by Stacey Nash
Beau settles into a chair across from us. We’re in a private sort of sitting room, nothing like Beau’s office back at the farm. This room holds comfy chairs and nothing else. The relaxed atmosphere makes me sink back into the seat, nestled against Will and Lilly. Beau leans back and rests his left ankle on his right knee, as usual wearing long shorts even though it’s early spring. As he looks to Will he lets out a low whistle. “Well done.”
Will ducks his head. “Thanks.”
“You got in, achieved your goal, and got out again almost unscathed.” Beau’s face falls, but he looks at Jax and his smile returns. “We succeeded in ours, too. They took an awful blow and it will be a long time before they recover. Maybe everyone else will have a chance to move forward without their interference.”
Cynnie. Those words could have been right out of her mouth. With a slight heaviness, I glance at Jax and wonder what he thinks about the Founders’ ideals. We never did get a chance to talk about it.
“We have a lot to discuss. I don’t expect you to be ready yet, but when you are, I need to hear about all that happened.” Beau’s words pull me back to the conversation. “We’ve never had somebody on the inside before. I’m sure the information you have will be invaluable. We’re going to deal with them and with Manvyke.”
“Sure,” Jax says.
I draw in a deep breath and exhale slowly. “Okay.”
“From what I understand, you’ve been through a very traumatic experience.”
“If that’s what you call having your life ripped out of your mind,” Jax says.
Lilly rests her hand on my arm. Yanked isn’t half wrong. Jax’s expression is firm, his eyes meet mine and all the emotion of the last month threatens to overwhelm me.
“Yes, well, we weren’t entirely sure what happened,” Beau says, “but we knew they had you.”
“Why didn’t you come for us sooner?” Jax’s tone sounds carefully controlled.
“We came as fast as we could.”
Will shuffles beside me, and when I sneak a peek at him, his eyes are narrow and his head shakes, just barely.
“Anyway,” Beau says. “We need to talk about Garrett.”
Will shuffles forward onto the edge of the couch and drops his head into his hands.
“I can’t.” Lilly stands and shakes her head, walks a few paces, turns around. Her face pinched and her eyes shimmering. She shakes her head again. “I can’t do this, Dad.”
Beau takes two long strides and scoops his daughter into his arms. She rests her head on his chest and sobs, quivering. “Oh, Daddy. It was awful.”
A lump springs into my throat.
“He—” She sucks in a raking sob. “He’s such a good fighter. The—” her breath wheezes as she inhales, “best, but … he cut him down like he was slicing …”
I barely knew Garrett for more than a few months, yet he sacrificed his life to save mine. I don’t feel like I deserve such a noble deed. Does anybody deserve someone else’s life? Dragging the back of my hand across my eyes, I swipe the building tears away. It’s not fair. He shouldn’t have died. Will’s hand closes around mine and I shut my eyes, swallowing against the pain.
Will releases a small cough. “We made it all the way into the room where Mae and Jax were held. There were three of them there. Manvyke, his son, and a guard. Garrett rushed the son—”
“Nik.” I swallow back the tears. Will looks at me. “His name is Nikias.”
Jax grunts.
“I ran straight to Mae, the guard who was holding her blocked me. Garrett broke off his fight with … Nikias,” Will spits out his name like it’s a bad taste, which I guess it is. “I don’t know why.”
“Because I told him the bastard was mine,” Jax says.
Will nods and continues, “Garrett went straight for Manvyke who had some wicked looking ceremonial thing and drove it right into Garrett’s neck.”
Lilly heaves against her father. “He didn’t stand a chance. It all happened so fast and then we were retreating and—” she wheezes another sob.
“We had to fall back,” Will says. “Mae—”
“And Jax,” I add.
“Were unrestrained and everyone had the upper hand. We couldn’t give Manvyke a chance to take anyone else out too so we ran.” Will draws in a deep breath.
“And Garrett?”
Will shakes his head. “There was no use. He was gone.”
