Malia.
How would I ever look her in the face knowing what I’d been a part of? She was probably the one person who could calm my shit, but he was right. “I loved that guy once and I just handed him over for… for… that.”
“He’s not an innocent.”
“He was my brother!” I shouted, unsure how I was going to come to terms with it.
“He was a rapist. He once shoved a pool cue up inside a girl so brutally that her insides were fucking mush. He was a sick fuck,” Mac argued.
“I loved his parents once. How do I look at them when I go home, knowing what I’ve done?”
“We’ve done,” Shadowed countered “And would you look at them anyway now you know what he’s been up to?”
I was so far from okay it was a word that existed on another planet. I was struggling with this, but I had to come to some kind of understanding otherwise it would eat me up, burn my soul and destroy me. I had to deal with it, rationalize it somehow or it would tarnish what I had with Malia and the future I wanted to build with her.
“What do I tell Mal?” I whispered gruffly, feeling like I was baring a part of my soul the brothers had never seen, the caring, kind person who wanted nothing but the best for her from the moment we’d met.
“That she’s safe.” Gears stepped forward and gripped my shoulder. All of his past, all of what we’d saved Gigi from passed between us in the moment of understanding.
He knew.
He fucking knew, out of all the people stood with me right there, he knew what it meant to have your woman safe.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Malia
“Here they come.” Angel jumped up from the bench we’d taken permanent residence on in the Sentinels courtyard. The sun beat down on me, yet I couldn’t stop shivering. It had dawned on me about ten minutes after Reef had left me that I’d sent him to deal with this on his own. I couldn’t shake the feeling that it was a mistake and I might never see him again. As I was finding the courage to go and follow him, Angel and Gigi pulled up next to me like a recuse mission sent from the Gods. In this case it was the God of Wolf.
I still wanted to follow Reef, especially now I wasn’t alone. Gigi was dead set against it and for a moment, Angel was on the fence until Gigi reminded her that Wolf had given them specific instructions. It was then I knew just how bad this was, because Angel decided to obey her man, rather than be her usual self and throw caution to the wind.
The drive back to the workshop felt long and I was a blubbering mess by the time we arrived, their reassurances having little or no effect. Until I laid eyes on Reef, I’d be worried he wasn’t safe. Both Gigi and Angel worked hard to convince me that things would go to plan, but they didn’t know Dean. He never did what people expected, and until I had my arms around Reef, I knew I wouldn’t settle.
The back door of the van opened the minute it slowed to a stop, with Shadow behind the wheel. Wolf climbed out, banged on the roof, shouted, “Burn it,” only causing my panic to increase. Why did they need to burn the van? I soon forgot my question, though, when Reef approached me, his face looking like it had aged ten years.
“Oh God, what’s wrong? What’s happened?”
“Babe…” That was all I got until he rumbled, “I need a beer.”
“Fuck the beer!” I snapped. “Tell me what happened.”
A look passed between all of them as Reef sagged and folded me in his arms. “It’s over. You’re safe.”
My body sagged in response, and tears of sheer fear and uncertainty over everything I’d discovered and been through broke free. I cried for the life we’d lost, all the time we’d missed out on. I wept with relief that I was no longer in danger, and I sobbed because this was it now. I’d found the man I’d always loved, and we could finally start our future together.
Finally.
With watery eyes, I felt my body being carried and when I was laid down on a bed, I knew Reef had brought me to his room in the compound. He said nothing; he just held me until I was all cried out. “What happened?”
“Do you really want to know?” Reef asked, and the aged man he had been a few moments ago returned.
“Yes and no.”
I felt hot air from his mouth brush past my forehead. “I’d feel happier if you stuck with no.” He sighed into my hair.
“Whatever it is, I can’t let you carry it alone.”
He kissed me on the lips this time. “I’m not. My brothers have taken the load, too.”
“Is he… dead?” I don’t know why, but I just knew I needed to know.
“He was alive when we left him.” I searched his eyes, scanned his face for something false and only saw truth. “Mal, he did some really bad shit. He got in deep, too deep with some heavy-duty players. You won’t see him again, ever.”
Tears pricked at my eyes. Whatever had happened, Reef was trying to come to terms with it, but what it boiled down to was he’d done it for me. His brothers had done that for me.
Reef’s shaky voice interrupted my musings. “Are you sad for him? I know you loved him once.” He kissed me again. This man was something else. Even after everything, he was prepared to let me grieve over the loss of the life I’d once had.
“I could say the same to you,” I whispered in return.
“I lost him a long time ago, Mal. The man I saw today had consumed the guy I used to know. He was so far gone not even my mercy, pity or forgiveness could have saved him. Even if I’d begged for it, he wouldn’t have got what he needed. His soul was just too far gone.”
“So, it’s really over?”
“Yeah, baby.”
It should have felt wrong to do what I was about to do, but there would be no mourning or grieving. There was only life and living.
Moving forward and starting again.
