by Mindy Klasky
I smiled and nodded and agreed with every single circular word that she said. I didn’t even try to keep her from loading up her cafeteria tray with enough food to feed Derek’s entire platoon. If she thought that she wanted milk and coffee and juice and cereal and oatmeal and a banana and yogurt and a granola bar, well, that was fine. I’d help with some of it.
“I should have known that he’d try that flying thing. I should have prethought the situation.”
“That’s ridiculous,” I chided, and I wasn’t only commenting on her jargon. “How were you supposed to read the future?” She stared at her coffee, her eyes welling up with tears. “Ame? What’s going on? How were you supposed to know?”
“Erin, he told me he was going to jump!”
“What? When? Before you went to answer the phone?” I stared at my sister in shock. I’d been listening to her self-condemnation for hours; it had never occurred to me that she might have a real reason to take responsibility for Justin’s youthful exuberance.
“No, not yesterday. But a dozen times before. He says that Derek flies all the time, and he always says he’s going to do it, too.”
“Derek flies in planes!”
“That’s what I tell him. And he always nods. And he always agrees. But I should have realized that he was just waiting. Just testing me.”
There was something about the way she said it, something about the way her voice broke on the last word that finally clued me in to the fact that something else was going on here, something major. “Amy? How else has Justin been testing you?”
She wouldn’t meet my eyes when she said, “He was kicked out of the public pool last week.”
I was shocked. “Why?”
“For dunking a little girl.” She became fascinated with her spoon. “After three warnings.”
“Amy!”
Now the floodgates were open. “And he purposely spills his milk every night at dinner. He took the picture of Derek and me, the one above the fireplace, and he scribbled through Derek’s face. And he’s wetting his bed every night.”
Cold fingers clutched around my heart. “Why didn’t you tell me any of this? Amy, why didn’t you say anything?”
“What was I supposed to say? That I can’t be a good mother to my son? That I can’t be the parent he needs me to be?”
“Amy, that’s not true! You can’t be the father he needs you to be. Justin is angry, and he’s scared. He’s acting out. You aren’t supposed to handle all of this on your own. You have to ask for help!”
Her lips trembled. “I’d have help, if I had just agreed to go with Derek. I’d have help if I let us live on base. As it is, I’m just drawing lines in the sand, working toward a degree that I may not even get.”
I heard the self-condemnation, miles deep beneath her words. All I could do was reach out to pat her hand, to shake my head in violent disagreement. “You will get your degree. And you can get help here, now. You’ll join up with Derek as soon as you finish school. It’s just one more year.”
She shook her head. “I’m being selfish.”
“You’re being foolish,” I contradicted. “When you get home, I want you to call the base. Ask them to recommend some programs, a counselor or something. Get some help, for both of you.”
“Okay.”
“Promise!”
“Erin—”
“You made me agree to your stupid Master Plan! Making a phone call for the health of yourself and your son is the least you can do in return.” She looked ashamed, which only made me press my advantage. “Okay? Amy?”
She sighed. “Okay. I promise.” She reached for the granola bar, breaking it into four pieces and shoving two of them in front of me. “Speaking of the Master Plan…” she said, the note in her voice clearly informing me that the earlier topic of conversation was closed. “What’s going on with you and Dr. Teel?”
I choked on honey and oats. “What?”
“I guess you decided to throw out the entire Master Plan.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean that you’ve obviously decided to skip over plant, fish and cat, and go directly to man. I saw Dr. Teel’s hands on you last night, and the look you gave him. You were batting your eyelashes like Scarlett O’Hara.”
I felt my cheeks turn the color of Amy’s tomato juice. “I wasn’t batting my eyelashes!”
She didn’t say anything, just looked at me with that big-sister certainty that I hated. “Okay!” I finally exclaimed, as if she’d placed me on the rack and was about to take out the red-hot pokers.
“Okay, what?” she asked, primly peeling the banana.
