by Melody Grace
And try not to watch Paige eat anything else.
Declan grabbed the next set of plates and rejoined them at the table again. “I’m going to have to leave you to it,” he said, hating that he was lying, but not seeing any other way. “I need to go pick up some lobster for dinner service.”
“Aww,” Eliza protested. “Are you sure you can’t stay a while longer?”
“Sorry, but shellfish doesn’t really keep. Enjoy, there’s some dessert in the fridge.” He winked, and then he made a hasty exit, before he could change his mind again.
He couldn’t be around Paige right now, not if his resolve was going to last.
But he was only halfway to his truck when he heard her voice behind him. “Wait up!” Paige said, drawing level. She smiled, looking flushed. “Are you going to Eddie’s? You can give me a ride. I came down with Cal and Eliza, and, well, they’re making googly eyes over the fish course. I figured they could use some alone time.”
Declan couldn’t say no to that. And worse, he didn’t want to. “Sure, hop in,” he said, and watched as Paige effortlessly climbed up into the passenger seat.
He put the truck in drive and turned the radio on. Paige kicked her bare feet up on the dashboard, her scarlet toenails winking at him in the sun. Declan tried to focus on the road and not the bombshell beside him, but it was impossible, especially when Paige started absent-mindedly humming along.
“Are you working this weekend?” she asked, glancing over. “It’s JamFest in Sweetbriar Cove, and I’ve heard so many wacky stories, I have to check it out.”
“I don’t know . . .” Declan said vaguely, wracking his brain for a good reason why not.
“Oh. OK.” Paige swallowed. “You could just stop by after,” she added, her expression turning flirty.
“I finish up pretty late.”
“I know.” She smiled. “I can leave the door open for you.”
Declan clenched his jaw. He could picture it already, Paige waiting for him in one of her lacy designs. Windows down, music playing, and nothing but the night ahead of them . . .
He almost missed the turn to her store and had to wrench the wheel around. “Here’s your stop,” he said, his blood pressure rising.
“So, tomorrow . . . ?” Paige leaned over and dropped a light kiss on his lips.
Dammit, he was only a man, and that kiss was his undoing.
Declan pulled her closer, savoring the taste of her and the soft feel of her body pressing against him. She nibbled on his bottom lip, and he stifled a groan.
“See you there at six?” she murmured, drawing back, and he was powerless to resist.
“I’ll be there.”
Paige broke into a brilliant smile that warmed him from the inside out. She kissed him again. “See you tomorrow!” she said, sliding down from the truck and dashing towards her store—where there were already a couple of women waiting outside.
Declan watched her go. He knew it was asking for trouble, but when she looked at him like that . . .
Trouble suddenly seemed like a good idea.
18
Paige wasn’t naïve. She knew she looked on the bright side and tried to believe the best in people, but even she knew that a man who said maybe when he should be saying yes, a man who blew off her calls, and bolted when he saw her . . . Well, that wasn’t the sign of a man tumbling head over heels in love with her.
So what was she supposed to do now?
She was half-tempted to just cancel their whole date, but maybe a part of her really was naïve, because every time she picked up her phone, she remembered the way he’d kissed her in the truck yesterday—hot and breathless, holding her tight.
She couldn’t do it. She wanted him too much, and even if he was sending signals loud and clear that he wasn’t interested in anything real, maybe unreal was still good enough. A part of her couldn’t help but cling to that kiss, the memory of his lips blazing on her skin, and the look in his eyes as he took them both over the edge.
“Oh boy,” she sighed aloud, catching sight of herself in the mirror. “You’ve got it bad.”
She tried to shake off the ominous feeling, echoing low beneath her ribcage. It was a gorgeous evening, and as she drove down to Sweetbriar Cove, Paige focused on the good things, instead. The store, her new friends in town . . .
The way Declan held her at night.
Nope!