I snaked my hand down his torso and lowered the zipper of his jeans, my fingers searching, my eyes never leaving his. I saw his throat bob with emotion as his tongue snaked out and licked his lips, his eyes never wavering as they flared with lust and desire. What began as something slow and measured, testing whether he wanted the same as me in this moment, switched in heartbeat to something frenzied, an all-out attack. There was a race to shed our clothes, with me coming out the slowest. As he helped and ripped my bra from my body, I felt at peace when his teeth bit sharply on my nipple. Reef bit and sucked, starved for my body. I fell to my knees, my breast extended until he released it from his mouth. I took his cock in mine urgently, the head of it striking my throat harshly, as I fought to keep it there. He pulled it back, his legs quivering. Reef fucked my face, his eyes never leaving mine, his chest rising and falling with the need to own me, to rid me of the past and stake a claim for the future.
Pulling out of me, he dragged me to a chair, pushing the clothes piled on it aside harshly. “Fuck me, Mal. Show me. Love me. Let me feel us joined and finally free of the past.”
Spreading my legs, I guided him home and sank down, the stretch and fill of him so familiar yet so different. This time is felt beautifully different.
“Fuckin’ fuck me. Ride me,” he growled, and I did. I rose up and down, every muscle down to my toes powering my actions, the need to be full of him so great. My moans of pleasure were only drowned out by his groans as he took over and his hands clamped down on my hips, forcing me up and down at pace. I was fuller than I’d ever known could be possible. I felt it start, the orgasm I knew was going to rock my world.
He felt it, too. “Not yet. Fuckin’ wait.” His words growled out the command that I knew my body would fail to obey on a spectacular scale.
Reef’s breathing became urgent, labored, until he pulled me down and held me in place, with no room or air gap between our connection, just skin on skin, eye to eye, foreheads pinned together as he twitched and bucked his seed inside me. “Now.”
Perfect.
Magical.
Our union.
A celebration of the end of the past and the very best beginning.
>
“Wave, brother?” Wolf’s voice interrupted our connection, tearing our souls from the integrity of the moment followed by a knock on the door. “Time to talk.”
“Be out in five,” Reef responded.
“What’s he want to talk about?”
“The future.”
When we entered the common room, all the brothers who’d been on the mission for me were present. Some nursed beers, and others held steaming hot mugs of coffee as they stared off into the distance. It was clear that a couple of the brothers had been doing exactly the same as Reef and me—losing themselves in the people they loved. It was now or never as I cleared my throat.
“Guys, I… uh… don’t know…” My eyes welled with tears. Shadow was first to me. He gave me a cuddle and kissed me. Mac was next. He ruffled my hair like I was twelve. Gears looked haunted but gently kissed my cheek, and then came Wolf. “Thank you,” I whispered.
“No thanks necessary. You’re family. We look after our own.” There was no falsehood to his words; it was genuine. All the words he spoke were the gospel truth. “Malia, honey, I don’t know how much Wave shared, but I need to ask you to do something. Forget it.”
“I want to forget it all.”
“The people Dean was involved with aren’t to be taken lightly. They get word any of us even thought about sharing and we’ll have big problems. You get me?” He waited until I looked him square in his eyes. “The kind that could end this club, end us all.”
This time Wolf turned to address the room. “Think of it as a bond between us all and never speak of it again. I want your word on the lives of your families and your bond as brothers and old ladies.”
Lots of voices mumbled back in the affirmative until I was the only one left. “I owe you all my life. I’d never betray Reef or his brothers by putting what you’ve got here at risk. You swear on your families. I swear for this family. I’ve never had much of one before and I vow to give each and everyone of you my word. I’ll never be able to repay you.”
“Honey, how you look at my brother, how he is with you since you came here, the words you just said about family, that’s payback enough.”
Everyone breathed freer, like they hadn’t been sure how this was going to go.
“Now we’ve resolved that, we have one more thing to decide. The Black Sentinels just became the new owners of Morrison Mayhem Productions. We need to take a vote on what to do with it.”
The voices all kicked in until I silenced them. “I want to see it.”
“Mal, that’s not a good idea.”
“I need closure. I won’t get that with Dean. This is the next best thing.”
Reef walked me away from the others until my back hit the wall. “This is a bad idea.”
“I won’t settle.”
“You might never settle if you do know.”
I looked around Reef to Wolf. “Do I get a vote on what happens?”
“All family get a vote.”
“Then I won’t vote until I’ve seen it. What if I make the wrong choice and vote to keep it and it holds us back, holds me back?”
“Looks like we’re going on a ride, brothers. Rollout in ten,” Wolf agreed, much to Reef’s annoyance.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Wave
Beyond pissed.
There was no other way to put it. Malia using her manipulation skills to get what she wanted had seriously pissed me off. The last place I wanted her to be was here. This place had a darkness about it that went beyond the bricks and mortar that made it. Only Dean could have seen through this vision to turn the most understated building into the very worst underground money maker ever. His mind was so far past warped, simple as that.
Before I let her walk into the place, I had to give her one last chance. “You don’t have to do this.”
“I do.”
My frustration was evident to everyone, so much so my brothers were giving me a wide berth. But I knew there was no talking her out of this. “You change your mind, we leave immediately.”
“Reef…” She kissed me gently. “I know you want to protect me, but I’m tougher than I look.”
