Full Figured 8

by Skyy

  “So is this the new look? I go away for a few days and you got another chick already making herself comfortable.”

  “Rayne—”

  “Whatever, Loyal. Or should I say Day. Ugh.” I turned back to my desk.

  Loyal didn’t respond. He shook his head and stared back at his computer screen.

  This calmness angered me even more. Not only did he hurt me by having his new woman around but he didn’t seem to care at all that I was upset. I wanted to hit him but I knew I was at work. I couldn’t wait for the final hour to be up.

  We continued to ignore each other for the rest of the night. I could hear him typing on his keyboard. I knew he wasn’t doing work. I figured he was e-mailing his new boo. Every now and then I would hear his phone go off. It was probably one of the other women he was romancing while taking his break from me.

  The end of the day finally came. I knew we were going to have it out, probably in the parking lot or sitting in my car. I began packing my bag up. Before I could finish I watched Loyal grab his paperwork and helmet, and walk out the door.

  I was mortified.

  I grabbed my bags as quickly as I could and headed out the door. Outside I saw Loyal putting his helmet on. His bike was a beautiful turquoise blue and black, which only made him look sexier. I quickly walked over to him before he could take off.

  “So you just gon’ walk off like that?”

  “Got things to do.”

  “So we aren’t going to talk?”

  Loyal looked at me with a serious face. “Not now. Later. But not now.”

  I watched him put his helmet on and take off leaving me standing in the dark parking lot by myself.

  I wanted to cry.

  I felt my world crashing down around me. I didn’t deserve the treatment he was giving me. After all he was in the wrong. It was only normal to not want to be in the presence of his other women. Why would he think that was okay?

  My phone began to ring. I fumbled through my bag until finally finding it. My heart dropped when it wasn’t Loyal. Instead Pashun’s name appeared on the screen. I rolled my eyes and answered the phone.

  “Good evening, Rayne. I hope I’m not interrupting you.”

  I rolled my eyes as I started walking to my car. “No, what’s up, Pashun?”

  “I actually have something for you. I was wondering if I could bring it by.”

  I paused. I pulled my keys out and got in my car. Loyal had already ruined my night; maybe a little company could take my mind off of him. “I’ll be home in about fifteen minutes.”

  I pulled up to my building to see Pashun sitting outside. He had a large canvas sitting next to him. He stood up as I walked up to the door. His jeans were baggy but didn’t actually fall off his body and his white button-down shirt clung to his body showing off how slender he truly was. “Hey.”

  I forced a smile the best I could as I walked toward him. He stretched his long arms out and gave me a hug. We walked up my walkway and into my house.

  Pashun followed me to the living room. I offered him a seat and asked if he wanted something to drink. He asked for some water. I turned and headed to the kitchen, a little upset that he actually asked for something back. This meant he wouldn’t just be dropping off whatever it was to me. I made it back in the living room to find him staring at one of my paintings on the wall.

  “You’ve taken some different directions with your work I see.” Pashun was standing in front of the same portrait that Loyal examined his first time at my house. His long, slender fingers were stroking his beard.

  “Just trying some new stuff.” I walked over.

  Pashun turned around with a very sullen expression on his face. “I see.”

  He took the water from my hands. He stared at me as he took a sip of the cold water. I suddenly felt uneasy. I took a few steps back.

  “So you said you had something for me?”

  Pashun’s expression changed drastically. His tight lips curled up giving him a cute grin exposing the deep right dimple in his cheek. He walked over and picked up the canvas he brought with him. He walked back over to me holding the canvas so I couldn’t see what was on it.

  “So the other day when we did the photo shoot I noticed your expression a few times. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it but I couldn’t get it out of my mind. So ...”

  He turned the canvas around and my mouth dropped.

  “I painted it.”

  I stared at the image on the canvas. It felt surreal; he had captured me as well as any camera could by just using various shades of blue and black.

