“Who’s fucking what up?” came Malia’s voice as she walked back into the room.
“Just telling Deano that he should take Charmayne on a date.” Dean gave me his death stare while Malia looked at me liked I’d shit on her pizza. She thought Charmayne was just as much of an airhead as I did.
“Keeping her keen,” he replied, desperate to save face and still be the player he portrayed. “Anyway, Mom says you’re to stay here in our spare room tonight.”
Now it was Malia’s turn to give out a death stare. “You called her?”
“No,” he lied.
“You fucking did. You called her and told her I was home alone.”
“No, I didn’t, Kevin. She’s at the same function as your mom.”
That was all he needed to say. If she protested anymore, she’d be forced to discuss how pissed her mom was when she’d called and that instead of coming home to take care of her teenage child, she was getting wasted before probably getting laid.
I didn’t know what it was about the house in the middle, but both kids who lived there had no luck with parents. Cody’s dad had died and now Malia’s mom was acting like she was living in some college sorority house.
“Guess. I’ll get my stuff.” This time she walked out, and I heard the front door close behind her.
Fuck.
This was really happening.
Malia was going to sleep under the same roof as Dean, in the bedroom next to his, where he’d be wearing nothing and wouldn’t need his fucking wank mags, because he had real live erotic material just a few feet away.
Thinking about her asleep didn’t do anything to calm my mood. I knew she’d be wearing something cute and short, and Dean, the creepy, hormone addled fucker, wouldn’t be able to resist.
“I need to go.” I stood up immediately.
Pizza boxes were pushed aside hastily as I folded books into a pile.
“What?”
I ignored him and carried on.
“Reef?”
“Remember what we said. She needs a friend not a fuck.” And then I stormed out before I said something really stupid or did something worse like punch the shit out of my best friend and then burn the fucking world to the ground.
The next morning, I was up early for my surf, really early. I hadn’t slept a wink and I needed to work off some of the restlessness I couldn’t shake off. The sun had just come up and the water was a little colder than most mornings.
But it was peaceful.
If I turned my back on the houses, the sun and the shoreline, there was nothing in front of me, just shades of blue.
Blue sky.
Blue sea.
The only thing that changed in the picture was the surface of the water as the waves came again and again. I lay back on my board and felt the motion of the water underneath me as I bobbed up and down. I was so out of sorts, and I hated that feeling of uncertainty and insecurity that came with it.
When a wave lapped up and onto my body, it reminded me of why I was there and I sat up, paddled to a place where I anticipated a wave rolling through, and waited. The rush of motion hit, and I went with it, getting my body and board to place where I could stand up and feel the freedom of surfing.
Thirty minutes later I saw my two friends walk across the sand and hit the water.
I couldn’t explain it, but the nervousness not only returned, but it felt heavier the closer they got. They’d spent a night sleeping in the same house. That gave them a connection and set me adrift from them. I had become a third wheel.
“Hey,” Malia greeted as she paddled closer on her board before coming to a stop close to me.
“Yo!” Dean hollered as he paddled on by and went for the first wave he saw coming his way.
Malia was in her signature surf gear of the bottom half of a two-piece and a rash vest. Her hair was piled high on her head and I missed the way it hung around her shoulders when it was wet. She still smelled of fucking lemons, and like some kind of weirdo, I wondered if the bedsheets in Dean’s spare room now smelled of them.
“How was your night?” I asked out of necessity for conversation rather than any real desire to know.
“Comfy. Although, he snores like a fucking power saw.” My face fell and Malia was quick to clarify her words when she saw it. “It penetrates brick walls.”
“Camping was never fun. Cody and I would wake up and wonder whether we’d heard a bear grunting or him.”
She snorted. “At one point, I woke up and wondered why his mom was doing laundry at three in the morning.”
“What’s up?” Dean finally came to join the conversation.
“Malia just confirmed you still snore.”
“I do not!”
“Yeah, you do,” she argued. “Next time, I’m going to smother you with a pillow.”
“And I look forward to next time, although that goes both ways.”
“I don’t snore.” Malia looked horrified.
All I could do was stand by and watch them share humor over something I’d not been a part of.
I fucking hated it.
I was jealous over being left out.
“You don’t snore, but you whimper. It’s kinda cute.”
She looked horrified. “Did you come into my room?”
Dean, being Dean, waggled his brow. “You’ll never know, but let’s just say if your nightdress was any shorter then there’d be no point wearing one.” He raced off towards a wave.
“Fucker.” She snorted. “He didn’t come into my room. I slept in pajamas.”
The relief I felt was insane.
“How was your night? You were gone before I came back.” Malia was still floating beside me.
“Uh, yeah, I had stuff to do,” I told her, coming out of my mental stupor. “I’m gonna head in. I’ve been out for a while. See you at the bus stop.”
I lay my body flat on my board and motored back to the shore. When my feet were close enough to touch the sandy seabed, I ditched my board and took one look back at them. Dean had stopped surfing and was sat talking to her like I’d been only moments ago.
