Sarah tried to time her request for the right moment. Just as James was about to follow the commander out the door, she asked, “Oh, ahh, Instructor Conway, how are Jackson and Thibodeau doing?” To her delight, the commander left, and James closed the door and sat back down, this time his expression was kind, yet reserved.
“James, what did Williams say?”
“Nothing, he believed me.” James looked down and shuffled his feet. “But there will be noise. I could see it on the faces of the others on the way back.”
“What are were going to do, James?” Sarah covered her face and wanted to cry.
“We need to talk this out in private. Not here in a damn hospital room.” He shook his head and ran his palm through his hair.
“Where? How?”
“Since you have R and R tonight, call a cab and meet me at Tony’s Bar, down on Sixth Street. It’s a long haul, but it’s far enough off base no one goes there from here.”
“What time.”
“09:00.”
“I’ll be there.” She smiled and nodded her head.
James grinned, as he placed his boot in front of the door jam, and whispered, “I love you, Sarah—and you own me one.”
“James’…” She looked at him with tears in her eyes.
“Don’t worry Sarah. We’ll work this out. I’ll resign as an instructor and asked to be reassigned if I have too.”
“No!”
***
That evening in the mess hall recruits and staff alike were buzzing around Red Team like flies, wanting to hear about their island adventure. She was sitting with William, trying to finish her meal when Simms came up and shooed the nosey ones away pleading for their privacy. Sarah had been trying to talk to Williams alone since she left the hospital. On the way back from dinner she got her chance. Sidling up to him, she said, “Hey, Williams, now that we can talk, I have a question.”
“Sure, what is it?” Williams asked, sauntering toward the barracks.
She lowered her voice to just above a whisper, and said, “I know you saw us—“
“Sarah, you don’t have to go there. I’m not going to breathe a word,” Williams said. Jamming his hands, into his pockets he stopped and looked her square in her eyes. “You can trust me, Sarah.”
She turned away trying to hide her embarrassment. Then she shook her head, and said, “I know I can, I never questioned that, but what do you think will happen now?”
“A lot has to do with Conway. The onus is on him right now. As far as everyone is concerned, you’re a hero…helped save us all. Hell, Sarah, the MPs finally had to run the press off the base after Cmdr. Jones gave them his statement. They were raising hell, trying their best to get an interview with you. So you’re safe, but I’m not so sure about Conway. Being the instructor and all, he knew the rules and made the decision to break them.” He took her arm when she started to sob and walked her to a bench under a royal palm tree and sat down with her.
Sarah gasped and raised her head out of her hands. “How would anyone know that if you didn’t tell. Was someone else with you that I didn’t see?”
“No. It’s all supposition, but usually, where there’s smoke, there’s fire. The guys are putting two and two together. Hey, look as far as I know we’re all happy for you…you two make a perfect couple. You grew up together—have so much in common. Hell, I wish my fiancé, and I had the same relationship.”
“That was sweet.” Sarah squeezed is hand.
“The problem is there are always going to be one or two who are jealous, or some just get off making trouble. Simms knows more than you think. I’m pretty sure he and Conway are tight—bet my left nut Conway has confided in him about you. So who knows what Simms may have let on to the other team.”
“What do you mean?” Sarah leaned forward on the bench.
“The guys have been watching. They see how he looks at you…and how he tries not to look at you. Guys can feel that stuff. You know, Simms probably didn’t say anything directly to let the cat out of the bag. It would be more what he didn’t say. What kind of talk he let the others get away with before correcting them, or telling them to shut their pie holes.” Williams picked up her hand, and said, “Look, I better get back before they start a rumor about you and me.”
Sarah glanced at her watch, and said, “Yeah, I hear ya. I got to get changed and get going.”
“Where’re you going?”
“Oh, I thought I would visit my Aunt Martha while I had a chance,” Sarah mumbled.
“Goin to meet James, aren’t ya?”
Sarah felt her cheek warming up, and said, “May as well tell you the truth. Yes, James and I have things to discuss, and we can’t do it here—but Aunt Martha does live in San Diego, and I should drop by and visit her sometime.”
“Godspeed, Sarah Connors,” Williams said, as he stood up and walked on ahead.
***
That same afternoon, after James left the hospital and headed back to his office, as soon as he opened the door, the phone rang. It was Cmdr. Jones telling him to get over to his office ASAP; they had some issues to work out. On his way over to the command post, his mind went to work planning what to say. He figured Jones had gotten wind that he and Sarah had been caught in a compromising position and wanted to know his side of the story before all hell broke loose.
James swallowed hard and knocked on the commander’s door. “Come on in Conway,” he said, directing James to sit in the chair he had placed in front of the desk. James’ sucked in a quick breath, knowing that was what they called the ‘grillin chair.’ Cmdr. Jones was famous for using that technique when he wanted answers. James had learned from experience the closer the chair was to the desk, the worse the grillin process—and there was barely room for his legs.
