by Black, T. E.
I need them both to wake the fuck up.
I look around, seeing if there's anything I can use to create noise. My eyes land on Trent's dresser, which happens to be filled with CD cases. That'll work.
I move toward it, swiping one hand across it and sending every last case onto his hardwood floors. Trent and the bimbo jump up at the same time, not registering what just happened.
They'll figure it out quick.
Trent's eyes meet mine while he snaps from his sleep. He jumps out of bed, pleading and swearing up a storm at me, but I’m not hearing it.
"Shay! Baby! It's not what it looks like! Fuck! I swear I didn’t do a damn thing!"
I stand in front of him, my arms crossed, and my high heel clicking in a rhythmic motion. I'm trying to stay calm for the sake of the other girl's face and Trent's balls, but I find it incredibly hard to do when he won't stop feeding me bullshit excuses.
"Shay! Fuck! Look, I -"
I cut him off, holding my hand out to him. I look over at the blonde in bed who’s indeed the other one's twin sister and warn her before it's too late.
"You have two minutes to get your blonde Barbie ass out of my man's bed. And you might want to grab your sister's clothes since she's laying by the door with a broken nose."
The blonde's eyes go wide while she scrambles for her clothing scattered over the floor. Her ass is on fire as she runs from Trent's bedroom.
Smart girl.
"You broke the other chick's nose?" Trent asks with a nervous look.
"Yeah. I did, but don't think it was for you, asshole! Breaking that dumb bitch’s nose was for me! Not you! You don't deserve a damn thing right now!"
I don't let him get a word in. I keep on my rant, letting every thought out in the open. Everything I’ve ever felt for him is in question right now. I stood up for him when no one else would. I fucking ignored every time someone said he was bad news. I gave him a fucking chance.
"You’re a fucking asshole, Trent! How dare you do this me! How dare you do this to Abby! You're selfish! That's exactly what you are! You never think about anybody but yourself! You always say I never notice you unless you’re fucking up, but that’s all you ever do, dammit!”
He stands, mouth agape. I reach in my back pocket, gripping the check from my landlord. I crumple it into a ball and toss it at his chest.
"And keep your fucking money, asshole. I don’t fucking need a thing from you!"
I spin on my heel, walking out on the guy I finally let in.
TWO HOURS LATER, I’m standing in Bruce’s living room, having an argument anything but holy. Fucking great.
“Bruce, I’m not doing this now. I have to go to work, and you’re gonna make me late!” I snap.
Bruce runs a frustrated hand through his hair, looking up from his couch. He seems different lately. Typically, I make little effort as possible to talk to him, but he invited me in to give me part of his overdue child support.
“Shay, why do you always have to be so damn complicated? Just take the fucking money.”
“I don’t know where the money came from. I, unlike some, care where the money supporting my daughter comes from. You don’t have a fucking job, so there’s no way you came up with that much without doing some bad shit.”
His eyes squint while his breathing comes out labored.
“She’s my daughter too!” he shouts.
I scoff. I’m not in the mood to deal with his shit. After the whole ordeal with Trent earlier, I’m about to hit up Ryleigh and start swearing off men completely. Trent still hasn’t attempted to call me—not that I thought he would. I should’ve known better when I walked out his door. I don’t know what pissed me off more. The fact he had the twins in his bed or the fact he thought it was okay to treat me like a fucking charity case.
“She’s only your daughter when you feel like it, Bruce! You don’t give a damn about her any other time besides when you have to. She doesn’t even call you Dad anymore. Did you know that? She calls you Bruce, and I don’t stop her because that’s her choice. She knows who she feels loved around and who she doesn’t.”
“I’m her fucking father, Shay! Who the fuck does she call Dad then, huh? Does she call the dumb little shit from the tattoo shop Dad? You thought I didn’t know, but I hear everything.”
“If she wants to call Trent Dad, then she can. I won’t stop her. It’s not my choice. It’s hers, and you need to respect it. And what does it matter to you who I’m dating or not dating? Trent’s a good guy, and he loves Abby. Why is that so bad?”
