“That’s not important right now,” John said.
“Don’t you tell me what is or isn’t important,” Riley said. “That was my uncle.”
“He’s right,” Bunny said, tugging at his arm. She met his eyes and then looked meaningfully down at Izzy. “Let’s just focus on keeping who we do have here safe.”
Riley nodded, and Bunny dropped her hand. “I’ll go look for the gun,” she said. “The rest of you can get the flashlights out of the cupboard over there and check for anything else that might be useful.”
Everybody moved in silence to accomplish their chores, Erma and John pulling flashlights, candles, and matches out of the cupboards, and Star sticking as close as a shadow to the boy. Riley stood near the door, keeping a watch out the windows. He held Izzy close to him and felt her body grow heavier as she drifted off to sleep. He was all she had now, he thought, kissing the warm curls on her head and inhaling that sweet dirt smell that only children have. And she was all he had. He wouldn’t lose her, wouldn’t let anyone take her from him. Not ever again.
2
Bunny left the room quickly, trying not to let the others see her face. But as soon as she was around the corner and out of sight, she couldn’t hide it any longer. Her face broke into a wide grin. He was here! Javier Martinez was actually and truly in her house! She knew it was crazy to think about love at a time like this, knew that if the others could see her, they’d count her a loony, but she couldn’t help it. From the kitchen, she could hear the muffled voices, the fear, the arguing, but here, she let the full joy she felt spread across her face as she remembered. The rest of the world melted away, and there was only Javier. Javier Martinez.
She’d “woken up,” which was how she thought of it, when she saw Javier Martinez for the first time. She wasn’t paying attention to the paperboy that first Saturday Javier was on duty. Instead, she was busy cleaning out her closet. What she saw depressed her. Almost everything she owned was a neutral tone. A black, or a brown, or a beige. There was no excitement in her life. She remembered, as a little girl, receiving a red party dress one Christmas and wearing it so often that it had fallen to pieces. When had she stopped wearing colors? When had she decided that she had no right to these things, that she was a woman doomed to shadows and background pieces?
Not even her husband paid attention to her anymore. Bob was always gone, seeming to find more and more reasons to stay at work. When he did come home he barely glanced at her before shoving down whatever meal she’d carefully prepared and then falling into bed. Bunny was lonely. The kids were grown and gone and Bunny didn’t have a lot of friends. Correction. She didn’t have any friends. She’d started watching a lot of television—reality shows, mostly, trying to escape into someone else’s life, to forget, for a while, that hers existed.
She had actually just been fixing herself a cup of coffee with lots of cream to go watch one of these shows and take a break from the closet cleaning when she saw Javier for the first time. He was riding a bike that was much too big for him, the paper-satchel swung nonchalantly over one shoulder, and he did it all with such grace that it took her breath away. But mostly, it was the color that threw her. He was full of so much color.
The bike he rode was a bright red, and its paint caught the sunshine perfectly, lighting it up like fire beneath him. He wore a yellow shirt, a color that none of the local boys with their button-up cowboy shirts or ragtag tees would ever have dared to wear. And his hair. It was beautiful. What other people might have seen as black, Bunny knew was in all actuality a rare and startling midnight blue. He was perfection. She actually had to set her full coffee mug down on the counter when she saw him, because her hands were shaking.
In that moment he looked up at her and, seeing her watching from the widow, waved. With a trembling hand, she waved back. And that was that for Bunny. She was in love.
That very night, she got online and used the birthday money she’d received from her mother, money she usually put into her and Bob’s retirement fund, on a bright blue dress she found online. She bought more and more rainbow-colored outfits, got her hair colored a brighter hue, and began to smile more. She only waited a week to tell Bob that she was leaving him.
So when he disappeared a few days later, she didn’t worry about it. She assumed he’d simply left to shack up with one of his buddies from the plant. What she did do was focus all her energy on Javier Martinez. She’d be damned if she’d found the color in her life only to watch it seep out again.
