Because the truth was not much had changed. In his business, he would still have his enemies, and he couldn’t just walk away. He employed hundreds of people, and while their jobs were perhaps not legal, they were still jobs in a country that didn’t have many. If he stopped their employment, their families would go hungry. Plus, he had the people on the other end of the scale to consider. He’d been paid large sums by men from various countries who were high in their political positions. They wanted weapons that would have no traceability. He didn’t ask why they needed the weapons, but if he didn’t provide them, he knew they’d track him down and kill him. They couldn’t afford to have people like him knowing too much.
He walked into the kitchen to find Lily sitting at the kitchen counter, sipping coffee while she watched the flowers through the window.
She looked over at him and smiled as he walked in. “Good morning. There’s more in the pot.”
He smiled back. “Thank you. I’ll have some later.” He moved to stand on the other side of the kitchen island, blocking her view of the garden with his body. “I need to talk to you about something.”
She set her cup on the counter and her lips thinned into a line. “Uh-oh. That doesn’t sound good.”
He took a breath and forced the words from his lips. “You can’t stay here, Flower. It’s too dangerous.”
Genuine confusion crossed her perfect features. “What?”
“You heard me. You need to go back home. You’re not safe here.”
She shook her head. “You can’t just send me away. Not now.”
“I have to.”
“No.” She slammed her small fists down on the counter. “You don’t get to make these decisions for me. You brought me here against my will, and now you want to send me back again, also against my will? Who the hell do you think you are?”
“I’m the man who bought you.”
“I was never anyone’s to sell.”
His voice was twisted with emotion as he spoke. “Consider yourself free now. I rescind my ownership. Go back to your job, to your life. You are no longer mine.”
He tried not to see the tears swimming in her eyes.
“You can’t do this to me,” she said. “I don’t want to go back. My life was empty then. I sat in my apartment alone night after night. I had no friends, and I couldn’t even conceive the idea of being intimate with someone. Please, Monster. I don’t want to go back. Don’t make me live without you.”
His jaw tightened and he looked away. “You have no choice. I’ll have you handcuffed again and taken against your will if I have to. Don’t think for a minute I’m not capable of it.”
Her misery flipped to anger, and she leapt to her feet. The stool she’d been sitting on hit the floor with a crash. She flew around the kitchen island at him, her hands smacking against his chest. “No, you son of a bitch! Don’t you dare do this to me.”
He grabbed her wrists to stop her hitting him, and all the fight went out of her. She sank to the floor, so he held her up only by her arms.
He looked at the woman on her knees before him, tears streaming down her face. This was how he’d always liked his women, but all he felt now was sorrow. He’d never connected with a woman in the way he had with her. He might have had sex with plenty of women, but that’s all it ever had been. Sex. They were just vessels to give him pleasure. Things were different with Lily. All he wanted was to give her pleasure, to see her face twist as she came, to hear her cries and moans as he pushed himself inside her. She was the first woman he’d ever cared about. That she was in pain hurt him, too, in a way he’d never experienced before. His heart clenched. He didn’t want her to be in pain. He didn’t want this.
He released her wrists and reached down to her. “Flower, please …”
Lily angled her body away. “Don’t touch me.”
“I love you, and I only want to protect you.”
He’d finally gotten her attention.
She looked up at him, her golden brown eyelashes darker and matted together with her tears. “That’s why I can’t stand the idea of you sending me away. I love you, too, Monster.”
But he shook his head and pulled her to her feet so she stood directly in front of him. “Don’t call me that.”
“What?”
“Monster. Don’t call me that. I have another name.”
She blinked in surprise. “What do you mean?”
“It’s a name I gave myself a long time ago. I didn’t dare tell anyone because I couldn’t stand their ridicule. I knew my father would never allow me to be called anything else, so I simply used the name when I thought of myself.”
A sad smile softened her features. “Tell me your name.”
“My name is Merrick.” Speaking the name out loud felt like a baptism. He’d held it inside himself for so long, and now he’d finally told someone—and not just anyone. Someone he cared about. Someone he loved.
The sad smile spread into a genuine one, and his heart clenched with emotion.
Fresh tears welled in her eyes.
She reached up and touched his face, the side with the now faded birthmark. “Merrick. It suits you.”
He nodded. “I think so, too.”
Then she frowned. “Don’t I know that name from somewhere?”
He nodded again. “I found it in a book. A story about a man who was so disfigured, he was treated like a freak.”
“Joseph Merrick?” Her voice lifted with recognition. “The Elephant Man.”
“Yes, though they called him John Merrick in the book. I read the story over and over when I was a boy,” he said. “I could relate to his character, but at the same time I was glad my father protected me from the same fate.”
She pressed her lips together. “The world can be a cruel place, but we can’t hide from it. Just like we can’t hide from the men who want to hurt you.”
“And you, too,” he said. “That’s what frightens me the most.”
