by Tawny Weber
Her eyes flew open, her body trembling as she shuddered. Her thighs shook as he moved his hips, giving her just enough room to slide one leg free. She wrapped it around his, pressing her core against his thigh and moaning.
Jack almost came.
Knowing he was too close, he slowly lifted his mouth from hers and shifted away.
As soon as he did, her hand raced down, fingers closed around his erection, squeezing as he throbbed with need.
Then, her breath coming in pants, she slid out of his arms and stepped around him. Turning, Jack’s eyes never left her.
But before he could suggest they find the bedroom, Cari crossed her arms in front of her body, her hands grasping the fabric of her dress. In one swift move, she pulled it over her head and let it fall to the floor.
Holy hell.
His mind went blank.
His body, already rock hard with need, turned to steel.
She was incredible.
Lush curves accented by slender lines, her full breasts rose over the ribbon-trimmed lace bra that matched the tiny scrap of lace between her thighs. Against the forest green, her skin seemed to glow like dimly-lit silk.
With that pixie hairstyle, her huge eyes, she was the prettiest woman he’d ever seen. Long waisted and even longer legged, she was the sexiest woman he’d ever seen.
“I want you,” she said, her words husky, her movements smooth as she skimmed her palms up the sides of her waist to cup her breasts.
Jack’s mouth watered.
He reached out, replacing her hands with his own but before he could do more than weigh those full breasts, she pushed him back.
“Strip,” she insisted. “I want you naked, now.”
Jack ripped his clothes away so fast he barely remembered to grab his wallet. He dug out the condom, but before he could slip it on, Cari took it from him.
“I’m naked and you’re not,” he pointed out, his words husky with need.
“Mmm, good point.” She took the foil wrapper between her teeth, her eyes gleaming in the dark as she reached around behind her.
Jack’s eyes locked on her chest, his breath coming faster, his pulse pounding as he waited for her bra to fall.
“Oh, baby,” he murmured when it did.
She was gorgeous.
Her fingers danced down her sides, flicking under the slender straps of her panties and with a simple twist of her hands, sent them sliding down those amazing legs.
Jack’s breath stopped.
He was pretty sure his heart was about to follow.
He wanted in there. All he could think was how much he needed to be inside of her.
He reached out, intending to grab her, to deal with protection and find his way to heaven.
But she dropped to her knees in front of him before he could.
She smoothed the condom on, her fingers like silk on his skin, her breath hot and tempting. When her hand slid lower, cupping and squeezing, Jack growled.
He yanked her to her feet, trapping her between his body and the wall.
“Now,” he demanded, teeth clenched. “I want you now.”
“Take me,” she breathed, her head falling back and her smile wickedly inviting.
He slid inside her delicate warmth.
Her feet dug into the small of his back, her body angled, her back arched. Jack slowly pressed deeper, reveling in the feel of her wet heat closing around him.
Arms braced on either side of her head, fingers digging into the wall, he plunged.
Harder.
Faster.
Deeper.
She met every thrust with a breathy moan.
Her nails dug into his shoulders, her breasts pressed into his chest, her nipples sharp and demanding against his skin.
His body so tight with need that he wasn’t sure he’d last much longer, Jack added a little twist to each plunge.
His tongue echoed the move, wrapping around hers before his teeth scraped her bottom lip. His mouth raced over her warm cheek, then he buried his face in the curve of her neck.
And bit.
“Jack,” she cried as she went over.
Unable to hold back any longer, Jack exploded in a fiery burst of pleasure. He rode the waves, one after the other, as they poured over him.
Cari’s moans were softer now. Her breath came in jerky gasps that had her breasts rubbing over him like an erotic massage. Relaxing, yet stimulating him to wonder how long it’d be before they could do this again.
And as he finally regained his own breath, he swore he heard something click. As if a lock had opened and he was, finally, home.
And he never, ever wanted to leave again.
Call to Action: Chapter Five
“You had sex how many times?”
“Six.”
Not sure if it was a good thing or a bad thing that Gina was actually goggling at her, Cari lifted the second bin and carried it to Gina’s van by herself.
Every step was an aching lesson in pleasure. Her thighs felt raw, her sex so sensitized that the feel of her panties against it was turning her on.
She set the bin in the van carefully as if it were a bomb. And waited.
One.
Two.
“Six? Seriously?” Her Doc Martens thumping down the sidewalk, Gina jammed her fists on her jean-clad hips and leaned forward to inspect Cari’s face. Whatever she saw there had her shaking her head in awe. “You are the woman. How’d it happen? I mean, I caught the heat vibes last night but I didn’t think Jack would act on them.”
“But you thought I would?”
Cari adjusted the strap of her messenger bag, trying to decide if she should be offended.
“Jack’s old-fashioned. If I’d had to guess, I’d figure even if you stripped naked and did the boogie woogie, he’d have said he didn’t do that on the first date.” Fishing the keys out of the pocket of her hoodie, Gina rounded the VW before Cari could remember if she’d danced or not.
“So?” Gina prompted when they were both strapped into the van. “I take it you like the guy. So what happens next?”
