by Jen Talty
“Nick picked up Rudy an hour ago,” Harmon said.
“For what?” Jared glanced at the speedometer, then pressed the pedal so he’d reach ninety. “Alert everyone I’m flying down the thruway just past Utica, and I’m getting off at exit twenty-eight. Tell them to leave me alone.”
“I can handle the troopers, but the locals on the back roads, you’re on your own, man.”
“I know, now tell me about Rudy.”
“The guy was lurking around your house. Your friend Rory called it in, and we got him on trespassing. Nick was able to search his car, and guess what he found.”
“Underwear,” Jared said under his breath.
“Jared, you just drove past a cop,” Ryan said looking over her shoulder.
He glanced in the rearview mirror, and the trooper pulled out. “Crap. Frank, got a cop on my tail. Call it in.” Jared moved over to the right lane, but didn’t slow down. “Ryan, grab my badge from my pocket.” He shifted, giving her better access. “Take the phone for a minute.”
The trooper pulled up next to him, and Jared waved, flashing his badge. The trooper held his radio in his hands, then nodded and flicked his lights on, giving Jared an escort. “Give me the phone back.” He pushed down on the accelerator. “You got your seat belt on?”
“What’s going on? You’re scaring me.”
He squeezed her leg. “Don’t be scared. Nick picked up Rudy, and it looks like we got our man. I just need to get home, okay?”
“Home works for me,” she said, keeping her eyes on the road.
“You feeling okay?”
“Speed makes me a little dizzy.”
“Put your head between your legs if you have to.” He grabbed the phone from her hands. “Frank, you still there?”
“Yes, sir.”
“I need you to find Penny Swartz and have her meet us at my place.” He glanced at Ryan. “I need to go to the station and figure out what’s happening, and I don’t think you should be alone, okay?” He pleaded with her.
She nodded, then looked back at the road.
“Anything else, boss?” Frank asked.
“Are you at the sheriff’s office?”
“That I am, sir.”
Jared smiled. “You stick to Nick like a fly on shit, okay? I want to know everything, you got it?”
“Oh, I got it, and I’ll enjoy it, sir.”
Jared laughed. “I’m sure you will.”
“Oh, and Jared?”
Since when did Frank call him by his first name? “Yeah?”
“Thanks.”
“For what?”
“The glowing recommendation to the scuba unit.”
Jared smiled. “I’m sure you’ll like it.”
“Smitty said you set some swimming record in college. Why haven’t you gone through the training?”
Why indeed? Jared glanced over at Ryan. Her hands gripped the armrests and her eyes locked on the darkness ahead. “See you shortly.” He closed his phone, unable to think about the scuba unit. While the post would be demanding and challenging, it could mean staying in Lake George, since he already did lake patrol. Not going to happen. He needed a change.
Once on the back roads, he slowed to a normal speed, having lost his escort. He’d picked up a lot of time, but his pulse still raced. The adrenaline pumped out of control. Not being there to see and question Rudy was driving him nuts.
Okay, so he was a control freak.
“Almost there, babe.”
She shook out her hands. “I don’t think you ever have to worry about me getting a ticket.”
“You know to just drop my name, right?”
She laughed. “I’ve never been pulled over and never plan on it.”
“Well, if you do, just ask them if they know me; most likely you won’t get a ticket.”
“I’ll remember that.”
They remained quiet for the rest of the ride. He kept glancing at her, wondering what she was thinking, but he didn’t dare ask. If what Harmon said was true, he’d be packing most of his clothes and heading out, saying goodbye.
His heart paused for a moment before pounding wildly against his chest. He told himself it was just the anticipation of catching the bad guy. It wasn’t the pain his heart felt for having to let go of Ryan, but wanting to give her something he couldn’t.
* * * *
“We’ll be fine, Jared,” Ryan said, practically pushing him out the door. “Now go and take care of business.”
“Lock the doors,” he said, looking over her shoulder.