Beau drops his cheek onto the top of Lilly’s head and Will lets his hand fall onto my thigh. When I glance at him, he nods toward the door, indicating we should leave. I stand, looking to Jax, who gets the message. The three of us slip out of the room, leaving Lilly and her father to grieve.
The next morning, we’re all sitting at the huge table over breakfast when Beau takes a seat beside Will, on the opposite side of the table to me. Will and I exchange a confused glance and Jax digs into his favorite, scrambled eggs. Martha made a big fuss and insisted on cooking our favorite foods which was really sweet, though unnecessary. I push the pancake around my plate, hoping Beau doesn’t want to talk about our captivity because I’m not ready yet. Lilly stares at her plate without even raising a fork and several moments of silence pass before Beau clears his throat, causing us all to look at him.
“Why don’t you kids get out of here, go do something fun. Forget about the Collective for a bit and be teenagers.”
My eyes reconnect with Will’s across the table, interested but wary. We both turn to Lilly, who stares vacantly ahead. I nod, and Will smiles, saying, “Sounds like a good idea.”
Jax’s eyes twinkle with his smirk aimed at me. “I can think of a few fun things to do.”
My face heats and breakfast becomes my sole focus. No way I’m buying in on that.
“Where can we go?” Will asks.
“There’s a secure location, a cabin on Diamond Beach. It’s secluded and protected with a hide-all. You can port in and take communication devices. Just make sure you checkin a couple of times a day. Take a few days and when you come back, we can figure out how to move forward.”
It sounds too good to be true: somewhere safe, no training, no threats, no worries. I look from Jax to Will. Well, maybe only minimal worries. “I haven’t been to the beach in years.”
“Sounds good,” Will says.
“Yeah,” Jax agrees, “tonight sounds great.”
A tiny yelp escapes me when his foot brushes mine under the table, running up my shin and over my knee. He winks. Inhaling deeply doesn’t calm my burning face and I’m sure he notices and is probably amused. I cut glance to Will, hoping he can’t read between Jax’s lines. We really need to talk. Will’s brows are raised, so I offer him a small smile and shake my head as if at a stupid joke. “Sounds fun. Are you in, Lil?”
She swings her head around to meet me with her red rimmed eyes. “Huh?”
“We’re hitting the beach. You’re coming.”
“Sure.”
I don’t think she really knows what she’s just agreed to, but she needs this. “Not till later this afternoon though. Today you’re hanging with me. We need to get swimsuits.”
“Shopping?” Her voice picks up, just a little.
“Yeah, you still love it, don’t you?”
A sad smile matches her nod.
“Better sort out some cash first, then.”
Beau scratches round circles on the timber table with his coffee mug. “The Collective will have a price on your head. You’re not leaving resistance protection. If you swing by my office, you can grab the laptop and shop online. If you buy locally, Martha will duck out and collect it for you. Here, take this.” Beau hands me a silver card. I flip it over; credit. “Buy whatever she wants … within reason. My treat.”
Grateful, I pass him a smile. He knows his daughter well.
“Come on, Lil. Let’s shop.”
After breakfast, I take Lilly back to the room we all share. Last night when we arrived, I was so exhausted I just crashed. We all did. Today, th
ough, it feels kind of weird yet comforting all being in one communal bunk room. Maybe it’s because I spent so long alone.
A small bag sits on the bed I slept in, apparently containing all my stuff from the farm. A quick look and I decide the only new thing I need is swimwear. I’ve got plenty of clothes, my nice comfortable jeans, tees, and blouses. Plus a few sweaters since the end of winter lingers in the night air.
We collect the laptop off Beau and go back to the room where we briefed him yesterday. I balance it on the low table and sit on the floor, patting the spot beside me, inviting Lilly to sit. Her face, devoid of any expression, is so unlike her it makes my heart ache. I open the computer and as it whirs on I ask, “What shop should we visit?”
“Dunno.”
