“I don’t get it, Rei. I’ve seen you help people before. You helped the fencing team win nationals. You helped Monique work through her anger. You even gave me that heads-up before we got to Elliot—but sympathy? I’m not sure I’ve ever seen you display it. Do you have difficulty feeling pity?”
Rei stiffened. “I have read books. I have observed how beaters interact. I have watched how they comfort one another. How they mourn. I understand the concept.”
“But the actual feeling? Have you ever felt it?”
Rei shifted the cooler of human blood from one shoulder to the other. “I have felt the loss of those I know. I have felt their absence when they are gone. I care about my family. They are a part of me. We have relationships born of blood. I care for my acquaintances. Their existence enriches my life, and interacting with them gives me great pleasure. But, Dieter, I have never felt the need to wallow in another’s grief. What value could one find in that?” She smirked. “Besides, I suffer enough grief tending to your whims.”
I was taken aback. Rei thought feeling bad was voluntary?
“I don’t get it. How can that be? How can you not care?”
“How can I not care?” Rei shook her head and chuckled. “Dieter, in the past minute—for reasons as varied as heart attacks and Were-maulings—one hundred humans have died across the globe. During the past day, 140,000 people have perished. So far this year, well over 50 million men and women have ceased to exist. These are statistical facts. They cannot be contested. So, my most sensitive companion, I ask you this: Have you mourned them? Has their collective agony driven you even once to tears?”
I bit my lip. “No. But I still feel bad they died.”
Rei cocked her head. “Do you truly feel bad for them—or are you merely parroting a concept? I do not mean to demean you, Dieter, but perhaps you are simply quicker at accepting others as your own.”
Rei had me totally flummoxed. I stood there looking stupid. What was I supposed to say to that?
A car whizzed by full of out-of-town revelers.
A dog started barking behind the cinderblock wall.
I wasn’t good at this. I never understood those books on philosophy.
“So why bother?” I asked. “If you can compartmentalize your feelings so well, why bother reaching out to anyone?”
Rei shrugged. She placed her hand against the cold cement and the angry dog settled. “Because I can?” She turned her face into the wind blowing in from the West. When she spoke again, her voice was small. “Dieter, must we be who we were born to be?” Her dark hair cast about behind her, and the faint scent of lavender wafted past me. I leaned against the wall and stared. Why would something so perfect want to change?
“Of course not, but since we’ve been partnered…Rei, I’ve wanted to see things break. I’ve wanted to be the one doing the breaking. How can you work against that?”
Rei leaned back against the wall. Her eyes had softened. “You cannot. You can only try and project those desires against something that deserves them.”
“And if you can’t find a worthy target?”
“Then you avoid anything you might hurt.”
“That’s why you tried to break the link. You believe you’ll harm anyone who gets too close to you.”
“I do not believe, Dieter. I know.”
And so did I. That vision from the train…
I looked at the tower looming above us. There was less than a week left.
“Are you talking about Nana?” I asked in tense whisper.
Rei’s head snapped towards me. “What did you just say?”
“I asked you about Nana. Is that who you are talking about?”
“Don’t say that name.” She took a step back. Her voice had become ragged. Her posture, sunken. “Where did you hear that—”
“When did she—” I Saw the blow before it came. It was half-assed and underpowered. I ducked away easily and skipped out of her reach. Rei was staring off into the distance, her eyes transfixed. I prepared a transmutation while she was distracted. I had no intention of hitting Rei, but pushing this topic was bound to get me bruised.
“How old were you?” I asked.
“Shut up,” she hissed.
“No. Tell me who—”
“Shut up, shut up, shut up!” she screamed. I offered her my hand, but she lashed out at me instead. That was fine. I just needed to know head or belly. My Sight flared, signaling it was headed for my gut.
The punch was slow and sloppy. I could see the boiling panic in her eyes. I waited for it, caught the blow with my palm, and used the prepped transmutation Sheila had taught me to redirect the energy into a blast of air. Rei was extremely strong, but she was also extremely light. Her slight frame lurched backwards in the gale, and she tumbled head-over-heels. Her hair a tangled mess, she looked up at me from the ground.
