Billi Jean

by Running Scared

  Taking a deep breath, she focused on him. All of him—and there was a lot of him—and then the floor. The floor was less intimidating. She could not lose her virginity like this. So, no, she was not going to tug Russell over and kiss him like crazy. She was going to let him take her out for a burger and see where this led. That was it. She could do that. Right?

  “Right, you break and enter, then, if you can beat the three minute mark, burgers.” More confident, she moved back and he let her hand go.

  “That’s a date, Sunshine.” He somehow made that sound more like a warning than an agreement.

  “Mmm, we’ll see.” She punched in the numbers on her little microwave timer and glanced at him. He ran a hand through his short hair with a chuckle. He was very approachable when he gave her a look, as if she had done something that was not only puzzling, but funny. After a second, he stopped and slowly put his hands on his hips and tilted his head to give her a long slow look from her toes to her eyes. Her heart slammed in her chest so loudly she was certain he could hear it.

  “You’re a tough little thing. Set it,” he said, with a half chuckle in his voice. Not waiting on her response, he turned, walked over to the door, turned the lock on the inside and shut the door behind him with a snap.

  A grin tugged at her lips as she settled her butt against the counter and waited. She didn’t hear a thing from behind the closed door to her garage. Would he break in without a sound? At least this gave her a chance to settle her nerves. He was so big and, yes, handsome in a rough around the edges type of way. He made her nervous.

  Irene said he had always been a bit of a loner when he was here. His half-brother, Daniel, and Daniel’s wife had died in a car wreck, leaving behind a teenage boy that Russell was raising with the boy’s uncle on the ranch. His buddy, Tim, was the other owner but didn’t live on the ranch itself. Irene said Tim had recently married a nice, local girl. She’d told her that with a speculative light in her eyes. So Lacey had told her that Russ was a big flirt who most likely hit on every woman he saw, and was too bossy. Obviously, he’d heard part of that, which really made her grin.

  “Well, how was that?” A deep voice, followed by a huge man next to her, scared her so badly she screamed and hit him before realising it was Russ.

  “Whoa there, sorry, honey. Settle down. Come on, now…” Firm hands barely stopped her from dropping to the floor. The memory of the attack rose up in front of her eyes like a film at the theatre and she shivered. Her stomach clenched and her heart beat so fast she dug her fingernails into her hand, trying to distract herself from the fear. Oh, God. Oh, God. The room was suddenly too small.

  “Damn, honey, sorry about that. I wanted to show you how much you need that system, not scare the fu—the heck out of you.”

  He gently wrapped an arm around her waist while the other cradled her head against his chest. The room was spinning, and she was hyperventilating. Spots flickered over her vision and she held in a soft sob.

  “Sorry—sorry—you—scared me.”

  “Don’t apologise, I wasn’t thinking. You were scared enough without me adding to it.” His deep voice was right against her ear, warm and masculine. He smelt wonderful, leather, horses, and something clean and spicy. He smoothed a hand up and down her back with a gentle, yet firm touch that did odd things to her.

  Slowly she became aware of how hard and strong he felt against her. She was certain he could break her in two with his bare hands, but he was soothingly stroking her spine. He made a soft sound, like a drawn out sigh, right into her hair, and her panic melted.

  “You surprised me,” she accused him softly, speaking into his sweater.

  He chuckled a bit at that understatement, the sound travelling through her body and tingling along her libido. He rested his chin on her head and drew her closer until she could feel every inch of him, and said, “I might have noticed that. If that was all I had to do to get you in my arms, though…” He had the nerve to wrap his arms around her tighter with a low laugh.

  She couldn’t help but join him, even though she knew she shouldn’t encourage him.

  “Wanna skip burgers and go to bed?”

  “Russell Ryland!” Like she hadn’t already thought of that. Still, she hit him on the chest, which only made him laugh louder.

  “I’m teasing you, Sunshine.”