She made the turn off the highway, and as she drove deeper into town, Paige saw that the festival was in full swing. There was ticker tape fluttering on every lamppost, bandstands set up in the town square, and crowds were gathering on the lawn.
Paige found a spot and parked, just as she saw Summer and Grayson walk by, toting a massive picnic basket and cooler. She honked on the horn, and they turned.
“Hey!” Summer beamed, as Paige got out of the car. “Welcome to the madness.”
“Uh oh,” Paige joked. “Should I have brought supplies?”
“Only an expanding waistband,” Grayson remarked, patting his stomach. “I make it a rule to taste every single jam on the menu. Of course, yours will be best,” he added to Summer.
“Thanks, babe,” she grinned. “Although, I don’t know about this one. I won the Nog-Off, and the PieStravaganza,” she added to Paige, “but jams are more a hobby than a passion, and I think Franny might have me beat with her elderflower-lime curd.”
“But are curds really a jam?” Grayson asked, and Summer laughed.
“Don’t you start, too!”
“Oh, right, honey-gate,” Paige smiled. As a newcomer, she still thought the Sweetbriar festivals were a little eccentric, but she liked how everyone got involved in the shenanigans. It was definitely more fun than bickering with her apartment-building neighbors back in Boston over who left their bicycle on the stairs. “Well, I’m looking forward to seeing everything myself. This is my first big festival in town,” she added, looking around. “I’d love to maybe get involved with next year’s event.”
“Next year? Try next month!” Summer snorted. “We’ve got the Peach-Picking Party, Classic Movie Masquerade . . .”
“The Halloween Hayride,” Grayson added.
“Plus, of course, the Starbright Winter Spectacular, and New Year’s Naked Pond Plunge,” Summer finished.
Paige laughed out loud. “You’re making that up,” she protested, looking back and forth between their mischievous expressions.
“Yes, but I bet you can’t figure out which one.” Grayson winked.
Paige fell into step with them as they headed towards the town square. Folding tables were set out on the street lining the grassy center, where the entrants were proudly showing off their preserves in bowls and jam jars on red-and-white checkered cloths. She couldn’t help stopping and taking a slice of crusty loaf bread to taste some of the offerings—including Gordon’s famous honey, which was drawing lines and audible appreciation.
“Will it be a big upset if he wins?” Paige murmured to Summer, watching the crowd.
She grinned. “Oh, no, it’s all good fun. He and Franny always battle it out over these things. Rumor has it, they had a scandalous affair twenty years ago,” she added, dropping her voice. “Apparently, he insulted her cooking, so now she makes a point of trouncing him in every food-related contest they have running.”
Paige laughed. “Well, this honey is amazing,” she said, reaching to snaffle another slice of apple and dip it in the sticky amber nectar. “I want to pour it over everything.”
“Everything, huh?” Declan’s voice came from just behind them, low and amused.
She spun around. “Hey, you made it.” Paige’s heart leapt, even as she fought to act cool. She’d been distracting herself with local gossip, trying not to search for him in the crowd, but now that he was standing right in front of her in jeans and a faded T-shirt, his usually rumpled hair now trimmed neatly, she had to admit she was relieved. A part of her had worried he’d change his mind and cancel at the last minute.
She l
eaned up and kissed him on the lips, then touched his freshly shorn hair. “You got it cut.”
“Oh. Yeah.” Declan ran his hand through it, looking sheepish. “It was so long, Caitlin insisted. She trained as a hair stylist, I guess.”
Caitlin.
Paige tried not to let her emotions show. She was sure the new hostess was a lovely person, but she couldn’t deny the pang of jealousy she’d felt watching Caitlin bat those eyes at Declan and lean in close.
Did he like flirting with her?
“Try this.” Paige forced herself to stay upbeat and passed Declan a sample of the honey.
“Mmm,” he said, looking impressed. “I might have to get this guy’s details, maybe use some of it at the restaurant.”
