by Anya Summers
“What?” This was all wrong and not how this was supposed to go tonight. She shook her head and said, “No, I can’t. I told you, I don’t do public scenes, ever. I can’t have other people around. It makes me have an attack. I’m sorry to disappoint you, but I will never be a sub in that regard.” Tears formed in her eyes. Out of the gate, her dream night was already tanking because of the defect in her, as usual.
Theo’s hand on her knee had stilled. “So it’s because you know that other people are around, or because you see them?”
Piper had never considered that angle. She thought back to her instances and scenes with Peter years ago. Peter had been a very public Dom, always pushing her, enjoying having an audience as he made a sub come undone under his skillful mastery. She’d always been in a room full of people at the club, could see each and every one as they attempted a scene together, then her panic button would go off and she’d melt down. Had he ever tried another way? She’d been in such a state of misery over her what she considered abject failures, she had never questioned Peter’s methods, automatically assuming the worst of herself. And her therapist wasn’t in the lifestyle, so as good as Caroline was, she had never been able to guide Piper in that area. “Because I could see them, I think.”
“What about if you couldn’t, see the other guests, I mean? Have you tried that?”
“No,” she said, and shook her head.
“Then I have a solution.” Theo unfastened his blue tie from his neck, then gestured for her to lean forward. Her heart hammering in her chest, she did as he asked, and glimpsed pride swimming in his cinnamon eyes as he fitted the silk material around her eyes until the room went dark.
Then he guided her until her butt was resting on the lip of the table. “Now, I’m going to help you lie back and then I’m going to eat your pretty pussy. If at any time you feel an attack coming on, use your damn safeword. I want you to focus on me and what I’m doing to you.”
She nodded, her heart in her throat as he eased her body back so that she was lying against the table. “I’m not going to restrain you, all right? Just relax, enjoy the pleasure, and let me take care of you.”
She wondered why the table was moving beneath her and then realized it wasn’t moving at all. She was shaking, trembling in her fear of another possible attack. She’d scaled mountains, taken a boat through the Amazon rainforest, trekked through Incan ruins to get the perfect photograph, and none of it had scared her as much as this did. Part of being submissive was trusting the Dom. After this morning, she owed him her trust. She inhaled a shaky breath as Theo pressed on, speaking softly, “I’ve got you, love, there’s no pain here between us, just pleasure.”
Piper nodded and surrendered. Theo’s hands toyed with the hem of her dress, grazing her flesh, and delicious twirls of anticipation lit the air around them. Gently, he seduced as his hands trailed along her flesh and he lifted her dress. Cool air caressed her exposed skin as her skirt was bunched up at her waist. Curling his fingertips around the black lace, he drew her panties down her thighs and calves, leaving her sex exposed to everyone in the restaurant.
Piper clenched her fists, battling her anxiety, her heart thumping madly in her chest as she waited for his next move. She could do this. Focus on Theo, not the mind-numbing terror of what might happen.
She sighed and her mouth fell open. Theo’s clever hands trailed up her legs with whispered caresses, starting at her calves and then her thighs as he spread them. Her breath clogged in the back of her throat.
“That’s it, love. Your body knows what it wants and weeps for my touch,” he murmured, then drew his fingers through her folds.
Kinetic pleasure zapped to her core as he teased her flesh, separating her nether lips, stroking under the hood of her clit, and desire flowed in her veins. She gasped when his fingers circled her clitoris, teasing her, but they didn’t touch the tiny nub. She squirmed, craving more from him as she surrendered to his sensual torture.
“Mmm, mmm, I’m dining well tonight,” Theo mumbled. His baritone voice rumbled deep in her chest, and stoked the flames of her desire. Of their own volition, her hips lifted, yearning for more of his exquisite pleasure. Then a burst of air blew over her clit. She hissed at the sharp bolt of pleasure as it arrowed through her. Theo did it a second, and third time, and she whined at the intensity. Bolts of pleasure made her body throb in agony.
