by Jen Talty
“Last night was just what I needed, what we needed. I won’t let anyone take that away from us.” He leaned forward and kissed her temple. “For the first time since Johnny died, I think I can get through today without feeling like I’ve let down the world.”
“Oh, Jared.” She cupped his face. “You’ve never let anyone down.”
“Yeah, right,” came a female voice. “Don’t you two make a lovely couple?”
Ryan blinked a few times, then shook her head making sure her eyes weren’t playing tricks on her.
“Lisa? What the hell are you doing here?” Jared said, not hiding the venom in his tone. He hadn’t seen his ex-wife since the day she walked out on him and their son.
“Visiting my son.” She glared at him.
His body went rigid as he took a step away from Ryan and jammed his hands into his pockets. “Have you ever been here?”
“None of your damned business,” Lisa said, gripping a small teddy bear. “Would you mind giving me a minute? I’ve got someone waiting for me.”
“Oh, I mind all right.” Jared’s hands came flying out of his pockets as he lunged toward Lisa.
“Jared,” Ryan whispered, stepping in his way. His chest muscles tensed at her touch. “We’ve got time. Let her have a moment.”
“She doesn’t deserve a moment since she didn’t care enough when he was alive,” he snapped.
“Judge me all you want. I don’t care.” Lisa wiped her face, then approached the stone where Johnny rested.
“Come on.” Ryan tugged at Jared’s arm, pulling him away. “I left my purse in the truck, and I’ve got a toy car for Johnny anyway.”
Jared glared at Ryan, then looked over his shoulder. “I don’t think she’s been back here since—since she ran out.”
Ryan patted his arm, forcing her stare forward. She wanted to know why too, but she wouldn’t dare ask it. Lisa hadn’t been a very nice neighbor, at least not to Ryan.
When they reached the truck, Ryan grabbed her purse, and by the time they started back toward the grave, Lisa was on her way toward them. She wore a shiny black trench coat, hiding her clothes, but Ryan noticed the expensive shoes that matched the designer purse. Ryan also noticed the limo waiting for her. Seems Lisa had elevated herself from white trailer trash.
Ryan mentally slapped herself. What a horrible thing to think. Besides, Ryan had grown up in that same little strip of houses known as The Under Developers, a nice way of calling their rundown, old rented trailers, shacks.
“Thank you,” Lisa said, holding out a card.
Jared took it in his steady hand, then stuffed it in his pocket without looking at the small card.
Ryan wanted to fish it out and see what it said.
“I’m living in Saratoga now,” Lisa began. “I plan on coming here often.”
“Thanks for the warning,” Jared said.
“What are you doing in Saratoga?” Ryan’s curiosity was going to get her in trouble based on the daggers Jared just threw her with his eyes.
“My husband owns a horse farm there.” Lisa adjusted her coat. “I must be going.”
“Nice to see you.” Ryan winced when both Lisa and Jared glared at her. “Goodbye?”
Lisa slipped past them without another word. Ryan couldn’t help it, she had to keep peering over her shoulder. A gray-haired man got out of the limo and kissed her cheek, then they both disappeared into the car.
“I want a check on Lisa Madden. At least, Madden is her maiden name,” Jared bellowed.
“What are you doing?” Ryan whipped around and stared at him, cell phone to his ear.
He arched his brow, then turned his back. “She’s married to some horse farmer—wait.” He dug into his pockets. “Lisa Stillman is the name now, lives in Saratoga, and I want a full check on her, her farm, and her husband.”
“Why?” Jared moved his phone from his ear and stared at it for a moment before he lifted it and began speaking. “She’s a suspect in the case involving Ryan O’Connor.”
“Jared Jonathon Blake, what the hell are you talking about?” Ryan grabbed his arm.
Shrugging it off, he didn’t turn. “Just get on it, okay? I’ll explain everything this afternoon.”
“Explain it to me now.” She glared at him. Lisa was a lot of things, but she hadn’t been around for years. She had no reason to hurt Ryan.
