by Terry Fowler
Her heart hurt at the thought of never seeing Josiah again but Leah accepted that things weren’t going to change. She couldn’t be what he needed her to be.
Tomorrow morning she would leave for Atlanta. Leah would settle in at Kim’s and prepare to start work on Tuesday. The prospect of her new life alternately thrilled and frightened her.
Because the position was temporary, Leah would hold on to her condo until she had a permanent position.
She glanced at her watch. Time to get a move on. She’d told her mom she’d be at their house by five and she still had to pack her car and do a few more things. She’d have dinner with them, spend the night and say her goodbyes early the next morning.
But there was one last thing she had to do.
Leah sat down at her desk and pulled a sheet of stationery from the drawer. She picked up her pen and wrote, the words pouring from her almost faster than she could write them down.
After she finished, she reread the last few sentences. “I hope you can say goodbye to your father, Josiah. You deserve happiness and you know what you want—go after it. Life is too short to be mired down by things you can’t change.”
Leah signed the letter with love and slid it into the envelope. She grabbed the telephone book and looked up the address for Josiah’s firm. She marked the letter “personal.” This correspondence would not rest under a blotter for years. It wasn’t closure for her but Leah prayed it would be for him. This was a message she wanted Josiah to read.
She placed the sealed letter next to her purse. She needed to run by the post office to have her mail forwarded. She could mail it then. Josiah would read her letter after she arrived in Atlanta.
And hopefully he would understand that she cared and was sorry for the unintentional hurt she’d caused him. Then she bowed her head and prayed his life, and hers, would be better in the future.
Chapter 16
Josiah left the office around six on Friday evening. Leah should be home by now. He’d come with no plans, thinking they could walk and talk. For two weeks he’d mulled the situation over in his head and had no idea why he thought she would forgive him. He just knew he had to tell her he loved her. He wouldn’t blame her if she didn’t speak to him.
At her building, he pressed the bell for Leah’s unit for the fifth time. Where was she?
A woman walked up and glanced at him as he stepped aside for her to key her entry code.
She looked at him again as if trying to place him. “Oh, hi. You’re Leah’s friend. I’m sorry but I’m terrible with names.”
He remembered Leah introducing them one night when he brought her home. “Josiah Byrd. I wanted to see her but she’s not home. Guess I’ll wait for a while.”
“It’ll be a long wait. She moved out today.”
Leah had moved? Where had she gone? She loved her condo. “Do you know where she went?”
The woman smiled. “She has a job in Atlanta. She left this afternoon.”
Atlanta? A job? Why was she going to Atlanta? She belonged here in Wilmington. With him. “Thanks for the information.”
Josiah called the words as he raced to his car. He would go see her parents. Surely they would tell him where to find her. He drove as fast as possible, hating the long uneven lines of traffic that blocked his way. A relieved sigh slipped out when Josiah cleared the worst of it and turned off Market Street into the residential neighborhood where the Wrights lived. As he turned onto their street, he spotted Leah’s vehicle parked in her parents’ driveway. She hadn’t left yet.
Pausing briefly outside his car, Josiah swiped at the moisture beading on his forehead. When almost overcome by the need to run away, he spoke softly to himself. “You can do this. You have to do this now.”
Josiah had to tell Leah she made a difference in him and he loved her with all his heart.
He rang the bell and knocked on the Wrights’ front door but there was no answer. What was it tonight with people not answering their door? He realized they were probably on the patio enjoying the late August evening. He walked around to the side gate and called “Anyone home?”
“We’re here. Come on back.”
He hurried into the backyard, his gaze finding Leah as she jumped up from her reclining position on the chaise longue at the sight of him. “Josiah? What are you doing here?”
“Hope I’m not interrupting.”
“Not at all,” Marty said. “Come sit down. Can we get you something to drink? Leah made a pitcher of lemonade.”
“That would be wonderful. Don’t get up. I’ll help myself.”
Josiah pulled a disposable cup from the package and poured the icy lemonade. He took a sip and it felt good against the dryness of his throat.
Marty Wright smiled and said, “Come have a seat. How have you been?”
“Staying busy. Doing a lot of thinking.”
“Did it hurt?” Leah flashed him a cheeky grin.
He smiled back at her. “Surprisingly little.”
Ben jumped into the conversation. “What brings you our way?”
“I need to talk to Leah. Can we please talk in private?” His blue gaze pleaded with her to say yes.
She glanced at her parents and back at Josiah. “Sure.” She stood. “We can go inside.”
In her parents’ living room, they sat on opposite ends of the sectional sofa. Lady strolled into the room and jumped up into Leah’s lap.
“You’re leaving?”
He noted her hesitation. Finally, Leah nodded. “I have a job in Atlanta. I start work on Tuesday.”
“What about your work here?”
She frowned. “I can barely support myself.”
Panicked, he said, “Don’t go. Stay. I’ll give you a job.”
