So she dug in, and he followed suit, and for the next half-hour they ate and watched pretty much nothing on the television, until in the end the silence between them became too much and he had to break it.
‘How are the kids?’ he asked, for something to say, and she shrugged.
‘I don’t know. They were out when I rang at two-thirty.’
So that was why she was unhappy. She was missing her babies, and the nest was just too darned empty. His heart ached for her. He knew just what it felt like to be in an empty nest, and nothing was going to take that away.
Not even time. Time might take the edges off, but then you just got bruises instead of cuts. There was little to choose between them.
He was just going to have to make sure he didn’t add to her problems.
‘Coffee?’ he offered, but she shook her head.
‘No, thanks. I ought to be going. The boys might ring.’
But she didn’t get up, and the silence stretched out. ‘You could ring them from here,’ he suggested, but she shook her head, and she did stand up then, at last, picked up her bag and headed for the door.
He followed her, reached for the latch, looked down into her eyes.
Her mouth was open slightly, as if she was about to speak and had forgotten her lines, and his eyes were drawn to it. Inches. That was all it was. Just mere inches between them, and if they both leaned a little…
‘Thank you for today.’
He sucked in a breath and straightened up. ‘My pleasure.’
He opened the door, let her out and watched her drive away, then closed the door and dropped his head forwards against it.
His heart was racing, his blood pressure sky high, and if it wasn’t for the fact that he didn’t know where she lived, he’d follow her home and—
‘What? You’d what?’he said roughly. ‘Make love to her in the bed she’s shared with David for the last however long? She probably hasn’t even changed the sheets yet!’
Disgusted at himself, raging with frustration and sick with longing, he went back into the sitting room, gathered up their plates and glasses and put them into the dishwasher, then locked up the house and took Scruff for a brisk walk.
Probably too brisk.
The poor old boy limped gamely along beside him, and he slowed his pace, scratched the dog’s head and took the shortest route home.
CHAPTER FIVE
PATRICK, Annie and Katie came back at midday on Sunday, and Jack greeted them with lunch in the oven and a certain amount of trepidation. As far as he knew, Sally hadn’t told them about David, and he didn’t know how he would or even if it was his place to do so, but in the end Katie took the choice out of his hands.
They piled out of the car, looking full of energy and enthusiasm, and Katie came racing in, talking a mile a minute, her eyes sparkling. They’d spent a week at Centerparcs, just a normal family holiday followed by a couple of days with Annie’s parents, but Katie was bursting to share it.
‘It was brilliant! It had white-water rapids in the pool and I did archery and we went bowling and it was amazing! We had our own little house in the woods and bikes and there were squirrels every morning right outside—wait till I tell Alex!’ she said excitedly. ‘Mummy, can I ring him?’
‘Hey, your lunch is almost ready and, anyway, he’s out for the day,’ Jack said quickly. ‘Why don’t you phone him later, and maybe you could take Scruff out in the garden and play with him while I finish off the cooking. I reckon he’s missed you.’
‘OK!’ She bounced out of the French doors in the dining room with the dog in hot pursuit, and Jack pulled the door closed behind them and turned back to his friends. What to say? There was no easy way to do this, but they had to know so they could deal with Katie.
Patrick, though, took one look at his face and his eyes narrowed. ‘What’s happened?’
‘You might want to ring Sal,’ he said softly, directing his words to Annie. ‘David’s left her.’
Her face paled, and she turned to Patrick, her eyes filled with distress. ‘I knew there was something—Oz, did she say why?’
‘He’s moved in with his PA—Wendy.’
‘My God, she joked about it,’ Patrick said slowly. ‘Is she OK?’
He shrugged. ‘Sort of. They’re both pretty cut up for the boys, but there has to be a better reason than that to stay together. Kids can tell when things aren’t right, and if your heart’s not in it there’s no point in going on. You have to be happy, too. You have to love each other.’
‘They used to,’ Annie said. ‘I thought.’
‘Did they? Really? That wasn’t the impression I got, reading between the lines. From what little she’s said I don’t think they should ever have got married.’