Bunny drove by Javier’s house at least once a day after she found out where he lived. Sometimes he’d be in the yard talking to his landlord, or sometimes he’d be inside. Once, she saw him outside alone, and she’d thought he looked up at her, so she had to put her foot on the gas fast before he could see her.
She watched every show on television that she could think of about how to look younger. She even bought a bikini waxing kit and tried to take all the hair off herself, from her happy trail on down, but it had only left a big, red rash. Still, she had to try. It was what all today’s women were doing, that’s what the shows said.
Javier was sixteen. Bunny knew this. Intellectually, she knew this. But it never entered her mind that liking him might be wrong. If she were a man and he a little girl, yes, of course. But she’d been watching a lot of television, and everybody today knew that having sex with an older woman was like a rite of passage for a teenage boy. Older women now were considered a catch. Cougars, they called them. She watched a show about cougars in her free time, and she imagined herself one of them. She imagined Javier riding by her house, bringing her the paper, she’d ask him in…
They were just dreams. Probably. But maybe not. After the Festival she was planning to finally ask him to come in, finally confront him. She’d decided. She’d make her feelings known to Javier. Whatever else happened, he had let her see the colors again, he’d brought her back to life.
But now…Now he was here. In her very own kitchen, he was here, and maybe the world was ending, but finally Javier was in her house. She would tell him. Sometime, during all of this mess, she would find a quiet moment and tell him.
Bunny returned to the kitchen with Bob’s gun. Javier stood by the counter, watching her, and Bunny felt the smile coming on again. Quickly, she opened the refrigerator door and hid her head inside. From the back, she gathered bottles of water into her arms, and pulled them forward. As she shut the door and turned around, she felt the bottles slipping, and just as she was about to drop them, a hand reached out to grab one of the six-packs from her.
“Let me,” Javier said, taking another batch of bottles from her, and as he did, his skin, warm and alive, touched hers. Bunny shivered, and now she couldn’t stop the smile from spreading across her face. And miracle of miracles, Javier smiled back. Outside, a scream sounded, distant but strong. Bunny’s smile widened. She thought she’d never felt so happy in her life.
Chapter 20
1
They huddled in Bunny’s basement, the safest place they could think of. With the addition of Star and Javier, their group numbered eight. It was dark down there, and Pill wouldn’t let them turn on any lights. Instead, he held a flashlight over the pages of the book in his lap. Around him, the group sat in silence.
He began to read, the flashlight in his hand making a circle on the words upon the page and then bouncing back from them to light his face. He looked like a ghost already, Riley thought. If this was their only hope for salvation, they were in a world of hurt.
But despite his appearance, the old man’s voice came out loud and strong, and the group around him remained silent, bowing their heads to listen. As the screams outside grew louder, closer, Pill raised his voice to match and then overpower them.
“ ‘I’m writing this to tell you about the Feeders. But I don’t want to start there. I want to start somewhere nice. Before that happened. I want to start with Jimmy…. ’ ”
2
It wasn’t until Pill c
ame to the end of his wife’s journal that Riley really started listening. He didn’t give a shit about the girl’s sad story or the boy she’d loved. But after Pill read through all that bullshit, he’d gotten to the only part that really mattered. He’d read off a checklist that Jessi had provided of ways to spot a Feeder. Immediately, Riley snapped to attention, beginning to run through the list in his mind, committing it to memory.
First, Jessi wrote that a person had to consume the flesh of somebody already infected, but that didn’t help him much. Anybody could eat something one of the fuckers had hidden a hair in, or a fingernail, or even spit in. What else? She’d also said that the creatures would be both marked in some unusual manner and bleed black when you cut them. The bleeding didn’t help, but the mark might. Finally, the journal suggested that the Feeders were scared of dogs. That dogs were pure of spirit or some shit like that. He didn’t know and didn’t really care what the reasoning was behind any of it, but at least it was information he could use. Riley wasn’t going to take any chances. He would, just as Jessi Verrity had suggested, kill each and every one of them.