“You always have been, but there’s tough and just plain fucking stupid. I think you know where I stand on this.”
“Let’s do this,” Shadow interrupted, appearing beside us at just the right moment, ending what was definitely destined to be our first very big, very real argument. His timely intervention only caused my mood to deteriorate, but clearly the more I insisted, the more Malia would dig her heels in.
Classic Malia.
The reception area was exactly as I’d left it only hours before. It was just missing the frankenfreak who was as plastic as the desk she sat behind. My eyes spun around, busy searching for anything that would upset Malia. They flitted between her and the surroundings so quickly it was a wonder my brain didn’t bang the sides of my skull. The room we entered beyond the reception was a porn hall of fame with picture frames everywhere. Thankfully Angel was there to lighten the mood.
“Look at that. She should be in a nurse’s dress up. I’m itching just looking at it.”
Malia chuckled and I breathed a little easier. “What about that one? She’s got very odd boobs.” Malia and Angel tilted their heads in comedy sketch manner. “The left is clearly bigger.” Suddenly she snorted. “Look, her name’s Wonky Wanda.”
Even I chuckled at that. Maybe this wouldn’t be too bad after all.
“Babe,” Wolf grumbled. “Commit these dress-up outfits to memory and scratch the fucking lot of them from our list.”
We all looked at him, but only Gears responded. “You have a fuckin’ list?”
“Of course we do, although my man does not need me to dress up,” Angel pointed out. “After this experience, though, we’re on a porno time out.”
“TMI,” Wave groaned.
“And moving on.” I opened another door, leading to a kitchen. Beyond the kitchen we found an equipment room full of stuff that was probably one big petri dish of disease, a room full of chairs and finally an office full of papers and filing cabinets.
“I’ll be here,” Mac decided, and dived at them, pulling drawers open like his life depended on it.
“Problem?”
“Color me intrigued, but no porn king keeps this many files. May as well see what the fucker actually filed.” Within minutes he was engrossed in flipping through tabs, checking names and paperwork. He quickly discarded them in a pile, hanging onto some, and I knew this wasn’t the first time he’d done this kind of thing. He knew what he was looking for.
“You okay to hang here then?” Mac waved us on without a second glance.
The more doors we opened, the deeper into the bowels of Dean’s world we went. One half of the warehouse had sets and screens, so much so that he could have given any budget Hollywood studio a run for its money.
“How did I not know anything about this?” Mal’s voice was bewildered. “I mean, stuff on this scale doesn’t spring up overnight.”
“We only see what we wanna see,” Gigi told her wisely, leaving me praying for the day when Malia would stop kicking herself for the choices she’d made.
Angel nodded towards a pool in the corner. “I could get on the pole, show my man my skills.”
“But he thinks you have pretty skin and doesn’t want to have to scrub you down with bleach later.” Wolf’s voice came from somewhere in the depths of the room. “Here. I’ve found something.”
Our heads turned in his direction and we knew this was it. Up until now everything had been mundane, everything you’d expect to find in a studio that specialized in adult entertainment. When we finally gathered by him, he moved a large cabinet on wheels aside, leaving us all looking at a padlocked door.
“Girls, go wait outside.”
“No. No way. We’re all in,” rebuked Angel, who was less than impressed with her husband’s suggestion.
“You okay?” Malia had frozen. She knew that whatever was b
eyond that door was a game changer. She just nodded at me.
“Find me something to open this,” Wolf demanded, and five minutes later Gears appeared with a sledgehammer.
“Found it on the set of ‘Bone Depot, for all your big tools’.
“Fuck, never visiting one of those again either.”
Gears swung the hammer at the lock, and it dented both the door and fairly sturdy padlock. A handful more lumberjack moves and the lock gave way, the pressure forcing the door to swing free, in turn exposing us to the inner secrets the room held. “What in the ever-loving fuck?”
I moved forward and saw the walls were lined with plastic sheeting, all taped corner to corner, only a bed lying in the middle holding down a sheet covering the floor. The only gap was where the sheeting had been cut around a huge stainless drain in the floor.
“Whatever is it?” Malia’s voice cut through the doorway.
“Stay there,” I barked, praying one of my brothers would get to the door aperture before her and give me a moment to process where I was.
The air in the room was thick with death and pain, and all the destination touch points in between. There were handcuffs and ankle clamps anchored from the bedposts, even a fucking chain with what looked a like a fucking bear collar hanging off the wall. In the corner behind the door, out of arms reach of whoever was unlucky enough to be here, was a stainless-steel table, housing a selection of tools, all laid out in surgical alignment, just waiting for the doctor of death.
This was where it all happened, all the bad shit we’d heard about but none of us truly wanted to believe in. Only now it was impossible to ignore, impossible to process.
“Thank fuck it’s clean,” Gears whispered.
“Just because you can’t see the bodies doesn’t mean you can’t feel ‘em.”
Gears pointed to a mirror on the wall, completely out of place, and with a tissue covered finger, he swung it at an angle. It was a camera hole, a viewing point for filming equipment.
Malia: A Black Sentinels MC Novel Page 22