” she said, then laughed ruefully. “I’m only half serious. When else would I get things done? Anyway. Father Langdon told you about the group I’m starting? We meet every other week for now. It wouldn’t be a too long commute from Autumn Leaves.”
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