“Is he always this paranoid?” Penny asked.
“I’m not paranoid.”
“Yeah, right. Okay, now scoot,” Ryan said.
“You always this controlling?” He smiled.
“Yes,” she said, fighting the urge to grab him and kiss him passionately. Sometimes his controlling ways really weren’t so controlling. She had to admit he did care for her, on some level. And that felt good, even though she didn’t want it to.
She clicked the lock on the door, then watched him jog down the path and hop in his pickup. He waved before backing up. She turned and dropped her gaze to the floor, unable to face Penny’s scrutinizing glare.
“You’re in love with the big goof.” Penny’s voice echoed in Ryan’s ears.
“Am not.” Ryan pushed passed Penny, making her way into the family room.
“And I’m not pregnant. Mind if I raid the refrigerator?”
“Help yourself.” Ryan paused, then turned. “Then again, it’s not my refrigerator.”
“Whatever.” Penny waved her off, ducking her head into the icebox.
Ryan rubbed her eyes and plopped herself down on the couch. One minute she was listening to Jared reduce their affair to an understanding, the next she wanted to kiss him for being there for her. She didn’t understand. If this was love, she wanted nothing to do with it. It reminded her too much of a roller coaster ride, which generally made her want to toss her cookies.
“Want some?” Penny sat down next to her with a huge bowl of chocolate chip ice cream. “I so wish I had morning sickness. I’m going to be fat by the time I get married.” Penny shoved the ice cream in Ryan’s face.
“No.” Ryan shoved it aside, her stomach flipping again. “I had way too much to eat earlier. Jared treated me to a bunch of spa treatments, and they had all these decadent chocolates and stuff.” Ryan had eaten a lot of stuff she’d been offered during her day at the spa, but she knew that hadn’t caused her upset stomach.
Not knowing if this Rudy guy was behind the bizarre things that were happening to her had caused her stomach to churn. She found herself mentally counting the days of the month again. She let out a sigh of relief when she realized she wasn’t late. Tomorrow. She’d get her period tomorrow and all would be well in the world.
Well, not really. “Can you take a few days off next week?”
Penny shrugged. “Probably. I’m thinking about going part-time anyway.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Ryan felt her eyes go wide.
“Trudy, another girl at work, just had a baby and she hates working full-time. We’re trying to see if we can work out a job share thing.”
“Does Chuck want you to stay at home?” Ryan had a hard time believing career-minded Penny would consider giving up her marketing job. “Do you want to stay at home?”
“I’m not quitting my job, just shifting things a little. The worst is, I’ve got a lot of vacation time saved up, but he doesn’t. We’ll only be taking a long weekend for our honeymoon.”
“That sucks,” Ryan said.
Penny shoved a large hunk of ice cream in her mouth, then tried to talk, but gave up when she didn’t make any sense. “As I was saying, he wants to save the time for when the baby’s born and take a couple of weeks then. Or maybe take some time off when I go back to work.”
Ryan shook her head. Never in a million years did she think she’d be seeing a grownup Penny, making life altering decisions
. “Wow,” she muttered.
“What?”
“I’m blown away.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know. When did we grow up?”
“Speak for yourself, honey.” Penny stuck out her tongue, then licked her spoon, before scooping another oversized bite. “Tell me, why am I asking for time off on such short notice?”
“Because Jared plans on packing up and hitting the road next Friday, and I don’t want to be around when he does. I thought we’d go on that camping trip a few weeks early.”
Penny looked to the ceiling, still licking her spoon. “I could take off Thursday and Friday, but if we do this, the trip ends Saturday so I can have the rest of the weekend with Chuck.”
“Deal, but let’s wait to finalize the plans until I know for sure the bad guy is behind bars.”
“Probably a good idea. So, when do you plan on telling Mr. So-Interested-In-You that you love him?”
“On the twelfth of never.”
Penny set aside the empty bowl, then placed a firm hand on Ryan’s shoulder. “You have to tell him.”
