by Shona Husk
He nodded, knowing exactly what she meant. He’d thrown himself into Court politics instead of facing up to yet another failed relationship. He sucked at these things far more than the average fairy. But then, his relationships had far more pressure than the average fairy. Yet he also knew he wouldn’t stop trying to find love right up until the last second of his deadline.
***
Jacqui chewed and thought. She was quite happy that he hadn’t shown the slightest bit of interest in Ash, but then she hadn’t expected him to. It had also gotten Ash off her back. Jacqui had learned something of fairy games from Felan when they’d been together. “I’m glad you know the truth. I wanted you to know for so long, if only so you wouldn’t blame me.” She’d also hoped he’d be able to get rid of the monsters she now knew were Greys, but that wasn’t to be. “And while it’s nice to see you again, why are you here?”
He hesitated, looking at his coffee before looking up at her. “It was always you I wanted on the throne next to me.”
She blinked, sure she’d misheard. “You wanted me to be Queen? Of Annwyn?” His plan had been for them to live there? “I thought you wanted to live here.”
Felan frowned. “I can’t do that. I thought you understood I would be King.”
“I did, but I thought you didn’t want that.”
“Some days I don’t, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to walk away.”
She leaned back in the wooden chair and stared at him. He hadn’t come back to find out the truth…or maybe he had, but it was only part of the reason. He’d come back because of Annwyn. Because he wanted her to be Queen of the fairies. “You only came back to me because of Annwyn.”
“It’s in trouble.”
She shook her head. “It’s always Annwyn. It always was and always will be. Can you hear yourself?”
“You never used to care when I talked about it.”
“That’s because I was young and gullible. You’re a workaholic and you don’t even realize it. You call it duty, loyalty, saving the frigging world. What do you want? Why did you, not the Prince, come back?”
She needed to know that he’d come back because he loved her, that he’d missed her, something other than the expectation that she’d help him with Annwyn. She could fill in the gaps now, and she knew what he wasn’t saying—which was good, because she didn’t actually want him to ask in case she accidentally agreed. There was no way she was ever leaving the mortal world to live in Annwyn.
“I thought I’d been in love before you, but it was only after we were over that I realized what we’d had and what I wanted.”
Jacqui raised one eyebrow. “But it took you years to realize it.”
Felan leaned forward, his coffee forgotten. “Time moves differently.”
“So you say.” He had the same excuses even after all this time. It was infuriating yet strangely reassuring. He hadn’t lied to her all those times. It had always been the truth.
“You want to go and find out for yourself?”
“No. Because I might never return. I don’t want to live in Annwyn. I had always hoped we’d have a normal life here.” She really had been young and dumb. And desperately in love. Even now, just sitting with him made her heart flutter. When he smiled, it was just for her. It was easy to remember why she’d fallen for him.
“If I wasn’t Prince, I would.”
“You have always got a reason.”
“Jacqui, how long do you think we would have lasted if I lived here? I wouldn’t age and die, yet I would be forced to watch you age and die. I don’t want that—you wouldn’t want that. You would come to hate me.”
She glanced away and busied herself with another bite of cake. How could she have overlooked his immortality? It had been one of the things they’d never really discussed, along with where they would actually live. “You can’t become human?”
He shook his head. “If I walk away from Annwyn now, I will be banished or exiled. Probably banished, which means I will become a Grey.”
A Grey—like the monsters she’d seen. Withered and ugly. She didn’t want to see him like that. She was used to his beauty, his light, and Greys had none of that. “I didn’t realize. And if you’re exiled?”
“That is a social death. I would be unable to return to Annwyn, but I wouldn’t be cut off from its power. The woman who wants to steal my throne won’t let me walk away easily. She would probably prefer my death.” He picked up his coffee and finished it.
He didn’t seem bothered that it would be lukewarm at best, more likely cold. She tried not to think about him being cold and dead. She’d never wished him dead, even when at her lowest. “Can she really steal the throne?”
“If she wins enough support. You had planned on asking me to give up the throne.” There was a glimmer in his eye, as if he’d just caught her out.
She glanced away. “I’d hoped that you would without me asking, that you’d love living here and love me so much that you’d do whatever it took to make me happy.”
“I always wanted to make you happy.” He took a breath and then placed his hand over hers. “Would you be my Queen if I asked?”
His fingers were cool against her skin, but a shiver of heat traced through her body at his familiar touch. She’d never be able to forget him, but she didn’t think she could ever be with him again. Maybe once, she would have agreed to be Queen, if things had gone well and she’d realized that he was never going to be able to live here. “No. I have spent the last seven years rebuilding my life. Not even you can undo the damage or time that has passed.”
“We could start over.” There was that smile, the one that could derail all of her good intentions, the one that warmed her blood like she was standing in the sun and basking in its heat.
She knew if she lingered too long she’d get burned. “To what end? We both know it will end badly again.”