“How old were you?” I asked again.
I shiver shook through her. “Eight. I was eight.”
Satisfied she wasn’t going to maul me, I grabbed Rei’s shoulder and pulled her up. Considering she could probably reach in and tear my heart out, it was amazing how light she was. I cleared the black mop from her face and gestured to the East. “Sun’s coming up soon. Let’s keep walking.”
“You’re the worst minion imaginable,” she grumbled.
“I’m not your minion. I’m your friend.” I hugged her. “Now don’t change the subject. How did it happen?”
“Why do you care?” She broke out of my grasp and picked up her cooler.
“Because it bothers you.”
“What kind of reason is that?”
I crossed my arms.
When she saw I wasn’t budging, Rei sighed. “Nana was my caretaker. She was a beater—although at the time, I didn’t know what that meant—and she was the youngest person I knew. She was the only one who would ever play with me…or touch me.”
“What about your parents?” I was surprised. Rei seemed to care for them deeply.
“Dieter, my kind are not good at affection. Nana was different. She was so warm and kind. She would listen when I talked. She would tell me stories. She could even make me laugh. The others…I never liked it when they laughed. But Nana’s laugh? I loved it. There was no sadness in it. No spite. No bitterness. Even though she was being held against her will, even though she knew what I was, Nana trusted me.” Rei’s jaw tensed. In a rough motion, she ran her fingers across her fangs and splattered her own blood across the ground. “Even though she knew these were growing in—she still trusted me.”
I reached out to her, but she shook her head and pulled away.
“Dieter, when we are young, things are different. We don’t have the same urges.”
“The bloodlust develops with age?”
“Indeed. That is why we use beaters to care for our young.”
“You mean…” I swallowed. “Stars above, Rei.”
“One day, as Nana and I were playing tag, I experienced a desire I had never felt before. I acted on it.”
I felt a surge of pity, disgust, and wrath. How could any culture do that to their children? Rei’s first kill had been her best friend…
“Rei, you were too young to understand the consequences.”
“I understood that it would hurt. I understood…but I still found it appealing.”
“But, Rei—”
“Dieter, why can’t you understand this? I wanted to cause her pain.”
I shook my head. “We’ve all wanted to cause one another pain—especially those we care about the most. I meant the consequences. You didn’t grasp the consequences.”
“That is true…” Rei frowned. “Dieter, how could you possibly know that?”
“Because I watched the aftermath.” I looked down at the cracked cement. It was my turn to feel guilty. Rei was silent for a long time. I felt like my heart was going to beat out of my chest.
“How?” she finally asked. “You were not present. I do not understand this.”
She thought for a moment. “You mean that strange sensation? I thought you had glimpsed my aura. I thought you were merely frightened. A Nostophoros’ aura can be…difficult.”
“Na, I’d already seen your aura. I was straining my Sight to feel out your intentions. Somehow, I tripped and fell inside.” I looked up into Rei’s moist eyes. “I watched Nana die, Rei. I watched you try and save her. Then someone came in. You got angry, and the vision sorta popped. It was the shock of returning that knocked my socks off. It was like an ice bomb went off in my brain.” I scratched my stubble. I’d never seen a spell like that before. “You must have had a whiteout,” I offered. “Oh, and speaking of auras, thanks for wrapping yours around me today. That was a really cool spell. Did Dante teach you that? Was it some sort of shroud?”
Rei cocked her head. “What are you talking about? I cannot conduit mana.”
“Of course you can. You go to Elliot. You’re a mage.”
Rei rolled her eyes. “Like any Nostophoros, I can use the lives of others to enhance my abilities, fortify my body, and heal my injuries—but I continue to fail at even the most basic spells.”
“Huh?” I managed. I just presumed Rei liked to practice by herself. She wasn’t much of a team player.
“Each Nostophoros is born with a unique set of talents. Some can manipulate an element, some can erase their presence from view, but one with the capacity to become a magus is extraordinarily rare. Albright claims that I have that potential. However, considering my position…Some nights I wonder if he is simply trying to flatter my father by allowing me to attend.”