“Why? So he can feel guilty, then consider giving up the best thing that’s ever happened to him, for me? Out of guilt? No way.”
“I don’t think you’re giving the man enough credit. I saw how he looked at you tonight.”
“You’re killing me, Pen. First you tell me to go for it, then to drop it because you don’t think I can handle it, and now you think I should tell him how I really feel?” Ryan blinked, forcing back the tears. Admitting to herself she loved him was hard enough, but to tell even Penny hurt like hell.
Penny scooted closer, putting a sisterly arm around her. “If you don’t take that risk, you’ll never know.”
“If I tell him, he might turn down that job, and I can’t do that to him again.”
“Again? What does that mean?”
“He was offered that job six years ago, but turned it down because of George’s trial. Because he felt like he had to stay and take care of me. I was only seventeen when the trial started, and he felt obligated. I don’t want to pressure him in any way, because then I’d always wonder.” Tears rolled down her face. She brushed them away, but it didn’t stop them from coming.
“Oh, Ry. I understand how you feel, really I do. But what’s the worst thing that could happen if you told him?”
“He’d stay, and not because he loves me.”
“He does care for you, anyone can see that.”
“Would that be enough for you with Chuck?” Ryan tilted her head.
Penny’s shocked face gave Ryan the answer she needed. It wouldn’t be enough, and nothing Penny could say would sway her mind. She’d only tell Jared if he came to her, giving himself to her freely.
But she knew that would never happen. “This sucks.” She threw her arms around Penny. “Love really sucks.”
“I know, honey, I know,” Penny whispered, stroking Ryan’s hair and giving her the opportunity to let it all out.
Ryan didn’t know how much time had passed, but when she didn’t have a tear left, she pulled away, and wiped the mascara from her cheeks. “You’re going to make a great mom,” Ryan said, meaning it.
“God, I hope so.”
“How are the wedding plans?” Ryan asked, genuinely interested. She wanted to focus on something other than her own issues. She glanced at the clock. An hour had passed since Jared had left, and not knowing what was going on was driving her crazy.
“The church is booked; the only issue is the reception.”
“What’s the problem?”
“My mother. She and Chuck’s mom don’t see eye to eye on this point.”
“What about you and Chuck?”
“He wants to please my mother and I want to please his.”
Ryan laughed. “Sounds like fun.”
“Oh, yeah. Loads. At this point I’ll settle for anything. We’re having a meeting of the minds tomorrow morning and we’re going to make the final decision, since we have to put money down.”
“Who do you think is going to win?”
“My mother, since she’s footing the bill. But Chuck’s not too happy about that either. He wants us to pay for it.”
“Why look a gift horse in the mouth?” Ryan eased back on the couch, getting lost in Penny. She loved Pen like a sister, and her sheer happiness had started to rub off on Ryan.
“He won’t insult my mother, but I think he likes being the man. By the way, I stopped by the hospital today to see Nolan. Oh, my God.” Penny fanned her face. “That little boy is adorable. And your brother is just beaming. He even gave me a huge hug and kiss.”
Ryan’s entire being warmed at the mention of her nephew. “I can’t wait to spend some real time with him. This whole thing has really put a damper on his arrival.”
“I’m sure Marci and Pat will be calling on good old Auntie Ryan.”
A click from the other room made Ryan jump. “Did you hear that?”
Penny nodded, looking over her shoulder.
“I’m home,” Jared bellowed.
“Damn that man.” Ryan leaped from the couch. “Come on. Let’s go find out what happened.”
Without checking to see if Penny followed her or not, Ryan bolted into the kitchen, meeting a long faced Jared. “I’m not sure I like that look.”
“Me neither,” Penny said. “Did you get the bad guy?”
“We did,” Jared said, raking a hand across his head.
“So why the long face?” Ryan asked. Her body trembled in fear, but not for her life this time. “George was behind this, right?” Ryan gripped the chair, locking gazes with Jared.
