With Audrey being dead, Francesca felt like she could finally breathe; finally live a rather normal life even though she had been diagnosed with AIDS. But even her AIDS diagnosis wasn’t scary to Francesca anymore. She’d been following the advice of the village doctor.
Overall, she had started feeling better. She had learned so much from their trip to Honduras. For a long time she didn’t quite grasp the difference in being HIV positive and having AIDS. Now she understood that HIV meant she had the virus and could pass it on to others like her darling husband, Tim. But the two of them practiced safe sex and believed in the power of God to protect Tim. As for being diagnosed with AIDS, Francesca also learned AIDS was not a single disease, but it was comprised of a variety of diseases that was caused by reduced immunity. In simpler terms, she was more likely to develop opportunistic infections. But she was a fighter, and was determined not to give up on her battle against the virus. She was following the program suggested to her by the self-proclaimed doctor and was determined to follow whatever regimen possible in order to strengthen her ability to fight off infection and restore her immune function.
She had come to the realization since meeting Tim that she really wanted to live. Her faith in God had increased a hundred fold. Every day she quoted Psalm one eighteen verse seventeen that she kept pinned on her master bathroom mirror: “I will not die but live, and will proclaim what the LORD has done.’ She was more in tune with her body and making herself whole again. She wanted to prepare herself to have a family.
Tim and Francesca had approached the subject of having children. It was one of the main reasons for Tim’s decision to move out of Newbern and settle in Jackson which was closer to family and friends. Plus, their church was in Jackson too.
Everything was falling into place for Francesca and Tim. Life couldn’t be better – until Stiles told Francesca about Audrey and Pastor.
Francesca listened to Stiles as he sat on the sofa holding a now sleeping Baby Audrey. He slowly and deliberately gave her the details of his findings and shared Pastor’s reaction about the whole situation. Francesca felt like she’d been punched dead square in the gut after listening to Stiles.
“I don’t want to hear anymore,” she suddenly screamed, waking up Baby Audrey who started screaming too. Francesca covered both ears, stood up and limped as fast as she could out of the room.
Detria’s mouth flung open and Stiles looked stunned as he passed the crying baby to Detria and stood up like he was going to go after Francesca.
Tim stopped him by jumping up and positioning himself in front of Stiles. Tim, though inches shorter than Stiles, appeared larger than life. His anger was obvious. “So this is what you came up here to do. You just had to come up here and upset my wife, didn’t you, Stiles?” Tim shouted as he stood toe to toe with Stiles. He had listened with trepidation to Stiles as he told Francesca about Pastor and Audrey, the rape, and the way she was conceived.
“I want you out of here,” Tim ordered pointing toward the other direction that would lead outside. “Get out of here now,” he yelled above crying Audrey. Detria grabbed hold of the diaper bag and swiftly turned and walked toward the front of the house.
“Let’s go,” she said. “Let’s go now,” she said again. “You’ve done enough here.”
Stiles looked at her like she was crazy but he followed behind her. As soon as they made it outside, Stiles felt the wind of the steel door against his back as Tim slammed it shut.
“Guess you’re happy now, huh?” Detria mocked. “You’ve managed to totally alienate your one and only sister. I knew in my gut that this was a bad idea. I just knew it was,” she repeated as she roughly strapped Baby Audrey in her car seat.
Stiles didn’t say a word. His fury could be seen in the twitch of his jaw line and the deep crease in his forehead.
They got in the car. Stiles turned the ignition, put the car in reverse before turning and speeding down the secluded street lined with magnificent dogwood trees.
Neither of them said a word for at least ten minutes. Stiles drove , his jaw still flinching as he thought about how disastrous his visit had turned out. He looked at the clock on the console. “You want to stop here?” he asked as he pulled into a Chick fil-a restaurant. "You can get you a salad or fruit cup."
“Don’t bother. I’m not hungry. I just want to go home. I hope you realize the damage you’ve done, Stiles.”
“Look, don’t start with me, Detria,” he yelled.
“I did what I thought was best. I knew she would be upset but I had no idea she would take it as hard as she did. You act like I wanted to see my sister hurt.”
“Well?” Detria shot back.
“Well, what? You know I’m sick of you and your negativity. Where is the supportive, kind, loving woman I first met? Where is she, Detria?”
“Shuuu, I could ask you the same question. Where is the sweet, sensitive, considerate and loving man I met? I sure don’t see any traces of him now.”
Stiles turned the car around and headed back out into traffic and on to the interstate. He didn’t stop driving until he made it back home to Memphis. So much for spending quality time with his wife and daughter.
He rubbed his head back and forth. Lord, I need to hear from you. I need to hear a rhema word from you real bad. Real bad and real fast.
◊
Tim tapped on the door to their bedroom before opening it and walking inside. Francesca lay quietly, curled up in a fetal position. Tim listened to her cries. He felt her pain. Walking over to the bed, he slowly sat down, planting himself behind Francesca.
With tenderness he began massaging her back in a circular motion as he leaned down and kissed the side of her face.