Annie looked at him, looked at Patrick and shook her head. ‘No. No, you’re right. They were good friends, but there was no sparkle. They weren’t happy like us, but I didn’t think either of them was looking for that, not after…’ She shook her head again, as if she’d been going to add something but had changed her mind. ‘I need to see her.’
‘Ring her. She should be at home, the kids won’t be back till later on.’
‘Is it public knowledge?’ Patrick asked, and he nodded.
‘Sort of. She hasn’t broadcast it, but it’s a hospital. You don’t need to.’
‘No,’ Annie said drily. ‘That’s certainly true. I just wonder if the school will know, as they’re going back tomorrow.’
He shrugged. ‘You’ll have to ask her. I don’t know if she’s told them, she hasn’t said.’
‘I’ll call her now.’ Face troubled, Annie left the room, and Patrick turned to him, his eyes searching.
‘I take it this is nothing to do with you?’
He raised his hands in the air in surrender. ‘Me? How’s it possibly to do with me? The man’s fallen in love. All I’ve done is support Sal. I brought her here on Monday and let her sleep for a while on the sofa and fed her, and I fed her last night—we went to seeAlfie with the dog and then got a take-away. Apart from that and work, I haven’t spoken to her, I swear. Or touched her,’ he added with a dash of sarcasm.
Patrick’s mouth tightened. ‘I’m glad to hear it,’ he said, and Jack felt his temper flare.
‘What the hell do you take me for? The poor bloody woman’s marriage has just fallen apart!’
Patrick just arched a brow. ‘Don’t get indignant with me, Oz. It’s not as if you two don’t have history.’
‘That was years ago.’
‘And you still love her.’
His temper died down as quickly as it had flared. He looked away, rammed his hand through his hair, swallowed hard. ‘Is it that obvious?’
‘It was to me, at the wedding—when you were dancing. If you could call it that.’
Jack said something rude under his breath and stalked over to the range cooker. ‘I need to check the lunch,’ he growled, and yanked the oven door down, glaring at the leg of lamb as if it was personally responsible for his problems.
‘Anything I can do?’
‘Yes. Keep out of my way and don’t make crass insinuations.’
‘Hardly insinuations. You were damn near making love to her on the dance floor. A blind man on a galloping horse could see that.’
‘It wasn’t that bad,’ he snapped with a flicker of guilt.
‘Oh, it was. If I hadn’t been so busy dancing with my own wife I would have cut in to salvage what was left of Sally’s reputation—so tell me why I shouldn’t be concerned that you’d take advantage of this latest turn of events.’
He snorted and rammed a hand through his hair. ‘You must really think I’m a bastard.’
‘Oh, get off your high horse, Oz. When did you get so virtuous? You never used to be reticent if you wanted a woman.’
Jack slammed the oven door and spun round. ‘I was a student. I was in my early twenties—and I didn’t exactly hear them protesting. And anyway, who the hell are you to talk about behaving
in public? I can remember the way you used to carry on with Ellie.’
Patrick flinched, and he stopped, appalled at himself, and swore softly but fluently. ‘I’m sorry. That was utterly uncalled for. I’m really glad you had that time with her—you deserved it, and I’m just jealous.’
‘Jealous? Ellie died!’
‘I know—but you were great together, and when I met Sal, I thought maybe we…’ He broke off, then went on gruffly, ‘But it just didn’t happen that way, and now, seeing her again—Oh, hell. Ignore me. I’m frustrated and crabby and I just wish there was a way…’
Patrick was silent for a moment, then he said softly, ‘Lord, you really do love her, don’t you?’ Jack nodded, swallowing the lump in his throat, and Patrick reached out a big hand and rumpled his hair. Usually it annoyed the hell out of him, but this time the contact was curiously welcome. ‘I’m sorry. You’re right to be angry. I don’t know you any more. You’ve changed—we both have. And if you think this is the real deal, then you’d be crazy not to go for it. You could always stick around,’ he added, his voice casual, ‘let her get over the initial shock of David leaving—so long as you aren’t just messing her around…’
He trailed off, leaving his suggestion hanging in the air as Annie came back in and snuggled into his arms. ‘She’s OK. She’s on a late tomorrow and so am I, so we’re going to get the kids off to school and spend the morning together. It won’t get the washing done, but who cares? Sally’s much more important.’ She looked up at Jack with a thoughtful little frown. ‘She said you’d been looking after her, Oz. Thank you.’