His face softened. “We can’t get a confession out of either of them, but Rudy has been arrested. Nick needs you to come down to the station and identify your underwear.”
“Oh, that should be a blast,” Penny muttered. “You want me to go with you?”
“You should go home,” Ryan said, turning to Penny.
“You call me if you need me, day or night, got it?” Penny looped her arms around her and squeezed tight. “I love you,” she whispered.
“I love you, too.”
“Hey, since this nightmare is coming to an end, any reason she can’t go shopping with me tomorrow afternoon?” Penny looked at Jared.
“I don’t see why not.” He shrugged.
“Great. Oh, you do want to be my maid of honor, right?”
“As long as I don’t have to wear pink taffeta.”
“Oh, good God, no.” Penny laughed. “Call me in the morning, okay?”
“You got it.”
“I’ll walk you to your car.” Jared pulled back the door.
“Thanks.”
Ryan stood on the back porch and watched Jared open Penny’s car door, helping her slide behind the steering wheel. He was quite the gentleman. To everyone. Ryan realized all his actions were the same. He treated the world with the same respect he’d treated her. Nothing special, it was just the way he was. God, she hoped he’d get called to Rochester in the next twenty-four hours. Her acting abilities wouldn’t last much longer.
* * * *
Jared stood in the still of night and watched Penny’s car disappear in the darkness. He couldn’t understand why he was still tormented. As long as Ryan identified her underwear, the district attorney assured him they had enough evidence to bring full charges against Rudy.
George was a different story, unless Rudy blew him in. But George was already behind bars and wouldn’t be getting out anytime soon.
Jared turned and faced the main house. The large home glowed against the clear lake. Everything about the solid structure sparkled. It needed a family to fill its quiet walls. He could picture a swing set with a sandbox and a couple of kids running around in the yard. He could see Ryan with a few kids, managing a career and home life, and doing a damn good job.
But he couldn’t picture himself in that family, no matter how hard he tried. Loving her had become the easy part. T
elling her, well, that was impossible, because he still couldn’t give her what she desired most in life—stability.
Leaving would be best for both of them.
He took a few steps toward the house, where she stood on the porch, arms around her middle. The possibility of a baby still loomed in his brain. To his knowledge, she hadn’t gotten her period.
When he reached the porch, he wanted to tell her so many things, but just couldn’t bring himself to. None of it mattered anyway. “They can hold Rudy tonight, so we don’t need to go to the station until morning.”
“What if it’s not my underwear?”
“Then he walks,” Jared answered matter-of-factly. No need to beat around the bush, she’d been through too much for him to sugarcoat this.
“What if I can’t identify them?”
Her soft skin calmed his nerves when he took her by the elbow and led her back into the house. “I’m sure that won’t be a problem.”
“What about at trial? I mean, lots of women shop at Victoria’s Secret.” Her voice trembled.
Closing the door and securing the lock, he pulled her into his arms. “One step at a time, okay? The D.A. thinks we have a good case, and he wouldn’t go to trial if he thought he might lose.”
“Is this really over? Can I really let my guard down?”
He cupped her chin. “You should always be aware of your surroundings, but yes, this is over.”
“Thank God.” She pushed herself from his clutches, then rolled her neck.
He scowled. “I still want you to stay clear of Tom.”
“I have to work with him.”
“Don’t care.”
“Oh, trust me. I think this experience has taught me a thing or two about being a bitch.”
He wanted to laugh. Ryan could never really be a bitch. She was too nice. One of the many things about her he admired and adored. She had an uncanny ability to see the good in most people.
“Jared?” She touched his hand. “What’s going on?”
“I’m just tired.” He threaded his fingers through hers. “Closing a case is always anticlimactic. The experts say it has something to do with the rush of adrenaline, then the letdown when it’s all over or some such nonsense.” What a line of bull that was. And he wasn’t tired. He was restless. “Should we take a pregnancy test or something?”