I’d already lost so much.
“Mom?” The silence was thick and ominous. “Darius? Mom?” Nothing.
The cottage wasn’t large—four rooms, including the small bathroom. I found Darius in the bedroom, passed out across the bed on his stomach, one leg trailing on the floor.
I shook him, refusing to believe for a second that he could be dead. It took time, but he stirred and finally sat up.
“What the hell?” he said, looking around. He licked his lips as if his mouth was dry, then saw my tear-stricken face and froze. “Where’s your mother?”
I shook my head, and tears threatened all over again. I handed him the letter.
“No!” The windows shook with the sound of his anger and grief. “What was she thinking?” He jogged to the kitchen and pulled a dirty cup from the sink. His nostrils flared when he sniffed. “She drugged me. Come on. Maybe there’s still time to find her.”
He ran out the door, a mountain of flesh on the move.
I sent Riley a text.
At Mom’s. Please come get me.
I didn’t want to be alone. And I’d been stupid to run through the woods by myself. I nursed a tiny glimmer of hope that Darius would find Mom in time, but if she’d gone out there looking for Shadow Man and he found her, I was his only target. I couldn’t let him have me, especially not if Mom had sacrificed herself.
I sank into a kitchen chair, and Riley found me there a few minutes later. My eyes were dry, and my heart, though devastated, felt cold and empty.
His face went pale when he saw the state I was in. “What happened?”
“I need you to walk me home, then grab whoever you can to scour the woods for Mom.”
He helped me from the chair and led me by the arm like a fragile doll.
Funny. I didn’t feel fragile. I felt like I was preparing myself for war.
Chapter Nineteen
Riley deposited me safely in my room. After reassuring him several times that I would be safe enough with Phil and Gris standing guard at my side, he took off to help everyone else search for Mom.
A tiny speck of hope shimmered deep within my heart, but that was all. The rest of me had given up. I wouldn’t see my mom again. She’d said goodbye even before she’d left me the letter. I just hadn’t realized that was what she was doing. In fact, looking back, the clues had been there for a long time, even before Aggie had died. When Aggie had given me a tarot reading with the Phoenix card in it, Mom had adamantly refused a reading of her own, as if she’d already guessed her fate.
When she moved out of the house with Darius and into the cabin, our relationship had grown stronger than it had been when we were constantly under each other’s feet. Had she done that on purpose, knowing she might not be around much longer?
She’d been acting strangely for weeks. Maybe if I’d pushed harder when I suspected something was off. Maybe if I’d asked more questions. Maybe if I’d paid closer attention. Maybe, maybe, maybe...
Phil gave me a sympathetic pat on the shoulder. “Cat food is good for androgynous prices.”
I tried to smile but it felt more like a grimace. “I appreciate that. Thanks.”
Gris remained silent in the doorway inside his man-suit. I knew Mom meant a lot to him, too, and he was probably torn between guarding me and searching for her.
I sighed and reached for the leather-bound book that had given me so much trouble and so few answers. The title, previously a bunch of unreadable symbols, spread across the cover in rolling script, spelling out the word Covenant. Not terribly helpful, of course, but at least that part of the book had finally cooperated.
I grabbed the edge of the cover and hesitated. The book might still be empty, which would be no help to me. Or it could be filled with words, which would mean my mother was dead. I couldn’t bear either choice.
Gris sat on the bed next to me and held my free hand. “It’s okay,” he said. “We’re here with you, no matter what.”
I nodded and squeezed his hand as I opened the book.
The pages were delicate and smooth in my shaking fingers. They were also blank. I ran my palm down the cool surface, my heart joyful. Mom was still alive. Screw saving the world. My friends still had a chance of finding her before it was too late.
I shifted my gaze from the useless book to Gris’s face and smiled. “She’s okay. Mom’s okay.”
He put his arm around my shoulders.
“Beta carotene is fine for a carnivore with an overbite,” Phil said, scratching his head.
I couldn’t begin to understand what that one meant. I opened my mouth to suggest we call Riley to let him know the good news, and my vision blurred. Phil appeared to have multiple heads, and the room went all swimmy, as if I were in a fish tank looking out.
All the multiple Gris faces sitting next to me frowned. “You don’t look so good. Are you okay?”
I closed my eyes. “I’m a little dizzy. I’m sure it’ll pass.”
And then I was flat on my back, staring up at the ceiling, wondering how I ended up that way. Phil and Gris were each patting one of my hands.
“Come on, Zoey,” Gris said. “Come back to us. Don’t do this. Wake up.”
“Maybe we should get her a wet cloth to put on her forehead or something?” Phil said.
“Yeah. That’s a good idea. I’ll get something from the bathroom. You stay here.” Gris let go of my hand, and the bed shifted.
Phil’s rough, stone hand brushed over my cheek. “Are you okay? Can you sit up?”
I blinked and let him help me to a sitting position.
Gris returned with a wet cloth and placed it on the back of my neck. “Better?”
I nodded. “I don’t know what happened. One minute I was fine, the next it was like something knocked me over.” I stopped and stared at Phil, jaw slack. “Phil?”