“Baby, I’m so sorry. If I had known he was coming up here to tell you the mess he did, you better believe he never would have stepped foot in this house. I’m so sorry, so sorry,” he continued.
Francesca continued to weep, something she would never do if she was still living the life of the old Francesca. Crying to her was a sign of weakness and she wasn’t weak by any means. But with Tim, she could be totally open and exposed. She turned toward him and buried her face against his thigh while he stroked her hair and wiped away her tears.
“Why? How? Tim, I’m nothing am I? Nothing,” she said again.
“Don’t say that, sweetheart. You know better than that. You’re a beautiful woman. I love you and nothing, and I do mean nothing Stiles said, or anything Pastor did can change that. All of that stuff he came up here with is junk. It means nothing.”
Francesca looked up, her eyes already swelling from crying so hard. “But it does mean something, Tim. It means a whole lot. What is it with me? Why do people seem to want to hurt me over and over again? And Audrey, why did she listen to Pastor? Why didn’t she just kill me like she wanted to do in the first place? Then I wouldn’t be going through all of this. I’m tired, Tim. I can’t fight anymore.”
Tim caressed her chin. “Yes, you can. You’re a fighter and you know it. I don’t know why Stiles felt he had to tell you the stuff he did. I don’t know why your father imposed his opinions on Audrey. And I don’t know why Audrey felt like she couldn’t stand up against him. All I know is that I’m so glad she didn’t abort you. I’m so glad you’re here. I know you’ve been through a lot, Francesca, and I can’t begin to tell you how sorry I am for all the pain you’ve endured throughout your life. But I can say that I’m so grateful I found you. So grateful we found each other.” He grabbed hold of Francesca by the shoulders and gently lifted her up toward him until she was face to face with him. He kissed her first gently and then with full force. “I love you. I love you so much,” he said as he pulled away and looked into her tear filled eyes. “I promise, I‘ll never let him near you again. I’ll never let them hurt you again.”
They embraced and Francesca finally took a deep breath and then slowly, she exhaled.
“I love you, Tim.”
“I know you do. Now why don’t you
lay on down. I’ll go make us some breakfast and then I’ll bring your morning meds. How about that?”
Francesca nodded.
Tim stood up and then before leaving he bent down and kissed Francesca on the top of her head. “I’ll be back.”
Francesca balled back up in a knot. As she replayed everything Stiles had told her, her hurt turned into a slow evolving ember of fire. Why her? Why did it always have to be her that people wanted to hurt?
Francesca decided that she had to talk to Pastor for herself. She had to hear his explanation. She turned over and reached for the landline. She wanted to call Pastor but she remembered she didn’t know his number. Maybe that’s a sign that I need to see him face to face. I want to see the look on his face when he tells me what really happened.
She got up and walked into the kitchen where Tim was making preparations to cook, something else he loved to do.
“Hey, you. I thought I told you to lie down and rest,” he said when he saw his wife enter their industrial styled kitchen.
“I want to go to Memphis, Tim.”
Tim stopped doing what he was doing and looked at his wife. “Memphis? For what?”
“I need to see Pastor,” she said before turning and walking away.
19
“What you need to know about the past is that no matter what has happened, it has all worked together to bring you to this very moment. And this is the moment you can choose to make everything new. Right now.” Unknown
Her period was late, and she felt bloated and cranky. Could I be pregnant? What if I am? Will my baby have herpes? She drove to the Walgreens on the corner to purchase a pregnancy test kit. No need in getting Robert excited if it’s a false alarm.
She wanted a child with Robert so badly, and he was down with the idea of having another child too. When the test came back with a positive reading, she was both nervous and happy.
When she told Robert about the test results he was elated. He reassured her that no matter what, he would be by her side, and everything would be just fine.
“Make an appointment, and let’s make sure the test you took is right. I can’t believe I’m going to be a father again.”
“Oh, Robert, I can’t believe it. What if I really am pregnant?” she gasped with excitement fully evident in her voice.
“God knows we’ve been trying,” Robert said and burst into laughter.
“You are so crazy,” Rena remarked. “I’ll call Dr. Elmore today to see when I can get in to see her.”
“Good, you do that,” Robert told her and pat her on the butt.
◊
“The test was definitely right,” Dr. Elmore informed Rena as she sat on the exam table.
“Oh, my gosh. I’m pregnant. I’m really, really pregnant. Robert, oh, Robert.” She extended her arms, and Robert stood up and walked into them.
“Yes, we are going to have ourselves a little one,” he said and hugged her.
“Doctor, is my baby going to be okay? I mean you know with me...”
“With her having herpes, how can it affect our child,” Robert finished.
“I don’t want you to worry about that,” Dr. Elmore told the couple. “I’m telling you, Mrs. Becton that your baby is likely to be absolutely fine. Since you already had herpes before you got pregnant, and you say you’ve had it for a few years, your body has had time to make antibodies to the virus, and that immunity is passed to the baby while he or she,” she said and smiled, “is growing on the inside of you. “That’s not to say that you won’t incur outbreaks during your pregnancy because it’s possible that you will.”
Rena’s smile turned into a straight face. “But I haven’t had an outbreak in over a year?”