And then his tongue, his wonderful, magic tongue, brushed against her distended nub. Pure, undiluted pleasure blasted through her. She closed her eyes behind the blindfold and gave herself over to Theo’s ministrations.
The sounds from the other patrons dimmed. He slurped her clit into his mouth, his teeth grazing the sensitive flesh. His tongue issued a series of fast flicks that left her writhing. Theo laved and teased her flesh with a vigor that stole the very air from her body. Oh god, the man hadn’t been joking about making her part of his meal.
The impromptu blindfold was a godsend. The restaurant attendees receded until her entire world revolved around him. It allowed her to concentrate on just Theo and what his gifted tongue was doing to her pussy.
He lapped at her sex, savoring her intimate flesh with relish. She wanted more, canting her hips, thrusting against the torrid ministrations and the deliciously wicked cunnilingus he was performing. Piper canted her hips, trying to feed him more of her pussy as he licked her labia and clit. Pleasure multiplied with each stroke of his tongue. Then he penetrated her sheath, thrusting his tongue deep inside her channel. Her mouth opened on a moan and stayed that way. He fervently thrust, fucking her pussy with his tongue. She couldn’t have stopped her mewls if she’d tried. The man was a god among mortals when it came to performing oral.
He nibbled, licked, and thrust, driving her body higher and higher. Theo feasted on her flesh like she was a fine delicacy and he was a starving man. Over and over she moaned, her heels digging into his back as she rolled her hips. When his fingers joined the fray, thrusting, and plunging into her clasping channel as he rapidly tongued her swollen clit, Piper wailed.
Theo thrust his fingers and bit down on her abused nub. A shower of sparks erupted as she came.
“Sir, oh god!” she cried, her body vibrating and rocking as waves of ecstasy barreled through her. The tidal wave swamped her, infusing her body with bursts of pleasure as she shook.
Theo didn’t stop until the last ripple of her body clenched around his thrusting fingers. It was only then that he withdrew his mouth and fingers, then slid her dress back into place. She limply lay against the table, stunned, while claps and hoots from the other guests erupted around them.
Piper couldn’t believe it. She’d performed a scene in public. Maybe she wasn’t as broken as she’d believed. A smiled bloomed on her face as Theo helped her sit up and removed her blindfold. His hand cupped her chin and he tenderly brushed his lips against hers, her flavor coating his lips. There was something so intimate and stirring about tasting herself on his lips.
“You did well,” he said, pride swimming in his cinnamon depths.
“What, no ‘I told you so’s?” she asked as he helped her off the table and back into her chair. Beth approached the table and wiped the ebony surface down with a wet cloth, which carried the distinct tang of bleach. Once the table was clean, Beth delivered their wine, placing a wine bucket and two glasses on the table. She uncorked the bottle and poured a glass for each of them, handing one to Theo first for approval. The aroma from the freshly baked, warm bread wafted over Piper and made her stomach growl as a steaming basket was placed on the table followed by small appetizer plates, silverware, and fresh butter.
Theo served her a piece of bread first before serving himself and said, “No. Because that would imply that I didn’t believe you could do it, and I did. It’s a step, but one in the right direction.”
Piper digested his words, applying butter on her warm slice of bread, and replied, “It doesn’t mean I’m ready to do a full scene in the club, though.”
&nb
sp; “I understand that. Tonight, we pushed your boundaries and you met them head on like a champ, which is a good thing. Perhaps you need a few more small, mini-scenes like this one to help you overcome your fears and waylay any chance of a panic attack happening. Then again, maybe not—there’s always a chance that this method won’t work in a vibrant club setting, but I think it’s worth a try. Don’t you?”
For the first time in an inordinately long time, Piper felt hope, hope for a future that might no longer stretch out before her as an unending sea of loneliness. Maybe, just maybe, she could have a relationship with a Dom, perform scenes in clubs, and not freak out. Maybe she could submit more of herself and perhaps even find a Dom who would want to keep her. Maybe she might even find one who would love her and would want a life with her. Did she think risking a potential attack was worth it? Unequivocally, yes. “I do. I won’t lie though, it scares me. As you witnessed this morning, when I have an attack, my therapist has said it’s like what soldiers experience with a PTSD episode, where I’m not even present but reliving the horror of that night.”