“Yeah?”
“Holy shit.” I couldn’t believe it.
“What?” His stony brow wrinkled, scattering rock dust. “Is something wrong?”
My eyes grew wide. “Phil, I can understand you.”
He looked puzzled. “You couldn’t understand me before? Jeez. You could have said.”
Gris drew in a sharp breath. “Oh.” It was a simple word, but conveyed so much.
I followed his gaze to the book still open on my lap. Script covered the pages in clear, black ink. The letters were large, and the words were in plain English.
Tears filled my eyes. “She’s gone,” I whispered. “Shadow Man killed Mom. And now I’m the last.”
* * *
I cried. I cried for a mother who didn’t get to raise me because of the sacrifices she’d made, and I cried for the little girl who’d had to grow up without her. I cried for the time I’d wasted being angry and insecure once I’d brought Mom home safely, and I cried for the memories of sitting quietly in her kitchen sipping tea and sharing happy conversations.
Most of all, I cried for all the time in the future we wouldn’t get.
Phil and Gris sat quietly with me, handing me tissues and letting me work through the initial grief. When I felt more in control, I set aside my sorrow. I knew there would be more tears and more anguish, but we were fast approaching the end. I couldn’t let Mom’s sacrifice be for nothing.
I wiped my face with the damp cloth Gris had brought me, then focused on the contents of the Covenant.
Most of the book was the story of how our world came to be populated with Hidden, how the story ether birthed new Hidden from the creativity of humans and how those creatures evolved. And it told of the meeting between the First Hidden and the First Aegis and how, together, they forged the Covenant that would shape the rules of our world.
The Covenant itself was toward the back of the book, and was only a few pages. As I’d suspected, t
he Hidden governments around the world—including our own—had sprung up long after the Covenant had been written. As much as the government officials had wanted to think they had something to do with it all, they didn’t.
But I did. Or rather, the last Hidden did. Except the Last Hidden was intended to be a natural occurrence. As the Hidden evolved and grew less dependent, the need for Aegises to care for them would ease, and fewer new Aegises would appear over the generations.
The intent of the Covenant had been that when only one Aegis remained, the Hidden would be ready to open a portal and step into a new world—one where they would be the dreamers, feeding their own ether of story. According to the Covenant, humans had been created the same way from the djinn world. I was a little ashamed that humans in this world were such a danger to djinn. Would the Hidden capture humans for whatever reason when they finally had their own world?
I smiled. Kam would be thrilled to find out her people had told stories of humans long ago and brought us into being. I’d never hear the end of it.
In fact, it had been Kam who’d pointed out what was wrong with Shadow Man’s actions—that he was glitching. Not only had he pushed his own creation into premature being, he’d also been trying to force the evolution of the entire Hidden world.
And now, I was the only one who could stop him.
I closed the book and stretched the sore muscles in my neck, glancing at the clock. I’d hunched over the book, reading, for over an hour and a half, while the guys kept watch over me and everyone else searched the woods.
They could stop searching. I knew where he was now. I knew where Mom was—though it was far too late to save her. And I knew where the Simurgh would be when it was over.
At the thought of the giant bird, the sound of beating wings whooshed in my ears, and a soft breeze blew against my cheek. She was watching. Waiting.
I left the book behind. Its secrets were now in my head and my soul. I wouldn’t need it anymore. “Come on, guys.” My voice was scratchy from tears and disuse. “Let’s finish this.”
Phil and Gris followed me out of the house without asking any questions. We marched down the porch steps together and toward the woods. Bruce and Simone galumphed beside us, falling into step.
“Is it time?” Bruce asked. It was odd hearing words from him, because I could also hear the snorts and grunts at the same time. The words were in my head.
I nodded. “Yes. It’s time.”
“We’ll be with you all the way,” Simone said.
We marched onward.
At the tree line, Maurice and Sara met us. “We haven’t found her yet,” Sara said. “Don’t give up hope.”
I gave her a sad, grateful smile. “Thanks. But she’s gone. I felt her go.”
Maurice’s face crumpled. “No.” The single word was quiet but filled with emotion.
I touched his shoulder. “I know. But first we have to finish this. Can you hold it together for a little bit? For her?”
He nodded and sniffed. “Yeah. Yeah, I can do that.”
We continued our march.
Tashi fell into step next to Phil, and Nick and Mari joined a moment later with baby Fern. I glanced over my shoulder and noticed Molly and Walter, along with all their kids, had added themselves to the procession and were riding on the shoulders of several of our friends.
We marched on toward the center of the woods and found Kam, Darius and Riley waiting. Rene, Janey and Toby sat on a rock not far away. Around us, other faces appeared, filling the space and bolstering my strength.
“Where’s Silas?” My voice cracked and I cleared my throat.
Silas popped into existence before me. “I’m here, Aegis.”
I spun around the clearing, taking in all the creatures surrounding me. “I love you all.” I smiled. “I will do whatever I can to set things right. And if I don’t, you’ll all be among the first to enter into the new world. Take care of each other if I fail, okay?”