  Mmm… She had to wonder, because he wasn’t letting her go, and he smelt so good and felt like a furnace, so good she considered letting him continue to hold her. It had been so long since anyone had touched her. Since her father, she realised. But this was different on so many levels. This was much more than comfort, because she was slowly starting to burn. Her breasts felt sensitive and heavy, while her heart was now racing for an altogether different reason. Him.

  “Russ?”

  “Yeah?” He sounded a great deal hoarser than usual.

  “Don’t ever do that again.”

  He stilled—even his hand on her back stopped in mid-stroke. Abruptly, he chuckled and kissed the top of her head. “Promise, Sunshine.”

  “Fine. Then I’ll let you buy me a burger, but don’t do that again.”

  “Yes, ma’am,” he rumbled. “And I’ll call my buddies. Tomorrow you’ll have a new system.”

  Blowing out a breath, she rolled her eyes as she moved back a step or two. “Fine, but I won’t be home. I…I was going to go on a hike.”

  He stared at her, looking frustrated, before he glanced around, picked up his empty beer bottle from the floor and sat down in one of her big kitchen chairs. She sat, too, and tucked her stockinged foot under her butt, pulling her skirt a bit to cover more of her legs. He drummed his fingers once on the tabletop and sighed. She didn’t mind his silences, but something was on his mind. She was beginning to understand some of his subtle expressions. Now he wore that small frown, like she’d done something that irked him, but he was trying to ease his face out of it.

  “What?”

  “Don’t you ever stay home?”

  Well, if that was all… “Not if I can help it.” Jumping up, she shrugged. “Let me go change. Beer’s in the fridge, and no walking around unless you stomp, or at least make some sort of normal noise.”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  “And stop that.”

  He grinned and nodded, stood up and headed to the garage to get a beer, she assumed. “You keep callin’ me Russell, and I’ll stop with the ma’am.”

  Well, damn. She turned and headed to change, her mind and—wow—her body buzzing with the effects of Russell Ryland. He was actually kinda cute when he teased her. Russell? Not Russ? Irene called him Ryland. Irene’s husband Rob, called him Ace, and she’d heard the hardware guy, Dave, call him Ryland. That young recruit had called him Major. So she got Russell? For some reason that made her heart flutter. It sounded like a little boy’s name, not a full-grown, big, fierce man’s name.

  She made sure to lock the bedroom door behind her. Not that it would keep the sneaky guy out if he decided to come in. What on earth had Russell’s job in the SEALs been? she wondered. Her dad had only talked about a few missions, and they had all sounded scary as heck. But breaking and entering? She knew enough about Russell to know he’d not break and enter her house unless she gave him permission. He was one of those honourable guys.

  She tugged her skirt and hose off in record time and slipped into some cords, pulled on a sweater and tugged on socks and boots. She was ready to go. She looked excited when she checked her makeup. Her scar was still so new, she forgot about it a lot of the time. She’d caught the guys at the architecture firm staring at it today, but they’d never said a word. She’d not once seen Russ stare at it, but she knew he’d seen it. Those smoky eyes didn’t seem to miss a thing.

  She sighed heavily and examined herself in the mirror. Her blonde roots would be showing again soon, which meant she’d have to sit her ass in a salon chair again for an hour or more. Bummer. She’d have to find a place in Spokane, since everyone in Troy would gossip
and there was no way she was going to the one salon she’d seen. Maybe even Spokane wasn’t far enough, she considered. If anyone did see her? Well, everyone changed their hair colour. Why not her? And Russ seemed to like it. A flush filled her cheeks at that.

  She was weakening to Russell Ryland. Who wouldn’t? It was nearly impossible trying to avoid him, and when he focused all that masculine energy in her direction, and only her direction, it was impossible not to respond. But maybe she needed to stay strong. She had no idea if having something with Russell Ryland was such a good idea. Heck, she didn’t even know what Russ wanted from her. Sex? More than sex? A relationship? She had no idea.

  The memory of him telling her he never flirted, but would with her, made her tummy flip-flop around.

  Sex. He wanted sex, for certain. Had any man ever been so close to getting it before? God, she was in over her head. She felt more alive than she ever had before in her life. It was enough to make her want to squeal. Not that she would. And not that they would be, well, yeah, having sex. Right?