“It doesn’t have to.”
She pulled her hand back and crossed her arms. “If I do what you want. If I go to Annwyn and give up everything I want. Is that about right?”
He clenched his jaw and looked away. She doubted he was watching the sunlight on the waves.
“You would be asking me to give up my whole life.” The very thing she’d once thought he’d do for her. It seemed neither of them was able to make a compromise. “You could have any woman you wanted. I’m sure many would like to be Queen of Annwyn.”
He looked back at her. “But I don’t love them.”
Her heart did an erratic dance, and spun. Her lips curved and the words to reply automatically formed on her tongue. When she met his gaze, the words froze. In his pale green eyes, she saw so many shadows. Love shouldn’t be followed by so much darkness. It should make you happy, not afraid. When she’d been around him, she’d always felt safe and loved and happy. Even now, she was tempted to give him another chance—right up until she remembered he was fairy and wanted her to go to Annwyn. Even now, he wasn’t telling her everything.
“I can’t trust you.”
“I won’t take you back to Annwyn without your permission. No tricks or glamours. Can you at least think about giving us another try?”
“It’s not us that concerns me. It’s everything else.” She couldn’t imagine being surrounded by fairies all the time. If being in Annwyn didn’t make Felan happy, how was she supposed to like it? She was human, not fairy. And compared to them she would be dull and boring. A waitress couldn’t be Queen.
“I have twelve days, Jacqui. I’m running out of time.” For a moment, he looked tired and worn out, as if his long life was catching up with him.
“Why twelve days?”
“The magic is failing and damaging both worlds.”
“Right.” So he’d come to her to save the world—worlds. She could barely keep her life together. How did he expect her save the world and rule Annwyn?
“Read the paper, watch the news. Tell me what you think.” He stood. “I’ll come back tomorrow.”
“I’m not working tomorrow.” She glanced up at him. Should she have told him that?
“Then I’ll come to your house. Seven okay? Maybe we could go out somewhere.”
“Like a date?” He was asking her out on a date? When had they agreed to that? She hadn’t even agreed to see him tomorrow, and yet she didn’t want to say no. She wanted to see what he’d do, and she wanted to know more about Annwyn and what was happening. Would he tell her about his life in Annwyn, the parts he’d never shared?
“Only if you want it to be.” He walked around the table and placed a kiss on her cheek.
She turned and her lips brushed his. He smelled the way he always had, like summer and fresh grass, as if she could close her eyes and all her troubles would vanish on a sultry breeze. His lips were warm and tasted like coffee.
Half a second later, she realized what she’d done and pulled back. He gazed down at her, and for a moment she thought he was going to lean in and kiss her properly. She wanted him to. The old lust reawakened, filling her belly with heat, and she was so tempted to fall back into his arms and pretend everything would work out fine.
He brushed a stray curl from her face, his fingers lingering for a moment. “Enjoy the cake.”
Chapter 7
Ash slid into the seat opposite her. “Well?”
Jacqui snapped her gaze from Felan’s back and the way his red waistcoat swung about his knees as he walked away. He always looked good no matter what he wore. However he’d never worn fairy clothing around her before; yet today and yesterday, he had. He wasn’t bothering to change into human clothing the way he once had—although she was sure that he was using a glamour, so that everyone else saw what they expected. For the first time she was seeing him as the Prince.
Her fairy Prince had kissed her. She pressed her lips together, still feeling the heat of his mouth and the taste of his lips. Damn him. He’d done that deliberately. But as much as she’d like to blame him, she’d been the one who’d turned her head and met his lips, revealing how much she still felt for him.
She shrugged, not sure what to say or even how to describe it to Ash. She wanted him, the same way she always had, but she didn’t want the baggage that he came with. She didn’t want to live in Annwyn, and she didn’t want to be Queen. She just wanted a nice, normal life, without fairies or Greys or anything.
“Are you getting back with him? You know getting back with the ex is never good. There was a reason you broke up.” Ash rested her elbows on the table. There was more than a touch of attitude in her tone.
Jacqui sighed. “Our breakup wasn’t simple—it was almost accidental.” If she hadn’t had the ectopic pregnancy and it had all gone well, would they still be together? She’d have a six-year-old child…and be living in Annwyn, according to Felan. Would she be Queen? Or just his wife, waiting for the old King to die? Was that even what happened?
“An accidental breakup?”
She nodded. “We were both young and made mistakes.”
“Someone cheated?” Ash leaned forward as if expecting juicy gossip.
“No. Never that.” She’d had a boyfriend or three since, but nothing that had lasted, and she’d been almost paranoid about getting pregnant again. The idea still terrified her. However, there had always been something missing with the other guy—a snap or sparkle, a longing that pulled when they were apart. With other boyfriends, she wasn’t upset when they went away and had hardly noticed their return. Was that what Felan had meant, that he hadn’t realized how big their love was until it was gone? She drew in a breath. That was what had been missing from her other relationships—love. He still had her heart, and he was keeping it in Annwyn. “I think I still like him.”