Stone cold reality clawed its way up my throat, choking me.
I wanted Malia.
I wanted to be her boyfriend.
I was jealous of the connection she’d forged overnight with Dean.
But I’d made a promise with my best friend and it was ‘bros before hoes’.
Reef
“Don’t forget our game tonight,” Dean shouted after her as Malia walked off to one of the few classes we didn’t have together.
She spun back around to face us. “Like you’d let me forget.”
While he was intent on throwing words at her retreating figure in front of the other kids in the hallway, I was content to watch the swish and sway of the short skirt she had on. I got to stare at her sculpted thighs at least twice a day when we were in the ocean, but there was something different about seeing it here, now, in our normal world.
In this moment we weren’t friends who surfed. Right now, she was a hot as fuck girl, wearing a skirt that made my fingers itch to push it higher and see what was underneath. They say that you always want the things you can’t have… and they’re fucking right.
“If you became a cheerleader, you’d have no choice but to come watch me do my thing,” Dean shouted after her. Without turning around, she flipped him the bird. “And I’d get to see up your skirt and maybe get a glimpse of that pussy,” he mumbled.
With my jaw slack, I turned to him. “Did you really just say that shit?”
“Hey, you fooled me into agreeing she was off limits, but she stars in a lot of my private fantasies.”
I walked off, the desire to punch him strong once again.
“Pass the fucking ball!” I screamed at Mikey who was a show boater. It wound me the fuck up. He usually did some shit ass move he’d learned on YouTube, which resulted in the other side taking possession of the ball.
As predicted, they took possessi
on, passed through the middle of our defense and scored to go level. “You fucking idiot,” Dean yelled.
The referee was already running back to the center circle to restart play. I glanced over to the sidelines and spotted something that made my stomach roll.
Jace Skrup, one of our subs, was not where he should be on the subs bench paying attention to the fucking game. He was stood off to the side of the bleachers, leaning way too close to Malia. So close that only an idiot would miss the intimacy. Jace was a player. He rivaled Dean in that respect, and I felt my blood boil when he picked up one of her curls and tucked it behind her ear. I still wasn’t where I should have been on the field when the ref blew to restart play.
Rushing into position, I still hadn’t got a grip on my anger and when I saw one of their players come at me with the ball, I went straight for him—not the ball, him.
I poleaxed him without a thought, and he went to the ground. The ref did the only thing he could do; showed me a red card. It was a two footed, dangerous tackle.
I stormed off the field, coach ignoring me, and headed straight to the shower block, passing Malia and Jace on the way.
Halfway down the hallway, I heard footsteps. “What happened?” she asked as she fell in line beside me.
“Got sent off.”
“What for?”
“If you’d been watching, you’d know,” I snapped, and slammed my hand against a locker as I passed.
Malia didn’t stop as I walked into the men’s changing rooms.
“Don’t take your shit out on me.”
I pulled my top over my head before kicking my boots off. “You shouldn’t be in here.” I sat on the bench, slumped forward and prayed for some level-headed mercy to find me.
“It smells like ass in here.” She sat down next to me.
“There are often a lot of asses in here, me included. I didn’t mean to bite your head off.”
“This is why I don’t play sports.” She crossed one leg over the other and that sexy skirt wisped on her suntanned skin.
“You do play sports.”
“Phys-ed at this place doesn’t count. I just turn up, bum around and will time to pass quickly.”
I leaned back against the wall, the tile cold on my sweaty body. “You surf.”
“That’s more like an escape. If I don’t get to be on the water my brain doesn’t work properly.”
I knew how she felt.
“What’s really going on, Reef? You’ve been out of sorts for a while now.”
The temptation to tell her everything, to cut myself open and spill my guts for her, was strong. I could sit here and tell her that I’d never felt the way I felt about her for another person. I could tell her that if I didn’t see her every day, multiple times a day, my heart felt like it might expire. I could try to explain that I was jealous of her friendship with Dean, something that I didn’t have, and I didn’t have a fucking clue how to get it.
But I didn’t say any of that.
Because I had an agreement with my best friend. Because Malia needed us in her life. We were her normality, her stability. Because I couldn’t bear it if we took that away and broke her.
“Nothing is going on. I’m just a moody dick at times and I get stuck in my own head.”
“You sure that’s all it is?” She put her hand on my knee and her touch felt electric.
Malia looked at me, her face full of… something. There was definitely expectation. She wanted me to trust her. My brain, however, convinced me that she was testing the waters and she was after something else, too.
Something I wanted so desperately and couldn’t act on.
I took a deep breath. “I’m sure. Although Jace Skrup is a fucking dog.”
She pulled her hand off my knee like I’d burned her. Our eyes connected before she answered. “None of your business.”
Malia’s tone was curt, and I was back to being pissed off again.
“It’s my business if my friend is about to make a mistake.”
I heard the mumbled word “Friend” drop from her lips and not in a pleasant way as she got to her feet. “Right now, I’ve got more friends than I’ve ever had, and I need a different type of friend.”