He nearly laughed out loud. She wouldn’t be thanking him if she knew just how close he’d come last night to kissing her—regardless of what he’d just said to Patrick. He wondered if she knew that they had history. Had Sally told her? Or had Patrick? If so, she didn’t mention it, and he certainly wasn’t going to be the one to do it. Let Sally tell her tomorrow morning if she wanted her to know.
‘The lamb’s ready,’ he said, his voice a little gruff. ‘I’ll just put the veg on. Go and round Katie up.’ And he turned back to the kitchen and let Patrick’s words run through his head. If you think this is the real deal, then you’d be crazy not to go for it. You could stick around, let her get over the initial shock of David leaving—so long as you aren’t just messing her around. What then? Could they take up where they’d left off? Have a future together? And maybe even—
No. That was too much to wish for, and he was getting ahead of himself. Light years. He poured boiling water on the broccoli and cauliflower florets, took the lamb out of the oven to rest and made the gravy while the potatoes finished off. The plates were warmed in the little oven, the table was laid. All they needed was a bottle of wine or a jug of water and they were good to go.
He glanced out of the window and saw Patrick, Annie and the dog out in the garden with Katie. She was on her swing, and Jack felt a pang of regret. She was the same age as Chloe, with the same delightful open personality, and his heart squeezed with loss.
Lord, he missed her. Even though—
‘Is it ready, Oz?’ Annie called.
He nodded, and Patrick scooped Katie off the swing, giggling and squirming in his arms, and carried her into the kitchen, dumping her in front of the sink.
‘Right, wash your hands and come and sit down,’ he said, and Jack reached out to stroke her head instinctively, his fingers gliding over the baby-soft hair so like Chloe’s. She tipped her head back and smiled at him, and his heart squeezed again.
God, Patrick was a lucky man, but he’d earned his luck the hard way, and he deserved it more than anyone else Jack knew.
It was just a shame there wasn’t more to go around.
‘So what happened? It was so sudden.’
Sally shook her head. ‘Not really. It’s been coming for ages, I was just refusing to see it.’ She sat back on the sofa where she’d curled up and slept just a week ago that day, and told Annie all about it. And when she’d finished, and had wiped away the stupid, stupid tears that just wouldn’t stay put, she gave a sad little laugh.
‘I knew, really—knew in my heart of hearts about Wendy, but also right at the beginning, I knew it wasn’t right. We should never have got married.’
‘So why did you?’
‘Because I was pregnant—you know that.’
‘That’s never a good enough reason,’ Annie pointed out unnecessarily. ‘You didn’t have to marry him. You could have coped on your own. There has to be more than just security.’
‘There was more. And he’s been good to us.’
Annie nodded. ‘He has—much better than Colin. Colin lied to me for years about the gambling. At least David had the decency not to have an affair with Wendy while he was still with you.’
‘Well, so he said, and I think I have to believe him, because if you look at him now, he’s quite different and he couldn’t have hidden that. He’s happy, you know? Deep down inside. He looks like Patrick, deeply content and…not smug, that’s the wrong word, but as if every-thing’s all right in his world.’
‘And what about yours?’ Annie asked searchingly, and Sally’s heart did a little flip, because her world was in chaos and the only bright thing in it at the moment apart from her beloved boys was Jack, and she really didn’t want to go there. Not after Saturday night when he’d so, so nearly kissed her. She knew exactly where that would have ended, unless his brakes were a sight more effective than hers, and from the look in his eyes she didn’t think they would have been.
