Slowly, my gentle pleasuring of him turned into swift and deliberate hip pumps into my mouth. It was a challenge at first, but my mouth began to settle with the heady mixture of pleasure and pain. The head of his cock regularly touched the back of my throat and soon my mouth ached from being stretched.
Like he could read that I was teetering on my limit, he withdrew. “On your knees.”
I did as he commanded and rolled over, pointing my naked ass in the air. A moment later, his fingers teased open my center and I felt him slowly breach my walls with his dick.
When I threw my head back and sighed with nothing other than self-centered satisfaction, he reached for the mop of curls on top of my head, pulling it back. My neck was almost at breaking point, my back arched and shifting trying to find the comfiest position to take him, because I knew, like the sun was going to rise in the morning, that this was going to be brutal.
I was fine with that, too. This was me offering my surrender for all my wrong doings and he was going to take his frustrations out on me. I was okay with that, because if I only ever got this one time to be close to him, I wanted it to deliver a message. I needed him to know I was sorry. That I knew I’d fucked up and that whatever life held for me after he left, I’d be okay with that. Because I got what I deserved.
Reef pounded and punched into me, his breathing hard and his hand yanking my head back in the most delicious rhythm. My legs quivered, my knees on the brink of complete collapse at the pace he’d set. “Come.”
The one word, forced through his lips, told me he was there and that he was working every ounce of self-control left in him to get us there together.
I inhaled and grasped harder as my body reacted. My core tightened as my insides created so much intense energy that I began to feel lightheaded.
“Now, dammit!” he bellowed, and my body responded as he decreed it should. And I screamed my way through the most intense fucking and orgasm I’d ever had.
I felt Reef slacken his grip on my hair and pull me upright so my back was flush with his chest, my thighs spread so wide that my hips felt on the verge of dislocation. His hand clamped around my neck and I felt his dick thicken and release multiple times as his body shuddered to a satisfying end.
I could feel his breath on my cheek, neck and ear as the water built up in my eyes.
I couldn’t break down in front of him.
My tears weren’t about regretting what we’d done. They were building because I regretted my part in denying us both this for the last decade. We could have had this if I’d chosen differently.
That beautiful fuck, a Reef so in control of his pleasure could have been mine.
If fucking him had been a mistake it was because I’d shown myself everything I’d missed out on and that understanding burned.
No, burned didn’t cover it. It seared my insides. I should never have come here because I didn’t know how I’d survive without him in my life again.
A steady stream of tears dribbled down my cheeks until they fell on his hand, still holding me prisoner to our connection. Reef’s breathing had stabilized where I was on the verge of emotional hyperventilation. His grip on me finally slackened and as he pulled his dick from between my legs, I knew it was the beginning of the end. It had to be.
“Get cleaned up and wait here for me.”
I nodded, knowing any verbal agreement would betray me.
As I reached for my pants and panties, I heard his zipper and belt buckle being sorted. I didn’t look at him as the door opened and closed and as soon as it did, I released my first sob.
Reef got what he wanted, and I got what I needed.
And now I had to get out of here. I had to grab my shit and make a break for it.
I didn’t deserve his help. I’d made this fucking mess with Dean and the least I could do was sort it out and not drag Reef into it, back in the past, a life he’d willingly walked away from.
It was time I learned that running solved nothing and asking others for help never worked. Not for me anyway. The only person with the power to resolve this shit was me.
I needed to take back the power in my own fucking life and start living it.
Wave
Fucking her was everything I knew it would be and more. I imagined this was what a fire fighter felt like when they breached a burning building. The intense need for fresh air and water was immediate, but once you got outside and had that, the adrenaline rush would be over, and you’re be a normal person again. Not a life saver, not a smoke eater, just a regular person.
“Figured you’d bolt,” I said calmly, even though I was anything but. It was the second time that day I’d made her jump.
Fuck, I was angry.
I’d been perpetually angry since she’d blasted back into my life. No, that was wrong. I’d been angry since I’d walked away from her all those years ago.
At first, I wanted to fuck her out of pure revenge, some misguided notion that I was getting one over on her because she chose him. Malia wanted him and she only came for me because she needed me. Not wanted, needed.
I sat astride my bike at the bottom of the drive, certain she was going to run. After all, I was planning on it. The fact I was right did absolutely nothing for my anger.
“So, where you goin’?”
Malia had an overnight bag in one hand and her car keys in the other. The tears I felt as I’d finished shooting my seed inside her were still running rampant on her face, only this time she did nothing to hide them.
“Anywhere. Away.”
“What about Dean?”
“What about him?” Her face wasn’t that of someone who was pining for a lost love. It showed something worse, contempt, anger and disgust.
“Figured you’d come to your senses because you saw the real dick that he was, but no. You only came looking for me because he fucked you over.”
The anger fled her features as her face paled. Calling her out on her shit was like a slap and she had no comeback.
“What was that back there?” I folded my arms over my chest while keeping my bike controlled and steady between my thighs, just like I’d done to her mere minutes ago. “A merry fuck? A goodbye blowie? Some twisted attempt to manipulate me.”