Swimwear seems like the obvious thing to type into the search engine. A long list of sites pop up and the first hit looks like a shop so I click to enter. The page opens and I find beachwear for teens. When I click, the screen fills with pictures of pretty models in bathing suits. Perfect, but a little daunting. It’ll be too cold to swim anyway. I click on a boy-leg boardie, singlet top combo.
“Check this one out.”
Lilly lifts her gaze to the screen and frowns. “That’s all wrong for your figure, Mae. You have a gorgeous petite frame. Show it off.”
I smile to myself. “What should I wear then?”
She brushes my hand aside from the keyboard. “Something like this.”
The screen fills with a green two piece almost the same color as Jax’s eyes and that dress. The bikini bottom’s gathered at the sides with a dangling string and the halter neck top comes down in a very low V.
No way. I couldn’t even fill out the top let alone feel good in it.
“I can’t wear that.”
“Yes you can.” She clicks ’add to basket’.
I smile to myself again, even though the thought of wearing it makes me want to wrap my arms around myself and never let go. I’ll suck it up if it makes Lilly a little less sad. Shopping online is so much better than hitting the mall, we surf through more shops than I can count and Lil never tires. Swimsuits, beach dresses, flip flops, she buys it all. We’re browsing the online supermarket for supplies to take with us when she asks, “Has Will ever told you how he feels?”
I continue staring at the screen and adding junk food to the virtual cart.
I love you, Mae. His words burned into my memory like they were imprinted with a branding iron. I had no idea. He’s always been there, constant and true with his cute smile and kind heart, and I’ve always loved him too. I take a deep breath trying to collect my thoughts.
“While you were missing, he was a mess. You were all he could think about.”
“He told me he loved me,” I say, “but I didn’t know who he was then. It’s probably just something he said out of desperation, to make me remember. We’re best friends, Lil.”
She snorts. “Right, and he might have grown a bionic arm, too.”
Chapter Thirty Three
Mae
I rest my hand on the hall wall, close my eyes, and take a deep breath while I try and figure out how to tell Dad about Mom. A series of clinks, one, two, three really fast and he laughs.
“Foul shot, two to me.”
Sucking in more air in an attempt to pull myself together, I step forward. He deserves to know. Two long strides and I’m in the room. Can’t back out now.
Al stands to the side of the pool table, leaning on a cue like it’s a walking stick. His too-short snowy mustache twitches as he smiles. “Mae, it’s good to see you.”
Dad turns, and confusion flits across his face, only for a second but it was there and I saw it. He smiles and I rush forward, arms open. But just as I reach him he raises a hand and grabs my shoulder before I can hug him.
“Dad,” I say. “She was—”
“Ann … Ana …”
There’s not enough air. Even though I inhale, it can’t push past my tightened throat. He doesn’t know me. Still, even after another month or more. I don’t know why I thought … no, hoped … when Will said he was here, memories of my childhood returned like they happened just yesterday. Just me and Dad, all the years spent together missing my mother. It didn’t take long to recall what Manvyke did to him—was it the same thing he did to Jax and I? I hoped he recovered while I was lost.
“Anamae.” His voice is a little hesitant, but it’s my name.
Smiling, I meet his eyes and mine are blurry. “Dad?”
His brows lower and he glances to Al who smiles encouragingly and nods. Dad drops his hand from my shoulder and throws his arms open. Without a second thought, I fall into them and into his hug. He’s back, Dad’s back, at least mostly. He knows me and I know him. I blink, and happy tears roll down my cheeks as I cling to him.
“How about giving your old man a game?”
I pull back. Al extends the cue by the thick end and I take it. Dad racks the balls, stands back, and with a sweep of his hand, indicates I should break.
“Mom—”
“Anamae,” Al warns. “He’s still recovering.”
Okay, I can wait. He’s actually recovering, that’s good. But Al’s right, bringing up Mom would be too much. It can wait until later, when his mind is more stable.