“That’s quite emo, Rei. Maybe you should start a moan rock band. Now explain why all the vamps failed to notice me until I let go of your hand.”
“Because…” Rei placed her hands on her hips and frowned. “Fascinating…I do not know the answer to that question. Magi are quite noticeable to my kind.”
“It was because you were moving mana around with your Ki. I Saw you do it.”
“You mean my aura…you observed it?”
“Of course.” I stuck my thumbs in my belt loops and puffed out my chest “I’m an auraceptor.”
“What does it look like? Is it terrifying?”
“Wait, you can’t see auras? I thought all Nostophoros could.”
Rei laughed. “What books have you been reading? A Nostophoros’ auraception is a form of smell, not sight. But I am curious, Dieter, what do they look like?“
“They look like fuzzy clouds, and they’re always centered around the chest.”
“They issue from the Ki, yes?”
“Right. And I find an aura is easier to sense if the person is experiencing strong emotions. If they are directed at me, I can actually feel the aura’s touch.”
Rei nodded. “The same is true for me.”
“The first time I felt yours was when I was stretching outside of the bus. You were hungry, right?”
Rei blushed. “I was groggy. I had a case of the…what do you call them?”
“The munchies?”
“Ah, yes. Those things. I had those things.”
I shivered. “Anyway, most auras are amorphous blobs, but some have unique shapes. Cumo’s looks like a giant cotton ball.”
Rei smiled. “He smells like vanilla and cinnamon.”
“And all auras have colors. It’s kinda weird, but if you stare at one for a while, you just know what the emotion is.”
“It is the same with their scent. Sour for jealousy. You?”
“Lima-bean green.”
“So that old adage is true.” Rei giggled and took my hand. “Sulfur for deceit.”
“Deceit? A gross mustard-yellow, but it’s hard to Sight unless they’re straight-up lying.”
“Indeed. And my aura? You said it had a shape?”
“Yea, it’s like this oversized cloak. The ends are shredded, and it looks like it’s been outside for too long.”
“An old haggard cloak?” Rei kicked at the cement in disappointment. “Is that supposed to be a complement? That doesn’t sound terrifying at all.”
Oh, so she wanted it to be terrifying.
Typical.
“It’s plenty creepy.”
Rei raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”
“Most auras are just fuzzy circles, but when we were holding hands, yours wrapped around me like a warm blanket. I’ve never seen another aura do that.”
Rei was busy strumming her chin when she stiffened. “Daybreak,” she grumbled. She flipped up the collar of her coat. “And I have forgotten your sunglasses.”
I watched the sun lumber over the valley’s red crust.
Rei stretched her arms and yawned. “Minion, if we survive the next week, I should like to conduct more handholding experiments. Perhaps I can convince my most flexible aura to strangle you to death.”
I grinned. “Sure thing, kumpadre. But that’s a big if.”
Chapter 18
ONE MORE MOUNTAIN
“Yep, we’re as ready as we’re gonna be…You too, Monique. Talk to you later.” Dante hung up the phone. “They’re set up two blocks away from the Over the Top. Maria has line-of-site on the south side of the building. Monique, Roster, Sheila, and Ichijo are waiting on our signal. We have until midnight to locate some of this artificial conduit material and either shut down Carrera’s spell or get the heck off the tower. Sadie’s gonna insert separately. If she doesn’t hear otherwise, she’s gonna bring the whole place down.”
“And the tower? She’ll make it fall away from the Strip, right?”
Dante nodded.
“Awen’s Ghost,” Jules said, her teacup shaking. “I cannot believe we’re doin’ this.”
Exhausted from pacing back and forth, I plunked down in the chair next to her and put my hand on her shoulder. I didn’t want to go up on the tower either—I hated heights.
“Our best shot is to find this artificial conduit material early on,” Dante said. “An ICE team is on standby. If we can steal some of the ACT stuff fast enough, we can show it to the ICE and they’ll be able to intervene before midnight—that is, if this stuff is what Albright thinks it is.”