“There’s nothing to explain.” He took a step toward the tombstone.
“Jared, now.” She leapt in front of him. “Either you are just using your police power to get back at her, or there’s something else going on. I have a right to know.”
He ran a hand across his head and glared up into the sky. “After your father’s trial, right before she gave birth.” He dipped his gaze and caught her eyes. “She gave me an ultimatum.”
“What kind of ultimatum?”
“If I didn’t stop helping you out, she threatened to leave. I told her if she left, she couldn’t take Johnny with her.”
“So she just left you? The baby? Because of me?”
Chapter Eight
Jared had never planned on having this conversation with anyone, much less Ryan. But so much was changing. “Right before Lisa told me she was pregnant, I’d been offered the job I’m taking now.” Jared lowered himself onto the soft green grass next to Johnny’s grave, unable to look at Ryan. “I turned it down.”
“Why?” Ryan questioned.
“You, the trial, the baby. Lots of reasons.” He lifted his gaze to meet her shocked expression. “Pat was in L.A. and going through hell. He counted on me to help take care of you. You were only sixteen. And alone.”
“Oh, God, no,” she mumbled, shaking her head.
“I told Lisa as soon as you got into college, I’d be free to leave.”
“Free? To leave?”
“That’s not what I meant,” Jared said, knowing that Ryan would think he allowed himself to be tied to her somehow. That taking care of her had been a hardship, but it hadn’t.
“I didn’t realize what a burden I’ve been to you all these years.” She tilted her head and stared into the soft blue sky. A few clouds rumbled in. “I knew about the possible transfer, but I thought you stayed because of Lisa.”
“Come here.” He held out his hand.
“No,” she said, pacing on the narrow path. “I can’t believe this. You turned down that job because of me? Did Lisa want you to take it?”
“Lisa trapped me,” Jared admitted. “She got pregnant on purpose, and used Johnny to try and force me to move. She didn’t think she’d be happy staying here.”
Ryan stopped and stared at him with questioning eyes. “You let your marriage fall apart to stay and help me?”
He took a deep breath, choosing his words carefully. “My marriage was doomed long before I got married.” He reached out again, gently lacing his fingers in hers, but she yanked her hand away. “I don’t regret turning the position down back then. I wanted Johnny to be raised here. Besides, moving wouldn’t have done anything but prolong the inevitable.” He held out his hand again. “Please, come sit here with me.”
She scowled, but complied, seating herself down next to him. She toyed with the matchbox car before resting it next to the small, sandy brown bear. “Jared, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize.”
He touched the soft curves of her lips, hushing her silly words. “I made a decision, one that I’m proud of. I know I have nothing to do with who you’ve become, but I like knowing I helped pay for your education and gave you a chance you might not have gotten otherwise.”
“I’m not a charity case.” She glared at him. “You should’ve moved. Everything would be different.”
“Maybe, but I’m glad Lisa and I divorced. I was miserable, and honestly, so was she.”
“Do you ever wonder if things would’ve been different for you and Lisa had I not gotten in the way?”
He let out an exasperated sigh. “You didn’t get in the way.”
“You just said
she didn’t want you helping me out.”
“Because you were a threat to her.” Jared wanted to laugh out loud at the absurdity of his words. At the time, Lisa was about Ryan’s age now, and Ryan was just a teenager. But the words were true, and years later, Lisa’s premonition was materializing.
“Me? That doesn’t make any sense.”
“I paid more attention to the teenager living in my carriage house than I did her.” He drew Ryan back between his legs, resting her head on his chest. She hesitated before giving in.
“Lisa wanted money and respect, and thought they’d come to her in that order. When being with me didn’t get her the respect in this community she thought she deserved, she ran.”
“Look who thinks there’s a good side to someone now?” Ryan said, shifting from his embrace. “Next you’re going to tell me she was misunderstood.”