Bruce clenches his fists, his body tensing. What does he have against Trent?
“Oh, my God! Are you jealous right now?” I snap.
“I’m not fucking jealous, Shay! You’re free to have whoever’s dick you want in you! That’s not my problem anymore. You can sleep with as many assholes as you want so long as you don’t bring them around my daughter,” he snarls back.
I throw my hands up in rage. I’m not backing down from this. Bruce is being completely insane. I don’t have any idea what’s going on with him.
“Jesus, Bruce! What do you have against Trent? You’ve never even met the guy!”
His eyes turn serious, his lips turning upright in the corner.
“I hear things, Shay. That’s all I need not to like him. He’s a fucking scumbag, and he’s messed up with some bad people,” he confirms, his tone serious.
“You’re seriously crazy! What could you possibly hear? The guy keeps to himself!”
I’m a lying bitch. I know. I’m sticking up for Trent when he doesn’t deserve it one bit, but what am I supposed to do? Bruce has the wrong perception of Trent entirely.
Bruce stands, stepping up to me quickly. His eyes turn soft, and it brings me back to a time when we cared for each other. My breath hitches when he takes my hands in his, looking me dead in the eye.
“Shay, you need to stay away from him. I’m not just saying it to be a dick. I mean it. He’s mixed up with some bad people. I’ve heard a lot of shit about him. I’m telling you this as the father of our child. If anything happened to Abby, I wouldn’t be able to live with it. I may not come around all the time, but I’m trying here. I have to take care of a few things, and then I’ll be around Abby more.”
I watch him carefully, taking my hands away from his. I place a hand on his chest, a nervous tone in my voice.
“I know what I’m doing, Bruce. You don’t need to worry. I won’t let anything happen to Abby or myself. I know Trent. I’ll take your warning, but I can’t promise I’ll stay away from him. I love him …” My voice trails off.
Bruce groans in frustration, pulling me in for a hug. I take comfort in his gesture, my face falling into the crook of his neck.
“I’m so sorry, Shay,” he apologizes.
“Why are you apologizing, Bruce?”
“Bad things have to happen in order to make things right. I know you love him, but nothing good is gonna come from it. I promise that.”
I swallow back a sob, wrapping my arms tighter around him. Isn’t that the truth?
THE LAST PLACE I want to be right now is working at the club, but I had no choice. Tony called me in, and I really couldn’t say no, now could I? Tony kind of holds a power over me per se. I had no choice but to drop Abby off at Bruce’s until I got home later.
“Hey, sweetheart! How’s it going?” Marco greets me.
I plaster on a forced smile, hoping he doesn’t see through my façade. “Hey, Marco.”
“You okay?”
“I'm okay. It’s just been a long day,” I confirm.
Marco looks at me with worried eyes, his brows creasing in the center. “You don’t look too good, Shay. You look like you’ve been run over by a truck.”
I snarl, gritting my teeth. He has no idea. “More like a train,” I state matter-of-factly.
“Does this train have a name?”
“Yep.”
“Care to share said train’s name?”
�
��Trent fuck-wad Wallace Express.”
Marco lets out a deep laugh, his hand going on his stomach.
“Fuck, Shay! You kill me with your wording. Aren’t you crazy about that kid? What’d he do now?”
I rifle through my bag in the dressing room, looking for my fur leg warmers.
“Ah. You know, just the usual. I went to his house this morning and found him in bed with twins. He tried to give me some bullshit about how he didn’t sleep with them. I mean, really? Do I look fucking dumb, Marco?”
Marco stops laughing, giving me a now sympathetic look. “Did you hear him out? Sometimes shit isn’t always what it looks like. You should be the first person to know things aren’t always what they seem. I mean, people here at the club look at you with this perception that you enjoy dancing for a living, Shay. You don’t. I mean, did you actually see them fucking or did you see what you wanted to see?”
Are you kidding me? He’s sticking up for him!
“It’s not the same!” I shout.
“How isn’t it the same? Does he know you dance at this club?”