Theo studied her, absorbing her words as Beth delivered their meal. “Well, that’s why we do this in baby steps. I will be with you every step of the way. Remember, Rome wasn’t built in a day, and from what you’ve indicated, the attack was severe. Give yourself permission to take your recovery slowly, to work on it in stages. Why does it have to be a race to the finish line? Who are you trying to outrun, yourself? That night? What if, by attempting to blast through it as fast as possible, you’ve missed a crucial step that would help eradicate a subtle cause behind the attacks entirely? You’ll never know unless you try. In fact, I think we should repeat this exercise, here at the restaurant in the morning, and perhaps again tomorrow evening. We can do it as often as needed until you’re comfortable with it, and then we can take it to the next level and progress. I will help you as much as I can while I’m here on the island, and we’ll take it slow.”
“Sounds like a good plan. How did you get so wise?” she said, joy spreading in her being. He truly wanted to help her—not to add a notch in his belt like a conquering hero, but for her benefit.
Theo studied her as he took a bite of his dinner and then said, “I think it comes with being a parent and watching your child struggle. Jacob’s fine, but there was a time in primary school where he wanted to be as fast as everyone else on the football field—or soccer, as you Americans call it—and had to learn to pace himself. He went through a significant amount of trial and error before he figured out how to make himself better.”
She could see how much he loved his son. It was right out in the open as he contemplated his wine glass before lifting it to his lips. Piper would bet it had been Theo out on the field with his son, day after day, helping Jacob overcome a perceived deficiency and become a better player. Theo wasn’t at all like she’d initially assumed him to be. He was so much more. And she wanted to know him, whatever part of himself he was willing to share with her.
“Tell me about him. Your son. What’s he like? How old is he? Why did you and his mom get divorced?” she asked, getting a bit flustered at the last bit. She was surprised by the pang of jealousy she felt toward his ex-wife.
“Diane and I met while I was in law school. We fell for each other rather quickly. I did love her and she me, although even at the beginning of our relationship, deep down I knew I needed more physically, that I had what I thought were eccentric tastes. I hadn’t embraced my dominant nature at that point, and didn’t even know what to call it then. I was what you might call an uptight Englishman,” he teased her.
She laughed and lifted her wineglass, toasting him. “You said it, not me, Sir.”
He chuckled and continued, “Right you are. Anyway, I repressed my nature because I thought I had to. We were happy, and married when I was twenty-eight. Jacob came along a year later. He’s a lot like his mum.”
“I’m sure there’s some of you in him, too.”
Theo nodded, then twined his hand with hers, stroking his thumb over her wrist, showing her how pleased he was by her words and said, “There is, but anyway… I was working at my first firm as a junior solicitor when a case came across my desk. It was a simple estate planning type of will, very boring stuff, but the client requested that I meet with him at his estate. And that was when I was introduced to the lifestyle. The older gent was a Master wanting to ensure his slave was cared for in the event of his demise. He’d just learned that he had Parkinson’s disease and knew it would lead to his eventual death. As he showed me around the estate, his private dungeon was part of the tour. Seeing his dungeon ignited what I’d tried to suppress for too many years to count. After that, I met with my client on a few more occasions, begging him for instruction, which he so kindly gave. He was the one who introduced me to Declan and Jared. Seems like a lifetime ago. From there, I learned everything I could about the lifestyle. Then, one night, I brought what I had learned to my marriage bed. I needed it so much I couldn’t see anything else, and I wanted Diane to be a part of this whole new world that had finally opened up for me.”
His fingers clenched hers as he stopped.
“But?” Piper prodded him, needing to hear the rest of his story.