So who in the room fit? Who might be a Feeder, might be a danger to Izzy?
“Are they like zombies, then, or some shit?” asked Javier, as Pill shut the journal. Javier had his own flashlight on now, but it was pointed out toward the group, leaving him in shadows.
“Not that I know anything about zombies, son, but no. I would say not. Zombies can’t think, isn’t that how it is?”
“Yes.”
“Feeders can. They can do anything humans can. They are humans. They just don’t got a soul.”
Riley didn’t waste any time not believing what Pill had to say. It wasn’t his way. He needed to trust his gut. He’d learned that the hard way on the job, and he meant to make use of the lesson to save himself and his daughter.
A marking. Who had a marking? Who was afraid of dogs, or had been acting strangely?
Izzy squirmed on his lap, her tiny thumb in her mouth. She was asleep.
“We’ve got to get help!” Aunt Bunny stood up from where she’d been seated on the couch and primly smoothed her dress. Same old Bunny, worried about how she looked even in a crisis…He stopped.
No, in fact it was not the same old Bunny. She’d always been neat—tidy, even—but she’d still never looked very good. She just hadn’t had the sense of style, the panache to pull it off. But now…He watched her as she smoothed down her hair and noticed the bright red lipstick she was wearing. His aunt had never worn lipstick. Not as long as he’d known her, she hadn’t.
“Look, I know you said communication is down,” said Bunny—she spoke with authority, her voice betraying no emotion whatsoever—“but that doesn’t mean there aren’t other ways to get help.”
“You don’t understand,” said Erma. “If what Pill says is true, and I think it is—” Erma stopped and turned around and met Riley’s eyes. “Do you think it’s true? Do the rest of you?”
“It’d be fucking hard not to,” said Javier. He sat with his back against the wall and the girl, Star, crouched beside him. She watched him like he was the only person in the room.
“I agree with the boy,” said Bunny, turning toward him and trying to catch his eye. Javier ignored her.
“I believe it’s true,” said John, “but I don’t understand why we can’t call for help. There’s got to be some way. Pill, I know your CB is too far away, but there must be another one in town.”
“Even if we reached someone, they wouldn’t believe us,” said Erma. “Am I right, Pill?”
The old man nodded. “Not a chance.”
“Then we’ll make something up!” said John. “Tell them there’s a gunman, or…a tornado, for God’s sake. A terrorist. Christ, who cares? We just need to get someone here!”
“I agree,” said Bunny. “That makes perfect sense.”
Where, Riley wondered, was his uncle?
“We can’t do that!” said Erma. “Aren’t you listening? Just imagine they did come. Imagine Billings, or the FBI, sent people in here. Imagine, even, that they got here before we’re dead, which I think is pretty fucking unlikely—what would happen?”
“They’d be eaten,” Star said. She leaned against Javier in the shadows and spoke with her eyes closed.
“Worse,” said Pill. “They’d be forced to eat.”
“Those people, the law officers or whoever, have guns!” said John. “They can die, can’t they, the Feeders?”
“They can die all right,” said Pill. “But if they were allowed to infect even one person, one single person from the outside, then imagine what would happen.”
“Who’s to say they haven’t already?” said John.
Riley could see that John’s resolve was weakening. A coward, that man. Not him, though. He was going to do whatever it took.
“There’s no one to say,” said Pill. “We can only pray. Hope it’s like before when they try to turn the entire town first and then move on.”
“Who’s to say there isn’t someone in here who’s one of them?” asked Riley.
“Patrick!” said Bunny. “How can you even suggest that?”
“Where’s Uncle Bob, Aunt Bunny?”
“Excuse me?”
“I said, where’s Uncle Bob?”
“He…He’s not here, Patrick. Why are you asking me that?”
On the opposite side of the room from his aunt, Riley saw Erma and John’s dog, crouched beside Pill and seemingly asleep. Riley whistled, and the dog’s head sprung up.
“What are you doing?” Bunny asked. Her face wrinkled in dismay. “Patrick, stop that!”