Cari blinked, her arms tightening around the messenger bag in her lap. Before she had to answer, though, Gina’s cellphone rang.
“Hang on,” she told Cari, starting the VW and pressing her Bluetooth at the same time.
Glad for the reprieve, Cari watched blindly as Gina maneuvered her way down the tight San Francisco streets.
She had no idea what would happen next. She couldn’t even let herself think about it. Because it didn’t matter what she felt about him, or how much she wanted to believe they had a future.
Because Jack had warned her.
He was leaving in three days. He was going to be a SEAL. Cari didn’t know much about what SEALs did, so she’d hit the Internet as soon as Jack left.
They were the elite.
The best of the best.
And Jack was good enough to be one of them. That made her almost giddy with pride for him.
They were covert, their missions top secret and often at the behest of the President himself.
And Jack would be living that dangerous life to protect their country, with much of it in the dark. That terrified her, for him and for herself. How did a woman live with never knowing? Where he was, what he was doing, if he was even alive.
Her head hitting the backrest with a thump, Cari closed her eyes against the images.
Did relationships survive that kind of pressure?
Moot question for her, she reminded herself as she pressed her eyes tight against the burning tears.
They didn’t have a relationship.
Which only made it that much worse that she was pretty sure that she was in love with him.
* * *
“Come again?”
Sprawled on the guy’s couch nursing a nasty headache, Jack wished Rico would quit making him repeat himself. Every time he said the words out loud, it felt like a knife to the gut.
“Look, all I’m doing is tak
ing a break to think about things. Don’t make it into a big deal, okay.”
“You don’t want me making a big deal out of the fact that you’re walking away from something you’ve worked your ass off for? Dude, we’re talking about your dream of joining the SEALs.” Rico scrubbed his hands over his face, then shook his head. “Nope. It’s not making sense.”
“First, all I’d be doing is rescheduling my report date for SQT so I have time to consider a few things. Second, if I decide not to continue, I wouldn’t be walking away from the dream.” Not completely. “Just postponing it.”
“If you DOR, there’s no guarantee you’ll have a second shot,” Rico pointed out.
“Life never comes with guarantees.” Jack pushed to his feet. But a lack of a guarantee was one thing. Screwing himself over was another. And a Discharge on Request wasn’t looked on favorably, especially not in his circumstances.
“Dude, just think it through. BUD/S requirements are steep enough. There are a hell of a lot of guys lining up to try to get in.” Rico paused, then with a grimace that told Jack he wasn’t going to like what was next, continued. “You’ll have to wait, what? Two years? Not saying you’re gonna be old, man. But it’s one thing going up against twenty-four year olds when you’re twenty-six. But doing it at twenty-eight?”
Rico’s low whistle came with a pitying shake of his head that made Jack want to thump him. All he could do, though, was take another swig of beer and sigh. Because Jack had been right. He didn’t like what Rico had had to say, even if it was one-hundred-percent true.
“I’ve got feelings for Cari,” he admitted quietly, dropping back to the couch. Rico’s wince amused him a little, even as it validated the miserable tightness across his neck at talking about this sort of thing. “I don’t know what the feelings are, or where it’ll go with us. But I can’t just walk away and not find out.”
“You can’t just throw everything away, either,” Rico pointed out. But his words had an edge this time, bringing them in somewhere between worried and puzzled.
Jack shrugged it off.
He was doing the right thing.
That’s why he’d come by, to hear Rico tell him exactly that.
He couldn’t give one hundred percent if he was leaving a piece of himself behind. And he couldn’t walk away. Not from Cari. Not now that he’d had her. Not after what they’d shared over the last few days.
Gut tight, he got up again to pace from one end of Rico’s apartment to the other. Would he be able to return? He’d never questioned his career before, never doubted the choices that he’d made. He was good, damned good, at what he did. He’d figured he’d get even better by joining the best.
Setting the beer he’d had one swig of on the coffee table, he got to his feet.
“Where are you going?” Rico demanded when he headed for the door.
“To see Cari.”
“Whoa, hold up.” Rico shot to his feet. “The two of you just met. Keep that in mind or you’re gonna scare her off.”
That made Jack pause, but only for a second. He wasn’t going to say anything stupid. He just wanted to see her again. Maybe whatever he was thinking he felt would be gone today. It hadn’t been yesterday, but hey, Tuesdays were different.
“I’ll talk to you later,” he tossed over his shoulder on his way out.
This sucked.
Scowling, Rico watched Jack leave, the sound of the door echoing painfully in his wake. He gave it another few seconds, then pulled out his cellphone.
He didn’t bother with a greeting.
“We’ve got a problem.”
Call to Action: Chapter Six
“Honestly communicating your needs is key in any relationship, but even more so when it involves sex.” Feeling like a jerk, Cari made her smile as bright as she could. She was such a hypocrite for telling these sweet old people to do things she’d discovered she was afraid to do. “So your task for the next week is to examine your conversations. Ask yourself if you’re being as truthful as you can be.”