Her shocked expression told him this was not what she’d expected to hear.
“I need more than a couple weeks of work, Josiah. It’s time I stopped allowing my life to control me.”
He noticed that she wouldn’t look at him. She smoothed a hand over the cat, playing with her as Lady batted at her teasing fingers. “You are in control, Leah. Do you really want to leave your parents and the city where you’ve spent most of your life?”
“No, but sometimes we don’t have a choice.”
“You do have a choice. I’m asking you to stay. And not for a short stint organizing my condo. You can work in the office. I don’t care if you organize the place or teach organizing classes.”
She looked almost hopeful. “You’re not being practical.”
“I’m trying to tell you I love you and I don’t want you to go. You need to stay so we can get to know each other better and you’ll marry me. We’ll move into Mom’s house and raise our babies there.”
That got her attention. “Josiah?”
Crestfallen, he asked, “You don’t love me?”
“No. I mean, yes, I do.” She looked flustered.
“You do?” Hope leaped within him.
“Yes. That’s another reason I decided to leave. I didn’t want to be in the same city and never see you.”
He leaned closer. “You can see me all the time. Every day for the rest of your life. I’ve missed you, Leah.”
“You didn’t call.” The accusatory words mirrored her pouty expression.
“I’ve been working on myself. Trying to change who I am.”
“I liked who you were.”
He smiled. “You’ll like the new and improved me more. I’ve prayed about these feelings and I’m happy to say I’ve realized the importance of forgiveness. I stepped out of the world of denial I’ve been living in for years. I can’t take the blame for the things I couldn’t control and I can’t be responsible for Mom’s happiness and well-being.”
Confused, she said, “But I have this j
ob.”
“Plans change. They’ll find someone else.” Josiah hoped she would agree. He didn’t want to live without her.
“Kim’s expecting me. She’s offered me her spare room. Probably gone to a lot of trouble getting it ready for me.”
“She’d understand if you tell her you’re in love and can’t go.”
“Why are you doing this now? I haven’t seen you in weeks. Why would you show up when I’ve finally gotten my life on track?”
“I was afraid?”
Her skeptical look told him she wasn’t buying that. “Afraid of what?”
“That I won’t be a good husband and father. That I’ll be like my dad and grandfather.”
“Sure, you’ll be like them. You have their blood running through your veins. But you’ll be you. You would be there for your kids. And if you were my husband you’d be there for me, just as I would for you. Marriage is a partnership, Josiah. Both parties have to give far more than they ever hope to get back to have a successful marriage.”
“That’s why I need you in my life. You don’t hold back.”
“You aren’t a kid, Josiah. You’re a grown man who runs a successful business. Why would you have doubts?”
“Because it’s not always about being successful. Careers are great but love is better. Knowing the people you love will stand beside you through thick and thin.”
“Did you doubt I would be there for you when this thing happened with Cecily?”
“That’s just it. I didn’t think. I reacted. And I was ashamed.”
“Too ashamed to talk?”
Josiah stood and fished in his pocket. He pulled out a round cut diamond engagement ring with smaller diamonds running down each side. “I bought this ring a week ago. It took me that long to convince myself that you wouldn’t throw me out. I went to your place tonight, hoping we could make up. When your neighbor said you’d left this afternoon, my first thought was I had to find you. I would have driven to Atlanta just to tell you how I feel.”
He dropped to one knee. “Leah, I love you so much. I don’t want to rush you. I know we need more time to know each other, but will you please consider marrying me?”
She met his gaze. “When did you realize you loved me?”
Lady turned up her nose and jumped off Leah’s lap. Josiah took her hands in his. “I think the feeling snuck up on me from the beginning. I just know that it became important to speak to you. To see you. To spend time with you.”
“And then you accused me of being disloyal.”
“I’m truly sorry about that. If it makes you any happier, Mom gave me what for when she heard what had happened.”
She moved forward into his arms, her hands smoothing his face. “I didn’t want that.”
“I know. She didn’t say anything I didn’t need to hear.”
“Is she the reason you came here tonight?”
He shook his head in denial. “I know I’ve been an idiot about this, Leah. I let the most important person in my life slip away because of my fears.”
“Let it go, Josiah.”
He nodded. “I have. Mom and I agree it’s time to move on with our futures. She’s happy with Peter. He treats her well and they enjoy each other’s company.”
“I’m glad. Uncle Peter is a good guy.”
“She doesn’t know I planned to ask you to marry me. This is between us. So what do you say? Will you stay? Give me a chance to prove how much I love you?”
Josiah sensed her indecision. He prayed she wouldn’t walk away from him.
Her head moved slowly from side to side. “I can’t. I’ve accepted this job and I need to do this. I’ve been so frustrated over the path my life is taking. And I want to finish my thesis.”
When he rose and started to walk away, Leah shot up off the sofa and grabbed his arm. “Wait. It’s temporary. Two months. I’ve prayed, seeking God’s guidance and feel He’s directing my path. I need to do this. For me.”