“Okay, so I was flirting with him. Just a little. But there isn’t anything there, really. He isn’t a threat to the Plan.” I couldn’t actually explain why, though. I couldn’t tell her about Teel’s genie identity, about the single ungranted wish that was keeping us together for the short-term. I couldn’t let her know that Teel didn’t count, that he was never going to be true boyfriend material, that he was—at most—a harmless substitute for the real thing.
I scrambled for something I could say, anything to wipe off the knowing smirk on Amy’s face. “Really. It’s no big deal. We just slept together.”
“What?” People at all the tables around us turned to gawk, apparently unable to believe that a human being could actually produce a squawk at the volume Amy had just broadcast.
“Hush!” I grabbed her glass of ice water and pressed the plastic cup against the burning pulse points in my wrists. “Not slept together, slept together. We just fell asleep. Don’t look at me like that! Nothing happened!”
“I knew you didn’t find some stupid couch in Dermatology!” Foolish me. I thought I’d tricked my sister. Amy nodded shrewdly. “You’re a fast worker.”
“I wasn’t working!” I protested. Then, because that made me sound like a hooker, I grimaced and tried to change the subject. “Will you get me a cup of coffee? A large?” I shoved my wallet into Amy’s hands, intent on making her do something, anything, so that she’d stop staring at me in that infuriating, know-it-all way.
Obviously amused, she unfastened the clasp and fished out a couple of crumpled dollar bills. When she pulled them out, a bright white rectangle drifted onto the table. With a gasp of foreboding, I reached for it, but Amy got there first. “What’s this?”
“Nothing.” I snatched at the business card.
“‘Nothing’ doesn’t make you blush. What is it?” She glanced at the card. “Timothy Brennan? Is that Timothy, the raspberry guy? You carry his card with you?”
I squirmed. “I told you. We were talking about his landlord problems when you called last night. I was frantic, so he gave me his card. He wanted me to let him know what happened with Justin.”
“Erin!” Amy turned my name into a two-act drama of disappointment, disillusionment and family tragedy.
“What?”
“I thought we had an agreement. You told me that you were totally on board with the Master Plan. I conceptualized a whole new future for you!”
“I am on board! Just because I talk to a friendly neighbor doesn’t mean he’s my boyfriend!” I heard the shrill note of protest in my voice, and I fought to keep from flashing on the memory of Timothy’s lips on mine, of his gentle hand at the small of my back as he helped me into the taxi. “I’m allowed to talk to a guy, Amy! The Master Plan isn’t the same thing as entering a convent!”
“Fine,” she said, but I knew that look in her eye. I’d seen it for years—whenever she thought that she was gaining the upper hand, that she was right, that she was in charge. In control. She shoved the business card across the table. “Call him.”
“What?”
“If there’s nothing going on between the two of you, then call him. Right now.” And then she warned, “I’ll know if you’re lying!”
I rolled my eyes in exasperation as I glanced at the huge clock on the far wall of the cafeteria. It was ten in the morning. What was the chance tha
t Timothy would even answer his phone? He had to keep late hours, didn’t he? Closing up the restaurant after all his customers had left? His phone had to be safely shut off this early in the morning.
Forcing myself not to flinch under Amy’s watchful gaze, I whipped out my cell and punched in Timothy’s number. I wanted to invent an automatic messaging machine for callers to use, so that they could avoid anyone picking up on the other end of the line.
He answered on the first ring. “Brennan.”
Just my luck.
“Timothy,” I said, trying to mask my surprise. “This is Erin. Hollister. From the restaurant. And the Bentley.”
“You’re the only Erin I know,” he said, and I could picture his easy, feline grin spreading across his unshaven face. “How’s your nephew?”
“He’s fine,” I said. “Better than fine, actually. It’s like nothing ever happened.”
“That’s great!” He sounded truly happy for me, almost like he’d stayed up late, worrying about my family drama. Stayed up late, as I had with Teel.
