“So just like that, it’s settled?” Maryanne asked. She was battling what her emotions were telling her and what common sense was dictating, and the expression on her face was both anguished and conflicted.
“Mom,” Sam said, reaching out to lay a hand atop her mother’s, “it’ll be okay, you’ll see.”
“Well, that’s not true, because nothing is okay anymore,” Maryanne said, staring at Amanda. “But deep down, I think that I know you’re right, Jason. As parents, it is our responsibility to prepare her for the world. I just had always thought that would be about telling her the dangers of going off to college, drinking and driving, and sexually transmitted diseases. It’s just all so much worse now.” She hung her head, but the others could hear that she was crying.
“There is another pressing matter that requires our attention,” Amanda said, not wanting to be insensitive to the needs of her friend but knowing that Maryanne would prefer to have the others distracted while she had her moment to compose herself. “The truck needs to be serviced. There’s a leak in the radiator, that’s why it overheated yesterday. I hope that no damage was done to the engine. Roy, if you could look it over and repair it if you can, that would be great.”
“No problem,” Roy said, giving a nod.
“Does anyone have any objections if we reconvene tomorrow morning after we’ve given this some thought? Maybe among all of us, we can find some viable solutions for our future,” Amanda said, finishing.
Chapter 18
“Amanda?” Sam asked in a whisper, having walked up behind her after their meeting.
“Yep,” she said. “Why are you whispering?”
“Can we go someplace more private to talk?” the girl asked, looking around her. “This place is such a fishbowl, with everybody knowing everybody’s business and all.”
“Sure, Sam, where’s your sister?” she asked the girl. “I think your mother has a point in having you help her out more around camp.”
“She’s over there,” Sam said pointing, “playing dress-up with Boo. I think that’s her new best friend.”
“I think you’re right. And I see that Red’s yours,” Amanda said, looking down to Red, who was right by Sam’s leg.
Sam reached a hand down to scratch the big dog behind the ears.
“He likes it when I do that,” Sam said, giving a grin.
“Follow me,” she said and began heading down the hill and away from camp. But instead of going down past the turnoff for The Pit and on to the flat section that had become their parking lot, she veered right off of the trail and continued down a barely discernable path that ran along the edge of the hill and stopped at a small outcropping of boulders.
“You come here a lot,” Sam said, and it wasn’t a question.
“How do you know?”
“Like I said, we live in a fishbowl.”
“It’s safer when we stick together, you know, the whole safety in numbers thing, and all,” Amanda said by way of explanation.
“Hey, thanks for sticking up for me in the meeting, that was like tres cool,” Sam said.
“It wasn’t personal, Sam. I was actually being practical,” she answered. “Is this the top secret subject that you wanted to talk about?”
“No, actually, I have some questions, and I want honest answers, you know, like no crap,” Sam said, kneeling to sit down beside Amanda.
“You think the others are in the habit of lying to you?” Amanda asked.
“No, not lying exactly, but I think that everyone likes to disguise the truth because of my age, and that’s been bothering me,” the girl said as she brushed away some hair from her cheek, and it made Amanda think of Maryanne, who was also in the habit of doing the same thing. Amanda smiled.
“What’s going to happen to us?” Sam asked with a look of concern.
Amanda felt uncomfortable with the question, and she shifted her position a little, while she worked on a no-crap kind of response.
“That’s a very vague question, Sam, and I’m not sure how I’m supposed to be able to answer it,” she finally said after thinking it over.
“You have to know what I mean,” Sam said with frustration evident in her voice. “What kind of a future do we have, I mean, we could all be dead tomorrow.”
“Look, Sam, it isn’t just you and this generation that had sat around thinking about their mortality. It’s an age-old question that plenty of people have thought about over the years, it just so happens that times are tense now and it comes to mind a little more often than usual,” Amanda said.
“Just what is the condition of our situation? I mean, really, six months ago, I was a normal teenage girl, who liked to go clothes shopping with my friends. I had favorite musicians, liked to go to the movies, eat ice cream sundaes, and beg my parents for a horse. I thought that I had problems, you know, like when my hair wouldn’t cooperate, or how to make Jimmy at school notice me. Before all this happened, I was struggling to figure out how to tell my parents that I was getting a C in basic chemistry,” Sam was speaking as if a dam had broken inside of her, and there was a torrent of thoughts tumbling out. “I was looking forward to getting my driver’s license and already working on negotiating a car from my dad.”
Sam stopped speaking and slumped her shoulders, looking like her speech had been exhausting.
Amanda put her arm around the teen. She could easily relate to Sam’s struggle except for the whole boy band and teenage angst thing.
“Well, kid,” Amanda said, “the good news is that you get to start driving early, no license required, and I’ll help you get a vehicle. You don’t have to worry about having a bad hair day anymore because we don’t even bother looking in mirrors, and someday, you’ll find your soul mate.”
“How could you joke at a time like this?” Sam asked, sounding like her feelings had been hurt.
“You’re being sensitive, and I was being serious,” Amanda said. “We can’t go through our days worrying about tomorrow and what might happen to us. We need to work in a positive way toward making a future for ourselves, because unlike before, our future will only be what we decide to make it, good or bad. The way I see it, you are our future. You and Tammy, all the young people that are left on this planet are our future.”