This time her frame folded until she was bent double, so wounded by my harsh words that she threw out a hand to steady herself. Anything to stop her falling to the floor. The satisfaction I felt at jabbing my anger in her direction wasn’t as enjoyable as I’d imagined.
“Come on. Be honest.” I rooted my bike to the floor, climbed off it and stalked over to her. “You need my help and you thought a fast fuck would seal the deal. You’re more like that asshole than you know.”
Malia’s hand snuck out, sliced through the air and struck my face. This was not something I’d ever seen her do in the past. Come to think of it, I’d never really seen her angry. She was always so good at keeping her emotions on lockdown. We all knew they were bubbling under the surface with the way things were with her family.
“There she is,” I whispered. “A woman worthy of the great Dean Morrison.”
The hand holding her belongings unclenched, letting it fall to the floor, and as my eyes followed it, I missed her true intent.
Me.
I was the target.
A simple reaction from her, some home truths from me, and it was her undoing.
Her hands paddled forward, slapping me left and right. As I got hold of her, she began to scream and sob.
“You. I gave you that back there. I gave you me. He’s never had that from me. Never had that willingness, those feelings, that emotion. That was for you, you fucking asshole.”
“Don’t lie,” I grunted out, as her thrashing ceased and her energy instantly depleted. “It was for you, Malia, to ease your own guilt.”
Her head fell onto my shoulder, all the fight in her gone once more. “And that eats away at me like an ulcer,” she wept.
Once more, the satisfaction in her admission wa
s severely lacking.
“You broke me, Mal,” I finally admitted.
“I broke me, too.”
“I don’t know how to get over that betrayal.” The honesty poured from me unexpectedly.
“I haven’t asked you to.”
“But you want me to.” A feeling a lot like fear crept into me. Was she giving up?
“How can I expect you to get over it when I never will?”
I was wrong. She wasn’t giving up; she’d already done that, the task seemingly too hard to overcome, and it scared the hell out of me. Over the years I’d wanted to know that she’d suffered, and I vowed that I’d make her feel pain until my last breath on this earth. Now it was obvious that she’d been suffering all along, because being with him was a constant reminder of the past. When three people became two, her decision was there for her every day. At least I’d had the beauty of out of sight out of mind.
“Follow me back to the club.”
“No. I’m done. I need to get going.”
“You came to me for help. At least tell me what you need.”
“Reef, please,” she pleaded.
I pulled her off my shoulder, a shoulder that was the perfect height for her to cry on when she was sad, but also perfect for her to lean on, be happy and content, or sleepy and just in my arms.
“You don’t do as I say, I’ll come find you and it won’t be pretty.”
Her eyes flickered with hope.
Fuck. Me.
She wanted that. She’d always wanted that. Somewhere deep down, Malia had always hoped I’d come and take her away from him.
“I’ll tell you then get on my way.”
“Whatever.”
I was right; the deflation of hope was just as clear.
I waited until she was in her car before I climbed on my bike and started it. As we rode through town, I was careful not to overrun any junctions that might have separated us, knowing that if I gave her the chance, she’d run. In my head, I knew I’d track her down and go after her, but if she got away and went back to him, it would kill me. Even the thought of seeing him was a risk, and all the restraint and reasoning in the world wouldn’t hold me back from hurting him.
At every crossroads or turning, I checked my side mirrors to make sure she was on my tail, and it was only once we hit the compound yard that I felt my body settle.
“A word of warning: the brothers are loyal, but their old ladies even more so. Whatever you have to say, do it straight up, no bullshit.”
“I—”
Cutting her off, I continued. “Mal, I’ve been asking you to tell me what’s going on for over twenty-four hours. Your stubborn streak can be cute—” she blushed “—and irritating. You fuck around being petulant and difficult, I won’t have to set you out. The women will do it for me.”
She didn’t like that one bit, but this was my world, not hers and even though I didn’t get any satisfaction from her seeing her in pain, seeing her unsettled did bring me a little joy.
“What’s with the packet?” I nodded at the brown paper document wallet tucked protectively under her arm. Part instinct, part gentleman had me placing my hand in the small of her back as we headed through the autoshop.
“Evidence, I hope.”
The noises of the shop in full work mode were loud. Hammer guns unlocked and locked bolts, metal on metal shrieked as it was struck and shaped by panel beaters, and the faint tunes of some classic 80’s rock from the radio system all felt like home to me. But the more faces that appeared, the closer Malia stuck to my side, so much so that by the time we were through the melee she was tucked under my arm. “Calm down. It’s just some of the guys you saw in the common room when you came looking for me.”
The tension didn’t leave her body until Shadow appeared in front of us. “Hey, what happened to your—” She stopped quickly and glanced between our faces. “Did you fight him?”
“He wishes, babe.”
I felt the growl rumble from my chest at his easy use of such an affectionate term.
“You should say sorry,” she snapped.
“And you shouldn’t come between best friends, but let’s not go there. Babe.”