  He’d said he wasn’t backing down. Did he mean until he was on top of her, holding her close while they made love? God. That made her tingle all the way up her spine.

  One look at her bright red cheeks, and she ran the faucet and washed her face with cold water until it didn’t feel so hot. Sighing once more, she met her eyes and shook her head at her reflection. She looked excited—almost bursting with happiness.

  What would her father say? Geez, he wouldn’t be too happy, that was for certain. What did she know about the guy? Not much. He owned a ranch. He was retired from the SEALs. He owned a nice truck. He had all his teeth. Oh, yeah, and he made her toes curl. Her grin spread. Russell Ryland could do a heck of a lot more, too. Whatever she allowed, he’d do it really well. Really, really well.

  Forcing a serious face, she breathed deeply a few times to calm her nerves. A date. It was a date.

  A date. She could do this. Even if her stomach was going insane with butterflies. A date. One last peek at her silly smile, and she headed out to check her outfit in her full-length mirror.

  She looked casual, she decided, but sexy, too, which made her consider changing clothes. Her low-rise chocolate brown cords hugged her butt and hung low enough that a flash of her stomach showed when she reached up to brush her hair off her face. The coarse weave of her burgundy sweater was cool, but the material was a little tighter over her breasts than she had noticed before. She looked stacked. Was looking stacked safe around Russell?

  And there went her blush again.

  She didn’t want to look too sexy, she supposed. And he had dressed casual, but nice. So this would have to do—plus, she was stalling.

  One more glance and she grinned at herself. Maybe Russell was getting more than he bargained for. After all, she’d been waiting for a guy who made her feel sexy and hot for years. And now? Geez, what else did she have to do with all her time? Why not lose her virginity to a hunky SEAL-turned-cowboy? It wasn’t doing her any good keeping it, she thought as she walked back into the living room.

  “Sunshine, are you trying to torture me? I didn’t think you could look prettier than you looked in that skirt, but…” He gave her a long, slow look from her face down to her boots—stopping along the way, she noted—before he let out a long sigh. His gaze had an intense, hungry look she noticed when their eyes met. “You’re beautiful, Susan.”

  There went her cheeks again. “And you swear quite a bit, but thank you. You look nice as well.” Her stomach fluttered at how he’d said her name. It was the first time he’d used it, she realised. And, sadly, it wasn’t hers.

  He shook his head and pulled a face. “Navy. I’m trying,” he said, as if that explained it all. And it did.

  When he didn’t move, or take his eyes off her, she got nervous enough to fidget with her hands. “What?”

  He blinked. “Coat? It’s cold out there.”

  “Ah, my jacket’s in my truck. We’ll grab it on the way out. And where is this burger place, anyway?”

  He nodded and took her hand firmly in his, leading her out after shutting off the lights, leaving the garage light on, and shutting and locking her doors for her. The entire time, he didn’t let her hand go until he helped her up into his truck. It was as if he thought she might change her mind. The way her heart was racing, she should. But nothing was going to make her jump down from his truck, she realised after taking a deep breath of the scent filling it. Warm, spicy Russell? Leather, horses and him. She was addicted already. God, who knew men could smell so…good?

  He glanced at her as soon as he sat down, then turned the truck on and adjusted the heaters so they all faced her. Cute. Too cute. She saw him settle back in the seat, glance out of the windows, then let out a breath like he’d been holding it. Her heart flipped at such a sweet, unconscious gesture. When their eyes met, he seemed to shake himself and frowned.

  “Seatbelt.”

  “Oh, yep. Seatbelt.” She tucked hers on quickly before he issued any more orders. Men. “So, you never said how long you were in the SEALs.” She might as well dig a bit while she was here.

  He shook his head. “No, I didn’t, did I?”

  She hmphed at that and settled down in her seat. His truck was very clean. Neat, even. There was a little dirt on the floorboards, but not much. He shifted the heater to high and backed up slowly, turning easily and heading to town.