  “Oh my God, Pashun, wow.” My fingers traced the outline of my painted lips. “I guess I don’t really smile much do I?” I looked up to see Pashun’s face locked on me.

  He smiled. “No, you aren’t big on smiling. That’s normal. It was your eyes that caught my attention.”

  I glanced at Pashun who motioned for me to look back at the canvas. I stared at the eyes. An unsettled feeling came over me. “They look so ... I’m not sure.”

  “Yeah, I know. You know as long as I’ve known you, Rayne, you have been a determined chick. You have always been nice but you could tell that nothing else mattered but you succeeding. Yet at the photo shoot, where you are standing on the brink of the success you desire, there wasn’t happiness or any type of fulfillment in your eyes. Na, mama, you just looked lost.”

  Lost? I repeated the word in my head over and over. An ache hit me in the pit of my stomach. I didn’t want him looking at me. I turned away and stared at my own painting on the wall. I could feel Pashun as he walked closer to me until standing directly behind me.

  “When I saw this picture it just solidified it for me. I don’t know what might be going on, and I’m not going to pry. But just know that, whatever it is, you don’t have to go through it alone. You have a friend in me, Rayne, a friend who is ready to see some joy back in your eyes.”

  I turned around to find myself looking directly at Pashun’s chest. His tall frame towered over me. He put his right index finger on my chin, pushing my face upward until our eyes met. My heart was beating faster than normal, and a slight tingling was overcoming my body. But it wasn’t the same. It wasn’t as electric as I knew it could be.

  “I wanna show you something.” I pulled away before the moment got the best of both of us.

  We headed down my hallway until three faint knocks at my door caused us both to pause. I felt my body tighten up, unable to move from the spot I was in.

  “You expecting someone?” Pashun asked as he looked at the door.

  “Um ...” I knew who it was. There was only one person who knocked like that. I panicked. I couldn’t think of what I was supposed to do in that situation. How could I explain another man being in my house? My mind raced with alternative options. I could have Pashun wait in my studio while I got rid of Loyal, but I didn’t want to get rid of Loyal.

  “I can get the door if you like.” Pashun looked at me.

  The girl from earlier popped into my head. Suddenly things seemed clear. Why was I getting worked up over Pashun being at my house when Loyal flaunted his new conquest in front of me at work?

  “You know what, that’s great. You can grab the door while I get things ready in here. It’s probably just Bianca or a neighbor.”

  I walked into my art room. I stood on the side of the door and listened as Pashun opened the door. I couldn’t hear what was being said but in moments I heard two sets of footsteps headed in my direction. I rushed over to my paint area and picked up an apron like I was really about to do some work.

  “Sup, Rayne.”

  I turned around holding the apron in my hand. Loyal and Pashun both stood at the entrance of my art studio. Loyal had his usual smirk on his face while Pashun’s face let me know he was curious about this man in my house.

  “Loyal, I didn’t know you were coming by.” I forced my legs to move closer to the two men.

  “Yeah, I was in the area and just thought I would
drop by, see how you are doing.”

  “Oh I’m good.” I held my arms out. “Oh, Loyal, this is Pashun. Pashun, this is Loyal.”

  The two men shook hands. They were so different but so much alike at the same time. Both had their own special swag about them. While Loyal oozed sex appeal in a more masculine way, Pashun’s sexiness came from his amazing features and artistic abilities.

  “Well I’m going to get out of your hair. I was just dropping by. I will see you at work.” Loyal winked at me before walking to the door.

  Pashun followed Loyal to the door just as though he was the man of the house for real. I exhaled, happy that I made it through the moment without losing all cool. Moments later Pashun appeared back in the door. “So, coworker?”

  “Yeah.”

  Pashun nodded his head as he walked farther into the room. “So what are you going to show me?”

  One by one I unveiled all the portraits I was showing in the show. Pashun gave me his honest opinion on each. It was refreshing to hear his thoughts. I agreed with him on many of his opinions and even made a mental note to change a few of the things he mentioned on a few of the paintings.