“What future, Amanda? We live out in the middle of nowhere, where it’s dangerous, like that snake. I don’t have any friends anymore, and the ones I had are dead, I’m sure of it. We can’t go home. We don’t even have a home anymore. It’s all so hopeless,” Sam said, sounding forlorn.
“Sam, those things out there, the creepers, they aren’t going to last forever. They eat, but they aren’t ever satisfied. Their bodies are decaying, falling apart. Trust me, Sam, someday, this will all be over, and it will be the young people, like you, that will be the future. And the exciting thing about that is that all of you will be able to decide how you would like to rebuild,” Amanda said, letting the passion rise in her voice.
Sam sat, contemplating for a minute, wearing a serious expression that Amanda could just make out in the failing light of the day.
“I think that I understand now,” Sam said, nodding her head.
“It’s up to you and those that are left to do things differently, to not make the same mistakes that we did to make something like this happen. You and others can give the human race a fresh start, a new chance,” Amanda said, reaching out to squeeze one of her hands. “Do you have any other questions for me because it’s getting dark and we need to get back while we can still see our way?”
“I did, but now I don’t think so,” Sam said reflectively. “I have a lot to think about.”
Both women walked back, side by side, with Red trailing. The wind whipped their freshly cut hair around their faces and pushed at their backs as they traveled in silence back to camp. Even though Sam felt like she was ready, Amanda hoped that it had not been a mistake to push for Sam to be allowed to go on the next run. There would be a lot of danger involved, and she didn’t wa
nt to live with a mistake that couldn’t be taken back. She decided to wait to see how the girl’s training went before second-guessing herself too much, but it was one thing to present the logical argument of sending her to town and completely another to face the reality of it.
“Don’t worry about the run,” Sam said, as if she had read her friend’s mind. “I’m ready.”
Amanda knew that Sam was demonstrating the typical bravado of youth and hoped that the girl was right about being ready.
“I’m glad that you think I’m capable,” Sam said as they stepped into camp.
Roy was lighting the lanterns and Maryanne was washing dishes. Jason slept, and Tammy was still playing with Boo.
“It’s nice to be young and have someone that believes in you.”
“Let’s see how you do on that driving, shooting, and combat tests before you get too comfortable with the idea, okay?” Amanda said, trying to keep things in perspective for the girl.
Amanda knew that should the training go poorly, not only would she not allow Sam to go on the next run, but that it would devastate the girl.
“Hey, Mom,” Sam said, “do you want some help with the dishes?”
Maryanne, whose face was glistening with sweat, looked up in surprise at her daughter.
“I can’t remember the last time you actually offered to help me in the kitchen,” she said, sounding breathless. “I am a bit tired. If you could finish off these dishes, then I’ll just sit down for a few minutes.”
Sam immediately went to replace her mother without a single word of complaint while Maryanne looked to Amanda questioningly. Amanda merely shrugged her shoulders by way of an answer. It seemed that having that discussion with the girl had instilled a sense of responsibility as well as a call-to-action. If this turnaround in behavior is any indication, she thought, then she might be ready and able to help on the run. Amanda considered this, and realizing that Sam had wanted their discussion to remain a confidential one, she said nothing to Maryanne.
Chapter 19
Sam, filthy and bruised, limped around camp the next morning. To her credit, thought Amanda, she made no complaints about it. Amanda hadn’t wanted to be so tough on the girl during their early morning combat practice, but she had to know what the kid was made of, and she knew that she wouldn’t be doing her any favors by taking it easy on her. She really wanted to know how hard she would work to stay alive, even in a simulated environment like this morning, so she had awoken the girl with a start, and they had jumped right into it. Amanda had hoped that the element of surprise would get Sam’s adrenaline spiked so that she could monitor her responses, fight or flight. In a dangerous situation, either response may be required of her.
Amanda had instinctually known when to run and when to fight, but for most, that was not the case. Fortunately, it was something that could be taught with the right training. But Amanda had been pleasantly surprised to find that the teen’s natural survival responses were intelligent and reflexive, meaning that the girl was a natural like herself. It had been difficult for Amanda not to smile during their practice because she was so proud of her, but that would have discredited the exercise, so she had struggled to remain cold-faced.
Sam had put a tremendous amount of energy into their practice, and even after having been repeatedly thrown into the ground, the girl had kept getting back up, ready to give it another try. As far as Amanda was concerned, Sam was not only gutsy and highly teachable but with a little training was going to be perfectly able to protect herself in a close-quarters situation. Amanda hoped that she would be equally adept at driving and shooting, which would qualify her to be a great support during the runs, not to mention that the girl was obviously wanting to go. Like any teen, she was becoming stir crazy being stuck around the camp day in and day out, and that was something that Amanda could relate to.
The clouds had all vanished from the sky, and the heat was back to being oppressive. Roy had been up early to put some sealant in the truck’s radiator and had announced that it had been an easy fix and should hold. Amanda had gone to sleep last night feeling fresh and clean, but already, she was slick with sweat that the desert dirt was clinging too and fast on her way to being filthy again. But having made the decision to better their living situation, she still felt hopeful that she might yet have the opportunity to live like a human being and not like an animal.