As she wound up the session, Cari had to wonder. Did it still make her a hypocrite if she was perfectly aware of the fact that she’d been lying her ass off for the last week? At least she was lying to herself, not to Jack. That was better. Wasn’t it? Or was it?
Jack had put off his departure for Southern California, so they’d spent most of the last five days together, and only part of that time had been spent having sex. The rest had been spent talking. Sharing, discussing, comparing. There was an intensity to their conversations that felt as if they were trying to share their every thought with each other, and a familiarity that made her feel as if that wasn’t even necessary. It was as if they’d known each other forever, so the discussions were just a reminder of what they already knew.
Cari had never felt as close to anyone, ever.
Hence, the lie.
That everything was just fine, and she was perfectly okay with the fact that it’d be ending tomorrow.
As she wrapped up the group session, she noticed Gina in the back corner, looking as if she were trying to be unobtrusive. Given that the woman had added purple to the pink tips of her silver hair and teased it into a modified beehive, Cari figured unobtrusive was a lost cause.
She said her goodbyes, helping Mrs. Patrillo steer her mobility scooter through the chairs and handing Mr. Martin his tape recorder. By the time she’d helped each of her dozen clients to the door, Gina was pacing so fast her beehive was in danger of falling.
“Hey Gina,” she said, joining her at the back of the room. “Is everything okay?”
“Okay?” Her sober expression at odds with her white go-go boots, the other woman frowned, then shrugged. “Not really. Or maybe. I’m not sure.”
“Okaay,” dragging the word out, Cari stared for a long moment. Shaking her head, she began folding chairs and setting them in the corner. And she’d thought she was confused?
“Jack’s quitting the SEALs,” Gina blurted out.
“He’s what?” Cari dropped the chair she’d just folded, the metal clanging painfully on her booted foot. “No, he just put off moving to Coronado for a few days. He’d planned to spend some time there getting acquainted with the area but said he could do that just fine after he was living there.”
“No. He’s thinking about dropping out of training, of not being a SEAL at all.”
Cari gripped the chair so hard, she was surprised the metal didn’t bend.
“You’re kidding, right?”
Her emotions were flying through her system so fast, Cari could barely tell what they were. Thrill and fear fought with joy. While excitement, love and misery were spinning in the opposite direction.
“Why would he do that?” she asked faintly, gathering the last two chairs and setting them with the others. “Being a SEAL is his dream. He’s not going to walk away from that.”
“But if he finishes training and becomes a SEAL, he’ll be pretty much walking away from everything else,” Gina pointed out. “I mean, it’s hard enough trying to make a relationship work when one of you is in the service. But a relationship with a SEAL? One who’s just starting out? That’s intense.”
Cari opened her mouth but nothing came out.
So she tried again.
“But we don’t have a relationship.” At least, they weren’t supposed to. That’s what she’d taken Jack’s warning to be that first night. And she’d accepted it, dammit. Yes, she’d mourned and whined and cried in her head, but she’d called that part of the process. Because in her heart, she’d accepted that this was it. This little window was all she’d get with Jack, and she’d agreed to that. Hell, she’d begged for it.
But now...
“Why would he do this?” she murmured
“Rico said Jack’s doing it because he, well...” Gina bit her lip. “Because he has feelings for you.”
“Feelings?”
Now her head was spinning twice as fast. Or maybe it was the room. She had to sit down. Since the
chairs were already folded, Cari settled for the floor.
“Cari? Aren’t you glad Jack has feelings for you?” Gina ventured hesitantly.
“Like, what? Resentment?” She threw her hands in the air. “Because if that’s not on his list of feelings yet it will be soon after he throws away his career.”
“He’s doing it because he cares about you,” Gina said pointedly, looking like Cari was deliberately missing the point.
But she wasn’t.
She knew exactly what the point was.
That Jack might be falling in love with her.
But if he did this, if he gave up his dream career for her, that love would never have a chance.
“I need to talk to Jack.” Cari pushed to her feet, smoothing her skirt as she looked at the clock.
“You have another coaching session in twenty minutes,” Gina pointed out, her tone only a little frantic as Cari gathered her purse and messenger bag.
“You take it.” Hurrying past, Cari tossed the leather messenger bag toward Gina. “Show them that new display of stained glass penises. Have them help you uncrate deliveries. Call it an Enlightenment Session. I’ll pay you, I’ll refund them.”
Something, she thought as she sprinted out of the gallery. She had to do something.
Because she loved Jack too much to see him throw his career away.
Call to Action: Chapter Seven
Jack sat in the corner booth of the quaint coffee house he’d visited a handful of times when he’d drive up to the wine country for in-person consults with his mentor. A few years back, when Jack had started thinking seriously about the SEALs, he’d contacted Professor Kendall. He wanted to talk to someone who could give him insights into the reality of his dream. The Professor had taught Jack in school and had been the closest he’d known personally to someone who had family in the SEALs. But the Professor had upped the game, calling in his son-in-law to mentor Jack. For two years, Aiden had guided Jack, had listened and advised. And now Jack was about to pay him back by walking away.