I blow out a frustrated breath, only to find myself digging my nails into my hand. “I’m not fucking cheating on him, Marco!”
“I bet in his eyes, he’d think different. I’m not trying to be a dick, babe, but you need to look at this from both angles. He’s not the only one keeping secrets here. You’ve had this light to you since you started dating that kid. I’ve never seen you so carefree. I can see, when he’s not fucking up, he’s making you happy. So don’t shoot the messenger, but all I’m saying is give him a chance to explain. I know you’d want the same from him if he found out about you working here.”
I sigh, knowing Marco is completely right. He may be tough when he says it, but he’s only speaking the truth.
“Thank you,” I whisper, my eyes going down to the floor.
“You know I got you, Shay.”
One of the other dancers opens the door, peeking her head in on Marco and me.
“Shay, Tony wants to see you in his office.”
She shuts the door, disappearing while Marco and I both mutter under our breaths.
“Get ready for your set, and then go see him. I don’t feel like hearing him bitch about how no one respects him around here again.”
“Okay. I’ll catch up with you later,” I agree.
He walks toward to door, his back to me as I yell out.
“Marco? Thank you. Honestly. I needed this. I’ll let you know what happens with Trent.”
“COME IN!” HE shouts.
I blow out a deep breath before turning the handle to Tony’s office. He hasn’t bothered me much lately, but I have a feeling it’s been a lapse in the karma gods.
I open the door to see Tony smiling wide at me from his desk while he holds a glass of dark liquor in his hand. With faltering steps, I move to the chairs in front of his desk and take a seat.
“You wanted to see me?”
“I did, Shay. Thank you for coming before your set,” he says before taking a sip of his drink.
“Anytime,” I grumble sarcastically.
Tony turns in his chair, grabbing a bottle from behind him and a glass. He pours another drink, setting it in front of me. When I make no movement for it, he slides the glass with two fingers.
“Have a drink with me.”
“I’m good. Thanks for the offer, though,” I snarl.
“You’re quite angry tonight, Shay. Did Trent do something to upset you? Perhaps he cheated on you today, or was it your argument with your daughter’s father that has you so angry?”
He takes another sip of his drink while I stare at mine with malice.
“If you choose not to take a sip of your drink, you might offend me. I thought we decided it wasn’t a good idea for you to cross me when I hold such valuable information.”
I snatch the amber-filled glass off his desk and take a long gulp. The burn from the liquor causes me to cough vigorously.
“There. Are you happy now? I took a damn drink. And you can tell Trent whatever the hell you want! He doesn’t give a damn about me anymore! I’m done with this shit, Tony!” I snap.
Tony lets out a growl, standing up from his desk and moving quickly. He stands in front of me, his hand reaching out. He snags me by the throat, my airway closing underneath the pressure.
I gasp for breath as Tony’s nose comes close to mine. He grits his teeth, spit flying while he speaks.
“You stupid bitch! You had better get him back, dammit! I’m not fooling around, little girl! This wasn’t part of the plan!”
His grip tightens, and I claw at his hands to release me. My feet kick and my heart begs for oxygen. I’m going to die by the hands of a monster because of Trent. Tony growls, shoving me and my chair backward where I hit the floor. Tony follows close behind, his hand still wrapped around my throat.
“No!” I gasp when he straddles my waist.
With one hand still wrapped tightly around my throat, his other hand grabs my long hair. He yanks it, forcing me to look directly at him. The look in his eye haunts me. There’s no doubt in my mind now that Anthony is a man who keeps his word. He’ll hurt me, and he’ll destroy me if I don’t give him what he wants.
“Listen to me when I speak this time, Shay. You will get Trent back, and you will get me what I want or I will end you. I will rip your life apart piece by piece, and I will do it myself. I don’t normally like to get my hands dirty in a physical sense, but I’ll make an exception for you.”
My chest constricts, my airways collapsing without the air I so desperately need. I need to breathe. You tend to take things like air, for instance, for granted when you’re deprived of it.