  “Okay so show me the big guy.”

  “What?” I smiled.

  Pashun walked over to the sculpture that was obviously draped under the large white sheet. “I know you didn’t think you were going to show me all these paintings and not show me the sculpture.”

  I felt nervous. No one had seen the sculpture besides Loyal. I suddenly didn’t want anyone to see it, ever.

  “Should I move the sheet or you?” Pashun smiled.

  “Fine.” I took a deep breath and removed the sheet from the sculpture. Pashun froze. A few seconds later he took three steps back. I watched as his eyes squinted. He walked around, studying the art piece from all sides.

  “Well?” The anticipation was killing me.

  Pashun stared at me without saying anything. I could feel him trying to see inside of me. Uneasy, I turned toward the sculpture so that he couldn’t see my face.

  “Are you going to answer me?” I could hear the rise in octave in my voice. The man was making me nervous.

  Pashun walked back over next to me. He looked at the sculpture then looked at me. “It’s good, Rayne. It’s really, really good.”

  Shocked, I turned to see him nodding his head with a slight smile on his face. “You really think so?”

  “Yes. The lines are amazing. The color jumps out. I personally would add a little more gloss on a few areas just to help them pop a little more but overall it’s amazing. Super sexy but haunting at the same time.”

  “Haunting?” The use of word caught me off-guard.

  Pashun nodded his head. “Yeah, I mean look at the way the hands are holding the woman. It’s not endearing or romantic; it’s hard, abrasive. This isn’t a loving embrace by any means.”

  His words hit me like a ton of bricks. “I wouldn’t say that.” I stuttered a bit.

  “Oh, Rayne, come on you have to see it. It’s obvious there isn’t love in this, it’s just sex. Look at how he’s gripping her body. That’s not the way a man who loves a woman would hold her. But then again I guess you wouldn’t really know that.”

  My head snapped around toward Pashun who was still focused on the sculpture unaware that he had just offended me. “You don’t know what you are talking about, Pashun. I know what I am talking about. I designed the thing. There is passion and more in that embrace.”

  “Yeah, no, sorry, not buying it.” Pashun shook his head.

  “And how the hell would you know what I know about? I’ve been held before, asshole. What you think I don’t have sex or something?” I was heated.

  Pashun’s glanced at me completely confused by my outburst. “Rayne, I’m sure you have sex, but this sculpture screams that you don’t know shit about being with a man. It’s just like you lesbians to make sex with a man seem so hard.”

  I froze again. I completely forgot that Pashun, like most people, thought that I was a lesbian. His thoughts would have made perfect sense if this was done pre-Loyal. Loyal’s face appeared in my mind. Was Pashun right? I had been with a man and this was what I sculpted from the experience. Was I wrong in my design, or were there really no true feelings involved in the experience?

  “Show me.”

  Pashun’s face quickly turned to me. I stared at him. I had to know if there was a difference.

  “Show you what?” Pashun’s hands dropped to his side.

  “You say that isn’t endearing. What is endearing? Show me.”

  “Um, are you for real?”

  “Very.”

  Pashun hesitated for a brief moment. I could tell by the look on Pashun’s face that he was taken aback by my request, but like any man staring at something he’s wanted for a long time he wasn’t about to let the moment pass. He slowly walked closer to me. He stood behind me, so close I could feel his manhood pressing against my ass.

  “When a man cares about a woman he doesn’t hold her the same way he holds the bitches he might fuck with on the side.”

  I felt his soft slender hands touching my sides. I closed my eyes.

  “He knows that she is gentle and should be treated as such. Not gentle in a way that she might break if held too hard, but gentle in the way of knowing that prized possessions should be handled with care.”

  His hands moved from my sides until reaching all the way around me. His body pressed firmly against my backside.

  “But what if the woman wants to be held rough?” I asked.

  “Oh he can do that, too. But there’s still a difference.”