She stared up at him, and for the first time he realized she could actually see him, not his birthmark. Every other person’s eyes had always flitted to the mark down one side of his face. It was as though he was wearing a mask and no one could see past it. But not Lily. She stared right into his eyes, a deep, soul searching gaze that made him feel as though he couldn’t hide a single thing from her.
For the first time in his life he had someone who truly saw him as the man he was, and not simply as his birthmark.
He loved this woman.
Could he really bring himself to send her away?
THE END
Like what you’ve read? ‘Denied,’ Book Two in the Monster Trilogy, is now available to pre-order, and will be released on March 29th 2016! You can pre-order ‘Denied’ from Amazon as well as other online book stores!
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CUT TOO DEEP
One Year Earlier
Jenna Armstrong grabbed at the arm of the young man heading toward his car.
“Please, Garrett, don’t drive home. You’ve been drinking.”
The stench of booze washed over her in putrid waves, combined with stale cigarette smoke, and even the acrid stink of piss where he must have sprayed his shoes at some point during the evening. He’d always been a bad aim.
He shook her off. “Don’t tell me what to do, you fat bitch. I’ve only had a couple.”
Yeah, a couple of bottles of Jack.
His words stung. She knew she wasn’t a skinny girl, far from it. But what were a few insults? She’d suffered a lot worse at Garrett’s hands. She knew she should leave him, but his comments about no one else loving someone her size stayed in her head. She was terrified if she lost him, she’d spend the rest of
her life alone. But perhaps being alone would be better than being with Garrett. He did his best to put her down, to worm away at what small amount of self-confidence she had. Even on the odd occasion when she managed to lose a few pounds, he would catch her standing in front of the mirror and comment on how she’d only lost the weight from her tits.
When she’d arrived home from work that evening, Garrett had told her he was taking her out. She’d been delighted, and dressed in jeans that hugged her ample curves and a floaty top to disguise the belly she was always conscious of. She’d thought they’d been going out for dinner, but instead he brought her to the run-down bar they were outside of now, and he’d told her to get a round in while he played on the gaming machines. She should have stopped buying him drinks over an hour ago, but when she suggested he’d had too much, he got nasty with her. She figured she’d just drive home, and he’d hopefully sleep it off. She hadn’t considered that he’d fight her about who would do the driving.
“Please, Garrett. Just let me drive. It’s no big deal.” She could hear the whiny tone entering her voice and tried to stop herself. He hated it when she got whiny.
“This is my fucking car, and I’ll drive it if I want to.”
She needed to stand up to him. It wasn’t often she did, and, on the odd occasion when she had, she’d been rewarded by being shoved up against a wall, or having a fist balled in her face. He’d never gone as far as hitting her, but he’d threatened it often enough.
Jenna reached out to snatch the keys from his hand, but he was surprisingly quick for someone who’d had so much to drink. He whisked them out of the way and held them above his head, out of her reach.
He laughed, nastily. “You can’t get them now.”
“You’ll get yourself or someone else killed if you try driving home. I mean it, Garrett.”
“Shut the hell up. I’m fine. I know when I’ve had too much. You’re not my fucking mother. When did you turn into such a goddamned prude?”
She’d finally had enough of his bullshit.
Jenna put her hands on her hips. “You know what, Garrett? Go ahead. Drive yourself home. See if I care if you wrap the car around a light pole. I’m walking.”
Even as she set off down the street, the guilt worked its way into her heart. What if he actually did have an accident? What if he hurt someone else in the process? She would never forgive herself. She needed to call the cops and report him. He would kill her—literally kill her—and their relationship would be over, but she couldn’t let him hurt himself or anyone else.
She fished her cell from her pocket and lifted a finger to swipe the phone live, but a hand wrapped around her wrist, the thick fingers squeezing tight. Pain shot up through her arm, and reflexively her hand opened around the phone. It fell to the ground, the case splitting, the battery dropping out onto the sidewalk.
Jenna barely managed to exclaim before her arm was wrenched behind her back and she found herself being frog-marched back to Garrett’s car. He twisted her around to face him and shoved her, so her back hit the metal shell of the car. Pain speared up her spine.
“Who the fuck were you calling? Hope you didn’t think someone else would come pick you up.”
“Garrett, just leave me alone. You’re hurting me.” She tried to pull her wrist free. She glanced down to where his fingers dug into her skin. His nails were too long, dirt encrusted beneath them. A sudden wave of nausea swept over her. Had she really let him touch her with those hands?
“No fucking chance. You’re coming home with me, whether you like it or not.”
He gave her another shove, as if to make his point, and then reached around her body to pull the passenger door open.
A couple of guys came out of the bar to smoke, and though they glanced over to Jenna, they spoke between themselves rather than doing anything to intervene.
“Get in the car,” Garrett hissed in her ear, alcohol and cigarettes washing over her.
“No, you’re drunk!”
His tone lowered to a menacing growl. “I said get in the fucking car.”