  She was so lost in actually going out on a date that she didn’t notice for a long while that they were both sitting and not speaking. Glancing at him, she held in a grin at his leisurely style of driving. He had one hand on the wheel, hanging over the top of it, while he rested his other arm on the middle console between the seats. He didn’t seem worried about her silence. Good. She liked silence. Sometimes chatter was good, but it was nice to sit and relax, too.

  “Ten years.”

  She watched his profile, more than a little shocked. He was still watching the road, but shot her a quick look and grinned.

  “SEALs. Four in the service, then right into the SEALs.”

  “Oh, I forgot I was digging.” She held in a grin when he gave her a surprised look, then slowly smiled. His grey eyes darkened when he did that, she noticed. Got less intense and more relaxed, maybe, or maybe at least a little less guarded.

  “You can ask me anything, Sunshine. What do you want to know?”

  She snuggled down in the big seat, considering the angles and planes of his face. “Well, I heard you only came back recently, after your brother’s accident. I’m sorry to hear you lost your brother. That must have been such a shock.”

  “Yeah, it was. We weren’t close, but it was hard all the same.”

  She waited, but he didn’t say anything more. She clutched her hands together and glanced away from his stern profile. “But you came back to raise your nephew?”

  She’d heard his nephew had been in trouble quite a bit before the accident. “Yeah, well, my nephew’s a great kid. Doesn’t need much more than a man around, really. His uncle—Mitchell—he’s on the ranch, too, and does more than I do with him.”

  “Really?” She tilted her head and slipped her hair behind her ear. “You look like you’d be a good role model. Clean cut, all your teeth, a man…”

  He chuckled and shook his head. “Yeah, come on, Sunshine. You’re a bit hard on a man’s ego. Clean cut? That’s no compliment for a former SEAL.”

  She laughed. He looked so offended at being called clean cut. He was surprising her. Unexpectedly funny, with a quick, dry sense of humour that she liked. And he was very sweet in an unpractised, real kinda way. If bossy. He was bossy. Look at how he’d closed down her house for her. Geez.

  “So why Troy?”

  And he obviously didn’t believe her. Why not? Didn’t it sound plausible? She was in a place that was so different from her past, it was like a dream. Or nightmare. Nothing but him reminded her of her past, and maybe that was why she was so comfortable with him. He reminded her of all
those big guys that came to her dad’s house. And he reminded her of all her father had been. Big, strong, protective and bossy.

  “I mean, of all the places, why this part of the country? Why not somewhere warmer?”

  “Oh, you mean like California or Florida…”

  He nodded and shifted in his seat. She’d wondered the same, but the agents had only said this was a good, safe, out of the way place. Perfect for her to start a new life. So was Canada, she’d replied. Or Mexico. They’d stood pretty firm on Troy, saying she needed someplace completely different from Florida. If anyone even suspected she was still alive, they’d never think of looking in a place like Troy, Montana, they’d said.

  And now that she was here? Yep, Troy was so different from her life before that it was like a dream, or another universe. But what could she tell Russell? If she knew one thing about SEALs, it was that they were trained to read people and situations. He would probably sense a lie because, basically, she was a horrible liar.

  Maybe she could refocus the conversation. It had worked with her dad. Refocusing and redirecting had always worked better than direct confrontation with him. It might work with Russell, too.

  “How old is the puppy? I was hoping to get a puppy but maybe I should get an older dog. I’ve always had a dog, you know? An older one. A puppy’s cute, but not much for protection.”

  He glanced at her once for changing the subject, but let it go. His look warned that he’d only hold back for now. The man was potent. Suddenly it occurred to her that she had no idea where they were going. And at the same time she realised why she hadn’t even thought of arguing about going out with him. He was so confident.

  That was it. That was what she was attracted to in a man, she realised. That was what drew her to Russell. His confidence, and that deep, dark side to him. Bad boy with a hint of arrogance, or more like a heaping dose of confidence, was what she was drawn to in Russell Ryland.

  “A puppy can grow to be a dog quick enough,” he said, interrupting her wild imagination. Why his deep voice had her heart skipping around, she didn’t know, and she wasn’t certain if she liked how easily he could affect her, either.