Cmdr. Jones leaned forward with his forearms on his desk, and said, “You know Conway, I’m deeply considering nominating Chief Petty Officer Connors for the Honor Man Award. I know, training isn’t over yet, and the other knuckleheads haven’t done their first maneuver, but showing bravery and know-how on that island like she did will be hard to beat. But I wanted to get your feedback first. You were there. I wasn’t.”
James let out the breath he hadn’t realized he was holding, and said, “Honestly sir, I think she’d make an excellent choice. I don’t see her washing-out anytime soon.” He chuckled to himself, thinking back at how General Connors had worked the three of them to death, creating the perfect set up to ensure his legacy. “Her father taught her well, sir.” James rubbed his palms against his thighs before asking, “Is that all? I have a boatload of paperwork to do.”
“Not so fast, Conway.” Cmdr. Jones leaned back in his office chair and laced his fingers behind his head. “I’ve been hearing some noise bubbling up about inappropriate behavior between you and Connors. How far has it gone, Conway. You haven’t fucked her have you?”
“No, sir. I have not had intercourse with Connors, Sir.”
Cmdr. Jones chuckled and sat forward again, saying, “ You’re a better man than I Conway. At your age, my dick did more thinking that my thick noggin. That’s why I’m still a commander and haven’t made it to captain yet.”
James decided it was his chance to set the record straight. “I want to, though, and as soon as training is over, I will.”
Cmdr. Jones shook his head. “I thought so. She’s quite a catch…and it’s not like you aren’t already a member of the family. The old man has nothing but good things to say about you—“
“And I don’t want to mess that up, sir.”
Cmdr. Jones rubbed his brow and leaned forward. “ You want me to transfer your ass to another class? I can do that. Take the pressure off ya.”
“Thank you, sir. I’ll give it some consideration and let you know. Anything else?”
“No. You’re dismissed.” Just as James was about to leave, Cmdr. Jones had one last word of advice. “Keep your dick dry, son” Then he smirked, and said, “At least as far as Connors is concerne
d. Take your frustrations out on someone else. Need any phone numbers?”
James chuckled. “No, sir, no phone numbers.”
***
Just as planned, James roared up to Tony’s Bar in his jeep and slipped into the parking spot near the front door. Stuffing the key inside the pocket of his black jeans, he pulled open the door. James glanced around at every booth and table—no Sarah. Slumping a bit, he strolled over to the bar and ordered a beer. It was 09:15 Had she changed her mind? Maybe something had come up forcing her to stay behind? James peered at the basketball game on the wide screen near the bar and watched UCLA struggle against University of Louisville’s defense. Just as he was holding up his finger, signaling the bartender for another brew, someone poked him in the back. He turned and faced the most beautiful sight he had ever seen.
Sarah smiled, and said, “Want some company sailor?”
“Where were you? I was afraid something had happened?” James asked, scooting off the barstool and pulling her close.
“In the restroom. Been waiting about forty-five minutes for you.” She pressed her cheek against his chest.
James felt himself getting hard. The heat from her body had triggered the reaction. So he turned his mind back to the game to distract himself mentally. He needed to have a clear head, one not clouded by his desire for her. “Let’s go sit back there.” James took her hand then nodded toward the booth furthermost from the door.
Sarah scooted in next to him, and said, “Look James, no matter what happens, you’re not resigning. So don’t even go there.”
He shook his head, and said, “I don’t believe that’ll be necessary, but if push comes to shove, I might have too, Sarah. I can get a job at a security firm. Having the experience of a SEAL looks good on a resume, you know?” James winked at her and took another swing of his brew. Then he kissed her hand, and said, “That might be best anyway. Let you go ahead and finish. After all, you are the general’s daughter.”
Sarah’s eyes got wide. “You mean you’re ready to throw in the towel and give up on us before we even get started?”
“No, darlin, just the contrary—”
Sarah let out a breath, and said, “I talked to Williams, and he’s not talking but, he says others have been watching and may jump at the chance to embarrass us.”
“I admitted to Cmdr. Jones, I wanted to make love to you. So he knows…didn’t come as a surprise. Said he thought you would be a great catch since we already knew each other so well and your father approves of me.”
By that time Sarah had ordered an iced tea and a plate of nachos. James grinned as he watched her scarf down a few in quick succession. After all, they had gone almost twenty-four hours without any grub the day before. She wiped off her hands with the napkin. He could tell she was choosing her words when she squinted her eyes, and said, “ Look, James, I’ve been thinking. I love my father, and I loved Junior, you know that. But it is high time I started living my own life. I’ve proved to myself I am tough and no matter what should be proud of what I have accomplished in this program. Yeah, it would be nice to finish as the first female SEAL.” She looked into his eyes. “But I have to get there for all the right reasons—like being honorable.”