We land on a wooden floor facing a wall of ceiling-to-floor glass windows. The sun sinking below the waterline streaks fingers of violet and pink across the gorgeous sky. I let the backpack drop and Jax’s hand fall from mine, then take a step forward. “It’s so beautiful.”
A dull thud announces Will and Lilly’s arrival.
Jax’s arm slips around my waist as I watch the breathtaking sunset. Lilly comes to stand on my other side and I tuck my hand into hers, passing along some comfort or maybe taking some support. I know what’s coming, but I don’t think I’m ready for it. A deep breath of salty ocean air doesn’t offer me any more courage. Looking at Will, he gives me a small smile, but his brow’s furrowed. I turn back to the orange orb sinking below the water as waves crash on the sand. Then take another deep breath and step forward, releasing myself from my friends. Glad we’re together again, even if thoughts of Cynnie swim in the back of my mind.
“Dibs on the biggest bed.” Lilly’s voice is little hollow as she moves to explore the shack.
“It’s all yours.” Will laughs.
Sitting on a low blue couch facing the window, his arms stretched out over its back, Will looks completely at ease. I know him though and can see the tension across his shoulders hinting at the truth. His head tilts back as he admires the thick timber beams supporting the thatched roof in the open, airy room. His long legs stretch out on an abundance of bright pillows strewn over the sunken floor.
“Pretty neat little place.” I walk across to check out the kitchen visible through a cutout in the sidewall.
“Yep. I could sleep right here looking out at the ocean,” Will says.
Leaving the kitchen and heading to a doorway nearby, I poke my head in and find a short hall. Three more doors open off it, all on the far side. I peek into the first door and it holds twin single beds covered in pale-blue beachy looking comforters. Lace curtains cover the window behind the bed heads, probably the source of the dusty smell. Or maybe it’s just because this place hasn’t been used in a while. I cross to the window and slide it open, letting the cool night breeze caress my face. It’s actually not that cold here. But we could be in the other hemisphere for all I know.
I step back into the hall. Behind the second door I discover a tiny bathroom with a shower, toilet, and vanity, all in sandy earth tones. The ocean air’s so refreshing I draw in another deep breath. As I reach the last door, I find Lilly spread out like a starfish on a queen bed. She props herself up on her elbows and smiles, a shadow of her usual beaming grin. “I was only joking about the bed, you take it.”
“It’s fine, Lil, I don’t really feel like sleeping. I’m going to take a walk.” Try and pull some semblance of order into mind.
When I return to the main living area, Will’s in the kitchen unpacking food and Jax is still staring out at the darkening sky. Careful to aim my words to both of them, I say, “I’ll be back in a bit.”
Fresh air and space to think is just what I need. The door at the edge of the glass window squeaks like it needs oil as I push it open and walk out onto the timber decking. Pulling it closed behind me, I sigh because they’re both watching me. Jax from the window and Will through the kitchen servery. He steps out of the kitchen and crosses the room, his mouth moving as he talks to Jax.
I turn around and step onto the sand, opening my mind to the possibilities my future holds.
Chapter Thirty Four
Mae
The waves thunder onto the shore and the spray of the ocean tickles my skin. The white peaks glow in the moonlight as they break. I haven’t spent much time at the beach since my mother vanished. I guess it was hard for Dad while I was growing up. Holidays weren’t really our thing. But there’s something utterly peaceful about the smell, sound, and feel of the ocean that makes everything all right.
I sense more than hear someone coming up behind me and sigh as I look out to sea. Just an hour, that’s all I wanted to figure out what I’m going to do: about my mom, Cynnie, Will, Jax. There’s so many things spinning around my mind I just can’t concentrate on any single one of them.
Pulling my knees up under my chin, I close my eyes and drink in the fresh ocean smell. He lowers himself onto the sand beside me, so close that his arm feels warm and firm against mine. Neither of us speak for awhile, each in our own thoughts. I feel him move slightly as if uncomfortable and I can’t put it off any longer.