‘I’m OK,’ she said quietly. ‘And the boys say Wendy is really nice, so it’s all going to work out at that end. She’s got a little girl called Harriet, and they’ve all spent lots of time together this week, so the boys are getting to see David for the first time in ages. And at least neither of us have to have headaches at bedtime any more,’ she added lightly.
‘Oh, Sally.’ Annie reached out a hand and touched her on the shoulder, not fooled at all by her feeble attempt at humour. ‘I’m so sorry I wasn’t here for you. It must have been so awful.’
She shook her head. ‘Don’t worry, I coped, and Jack was great. He really looked after me.’
‘Patrick said…’ Annie coloured and broke off, and Sally’s heart sank. So she knew. Damn.
‘That was years ago,’ she said. Even if in her heart it still felt like yesterday. ‘And he’s been a perfect gentleman. He’s kept me focussed and busy at work, so I haven’t had time to brood, and he’s mopped me up and fed me—he’s been a real friend.’
Annie looked as if she would have said something else, but then she changed her mind, to Sally’s relief, and moved on.
‘So where will you all live?’ she asked, switching to the practical.
‘David’s at Wendy’s, and the boys and I are in the house. Well, for now. I don’t have to sell it initially, because Wendy’s is big enough for all of them at the weekends, but I don’t know if I’ll want to keep it long term. We’ve only been there a year, so I don’t have any sentimental attachment to it, and I’ve got hardly any memories of David in it because in all honesty he’s hardly even been there. So we might sell it, or we might not. I’ll have to see how we all feel a few months down the line.’
‘Good idea. There’s no rush, take your time. I was desperate to sell this house after Colin killed himself, but I was trapped in it really because of the state it was in and so I didn’t have a choice.’
‘And now?’
Annie smiled, her face softening. ‘Now I feel that it really doesn’t matter any more. It’s not the house that’s important, it’s the people. Patrick’s turned it into our home and it feels so different now, so full of love and laughter. And he’s wonderful with Katie. They just adore each other, and she’s so happy now that she won’t mind if we move, which is just as well, because—’ She broke off, colouring, then went on, ‘Oh, rats, I wasn’t going to tell anybody yet, but I can’t hide it from you, of all people. We’re having a baby.’
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br /> ‘Oh, Annie!’ She felt the hot sting of tears, and reached out her arms, hugging her friend hard. ‘Oh, I’m so pleased for you. That’s fantastic news! When?’
‘Eight months—mid-December. I’m six weeks.’
Sally pulled a face. ‘Oh, I was sick as a parrot by then with Alex. How are you doing?’
‘OK. Oz cooked us a roast yesterday and I wondered if I’d manage to eat it, but it was fine. I don’t really want to tell him yet, though. I mean, I know Patrick’s known him for years, but I haven’t, and I just wanted to hug it to myself for a bit. Well, to me and Patrick.’
‘How’s he taken it?’ Sally said, and Annie laughed.
‘He’s overjoyed—clucking round me all the time, mind you. He’s going to drive me mad, I think, but he’s so pleased it’s lovely to see. He stood over me while I did the test because he couldn’t bear the suspense. We did it while Katie was out with my parents on Saturday morning.’
‘Have you told her?’
Annie shook her head. ‘Not yet. I want to get past eight weeks, at least, in case I lose it. We’ll tell her then.’
‘I’ll keep it under wraps,’ Sally promised. ‘Oh, Annie, I’m so pleased for you—and thank you for telling me. It’s so lovely to have some good news!’
‘Thank you,’ Annie said softly, her eyes misty. ‘I just wish—oh, I don’t know. I know David’s been kind to you, but now I’m with Patrick and I know what love really is—well, I just wish you could be as happy.’
And again, unbidden, Jack popped into her mind. Jack, who had made her unhappier than anyone or anything in her life, but had also, perversely, given her the greatest joy.
‘Maybe one day,’ she said, knowing it would never happen and putting it out of her mind before she allowed herself to dream about something so impossible. She looked at her watch and stood up, summoning a bright, cheery smile. ‘Right, time to go to work. David’s got the boys after school, and they’re staying with him for the night, so don’t be surprised if he turns up with them in the morning outside the school gates.’
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