“You and me both!” Summer exclaimed, beside them. “It’s why I had Grayson bring the extra cooler,” she added, nodding to where her boyfriend was staking out a spot for them on the grass. “It’s empty because he knows I can’t resist picking up samples. Did you guys want to join us?” she added. “There’s plenty of room, and we brought a ton of food.”
Paige looked to Declan. He shrugged. “I . . . think we’re going to take a look around first, but thanks,” she said quickly.
“OK, see you two later!” Summer went to join Grayson, and Paige turned back to Declan.
“So, where do you want to start?” she asked, glad to have him with her. Declan looked around.
“I didn’t realize it was going to be so packed.”
“You know this town better than me,” Paige said, smiling. “They love any excuse to celebrate.”
They began strolling, and Paige realized this was their first real outing in public together. All their other encounters had been private, or under the cover of laser-quest darkness, but this evening, they were out in daylight, with the whole town to see.
That had to mean something, right?
She reached to take his hand. Declan only held it for a brief moment before releasing her to stop at another stall for a sample.
Paige tried not to read too much into his gesture. The street was crowded, and some men just weren’t a fan of public displays of affection. Paige forced herself to smile. “I’m surprised you and Summer don’t have a fierce rivalry too,” she joked.
Declan cracked a smile. “She’s not really my competition,” he said. “Don’t get me wrong, she’s an amazing baker, and her place has helped put Sweetbriar on the map. But she’s more about comfort food, cakes and pies, and I like to go crazy with my desserts.”
“Like your molten chocolate cake,” Paige said, remembering in a flash of desire. She couldn’t believe that night was only a couple of weeks ago. It felt like yesterday—and a lifetime away, all at the same time. “You still owe me,” she said, swallowing back her feelings. “I never actually got a taste.”
Declan cleared his throat. “I remember. Vividly.”
He caught her eye, and there was no mistaking the lust she saw there, an echo of her own. So why was he holding back with her, being so flaky and unpredictable?
The music started, and Paige saw their friends gathering by the bandstand. “Let’s dance,” she suggested, and was almost relieved when Declan agreed.
They headed over and joined Eliza and Cal, and Mackenzie and Jake on the makeshift dance floor. The music was too loud there to really talk, so for a while they just all enjoyed the band, dancing and drinking and shouting to be heard over the din.
Paige wanted to relax and just have fun, but a part of her kept checking over at Declan, wondering if he was enjoying himself. He seemed to be relaxing now, bobbing his head to the music as he drank a beer with the guys, but that ominous flutter in her ribcage wouldn’t shift, anxious.
When the band took their break, they all gathered over by the picnic blankets. It was a family affair on the square, with kids running around, and even Poppy was settled in some lawn chairs, rocking baby Emma in a stroller beside them.
“Is she really sleeping through this?” Paige asked, amazed. Poppy beckoned her closer and pulled back the covering to show that a huge pair of yellow noise-canceling headphones were propped over Emma’s head, dwarfing her. Paige laughed.
“What a great idea.”
“Cooper got them for me last year, to help me write while he was banging away with renovations.” Poppy grinned. “Like mother, like daughter.” She looked around, looking impatient.
“Everything OK?” Paige asked.
“Cooper went to get food, and I need to go grab something from the car.”
“I can watch her,” Paige said immediately.
“Are you sure?” Poppy asked, but she was already out of her seat. “Thank you! I’ll be right back!”
She slipped into the crowd, leaving Paige to rock the stroller. Emma’s eyes fluttered open, and she blinked up at Paige. Then her face screwed up and she opened her mouth to let out a wail.
“Oh, don’t worry,” Paige cooed. She gently scooped Emma up, still with the headphones on. “Mom will be right back.” She gently cradled the baby in her arms, bouncing her, and the wail turned into a happy hiccup. “That’s right,” Paige soothed her, carefully holding the back of her head. “Everything’s going to be OK.”