My lungs suddenly seemed too small to breathe for my body. My palms started sweating, and I flashed again on the feeling of Timothy’s lips against mine. His kiss had been so different from Teel’s. He hadn’t sparked passion, hadn’t set off a chain reaction of desire, of frustration, of Master Plan justification. Instead, his lips had seemed familiar, comfortable, comforting. Now, his voice on the phone was warm as he said, “I know how worried you were.”
Before I was aware that Amy had moved, she snatched the phone out of my hand. I bit off a shriek of protest, but she merely gave me a superior smile as she tapped the device against the table before settling it beside her ear. “Whoops,” she said. “My sister just dropped her phone—sorry about that. Who is this?”
“Amy!” I grabbed for the cell, but my sister leaned back in her chair, effectively keeping it out of reach. She’d won every game of keep-away we’d ever played as kids. I hated the gloating smile that spread across her face—I knew it well, from the days when all my favorite Barbie dolls had been imperiled.
Master Plan, Amy mouthed at me, before she exclaimed, “Timothy! Erin has told me so much about you!”
“Ame,” I warned. I hated my big sister. I hated the way she ruined everything for me. I hated her stupid Master Plan, and I hated—
“I would love to see your restaurant.” Amy smiled the entire time she was talking. “Maybe this weekend? Saturday night? That would be wonderful! Oh, no, I’ll bring Justin along. He’s great. No, there must have been some misunderstanding, or he’s some sort of medical miracle, or—”
“Amy!” I said through gritted teeth as I finally succeeded in prying my phone out of her hand. She was laughing at me as I said to Timothy, “I am so sorry! It’s me again. My sister is insane.” I glared at Amy, who merely widened her eyes into perfect circles of innocence.
He laughed. “It sounds like she’s just blowing off some steam. You both must be exhausted.”
I flashed on the bed in the on-call room, on the feeling of Teel curled up around me. The memory felt like a betrayal, like I was lying to Timothy even as I continued our conversation under my sister’s highly amused gaze.
But that was absurd. I didn’t owe Timothy anything. I wasn’t involved with him—with him or anyone else. That was the whole beauty of the Plan, wasn’t it? It kept things simple?
I didn’t know what to say, how to answer. I must have stammered out something remotely appropriate, though, because Timothy said, “I’ll let you go. Bring Justin and Amy in on Saturday. I look forward to meeting them.”
“Sure,” I said helplessly. “We’ll be there.”
“Take care,” Timothy said, and something about the way the words resonated made it sound like he was serious, like he meant more than just a platitude.
“You, too,” I said, flashing one last time on the chivalrous way he’d handed me into my cab. Not that I’d needed him to. Not that I’d asked for any man to come rescuing me. I was committed to the Master Plan—a simple fact that I would prove to my doubting, conniving, evil, manipulative sister.
I snapped my phone closed. “You bitch!” I said to Amy.
She laughed. “Come on. It’ll be fun.”
“You’re not really going to come, are you?”
“I’ve run out of ideas for Super Soldier Saturdays. Taking a field trip to the city will be just the thing for Justin.”
“But you’re the one who made me commit to the Master Plan! You’re the one who told me I need to take things slowly!”
“Exactly. And now I’m going to check up on you. Make sure that everything’s on the up-and-up.”
I recognized Amy’s tone of voice. That was the military wife and mother who had decided to go to business school instead of meekly moving to her husband’s base. That was the big sister who knew precisely how hard to yank my chain. Desperate, I reached for the only weapon I could think of. “Aren’t you worried that it might be too much for Justin? I mean, after this whole hospital stay and everything?”
Of course she saw right through me. She always could. “It’s four days away. By Saturday, Justin will be ready to compete in the Olympics.”
Despite myself, I smiled. Amy might be a suspicious, double-crossing shrew of an older sister, but it was much better to see her laughing than to watch the utter despair I’d witnessed the night before. “We should get back up there,” I said. “He’s going to think we’ve abandoned him.”
Amy nodded her agreement, and she led the way back to Justin’s room. We arrived to find my nephew sitting up in bed, pointing at a sheet of paper and ordering Teel, “No! Draw it the right way! Make Soldierman’s cape fly out behind him!” His breakfast tray sat on the nightstand, every bite of pancakes eaten. His orange juice and milk had both been finished, as well.