She planted her feet and squared her shoulders, refusing to move, but though Garrett may have only had twenty pounds on her, weight-wise, he was hell of a lot stronger. Before she could fight back, she found herself being yanked forward, around the car door, and shoved into the passenger seat. He slammed the door behind her.
Frantic, she threw herself across the seat, planning on climbing out of the driver’s side, but a clunk sounded from all four doors, and she realized he’d locked her in. Real fear pricked her heart, her skin crawling. How far was Garrett going to take this?
His face suddenly appeared at the driver’s window, a crazed ‘surprise’ grin on his face, as if this were all one big game. The car’s central locking clicked open again, and Jenna turned from him and lunged back toward the passenger door. Her fingers grappled for the handle, and she just managed to crack the door open before Garrett was in the car with her. He grabbed her arm and yanked her back in again, and then reached across her and pulled the door shut. He pressed the button to lock all the doors.
“Don’t want you getting any more stupid ideas, do we, bitch?”
Though she didn’t want to cry in front of him, hot tears streamed down her cheeks. “Please, Garrett. Just let me out. We’ll both get a cab home and then we can talk about this.”
“Talk about it?” he scoffed. “What the hell do I want to talk about?”
She glanced back toward the bar, one final spark of hope that someone had seen what was happening and was coming to help, but the guys who had been smoking threw their cigarette butts down and ground them with their heels, before heading back into the bar. It must have been too dark for them to realize anything more than a couple’s spat was going on.
No one was coming to help her.
The engine thrummed to life around her, the headlights illuminating the area in front of the car. Garrett put his foot down, screeching out of the parking lot. The motion threw her to one side and then back again, and quickly she reached around and grabbed her seat belt. She pulled the strap across her breasts and clicked the metal clip into place.
Jenna sat back in her seat, gripping the door with one hand and the edge of her seat with the other, her knuckles white. The bar where they’d been was located out of town, and Garrett sped along the empty road, his speed gradually increasing. Thirty miles an hour ... Forty miles an hour ... Fifty miles an hour …
He hit sixty and barely slowly for a bend, causing her to grip her seat tighter.
“Please, Garrett. Slow down.”
He laughed. “No way. I’m having too much fun.” He took one hand off the wheel and reached down to grab the top of her thigh, giving her flesh an appreciative squeeze. “Aren’t you having fun, my little Jenny Wren?”
“No, I’m not. You’re scaring me. Please slow down.” She used the only thing she had left. She forced a smile and placed her hand over the hand on her thigh. “If you get us home safely, I’ll show you how thankful I am.”
He glanced over at her, and the sheer contempt in his eyes made her heart lurch. He pulled his hand away, and she was at least relieved that he put it back on the steering wheel.
“You’ll be thankful to me when I tell you to be thankful to me. Got it?”
“Whatever you say, Garrett. Just watch the road, please!”
The headlights were on full glare, lighting the road ahead with an almost supernatural hue.
A car headed toward them from the opposite direction. The driver flashed his lights a couple of times to tell Garrett to dip his headlights, but Garrett only laughed and flipped the driver the finger. They were getting closer to town now. The apartment they shared was near downtown. He would have to slow down before he reached the built up area or the cops would be on him in an instant.
Tears poured down her face, her shoulders and neck tense, her eyes wide. Her heart beat too hard in her chest, and her terror made her nauseated. Her breath came in panicky
snatches, gulping down air in between frightened sobs.
Movement suddenly darted in front of them, and before she could react, Garrett slammed on the brakes. The car went into a skid, throwing Jenna to one side, her seatbelt locking across her chest.
She caught sight of the white flick of a deer’s tail as it made it safely across the road. The car began to slow and she breathed a sigh of relief. They hadn’t hit the deer. Despite Garrett being way over the legal limit, he’d managed to control the car.
Headlights blazed on the road, coming around the bend toward them.
Oh, shit. They were in the wrong lane.
“Garrett, move!” she screamed.
But the huge eighteen-wheeler bore down on them, not even slowing. The driver hadn’t seen the car skewed across the wrong side of the dark country road.
The headlights grew bigger and brighter in the passenger window. Jenna sat, frozen in fear, as the truck hit the car side on.
The screech of metal bending and twisting filled her ears. The white light so bright it obscured her vision.
And she knew nothing more.
***
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Acknowledgments
I know they will never read this, but I’d like to thank the band Imagine Dragons for inspiring this book. Their song Monster is what gave me the idea for this book, and I listened to it on repeat while I was writing. I’m a huge fan!
A big thank you, as always, to my editor Lori Whitwam. I hope working on Defaced was more a pleasure than a chore!
Thank you, as well, to my proofreaders, Glynis Elliott and Kim Hayes. I hope you enjoyed the story!
And, of course, thank you to my readers. You keep me writing with your loyal support and kind words. I wouldn’t be an author if it wasn’t for you!
Defaced: A Dark Romance Novel Page 21