He laughed. It wasn’t funny, but it was true. “I couldn’t forgive Lisa if I tried, but…” He tucked some of Ryan’s sun-warmed hair behind her ear. “If I’m being honest, I was part of the problem.”
Ryan rolled her eyes. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Maybe not, but I didn’t do anything right, either.” He leaned back on his hands and glanced at Jonathon Mitchell Blake’s grave, at the words “Cherished Son” etched in the hard stone. “I didn’t want to get married, but she was pregnant.”
“Such the noble man,” she muttered. “Women have kids all the time out of wedlock.”
Stretching his legs and crossing his ankles, he studied Ryan’s face. Her eyes lit up from the bright sun. Beauty that defied all reason. “Not with my kid, they don’t.”
“You don’t want kids.” She stared at him with a sudden harshness in her eyes.
He ripped a blade of grass from the ground and rolled it between his fingers. “I wanted Johnny.” Jared never admitted to anyone how much he’d wanted Johnny. But he’d never allow himself to go through that kind of hurt again. “From the moment Lisa told me, I loved him.”
Ryan shifted, tucking her feet off to the side and leaning on one hand. “I know you loved him,” she whispered.
A single cloud shifted in front of the sun and the wind kicked up. He glanced out toward the direction of the lake and could almost smell the rain coming. Grey clouds collided in the darkening sky.
He ran a hand across his unshaven face. The stubble scratched at his calloused hands. “Lisa wanted to start over where no one knew her. She resented you, because the world seemed to ignore the fact that you grew up—”
“Dirt poor, and my parents were trailer trash.” She shook her head. “I just ignored the whispers, the little jabs here and there. I still do.”
“That’s not how she saw it. She saw that you were somehow better than her. Adding the unwanted pregnancy and the constant gossip of her being a gold digger, well, she lost it. And her sudden return has me wondering.”
“That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.” As the sun peered out again, she shifted to her feet and brushed her hands across her fanny. “So, because the woman was insecure, you now think she’s out to get me?”
He chuckled. “I’m suspicious of anyone who might’ve said something negative about you, even if it was five years ago.” He rose, dusting off his uniform before he adjusted the bear and car in front of Johnny’s grave.
“Do you really think Lisa could’ve done something like that?”
He took her by the hand, noticing his own hand didn’t tremble. He looked down at the grave and patted his heart. “I never thought I’d be able to come here like this; thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” She leaned into him and planted a moist kiss on his cheek. “But you didn’t answer my question.” Their hands swayed back and forth as they strolled to her SUV.
No. He hadn’t answered her question because he honestly didn’t know the answer. Not only was Lisa an insecure, vindictive woman, but she had some other issues, too. She’d been known to let her temper fly out of control. She’d tossed a few objects at him during heated arguments, and right before she left, she’d belted him a good one.
“I think Eddy has some real serious sexual issues. Not sure he’d actually harm anyone, but he definitely needs help.”
She shook her head. “You’re still not answering my question.”
“I’m running all the usual suspects through my mind. Let me do this my way. Okay?”
“Fine,” she said, not sounding convinced.
“Tom’s got a record that’s sealed. It could be something; it could be nothing. George still wants to hurt you, so I’m sure he’d do whatever it took.” Standing about ten feet from the car, he turned to face her and shifted his sunglasses up to his forehead. “Lisa looks like she’s got the kind of life she’s always wanted. A rich husband and money to burn. But I’d be a bad cop if I didn’t look at every angle.”
Her lower lip quivered as she bit down on the glossy flesh. She stared into his eyes, but fear loomed behind her pupils.
“What?” he asked.
“I hope you don’t regret last night.”
A surge of unknown emotions choked him. He didn’t regret it, but he didn’t know how he felt about it. He wasn’t supposed to feel anything. “I regret nothing. But I don’t want to hurt you.”
She smiled, easing some of his fear, but not all of it. “You can’t hurt me, Jared. And while last night was amazing, I know it wasn’t about us, or…I don’t know how to say this.”
“It wasn’t about romance,” he said. “It wasn’t about a beginning, but an ending.”