She inhaled, breathing in the scent of baby lotion and newborn as they swayed to the music. Paige smiled, loving the feel of her, precious in her arms. The longing hit her in a pang, and she couldn’t help imagining what it would feel like to be holding her own child, as instinctive as breathing to her.
Eliza would tease her for getting so broody, but Paige knew she was just wired this way. Not all women felt it, she realized that. Some of her friends craved success, or a home of their own, tended to a garden, or pets, maybe felt that same tug of possession for a creative project or relationship. But for Paige, the craving for a family had been there in her heart for years, and now, gazing down at this one, it came roaring back, louder than thunder.
Then she glanced up, and saw Declan looking at her from across the crowd. He had a stricken look on his face, like he’d just seen a nightmare right in front of him.
In that instant, Paige saw the answer she’d been afraid of, written there clearly on his handsome face.
She was the nightmare.
The thought of her with a baby, a family, was enough to make him recoil and send panic skittering into his eyes.
Paige’s heart ached.
He looked away quickly, but not quick enough. She saw the truth there; she couldn’t ignore it if she tried. The party continued around them, the band taking to the stage again and their friends dancing in the crowd, but Paige felt like they were the only two people in the whole town. Her heartbeat echoed in her ears, and she felt a rush of bitter, painful regret as she finally admitted the terrible reality that she’d been avoiding.
For all their wild chemistry, and the connection she thought they shared, it wasn’t enough.
Not enough to build a future on. Not enough to bare her heart and bet all her hopes of tomorrow. Not enough to skate along, taking things one day at a time, as if he might just possibly change his mind along the way.
There was no pretending anymore.
Paige felt it splinter through her, striking sharp and deep. She couldn’t keep falling in love with this man, knowing he could never give her what she needed. All the reckless, breathless nights in the world couldn’t make up for the heartbreak that was waiting for her when finally she hit the ground.
She had to make a choice, and she already knew the answer.
She had to choose her dream.
19
Declan needed air. The crowd closed in on him, too loud, jostling, as the music started up again and he was surrounded by happy, laughing people.
Goddammit.
He broke away, ducking through the throngs of people until he reached the edge of the square, and the crowd finally thinned out. He strode fast, turning the corner until he found himself on a quiet street and could duck back into an alleyway between the buildings to catc
h his breath.
Seeing Paige with that baby in her arms . . . His reaction had been instant. Primal. In a split second, he had seen their life together. A home, a family, hell even a white picket fence. Everything he’d sworn wasn’t in his future.
Everything he’d always told himself was a lie.
Well, he wanted it. He wanted it all, so badly he could taste it.
And with her.
Declan shook his head angrily. It was a fantasy. Hadn’t he learned the hard way that the promise of a stable, safe life like that never delivered? It only led to heartache and disappointment, being let down for the hundredth time, and hating yourself for believing it could have been any different this time.
He couldn’t do that, not to Paige. He couldn’t dangle the dream in front of her, only to fall short, the way his father always had.
He would only let her down in the end, and dammit, he would never forgive himself for being the one to make her cry.
“Declan?”
He looked up, and there she was in front of him, approaching with an uncertain expression. Paige came to a stop, a couple of footsteps away. “Hi,” she said softly, and it just about broke his heart right then and there.
“Hi,” he echoed. He clenched his fists at his sides, knowing what he needed to do, but hating every minute of it. “Look, we need to talk.”
Paige swallowed. “I know.”
“This thing . . .” Declan inhaled a ragged breath. “I think we need to cool it. Not get carried away.”
“OK,” she said, like it was fine, but her face slipped, just for a moment, and he saw the pain like an accusation in her eyes.
It cut him to the core.
“I told you from the start,” Declan said, fighting the guilt that slammed through him. “I said I didn’t make plans, or promises.”
“I know.”
“We agreed,” he continued forcefully, trying to convince himself he wasn’t the bad guy here. “This was just a fling. You looking for some adventure. You can’t just expect to change the rules and have me go along with it.”