by Ruby Soames
Ferdi gives my mum a long kiss and whispers, ‘See you at the church.’ He winks at me, ‘Good luck, Miss Sarah!’
The two of them take a run up the landing and slide until they reach the stairs. Mum looks back at me, ‘You wouldn’t think I’m nearly fifty, would you?’ She waves Ferdi off and returns to me.
Simon and Donny canter down the central stairs to join the rest in the courtyard.
‘This is it!’ says my mother. ‘Hurry up Sarah, before he changes his mind!’
‘Thanks,’ I say flicking the powder puff in her direction. We look out of the window to see the cars leaving for the church.
‘Darling,’ and her eyes well up. ‘I’m so proud of you! Today you’re laying down the foundations of a new life together, a family!’ She stops a tear rolling down her cheek.
‘It’s a marking point. A very expensive marking point! Drink all the pink champagne you can get your hands on!’
‘Where’s Ferdi?’ she asks looking out of the window for him. ‘Oh there he is.’ She watches him getting into one of the black Mercedes. ‘Isn’t he handsome? Do you think I’m a cradle snatcher?’
‘You make each other very happy, so why not?’
‘But … nearly fifty.’
‘You keep telling me!’
My phone beeps. A text from Kamilla saying that everyone’s in the church and, ‘Sarah – there’s a woman here with a rabbit? Is that OK?’
I reassure her Happy is very welcome. Just as I finish, I’m interrupted by the sound of footsteps on the stairs and then a light tap at the door.
‘Yes?’
Two young men stand at the entrance. They look at me, then at Florence.
‘Come in. Tom, Barnaby.’ I kiss each one being careful not to crumple my dress. ‘This is my mother.’
The three of them look at each other not knowing what to say. Tom breaks the awkwardness and goes to shake Mum’s hand. I notice that he’s holding an A4 white envelope.
‘Sorry to interrupt, we wanted to give you this before you got married. It’s from all of us.’
Barnaby brings out a jewellery box from his pocket and opens it. Inside is a diamond necklace with a ruby at its centre.
‘Oh my word!’ says Mum.
‘It’s beautiful! Tom, Barnaby … I … don’t –’
Barnaby helps me put on the necklace. ‘My mother wanted you to have it. It belonged to Granny Hardwick. We felt it right to give it to you today.’
I give them each a kiss before Tom holds out the white envelope. ‘Something else. It might be important … for the registrar.’ I put my hand out to take it but Tom hands it to Mum, ‘It’s for you really.’
Mum stares at the boys, taking in everything about them. She draws the envelope from Tom’s fingers.
‘We better get going,’ says Tom backing up to the door. ‘Just wanted to say you look ravishing – and you too, Sarah!’ Mum smiles at them before looking uncertainly at the envelope.
I give a last wave, turn to mum. I can tell that she likes them, and it’s not because of them, it’s because of her: she’s changed. When they close the door, Mum says, ‘Henry was just like that, at that age.’ She wipes away a tear.
‘They really want to make things right by us.’
‘I can see that – those diamonds are real. It’s a good start!’ she says coming closer to the necklace.
‘An heirloom, eh?’ I hold the envelope out to her. ‘Open it’.
Her hands are shaking. She tears the top of the envelope and pulls out a type-written piece of paper.
The waiting car downstairs beeps twice in a chirpy, get-a-move-on way.
‘It’s my birth certificate.’ Not that I need to tell her. Florence holds it in her hands and reads the words, ‘Father: Henry Hardwick. Lawyer. Northridge Hall, Oxfordshire. No more unknown.’ She shrugs her shoulders and puts the document back in the envelope.
‘Are you happy now? Caroline and Henry’s lawyer, Bradshaw, they got it changed. It’s official.’
‘Look at the time!’ she says standing up and adjusting her neckline. ‘Time to leave now – got everything?’ She steps into her shoes.
‘Mum?’ I move my head in line with hers but she avoids eye-contact. ‘Aren’t you happy?’
‘Of course I’m happy, it’s your big day!’
‘No, about this,’ I hold up the certificate. ‘Remember, from the first time I ever saw my birth certificate with Father: Unknown on it, it’d been my ambition to change that. And here is it. Look!’
‘I’ve seen it. It’s just a bit of paper,’ she says, fanning her face with the envelope. ‘Why would that make me happy?’
‘You always said it was all you ever wanted – for him to be named on the birth certificate. Aren’t you pleased?’
‘I didn’t want it for me: it was for you.’ She takes out a gardenia from a vase of flowers on my dressing table and settles it behind my ear. ‘Sarah, darling. Don’t look disappointed. What makes me happy is that you’ve grown up into a kind, intelligent and very wise young woman despite everything.’ She looks back at the flower in my hair. ‘I thought I wanted Henry, but I didn’t really know him at all. And Henry, bless his soul, he didn’t know himself any better either, all testosterone, fear and pride – and I wasted so many years waiting for him.’ She smoothens out the pleats in my dress. ‘Oh, I nearly forgot. Joseph wanted me to give you this.’ She goes into her handbag and takes out a package.
The compass I bought Joseph in Camden Market falls out. There is a little note attached from Joseph: My darling bride and future wife, I got this fixed. It’s no longer stuck. You can now go in any direction you want, but I hope you always travel West. Very nearly your husband, Joe xxx
Mum stops reading over my shoulder, ‘You two are a funny pair! What’s that about?’
‘I’ll tell you when you’re older,’ I answer.
The gardenia my mother gave me is so cool, gentle against my cheek compared with the weight of the diamonds around my neck. Mum talks fast on her mobile to the vicar about an escaped rabbit in the church. She also has to defend a dog who’s lifted his leg against the pulpit. Anika comes up the stairs to help me with my train. This isn’t really a beginning, just another point of the circle, but a good place to end the story which started a year ago, sitting on the underground, on my way to work, seconds away from believing everything was over, when it had only just begun. This is the point when everything is right.
THE END
Acknowledgements
Thank you to Deborah Paxford for her constant encouragement and support. DP was this novel’s first reader and said it felt like ‘a holiday’ which is just what I wanted my readers to experience. Thanks to Claire McAlpine for her incisive comments and ideas and Robert Marcus for his expertise in grammar, syntax and language. I’m also indebted to Pamela Screve, Harriet Macaree and Suzanne Stannard for their intelligent and honest readings of this book. Of course, to Yvonne Barlow whose tireless patience, editing genius and passion for literature turned this book from a weed to a houseplant. Jon Bryant, for slaying the clichés and axing the adjectives, for the cups of tea, two great kids and for putting up with me all these years.
Ruby Soames is an Anglo-American writer. She lives in the South of France with her two children and journalist husband. She lectures on Comparative Education. Her first novel, Seven Days to Tell You, was published as a result of the Hookline Novel Competition. This is her second novel.
www.rubysoames.com
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© Copyright 2014 Ruby Soames
A CIP catalogue for this book is available from the British Library.
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either a product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.
Print ISBN: 9780957695764
E ISBN: 9781682994498