“No, not ending. A change. There’s a difference.”
“Okay, a change.” Not wanting to pass up the opportunity to hold her one more time, he cupped her face and drew her lips to his. One tender kiss, nothing romantic, nothing sexual. Just lips against moist lips. Then he slipped his arms around her and tucked her head to his chest.
“I hired a contractor to fix up the carriage house.” Unable to resist her soft skin, he glided his hands under her light jacket, lifting her blouse from her slacks in search of warmth. “I think it’s best for you to stay with me.” Inhaling her soft hair that still held the scent of peach shampoo, he closed his eyes. “You would be safer with me.”
“I hate inflating your ego, but I have to agree.” Her hair blew into his face. He didn’t bother to brush it away.
“It sucks being right all the time.” He laughed, forcing the serious edge of his emotions from his voice. He didn’t have feelings for Ryan, not that kind anyway. He was just caught up in the case, dealing with his son in a new way, and moving.
* * * *
Ryan could tell that Jared was holding something back, but that was okay. He’d come farther this week than ever before. Every year, she’d begin her crusade to save him from the depths of despair. And every year, she made it so far, only to watch him spend at least two days in the pits of hell.
The car ride back to the hotel was quiet and uneventful. She watched the clouds roll across the sky, bringing the promise of cold rain. The wind swirled in a howling cry, and empty tree branches pitched and snapped, until the wind died down to a whisper. Storms like this were a dime a dozen around Lake George, but they could still be devastating.
“Go straight to my place and call me before you go into the house,” Jared said, unlocking his patrol car.
“Don’t you think that’s being a little paranoid?” She slammed her door, frustrated with having to look over her shoulder. When she went to college, she’d always race across the parking lot to her classroom, glancing around at every shadow. It took her years to be able to sit alone in the carriage house, in the dark, and not jump at the icemaker.
“I’ve got leads, but nothing else, babe. Even I get paranoid.” He ducked his head, then slid into the driver’s seat. “Or you could get Penny and Chuck to meet us at your brother’s bar for dinner.” The window hummed as it rolled down. He flashed a pearly white smile and winked before he dropped his sunglasses
from his forehead to cover his crystal clear, blue-green eyes.
“That’s a fine thought. I’ll call your cell.”
He saluted, and then pulled out of his parking space. “Go.” He waved her toward the hotel lobby doors. “I’ll wait here until you’re safely tucked inside.”
She rolled her eyes and adjusted her purse on her shoulder. “Not necessary.” She turned on her heels and headed for the lobby doors. She didn’t bother looking back when she pulled back the door, because Jared wouldn’t leave for at least five minutes.
She strolled to her office, trying to tell herself that he was just doing his job. That it had nothing to do with him being an overbearing pain in the butt.
She closed her door and slumped into her chair. Dropping her elbows to the desk with a loud thud, she rested her cheeks in the palms of her hands.
A loud buzz from her phone startled her, making her jump. She hit the intercom button. “What is it, Cheryl?”
“You’ve got several messages regarding the golf tournament, and Tom said he needed to see you.”
“Great,” she mumbled. “Call Tom and tell him I’m in my office.” She swiped at her face, running her index finger under her eyes and checking for mascara marks. “I’m in no mood to go chasing after him.” Satisfied she was put together enough, she rose and opened her door.
“Oh,” she gasped. “Tom, I didn’t expect you this quickly.”
He glared at her. “We need to talk.”
“Is there a problem?” Ryan asked, stepping aside and letting him in her cramped space.
“Shut the door,” he snapped.
“I don’t think so.” With her heart pounding, she rubbed her hands against her pleats. “Now, what’s the problem?” She fought the urge to pray for one of Jared’s surprise visits. Seems he always showed up when she needed him. But those days were gone.
“This is personal,” he whispered, then eyed the hallway. “Please.”
Considering Jared’s warning words and all the suspects, Tom was really not high on her list. “You’ve got five minutes.”