Tony removes his hand from my throat, and I choke as the air floods back into my lungs. It burns worse than any liquor could. It feels like a fire igniting inside of my chest.
“Do you understand me?” Tony snarls.
I nod my head in agreement instead of trying to speak. I know it isn’t worth it. I need to keep what I can when it comes to breathing.
Tony stands up, leaving me almost lifeless on the floor of his office. He rounds his desk, sitting back in his chair and taking another sip from his glass.
“You can go home now. You’re not going on stage looking like that tonight,” he dismisses me.
I force myself to get up with shaky legs and move toward the door, getting the hell out of there.
Jay Z – “99 Problems”
I WALK INTO Max's with my head hung low and my shoulders hunched over. I feel like total shit. I can't believe I did this to us. I can't believe I’d be dumb enough to fuck us up.
When I woke up to Shay destroying my shit, I was so fucking confused as to why she was pissed at me. Then I heard a small gasp. I turned my head, and my eyes landed on a naked blonde lying in bed.
The sad part of it is I don't even remember going home with one girl, let alone two. Normally, I'd be happy as fuck for not remembering a damn thing, but not today. Today, I feel worthless. I feel like everyone's life would be a hell of a lot better with me not breathing.
I'll never forget the look on Shay's face. I know she was pissed, that message was one I got clearly, but I know I also hurt her. Her eyes told that emotion. The rest of her body screamed in anger, but those eyes. Man. Those eyes were boring holes into my black fucking soul.
I have to remember who I actually am at the end of the day. It doesn't matter where I lay my head down at night. It doesn't matter how guilty I think I feel. The reality is I don't feel anything in my sorry state. After all, I'm the king of lies. I'm the king of addiction. I'm the king of turmoil. I'm the king of motherfucking heartbreak. I wouldn’t know a good thing if it came up and bit me in the ass.
"What’s it with ya guys always fuckin’ up?" Ryleigh shouts as I approach the bar.
I glance in her direction, a pissy look still plastered on my face. I shouldn't have even come here. I'm not in the mood for her shit today.
"Why ya gotta be such a fucking schootch, Ry?" I ask her, taking a seat at the counter.
I haven't actually talked to Ryleigh since the whole night out thing, and I don't plan to start now. She's pissing me the fuck off by just standing here.
She scoffs, reaching into the cooler behind her and setting a bottle of Sam Adams in front of me.
"Me? A schootch? You’re as bad as the others are now. Ya guys can figure your own shit out. I'm not playing Cupid today."
I go to ask her what the fuck she's talking about when Mac plops down on the stool next to me. Looks like he's on the shit list, too.
"What did ya do to end up here in the middle of the afternoon?" I question him, taking a long pull from my bottle.
He taps the bar with an open palm as Ryleigh sends a bottle his way before wandering away to the other customers.
Mac lets out a deep chuckle, taking a drink for himself. "Saw the wedding dress. It was a fuckin’ accident, but I still got booted the fuck outta the house. Now, she has to go buy a new one because it's bad luck or some shit."
"And I got kicked the fuck outta my apartment because I sided with this sorry motherfucker," Evan chimes in, pulling up a stool next to Mac.
"Guess we're all on the shit list then," I state.
Jay Z's “99 Problems” bumps in the bar, and I can't help but smile. This is one fucking song I enjoy the hell out of. I take a pull from my beer, knowing the guys are going to fucking lose their marbles when they hear why my ass is sitting here.
"What the fuck did ya do to land yourself here, kid?" Mac asks.
Evan raises his eyebrows at me, waiting for my answer as much as Mac is. "Let's hear it!"
I can't help but try to stop the smile creeping over my face. Blame it on the drink. Blame it on my loss of sanity. Either way, what I say next is one of the most absurd things ever spoken.
"I fucked the twins in my bed last night, and Shay caught us all this morning. Oh, and she broke one of their noses."
I resume drinking my beer, tapping my hand on the counter twice to let Ry know I'm looking for something a little stronger. She slides a bottle of whiskey and three shot glasses down the bar, keeping her distance from us.