Teel twisted his handsome features into a grimace as my nephew pounded on the paper. “Justin, I’m a doctor, not an artist!”
Justin giggled. “You can draw it! Draw Soldierman right!”
Amy reached over and ruffled her son’s hair. “What’s the magic word?”
“Please?” Justin whined, spreading the single syllable over his best angelic smile.
Teel rolled his eyes in fake exasperation and started to sketch a flying soldier. Amy nodded at the handiwork. “That’s great, Dr. Teel,” she said. “It’ll be perfect to put into our notebook on Super Soldier Saturday.”
Suddenly, I knew what she was going to say next. I could hear the words spinning through her thoughts before she could voice them. I opened my mouth to protest, ready to explain that Amy was wrong, that Amy was nuts, that Amy was absolutely not to be trusted under any circumstances.
But she spoke before I could. Looking at Teel with perfect mock innocence, she said, “Dr. Teel? Maybe you’ll join us on Saturday. We’re all getting together for dinner at a restaurant in New York, one of Erin’s favorite places.”
Justin’s face lit from within. “Really? We get to visit Aunt Erin in New York City?”
“Really,” Amy said with a broad smile. I barely resisted the urge to glare at her, smothering my annoyance only because Justin would never understand. And Teel might understand too much.
Justin clutched at my genie’s sleeve. “Oh, please? Will you come to New York with us? Please, Dr. Teel? Please?”
Teel laughed at my nephew’s enthusiasm, shaking his coat free as if Justin were an overly exuberant puppy with a chewing problem. The motion made his tattoo flash, but I seemed to be the only person in the room who was aware of the orange-and-black ink. Teel looked from Justin to Amy before settling his gaze on me.
I wasn’t sure what he saw on my face. I didn’t think that he could actually read my mind. I was pretty confident that I’d have to say something out loud if I wanted to derail the looming disaster of his joining us at Garden Variety. I’d have to tell him flat-out “no” in front of Justin, in front of Amy.
And I just wasn’t up for the fight. Not with my s
ister looking on, measuring me closely to see if I truly was committed to the Master Plan. Not with Justin pleading for a trip that had more subtext than his prepubescent brain could ever imagine.
Teel clearly interpreted my silence as permission. He turned to Justin and said gravely, “Sure, Justin. I’ll come to New York.”
I gave Amy a saccharine-sweet smile. “I can’t wait,” I said.
Her beaming response nearly blinded all of us. “You’ll see, Erin. This is going to be a classic win-win. We’re all going to have a wonderful time!”
She waited until Teel bent back over Justin’s drawing before she mouthed a secret message at me: The Master Plan! You’ll be fine!
CHAPTER 9
THREE HOURS LATER, I STUMBLED INTO REHEARSAL, FEELING completely hungover. It wasn’t just because of my scant sleep the night before. It wasn’t just that I had eaten a bunch of hospital food for breakfast. It wasn’t even the thought that my sister was doing her best to test my commitment to the life reorganization plan I’d voluntarily agreed to implement, even though it went against every fiber of my character.
It was the combination of all those things, steeped in the low-grade, recurrent misery of knowing that I should be the person standing front and center at rehearsal. I should be performing the role of Laura Wingfield, using my new-wished skills of singing and dancing to evoke all of the passion, all of the drama, that Menagerie! could bring to satisfied Broadway audiences.
Instead, I was stuck at the back of the rehearsal room, my feet up on the seats in front of me, my script tucked in by my side as I leaned over and exchanged snarky comments with Shawn.
A week into rehearsal, Martina Block still hadn’t caught on to the key concept of our show. She continued to insist that Laura should be Big! And Dramatic! And Exciting! Every Single Moment She Was Onstage! Martina refused to accept that the brilliance behind Ken Durbin’s concept was the transition, the way that Laura changed from a shy little mouse in the spoken-word scenes into a fully realized, completely emotionally mature woman in the show’s musical numbers.