Her words and eye contact removed any misunderstanding about what she meant, and I felt my mouth turn dry. “Malia, I…” I stumbled. “I… we… fuck!” I stood up this time, toe to toe with her. The scent of lemons assaulted me as I felt the flimsy material of her skirt touch my thighs. “We can’t,” I whispered in pain.
“You mean you can’t. Friends it is.”
Malia turned and walked off, leaving me.
What the fuck had I just done?
The girl I wanted dropped some seriously big fucking hints and I passed. I passed in favor of my friendship with her and Dean.
Forty-five minutes later, I heard the final whistle go. I had no idea what the final score was, and I hadn’t moved, showered or changed.
The rush of voices became louder the closer the lads got to the changing rooms.
“What the fuck was all that about?” Dean hurled his shin pads at his gym bag on the floor. I wasn’t sure whether he was talking to me or bitching about the team and result in general.
“How many did we lose by?”
“Four fucking goals. Enough with the trick shots.” He turned on Mikey. “You wanna play keepy uppy, do it somewhere else.”
“Fuck you, man,” Mikey barked back.
I was about to head for the shower when Jace wandered in, looking like the cat who’d got the cream.
“That’s a fine smile for a man who didn’t actually kick a fucking ball today,” Dean barked at him like he was our captain, which he wasn’t. The soccer captain was still on the field probably getting his ass kicked for our shabby performance.
“Got me a date.” He smirked.
I froze with my back to them all; my foreboding about what he was about to say was real.
“Haven’t you fucked every available hole in this place already?” Dean asked, pulling a towel from his bag.
“Not quite. But I’m looking forward to feeling those curls between my fingers when she swallows me deep.” He grabbed his crotch and grunted.
“Fuck! No way, Jace. You finally scored the Hawaiian?” A voice came from around the nozzle of a sports water bottle.
“Knew she wouldn’t resist for long. Hey, Deano, you’ve seen her ride a surfboard—” Before he could flip another insult out of his pea sized brain, I pivoted back and put my fist in his face.
“Don’t talk about her like that.”
Jace hit the floor, holding his bloody nose.
“Here, man, let me help you up.” Dean pulled him up by the hand only to sucker punch him in the gut. “Like my friend said, don’t fucking talk about her like that. If I find out you’ve been anything but gentlemanly with her, you’ll be flossing with your own nutsack.”
The changing room was quiet, most of the lads torn between helping Jace and giving Dean and me a wide berth.
“And next time you pussies kick a fucking football, do it with some gumption. That shit show was shocking.” The two of us walked towards the shower stalls, both equally frustrated that Malia appeared to be dating… or worse, looking to hook up.
“You sure about this?” Dean asked Malia as the three of us floated around on our boards. She looked at me and I remained silent. I wasn’t in a safe place to voice anything about the fact she was still insistent about her date with Jace. Although I caught her looking at me funny and wondered if she wanted me to put a stop to it. I didn’t, though. I had tight control on everything, because I was still raging about it all.
“Jesus Christ! It’s a fucking date. I’m not eloping.” She slapped her hands into the water in frustration.
“If I told you he gave Millie the clap would that change your mind?”
“I’m not fucking twelve either.” Malia put her hands in the water and began to scoop them like oars away from us.
“W
ait!” Dean shouted. “Is your mom home tonight?” Malia’s back went rigid. “You’d best come back to mine when you’ve finished your date.”
She ignored him and motored off again. Her lack of response was indeed a very loud response. Malia’s mom had become so absent she could have had her own missing persons ad on a milk carton. Dean’s mom had got used to her staying over whenever she needed to. It was getting to the point where she made extra food at meal times, too. The situation was almost normal for them now and I wasn’t a third wheel any longer. I wasn’t even on the same vehicle. In my mind, I prayed that Dean and Malia saw each other as some fucked up brother and sister, but then he’d make comments that reminded me it hadn’t been for our agreement he’d have been on her like white on rice.
“If Jace touches a hair on her head, I’ll kill him,” he said, watching her retreating back.
You and me both, my inner warrior chided. “I reckon he got that message earlier.”
“Damn it!” he shouted. “I can’t believe he’s actually going to get to fuck her.”
I looked at my friend, wondering whether he thought he’d used his inside head voice instead of his actual one. The brother sister thing I reassured myself with every night when I knew she was asleep in the room next to him was constantly tested by the crude words that fell from his mouth. It was probably more truthful that he was actually thinking about what it would be like to fuck her, while pretending she was his sister.
“Things with you and Charmayne over then?”
I did my level-headed best to remind him that there was more to life than Malia, even if I didn’t believe that nonsense myself.
“Hooked up a couple of times.” Dean shrugged it off like it was no big deal.
“A couple?”
“Well, twice on Saturday night, three times on Monday and once yesterday in the girl’s bathroom after biology, but who’s counting?” He smirked.
I felt my whole frame sagged in relief. He really did see Malia as a sister.
“Safe to say, I think I’ve got this whole biology practical assessment thing sussed,” he joked.
Malia: A Black Sentinels MC Novel Page 3