Red had kept up his self-scheduled patrols during the night and was sleeping solidly while Maryanne prepared coffee and breakfast. It pained Amanda to think that one day, the coffee would run out everywhere, thus ending the morning routine that she still clung to, and though it wasn’t a survival necessity, the thought of losing it was depressing.
“Coffee’s ready!” Maryanne announced to the group. “It’s a little weak because I’m trying to stretch it out, but use your imaginations, and it’ll be wonderful.”
“I want some, Mom,” Sam said, bringing a mug toward the kitchen.
Amanda felt a little guilty as she looked at the battered girl, standing there with her cup extended. She was hopeful that Maryanne wouldn’t be upset with her for beating up her daughter.
“Of course, you can have some coffee,” Maryanne said, looking to her daughter proudly, as if she was seeing her in a new light.
“Really?” Sam said, apparently expecting a fight. “Cool.” The girl walked away, while stopping to take small sips of the hot brew.
Little Tammy was the only one that was still asleep, and it was a wonder that she could sleep through all the bustle of activity that had and was still taking place around the camp. Jason had said once that out of all of them, Tammy might be the one that ends up the most well-adjusted to their new world. Being so young, she had had very little time to understand how life had been in the LBZ. Therefore, she wouldn’t be pining away at what had been lost to them and better able to make a future for herself in the way that she had always understood it to be. This reasoning made sense to Amanda, and she sincerely hoped that that would be the case because she was sure the rest of them, including herself, were all suffering from PTSD, in some form or another.
Boo was asleep on her back, with her four legs sticking straight up. She was lying right next to Tammy, atop of one of the child’s filthy shirts. The little dog was snoring. Amanda smiled, thinking that sometimes, it is the little things in life that can bring us so much enjoyment.
“It’s a wonder, isn’t it?” Maryanne said to Amanda, having seen Amanda looking at her youngest daughter.
“I’m telling you,” Jason said, “she’ll be mentally healthier than us all.”
Jason was awake, and his voice sounded strong and clear, unlike last night when it had been so low and weak. Amanda felt another surge of hope course through her as she considered again that he would survive his injury.
It was difficult for her to see him lying in the chair, so frail-looking. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t get it out of her mind, finding him in such a condition, dragging him to the Jeep as he had screamed. His screams had drawn the creepers back to them, and she shuddered at the memory.
It had been a primal type of gut instinct that had sent her into town to save Roy and Jason, and she had almost arrived too late. Both men had come under siege by an alarming number of creepers and had climbed atop a roof for safety, but there they had remained trapped, and with each passing minute, more creepers had been arriving. The two of them were stuck in a bad way atop a roof in the blazing sun with very little water and a failing hope that they would make it out of this.
Amanda had driven on instinct to the last housing area that they had been searching door to door for supplies in the hopes that that’s where they had picked up on this run. She had taken Roy’s Jeep from camp on nothing other than a really bad feeling, and she had been right. Rolling down the window and lying on the horn had attracted the attention of the low-functioning creepers, drawing them toward her. She had waited until they had almost descended upon the soft-topped Jeep before
driving away slowly, being sure to keep them following by making a lot of noise, goading them along. She had taken the pack of creepers all the way down the block and away from the house where Roy and Jason had been.
At the corner, she had gunned the engine and sped away down the next street, making two more right turns before coming upon Roy and Jason again, and this time the creepers were gone. But there was a problem. Jason had slipped down the roof, being caught by Roy. Roy dislocated his shoulder, and Jason fell from the roof, breaking his leg in several places. She had jumped the curb with the Jeep, driving up onto what had once been a lawn and jumping out, leaving the engine running. Jason’s screams had drawn the creepers, and as Roy moved quickly to climb down off of the roof, Amanda dragged Jason toward the Jeep, and with Roy’s help, she had got him loaded in the passenger seat.
Roy had insisted that he could still drive, and Amanda had driven the Jeep out while Roy had taken the truck. But instead of returning with them, Roy had branched off to fill the water drum, leaving Amanda to drive the Jeep at higher speeds than she would have normally deemed prudent, across the desert and back to camp. Roy had returned a couple of hours later, in bad shape himself.
“There’s enough for another cup if you want,” Maryanne’s voice said, breaking through her memories, and she realized that she had absently drank all the coffee in her cup without remembering what it had tasted like. She stared at the empty cup.
“What?” Amanda said, feeling somewhat dazed, before coming back to the moment. “Oh, yes, thank you.”
“Sometimes I wonder where you go off to,” her friend said.
“The same place we all do,” Amanda answered, “the past.”
Maryanne made no comment but merely nodded her head in understanding.
“I think we’re ready to pick up where we left off,” Roy said. “I have some ideas.”
Amanda was surprised to see that it was Roy who was taking the initiative to gather everyone for the meeting. Usually, Roy preferred to watch and wait. He must have something to present to us, she thought, feeling a surge of excitement. She desperately wanted to be able to make a home for these people that she had grown to love, to make it work for them, to give the children a chance.
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