“I understand, and that’s great, but I still have to inform you of the possibility. You have every reason to be ecstatic, Mrs. Becton. You can still give birth to a normal, healthy, uninfected baby, as long as certain medical precautions are taken. So, I want you to take your prenatal vitamins, and I’m also writing you a prescription for nausea too. Eat healthy and I’ll see you in a month. Until then, enjoy being pregnant.”
Rena and Robert left Dr. Elmore’s office with huge grins on their faces.
“I can’t believe it, Robert,” she said with excitement resonating off each word she spoke. “We’re pregnant. I’m pregnant,” she said and pointed at herself before she stopped on the sidewalk and planted a whopping kiss on Robert’s lips.
He in turn picked her up and twirled her around. “Didn’t I tell you that everything was going to be all right?” he said when he stopped twirling her. “Wait until the kids hear about this. They’re going to be happy as can be.”
“Uh, I don’t know. They might be jealous.”
“Please, you know how much they love playing with each other, not to mention they’re like the ultimate social butterflies, “he teased.
“Yes, you’re right. Oh, Robert I can’t wait to tell everybody. I’m so happy. God has smiled down on me, on us. And I promise you that I’m going to do everything I can to make sure we do have a happy, healthy baby. Any and everything Dr. Elmore tells me to do, I’m doing.”
They got in the car and Robert, before turning the ignition switch, took hold of her hand and pressed a kiss in her palm. “You have made me the happiest man in the world once again.”
Rena eased back against the passenger window. “Uh, what do you mean by once again,” she asked him all while a smile formed on her face.
“Well, you made me happy when I first laid eyes on you. I thought you were the most beautiful woman on the face of the earth. The second time was when you agreed to marry me and now the third time is definitely the charm because you’re having my baby. Now, are you satisfied?”
“Yes. Very,” she answered as her heart swelled with joy.
◊
“You sure you want to do this?”
“Very sure. If I don’t do it now, I might not ever do it. I want to hear it for myself,” Francesca told Tim as they drove along Interstate 40 West toward Memphis.
“You know I can still turn around. I don’t want you putting yourself through unnecessary pain, Francesca. Plus, you know and I know that we have to take every precaution to keep you well. And added stress is definitely not good.”
“Will you stop it, Tim? I’m not stressing. I’m anxious, maybe, but not stressed. All I want to do is hear the truth straight from the horse’s mouth and not from Audrey’s male clone.”
“Male clone? That’s a little biting don’t you think?” Tim asked and sneaked a quick peek at his wife before returning his attention to the road.
“Nope. It’s the truth. That’s exactly what he is.”
Tim shrugged his shoulders. “Okay, whatever you say.” He continued driving, taking his time to watch the other drivers who seemed to be in a hurry to get to wherever they were going.
Francesca turned up the radio when she heard her one of her all time favorite R&B songs. She loved all types of music including some rap, although contemporary gospel was her favorite. But today, she wanted to listen to something that would keep her pumped and Beyonce’s Love On Top fit the bill to a tee. She started singing along and poking Tim in the side at the same time. “Baby, it’s you,” she sang. “You’re the one I love. You’re the one…” she sang and kept poking him.
“All right now. Sing it, girl. Sing it to daddy.” Tim laughed.
“Whoa, did you just call yourself ‘daddy’?” Francesca started laughing uncontrollably, leaning all against the car door.
“What’s wrong with that? You don’t think I fit the bill or something?”
“Boy, please.”
They continued laughing and talking along the way. Tim was glad to hear his wife’s laughter instead of listening to her crying over in the night like she’d been doing ever since Stiles’ visit the week before. Stiles had called several times after then, but Tim refused to allow him to talk to Francesca. In Tim’s eyes Stiles had done enough damage already, and he
was determined not to allow Stiles or anyone else to hurt his wife again.
Tim really did not want to drive Francesca to Memphis, but she had hounded him so that he thought it was better to bring her than have her sitting around the house moping and crying. He had prayed about it and came to the conclusion that it was better if she talked to Pastor and maybe then she would find some closure. He wanted her life to be as peaceful as possible knowing that her health could take a drastic and deadly turn at any time. She was a trooper, a real trooper but Tim was realistic too. One little sneeze or a cold could turn into a death call for Francesca so he was protective over her and watched her like a hawk.
It was one of the reasons he had gone back to school shortly after they got married. He wanted to be able to provide a good life for his wife but he also wanted to have a job that would allow him to work from home most of the time. He’d achieved those things. His job as a web designer was flexible, and he enjoyed being his own boss. Like his father, he prided himself on being an entrepreneur. He had attended and finished ITT Tech and became proficient in website design, and was now making a pretty lucrative income all from the comfort of the home he shared with Francesca.
“Do you want to stop somewhere and get a bite to eat?” he asked Francesca who had stopped singing and was laid back in the slightly reclined front seat.
“I’m good. But if you want to stop somewhere, go ahead. I know you didn’t eat much lunch.”
“No, I’m good too. We have some granola bars in that bag on the back seat. I put one of your fruit cups in there too.”
My Sister My Momma My Wife Page 13