My words pulled her up short as Wolf appeared. He threw me an intense stare before turning it on Shadow, trying to confirm we were both good and if we weren’t quite there yet, we best fucking behave.
“Common room clear, Prez?”
“Will be if you need it that way.”
I nodded. I didn’t know what Malia was going to present and until I did, it was on a need to know basis. Wolf strode off, Shadow followed, and I pushed Malia behind them, all of us boxing her in as we ascended the metal stairs.
“Need the room,” Wolf shouted, and everyone got up and moved.
“He’s kinda scary,” she whispered to me.
“You have no fucking idea.”
Gears was about to walk out the door with the rest of the brothers on a soda break, when I saw Wolf hold him back. Silence descended on the room as we all stopped and focused on Malia. Once she realized this, she began to fidget.
“No need to be afraid.” Wolf smiled at her, showing her his human side, placating her with careful, poised care. There were many sides to him and being a master manipulator was only one of them. “You wanna tell me why my men are ripping chunks outta each other?”
“Uh, I only just realized that. Reef should apologize.”
Her first words had the room a little more at ease as Shadow turned to me and smirked. Wolf smiled, but then hid it, while I just wanted to throttle her. Before she could continue, the door banged open and in walked Angel and Gigi, both with determined looks on their faces, one more so than the other.
“Fuck. Baby—” Wolf began.
“Don’t baby me and don’t tell me this is club business,” she countered.
“I don’t know what it is yet.” Now this was a side of Wolf I saw more frequently, frustrated.
“Good. Then we didn’t miss anything.” Wolf was back to head shaking as Angel wrapped herself around his front and Gigi did the same, sidling up to Gears.
Now it was six against one.
“What’s your deal?” Angel, never one to beat around the bush, barked. “I don’t like it when bitches bring trouble to the brothers.”
“I didn’t bring trouble,” Malia rebutted.
“Then why the fuck are we here?”
“You weren’t five minutes ago.” Watching Malia give Angel as good as she got caused my dick to spring to life and my pants to tighten just that little bit extra. It was a dangerous play. One wrong word and she’d be nose-diving back down the metal compound stairs and then truly on her own with her troubles. But it was fucking impressive that she wasn’t intimidated.
“Listen, you uppity—”
“Angel, for fuck’s sake!” Wolf gave her a look before turning his attention back to Malia. “My wife is protective over her family.”
“I know. Reef mentioned that it was like that here.” She smiled at him. “I like that he has that.”
My hard dick deflated at seeing the sadness on her face. I’d had two good families in my life and she’d barely had the one.
Her words earned her some respect from Wolf and Gears. Beside Shadow, who nobody knew the background of, Gears and I were the only ones in the room who’d had something that resembled a normal family upbringing. The brothers were bonded by bikes and brotherhood, but all of us, old ladies included, were forged out of dysfunctional emotions, and it was something that made us stronger.
“Babe,” I urged. “Why do you need my help?”
Malia’s eyes pinned me to the spot. “I think he’s going to kill me.”
Angel and Gigi went wide-eyed and the brothers in the room didn’t move.
With some shame, she looked at me and continued, flipping papers out of the brown packet. “I followed him home from the launderette one night. He was at the bar across the road.”
Launderette. Fucking launderett
e. That motherfucker couldn’t even provide her with an in-house laundry machine.
“I, uh, caught him with another woman.” Her voice went quiet, a mixture of shame and more sadness. “The next day when he went to work, I searched the house and found some stuff. He’s got a whole business I knew nothing about.”
“What kinda business?”
“Adult movies.”
Angel’s brow hit her hairline and Gigi looked like she might upchuck her stomach at any moment.
“Disturbing, but fucking predictable,” I muttered.
“Along with all the business documents, I found some life insurance policies. There was one in my name, signed by someone claiming to be me, and he’s the beneficiary.”
“That’s not proof, honey,” Wolf commented.
Malia looked flustered; she wanted us to see she was concerned. “Then why don’t I know about them? Why would someone forge my signature? If they were legit, I’d know.”
No one responded.
It did sound shady.
“Look, I get it. I’ve done what you asked. I came here and told you what’s going on. Now, I’m leaving.”
Malia took a step forward.
“Where you goin’? We’re in the middle of a discussion.”
“This isn’t a discussion. This is humiliating.” Tears appeared in the corners of her eyes. “You don’t know what it’s been like. You grew up in your perfect family with supportive parents and I was just this discarded after thought. That didn’t change when I got to college. Whatever you think I have with him, you’re wrong. He hates me. I live on a knife-edge of… of… I don’t even know, but if I put one foot wrong, I’m scared to consider the what ifs.”
Gigi stepped around Gears and got right in Malia’s face. “I get it, more than you’ll ever know. We’ll help you figure this out.”
Malia sagged into her arms as Gigi gave us each a look that told us in no uncertain terms that we were going to help her.
“It’s okay,” I heard Mal whisper. “I’ve managed this far on my own.”
Malia: A Black Sentinels MC Novel Page 14