“I can’t bear the thought of being away from you for two seconds much less two months.”
“We’ve just spent weeks apart.”
“Because I was stupid.”
“No.” Leah shook her head firmly. “You were confused. I’m not a fan of long-distance relationships but we can communicate while we’re apart. There’s the telephone, Skype, email. Atlanta is only seven hours away by car and less than that by plane. Please, Josiah. I need to do this.”
Everything in Josiah said no. He wanted to drop to his knees and beg but understood that Leah had to follow her heart. He nodded. “We will communicate. And I’ll come visit you in Atlanta every chance I get.”
Leah flung her arms about his neck and hugged him. “Thank you for understanding.”
Josiah held her tight. He couldn’t say he understood but he wouldn’t stand in the way of her doing what she felt she had to do.
“Anything you want. Our initial meeting may have been unintentional but make no mistake about it, I’m yours and have no intention of giving up on us.”
“I won’t give up on you either, Josiah. I love you.”
He kissed her, savoring the uniqueness of the beautiful young woman he longed to call his wife.
Epilogue
Six months later
“You may kiss your bride.”
Josiah folded back her veil and kissed Leah to the applause of their assorted guests.
She touched his cheek and whispered, “I love you.”
He winked and shifted his coat slightly so she could see the envelope he had placed over his heart. “I love you.”
Josiah treasured her letter to him and carried it over his heart on their wedding day. For him, that letter received after her departure had become a statement of her love, written before he had come to her.
The pastor indicated they should turn to face their families and friends. “And now it is my happy privilege to congratulate and introduce to you Mr. and Mrs. Josiah Byrd.”
They paused briefly, Leah taking her bouquet of white roses and calla lilies with green leaves from Kim. Josiah held her hand as they took their first steps down the aisle. They paused by the front pews to kiss their mothers and then hurried toward the open doors, smiling so big with their joy they were surprised their faces didn’t crack.
Once outside, Josiah swung her around. “Ready for Paris, Mrs. Byrd?”
“Definitely.”
Marty came outside a few minutes later. “The photographers are waiting.”
“We’ll be right there, Mom.”
Josiah shook his head in disbelief. “Still can’t believe you want a book of photos cluttering up your life.”
She squeezed his arm. “Okay, I finally got what our moms meant by holding on to your memories. Those wedding photos will be treasures I plan to hold on to with all my might. I’ll share them with our kids and we’ll look at them often to remember this wonderful day.”
He kissed her. “We will. Let’s go see that photographer.”
The time apart had been even worse than the time they’d missed out on because of Josiah’s doubts. Leah liked to think their love had grown with their ability to communicate. They’d learned how to say what needed to be said when the opportunity presented itself instead of waiting for later. Josiah had traveled to Atlanta about once a month and Leah had flown home twice with her most recent visit being for Thanksgiving. Her parents had been so disappointed by her practicality when she said she’d be home for Christmas but not Thanksgiving that Leah had bought a ticket. Josiah, Cecily and Uncle Peter had joined them and it had been a wonderful holiday.
When her job had been extended for an additional month, Josiah protested, saying he needed her to come home. She had promised him that she would come soon. Leah’s feelings of self-worth had escalated with
the praise she’d received from the staff. She’d even progressed with her thesis. Kim had been very helpful in moving the process along.
On her last weekend in Atlanta, Josiah had flown in to join her on the drive back. Leah greeted him with a hug and kiss. It had only been a week since she’d seen him but it seemed more like forever.
“They offered me another extension on my job,” she told him that night over dinner.
“What are you going to do?”
She shrugged. “It’s good experience for a résumé.”
He had learned that the Wright women needed to make their own decisions. “Tell you what. The Children’s Christmas Parade is tomorrow. Let’s bundle up and go enjoy ourselves.”
Leah liked the idea. “And there’s an indoor Christmas festival I wanted to see.”
“I saw that Macy’s has the tree-lighting with performers and fireworks. Okay, we’ve got a plan to overdose on Christmas. We’ll have fun tomorrow and think about the future on Sunday.“
They managed two of the three events and went out to dinner Saturday night.
“Can we please talk about the job thing? It’s driving me crazy.”
“What do you want to do, Leah?”
“I like the work and the people but I miss you and my parents.”
Josiah reached into his coat pocket and set the jewelry box on the table. “Is this still in play?”
Her engagement ring. Though she’d never put it on her hand, Leah knew without a doubt that she would wear the ring. “Yes. Today I watched those families and the enjoyment on the kids’ faces and I knew that’s what I really want out of life.”
He reached for her hand. “It’s yours. Do you want me to drop down on bended knee and ask you again?”
Leah had read of fabulous engagements and imagined what her own would be like but in truth the look in Josiah’s eyes at this very moment said all there was to say. He loved her. And she loved him. “Yes, Josiah. I want to be your wife.”