Riley moved to my side and placed his hands on my shoulders. His eyes were filled with worry, fear and a film of tears. He started to speak, but his voice caught. He cleared his throat and tried again. “You won’t fail. What can I do to help? What do we need to do?”
I stepped inside the circle of his arms and rested my cheek against his shoulder, inhaling his scent to give me strength. He drew back and tilted my chin so he could capture my lips with his. I tried to put everything I felt for him into that kiss, in case it was the last. It went on forever, but probably only lasted a moment, there in the company of everyone we loved, and the finality of it pricked my eyes with hot tears.
I released him and stepped back. “I love you so much, Riley. I need you not to do anything, though, okay? I have to do this. No matter what, you need to do nothing.”
My gaze flicked to Darius. He knew Mom was gone. I could tell by the set of his shoulders and the way he refused to look at me. He was in his own personal hell, and I couldn’t ask him to do anything more. Not right now.
Sara stepped up next to Riley and gave me a quiet nod. She wouldn’t let Riley interfere. “What are you going to do?”
“The Simurgh told me the only way to win was not to fight. I’m going to not fight until I win.”
Riley put his hand out to touch me, but Sara stopped him. “Come on, Riley. You need to let her do what she’s got to do.” She took him by the elbow and led him a few feet away.
I watched, my stomach clenching with nerves. Riley and I exchanged a long look filled with love and concern, then I returned my attention to what I had to do.
“Silas, stay with me,” I said.
He gave a quick nod and moved closer. “You need me to give him bad luck?”
“No. I need you to see him with me. He can do what you do—allowing only certain people to see him. See him for me. He won’t be able to hide from you. Once you see him, I think you can keep him from staying hidden from everyone. I need him to be seen.”
He leaned closer and spoke out of the corner of his mouth. “Why didn’t you ask the reaper to do this, then?”
I bent closer to his ear. “Because I need someone who will watch for him, but not try to stop him.”
His gaze flicked to Riley standing under a tree with his hands jammed in his pockets and looking miserable. “Gotcha.”
“All right. Let’s do this.” I folded my legs beneath me and sat on the ground on a bed of pine needles. “Keep your eyes peeled, Silas.”
I opened my shields completely, leaving myself vulnerable to the emotions of every single person around me. If I lived, I’d probably need a gallon of Andrew’s migraine tea to avoid the hospital. If I didn’t live, it didn’t much matter.
I felt their worry, their fear. But more than anything, I felt an overwhelming amount of love and support that buoyed me and gave me strength.
We waited in the woods for a short time in total silence. No one moved or spoke. No squirrels chittered and no birds sang. A whirring of wings caught my attention overhead, and a scarlet bird with a long, trailing tail landed in the branches. I smiled. The phoenix had arrived to watch. My phoenix. My Aggie.
A moment later, a tiny orange-and-green tropical bird landed next to her. I had no proof but I knew in my heart the little bird was my mother. I swallowed my tears and looked away, a contented smile touching my lips.
The forest fell silent again as we waited. The sound of crickets was gradual—first one off in the distance, then another joined it a little closer. Soon, the sound was all around us. I shivered, then straightened my spine. I would not show fear. I took a deep breath and blew it out. More importantly, I needed to not feel fear, either. It wasn’t easy.
Shadow Man was coming.
Chapter Twenty
I figured I’d be able to see Shadow Man myself when he approached. I needed Silas there to mak
e sure everyone else saw him, too. Reading through the Covenant, I’d come to understand Shadow Man better than I’d have thought I could—especially since he wasn’t actually named in the book.
But the book did talk about how various Hidden sustained themselves. The more evolved the creature, the more mundane their food source. The least evolved fed on emotions. Without knowing it, Darius backed up this claim. Mothmen were fairly new in folklore and, while Darius sat down to meals with us every day, he could also feed off fear. The fact that he could do either showed that his kind was already evolving, yet hadn’t advanced to the point where the urge and ability to consume fear was gone.
Shadow Man was utterly un-evolved, therefore he took all his sustenance from emotion. But not fear. Absolutely, he was terrifying to behold. In fact, as he walked toward me in the woods, weaving through a crowd of oblivious Hidden, he unhinged his jaw and elongated his face in an attempt to make me scream.
But I was an empath. I knew what emotion he craved. And I was the absolute last person he would ever get it from.
Shadow Man fed on isolation and loneliness.
Each time someone saw him and no one believed her, that person felt isolated. When the school kids were in a hole in the beach with search parties all around them looking in the wrong place, they were isolated. When Ashley and Miles were stuck in the attic with no hope of rescue, they were isolated.
When my mother went out alone into the woods, she purposely isolated herself, and Shadow Man must have fed on her until she was an empty shell.
But I wasn’t my mother. I was never alone. I was never isolated.
“Silas?” I kept my body still, refusing to stand and run, though every muscle in my body screamed to get off my ass and get moving.
“I’m working on it.” His eyes squinted in concentration. “I don’t know if I can do this.”
“Just try.” My voice was calm, though my heart raced.
Phoenix in My Fortune (A Monster Haven Story Book 6) Page 19