“And what about Albright?” I asked. “Isn’t it about time he showed up?”
Dante shook his head. “He was given a direct order not to intervene. Forces are on the move, Dieter. The Department wants every last man defending the Salt Lake’s leynode. They think Talmax is massing for a strike.”
I groaned. “In the history of war, how many times has sit-back-and-wait worked?” I shook my head in frustration.
“Bud, I hear ya, but—wow.”
I turned my head and gaped. Rei was clonking out of the bathroom in towering heels. Her hair was one perfect glossy sheet, and she was wearing a fresh coat of lipstick in a dark cherry hue. The low-cut chiffon dress gave little hints with every motion—but hid just enough to be totally unfair.
Dante shook his head. “If looks could kill…”
“Then I wouldn’t need fangs. Speaking of which, are they obvious?” Rei gave us the half-smile she’d been practicing.
Jules put her glasses back on. “Not at a glance. They’re teeny pokies anyway. No one will notice unless they’re lookin’ for them.”
“Excellent,” Rei said. “Then, Druid, gentlemen, I am off.”
“Hold it, Queen of Darkness.”
Jules, Dante and I looked at each other. “Break a neck!”
“Naturally,” Rei replied.
I couldn’t help ogling her long bare calves as they strutted out the door. I had no idea how girls managed to walk in high heels, but I sure could understand why. I checked my watch. Still fifteen minutes before we shipped out.
“There’s one thing still bothering me,” I said.
“I know,” Jules said. “That poor girl. What she told ya before she…” Frowning, Jules checked to make sure Rei was out of earshot. “Do ya see now, Dieter? You can’t be a denyin’ it anymo
re. Rei can be nice and all, but drainers are butchers, plain and simple.”
I crossed my arms. “I’m not arguing otherwise. But the Nostophoros’ human rights record isn’t this week’s big concern—that would be the homicidal mages trying to sacrifice a few hundred thousand people.” I didn’t care to rehash the same argument we’d been having for months. I made it known with an obstinate look.
“So why on earth do ya think they’re holdin’ those initiates?”
“You got me,” Dante said. “It’s not like they’re gonna be short of bodies. The Over the Top announced they’re handing out free drinks for the grand reopening. There are gonna be tons of people cued up for booze. Why they would need six initiates on top of that is beyond me.”
Jules rubbed her temples. “I went over the literature—again. Mages differ from other humans in three big ways: we have the ability ta sense and conduit mana, we have larger mana reserves, and we live longer than the average man. Why we can conduit mana has somethin’ ta do with the nature of our Kis. Our Ki are also bigger than yer average human’s. That explains why we attract more mana. Why we live longer isn’t so clear. My best guess is that it has somethin’ ta do with conduitin’ lots of mana. After all, the most powerful mages seem ta live the longest, and mages who abandon their craft seem to age like regular humans. But take those differences away, and we’re basically the same as your average Joe Soap. It’s not like we’re chock full a’ power crystals. I don’t see how capturin’ a bunch of grubs could help Carrera with his cast. Grand spells always come down to the fine control of massive amounts of power. Grubs are awful at that.”
“Bud, it’s like you were saying: We’re stuck on the why. There are hundreds of different magic styles and zillions of different spells. Without knowing exactly why Carrera is massing power, we can’t narrow down the possibilities.”
Carrera’s motive…My posture sagged. Despite skimming every history book in the local library, I still had no idea who “Kit” was or what Las Vegas had to do with the Mexican-American War. “All we know is that Carrera’s got a bone to pick with the US Government. But the men he fought against are dead and gone. Everyone that was involved in the Mexican-American War is dust, and Carrera sure as hell can’t recapture New Spain. Conquering territory is a direct breach of the Tenets. DOMAs can’t intervene in the affairs of foreign Imperiti governments. Heck, just kicking the DEA’s teeth in has already caught the ICE’s attention. If they tried annexing territory, it’d be the end for them.”
Zero Sum Advanced Review Copy Page 31