“Diane is a lovely woman, steadfast, true, but she’s about as vanilla as one could be when it comes to bedroom activities. When I broached the subject of trying to include some of the things I had learned, she flatly refused. Now, admittedly, I felt like a sod for even broaching the topic. But after that night, our marriage soured. Mainly it was my fault because I became resentful that she denied me what I needed. In the end, the lure of my needs was too potent. I think it was because they’d been suppressed for so long. It doesn’t excuse my actions in any way, but after that I began to seek what I needed physically from a woman outside of my marriage. I felt like a heel, going to clubs and getting my rocks off with submissives who weren’t my wife, but I also felt whole for the first time in my life. It was intoxicating to finally embrace my dominant nature. As I did so, my marriage crumbled around me.
“Eventually, it was Diane who asked me for a divorce. She allowed me to share full custody of our son with the stipulation that I don’t display my sexual preferences in his vicinity until he is eighteen. So, the bulk of my interactions with submissives has been at clubs, parties and the like over the last decade.”
Piper was appalled for Theo. How could his ex-wife make him agree to a stipulation like that? She said, “I can’t believe she would ask you that. I’m not saying a child needs to—or in fact wants to—know how their parents get their rocks off, but she’s made you hide who you are all this time?”
Theo shrugged and said, “It’s not so bad. I do have a dungeon in my home, an old wine cellar I converted that my son knows nothing about. He doesn’t know the room even exists. I made sure it was a hidden room. But due to the stipulation, I’ve been careful and rather circumspect in who I will even bring into my home. It’s not worth losing my boy over.”
The fact that he would put his son above his own happiness and satisfaction astonished Piper. Theo was a deep in the bones good man. Upon first meeting him she had believed he was just a stuffy Brit with Alpha Dom tendencies. But he wasn’t stuffy at all. He played his cards close to his chest but then again, so did she. Theo reminded her of a blue flame. His fires burned hotter and deeper than most flames. And she didn’t care about his infidelity. It was obvious that he had unintentionally been atoning for his actions by agreeing to his ex-wife’s stipulation and then following it to the letter.
“How old is he now?” she asked, picturing a boy who was Theo’s spitting image.
“Fifteen, going on twenty-five. It’s goes so much faster than you might think. One day, their chubby little hands are wrapped around your fingers as they are trying to walk for the first time, and the next they are attending secondary school, captain of the rugby team, and looking at potential universities.”
“Do you see him often?”
>
Theo nodded and said, “As often as I can. My home is near him and his mum. He tends to stay with me on the weekends, even the ones that aren’t part of the divorce decree. That’s one thing Diane has never denied me, or fought me over: access to our son.”
It explained so much about Theo. What with the stipulation, and his son living in his home on the weekends, when most clubs were in full swing, it was no wonder he wasn’t in a committed relationship. Piper had been right, he was a bit of an island. She said, “It’s nice that you’re so close to him. That you’ve stayed in his life.”
Theo shrugged and replied, “He’s my son. Just because his mum and I didn’t work out, doesn’t mean I wanted him to grow up without me around. Jacob is the best part of my life. Work and all the rest are just fillers.”
“And you mentioned that Diane had remarried. What’s her husband like?” Piper hated that she was so curious about his ex-wife. It was obvious that whatever relationship they had together was over and they’d both moved on.
“Donald’s a fine bloke. He’s been good for Diane and for Jacob, too.”
“But?”
“There’s a pain that comes with watching another man help raise your child. Donald’s not an ogre and has been good for Jacob, but seeing your son admire and look up to another father figure—I’m not going to lie, it’s had its moments. But all in all, I think it is making my son a better young man. He has two examples of what it means to be a man, even if I’m a bit dodgy at times,” Theo joked with a half-grin.
It had hurt him far more than he was letting on. Piper wanted to wrap her arms around him and comfort his hurts, but because of their audience, she squeezed his hand gently instead, and said, “I think he’s lucky to have you. Not all fathers want to stay in their child’s life after a divorce. Mine didn’t. It’s not that he didn’t love us, my siblings and me, he just moved on.”