  I felt a familiar surge of energy as Pashun’s arms quickly pulled me in as close as I could be. It was forceful, but not rough.

  “When you care about something, you don’t want to see it in pain; you only want it to feel happiness and pleasure.”

  Pashun ran his fingers from the top of my head. I could feel his energy as he softly grazed my scalp until pushing my hair over my right shoulder.

  “You don’t do things that could hurt the thing. You make it your mission not to.”

  Pashun’s fingers grazed the nape of my neck sending chills down my spine. I felt my panties becoming moist from his touch.

  I pulled away.

  I turned to see Pashun standing with an odd smirk on his face. He shook his head. “Do you see the difference?”

  “Maybe.” I flashed a devilish grin back. I could tell he was intrigued. He had never come so close to me before. I could almost hear his mind working overtime trying to decide to make a move or not.

  “A Lover’s Embrace.”

  “What?” I responded.

  “Call the piece A Lover’s Embrace. But with a question mark on the end. I gotta run. It’s been real, Rayne. We should do this more often.”

  Pashun hugged me tight. I could feel the erection in his pants. I knew he didn’t want to leave but I applauded him for not trying to make another move on me. He kissed my hand before I let him out the front door. I headed back to my kitchen but something caught my eye. I picked up the portrait he did of me. Sitting next to it my cell phone notification light was blinking. I turned it on to see a missed text message from ten minutes earlier.

  LOYAL: Still got company?

  I held my phone for a moment contemplating my response. There was a distinct difference in what Pashun did versus Loyal. It was no secret that Loyal wasn’t in love with me or even close. I wasn’t his girl. But could he actually sleep with me and not have any feelings for me whatsoever? I wanted to know. I needed to know the truth.

  RAYNE: No. The door is open.

  Chapter 14

  I heard his footsteps as he walked into my house. I lay in my bed wearing nothing but a short silk kimono-style robe Bianca had given me a few years earlier that I never had a reason to wear. Loyal walked in my bedroom and smiled.

  “Did you have fun tonight?” he asked as he took his shoes off and laid his jacket on a chair.
r />   “It was nice. He gave me some insight on my art.”

  “Insight huh?” Loyal asked as he crawled on top of the bed next to me.

  “Yes.” I turned around toward Loyal. He began to unbutton his pants. He pushed them off. Something different for the man who always laid things out perfectly so he wouldn’t look wrinkled when he left my house.

  “About Kelis.”

  Skinny bitch had a name after all.

  “I don’t care.” I frowned.

  “Yes, you do. And yes, she is someone who is trying to get with me. But I won’t fuck her.”

  “Yeah, right.”

  Loyal shook his head. “You see the way she is at my desk. That is signs of trouble to come. I would never fuck with a girl who is that obvious with what we do at work. You would never know the women I mess with up at the job because they are never around me at work.”

  I sat up. “Wait a minute. Just how many women are you fucking with at our job?”

  Loyal’s lip curled.

  “I’m serious. Tell me.”

  “You mean right now? Probably four.”

  “What!” I tried to get out of the bed but he grabbed my arms.

  “Rayne, don’t start. You know the business.”

  “I didn’t know that meant I was one in a harem of woman at our fucking company. Fuck, are any of them in our department?”

  “Maybe. Maybe not.”

  “Ugh.” I pulled away from him and got out of the bed. I began to pace the floor. Pashun was right; there was no way in the world this man actually cared about what we were doing.

  “So what the fuck, Loyal? What am I to you? Am I just another bitch you are fucking? Was I the ‘turn a lesbian out’ notch on your belt?”

  Loyal sat up in my bed. He wouldn’t take his eyes off of me. The facial expression was daunting. I couldn’t read him. I had no idea what he was thinking and it was driving me completely up the wall.

  He continued to stare at me in silence. I wanted to know what he was thinking. Was he coming up with an elaborate lie to appease me and my out-of-control feelings? Maybe he was trying to come up with the right way to tell me that he wasn’t going to deal with me or my mouth.