“Technically, you haven’t done anything dishonorable, Sarah. We didn’t have intercourse.” James whispered. “Our instincts were right. For all the right reasons, we restrained from ‘going all the way.’ I don’t believe we have anything to worry about as long as there is no physical contact between us until you graduate. Not even a kiss.” He moved closer, and whispered, “I love you, Sarah. Not being able to touch you until then will be the hardest assignment of my life.” He chuckled to himself. “No pun intended. But I can stay focused, just wait and see.”
She laid her head on his shoulder. “I know we are right for each other, but we are also both in the Navy. I agree we need to play by the rules. I can’t wait until we can make love and not have to worry about the consequences.” After taking another shallow of tea, she turned to him, and said, “And there’s another issue. I don’t want to put the others, Williams, Simms—I know he must suspect something—in a position where they think they have to cover for us. That’s not right either. We have to play by the rules—rules are rules James, whether we like it or not.”
He shook his head and squeezed her hand, “Yeah, that’s the truth.”
By that time the ball game was over and the late night news had come on. James watched for a moment. We wanted to see the weather forecast, when just before going to break the announcer said, “Say turned we have a special report from the Naval Special Warfare Center at Coronado.”
Sarah looked up, and said, “Wonder what’s going on now—never a dull moment out there.” A moment later, James’ jaw fell slack, and Sarah put her hand in front of her mouth and gasped when they saw a video of her getting off the chopper and a photo of James. The reporter was standing on the beach with the lights of the base behind him saying, “It has been reported Chief Petty Officer Sarah Connors and SEAL’s instructor Lieutenant James Conway engaged in sexual relations while they were marooned on the island. Recruit Connors’ in the daughter of retired General George Connors. Attempts to locate the two have been unsuccessful.”
James felt as though he had been punched in the stomach. He pulled Sarah close and held her while she sobbed. Then she shook her head, and in-between sobs, whispered, “I am so ashamed. Daddy watches this station. I was prepared to tell him about us in time when I was ready. This will kill him.”
James wanted to cry too, but his love for Sarah gave him courage. He had hope for their future when he said, “I have no choice now. I’ll have to resign.”
CHAPTER SEVEN
James waited at the outside door of Cmdr. Jones’ office with the public information officer, Sargent Knight, who was holding his iPhone ready to record James’ statement—the one he refused to give. It had been an hour since James kissed a devastated Sarah goodbye. Before leaving the bar, he had opened the glove box of his jeep and pulled out his phone. There had been at least a dozen messages, texts, and voicemails from various people. He had called Cmdr. Jones and was told to meet him ASAP at his office and to speak to no one, especially the information officer. James was surprised that Cmdr. Jones’ voice had seemed calm. James was well aware of the commander’s destain for the press, but he especially hated the media. James knew his real concern would be the nature of the blowback from the DC brass—many of which Jones had locked horns with in the past on several issues.
The door swung open and a red-eyed Cmdr. Jones motioned for them to come inside. By his swagger, James figured the commanded had probably been at the O Club bar and seen the same report he and Sarah had witnessed. Pulling out his chair from under his desk, Cmdr. Jones said, “Conway, tell this gentleman what you told me this afternoon. Reassure him, you and Connor’s did not have intercourse!” Before he let James make his statement, Cmdr. Jones rambled on, directing his remarks to Sargent Knight. “You need to plug this leak up right now before the national news gets their sticky hands on it. While you’re at it, I want the names of those on base doing the talking! The goddamn media would love to make this into some kind of reality show made for stupid folks who don’t care about the careers or reputations of those involved. You understand me, son?” Knight nodded and swallowed hard. He stood at attention while Cmdr Jones shook his finger at him, and said, “You fuck this up Sargent, and your ass will be on a slow boat to China. Any questions?”
“No, sir.”
Cmdr. Jones turned to face James and made a circular gesture motioning for him to proceed, and said, “Go ahead, Conway. Give the man your statement.”
James turned to Knight, and with a slight smirk, he explained, “I did not have intercourse with Chief Petty Officer Connors!”
“On the island—”
“That will be all Sargent. You are excused.” Cmdr. Jones pointed at the door. After waiting a moment, he sauntered over and yanked it open. Seeing K
night was gone, Cmdr. Jones said, “Good! I don’t trust that mother fucker.” Turning back to James, he said, “Now let’s talk about you.” He pointed toward the same chair James had sat in earlier that afternoon.
“I’m going to put in my resignation, sir,” James said, stammering.
Cmdr. Jones reared back in his chair and put his feet on his desk. “Hold on a minute. Now you’re acting like you’re guilty.”
A Distant Heart: A Contemporary Western Page 17