Riley whistled again, and the dog came toward him, lunging past Bunny as it did so. The woman pulled into herself and gave a short burst of a scream. The dog stopped, confused, and then turned tail, heading back to its masters. Riley could feel the tension in the room building, the faces around the circle tightening. Gently, he deposited his sleeping daughter onto the floor beside him and stood, walking across the room to Bunny.
“Riley,” Erma said, looking at him with the beginnings of understanding in her eyes. “Riley, no. Don’t.” She started toward him, but John came up behind her. He wrapped his arms tightly around his wife, keeping her from moving.
Well, maybe he wasn’t as stupid as he looked.
“You think she’s one of them?” Javier asked, keeping his voice low. It didn’t matter, though. In this small of a room, sound carried, and Riley heard his aunt gasp.
“Patrick, no!” she screamed. “How can you even think that?”
“I don’t know,” Riley said, turning to Javier, not bothering to keep his voice down any longer. “Maybe so, maybe not. But I think we should check. Use the information from Pill’s old lady’s story. See if Aunt Bunny has a mark, that sort of thing.”
Javier nodded. “I’ll hold her,” he said. He stepped ahead of Riley and grabbed Bunny. The old woman sank against him, as if at his touch all the strength had been sucked out of her. Javier patted her up and down, first the back and then the front.
“This is ridiculous!” Erma called, pushing against her husband. “Riley! Stop it!”
In the corner, Pill sat with the flashlight on his lap, watching.
“I don’t feel anything,” Javier said, finishing patting up the front of the woman.
“Lift her shirt,” Riley commanded, swinging his flashlight on the pair.
Javier did as he was commanded, and Riley felt a pang of guilt as he saw the terror in his aunt’s eyes. She flinched as the flashlight hit them and Riley lowered it some.
“Riley,” she looked at him, not yelling. “Please stop. I know what you think, but—”
“There!” Javier pointed at Bunny’s exposed belly with his own flashlight. A giant red rash ran from Bunny’s belly button down to where the edge of her panty hose peeked above her skirt.
“It’s not what you think,” Bunny whispered again.
His poor aunt. Riley pulled the gun from
out of his sock and raised it. He’d always loved her, almost like a mother he’d loved her. Behind him, he felt Izzy’s presence. She’d fallen asleep curled beside him during the story, but she’d been so close to the woman. So close. Anything could have happened. He couldn’t take that chance again.
“Shoot her,” Javier said, pinning the woman’s arms behind her back. “Shoot the fucking bitch!”
“Shoot her.” Star’s whisper came from the corner.
“Riley, no!” Erma yelled, struggling against her husband’s hold. Across the room, Pill, too, was standing, the book forgotten as it fell from his lap. Maxie began to bark, her ears pinned back to her head as she ran in circles. Finally, Erma broke free, coming toward them.
Too late, though. He’d do what it took. Whatever it took to keep his daughter safe. There were only two bullets left in his gun. Riley planned on only having to use one.
If he could have known Bunny’s thoughts right then he would have heard the whir of her confusion, known the fear and pleasure and the hate as the boy whom she’d wanted and watched for such a long time finally touched her, touched her and let his sweet hands trail over her old skin, skin that she’d worked so hard to keep free from redness where it would show by keeping it away from that stupid dog, the skin on her stomach one that she had never thought would be exposed this early, this openly to the boy she’d craved and now, here, her follies were revealed her stupid thought of baring herself of the sad gray hairs below her waistband, and now he could see it, see it all, see her for the dumb old woman she really was, and him so bright and so beautiful, and the heat from his hands was just as she’d expected only full of hate and not that other thing, that unnamable heat that burns out in passion, and she could not stand it, could not stand it, and his eyes were so full of disgust…
But Riley knew none of this.
And so he steadied the gun and squeezed, forcing the trigger to release its deadly accurate bullet. As he did so, Riley caught the face of his daughter from the corner of his eye, lit by the candle. She was no longer asleep. She was watching him. And she was smiling.
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