She wasn’t going to admit to loving him—she wasn’t sure she still did, but she knew she had, and she thought if she gave him half a chance she would love him again. And if she loved him, she might agree to go to Annwyn. The idea of giving up everything and going to live in a place most people didn’t even know existed made her blood run cold. It was one thing to move across the country, but another to leave the only world she knew behind.
Ash leaned back and pulled her hair out of the bun. Long blond hair fell over her shoulders and she looked even younger. “He still likes you.”
“I know. He said as much.” That made it even harder. The attraction hadn’t died; it had laid dormant, waiting for a chance for the warm coals to catch again and relight the fire. If she kissed him again, it would be like adding tinder. Every touch was like a light breeze, fanning the sparks. And then what?
How were they ever going to make it work when he couldn’t live here and she refused to live there? Maybe they could live between both worlds. He could commute—weekends with her, weekdays in Annwyn. She bit back a smile at the idea and knew it would never work. They were never going to work. No matter how much she liked the idea of being with Felan again, he wanted more than she was prepared to give.
***
He tried not to think of the kiss as he walked to the cemetery to cross back to Annwyn, but his body wouldn’t let it go. No one since Jacqui had heated his blood and made him hungry like she did. It had taken all of his strength not to cup her face and kiss her again, deeper. He wanted to taste her lips, feel her embrace, and revel in desire. Instead, he’d walked away, half hoping she’d call him back. She hadn’t.
However, she hadn’t told him not to come back tomorrow.
At this rate, it would be time for the Yule festival before they got back together. Not fast enough. He had twelve days until his mother was executed. If the veil was in trouble now, that would tear it to shreds. Without a King and Queen, Annwyn would fall, and death would race unchecked across the mortal world. Perhaps it would stabilize after a time and the humans and fairies would take a new direction with their respective civilizations, but he didn’t want it to get that far.
As soon as he stepped through the doorway into Annwyn, he turned around, thought of a different location, and went back to the mortal world to check the rips. The desert sky was hot, and the air sucked the moisture from his skin even though it was early morning. Here he didn’t bother using magic to allow himself to be seen. He just wanted to do his job and leave.
While he couldn’t fix the veil any more without new tears opening up, he was monitoring and contemplating a temporary fix—if it could be called that. The only problem was that the fix meant sacrificing one area to save the rest of the world. How could he choose which country to let die of disease? Which continent should face such devastation? Maybe it was better all countries suffered a little.
Felan walked from the tombs cut into the hill and down to the river Nile. There was no one about, but it was still early. However, in the few days since he’d last checked it, the rip had worsened. The smell made him gag before he even got close. In front of him was dead vegetation clotted with rotting fish. His stomach heaved and he almost threw up. It took several slow breaths to get his stomach to obey. The rip was obviously bad for there to be this much death.
He closed his eyes and reached out, feeling the magic and the death pouring out of the river in Annwyn and into the Nile—all the poison bleeding out and spreading. It was like a festering wound. Even if he bandaged it, without treatment, the patient would die. Both worlds would die. The reeds whispered in the warm breeze that spread the sickly scent of death. He opened his eyes. He needed to check other rivers, determine which ones were worst hit, and maybe see if he could redirect damage there to save somewhere else. That would at least keep him occupied until he saw Jacqui again.
He didn’t know if he was gaining ground with her or wasting time he didn’t have…and yet he wasn’t prepared to walk away. He should have come back sooner. He hoped the mistake wouldn’t cost him the throne—or her heart.<
br />
The sun beat down on him. He shrugged out of his waistcoat and slung it over his arm. He stopped and turned his head. The wind caught in the reeds and made them rattle like dry bones. They had never been that loud before. Then he realized that was the only sound he could hear. He turned around and looked at the river again. There were no boats on it. It wasn’t just the dead fish or the birds lying on the ground. There was no sound of life at all. There should be bustling around the river, boats, and people yelling and singing.
Nothing.
The silence of death echoed around him. The music of the reeds was hollow and mocking.
If this was happening in Egypt, what were the other countries like?
***
Usually Jacqui didn’t watch the news, as it was too depressing. There was never any good news—summer wildfires, war, violence. But tonight she sat and watched, simply to see if what Felan was saying was true. Was the magic failing, and if so, why?
Not that the news would tell her that. She was pretty sure they wouldn’t mention magic or Annwyn. Yet he’d asked that she watch and see what was happening. She could do that; she wanted to do that to understand his world better.
Ash had decided to go out; she’d wanted Jacqui to go, and usually Jacqui would’ve but not tonight. The news started and death tallies ran across the bottom of the screen. The reporter talked about outbreaks of disease, not just in one country but all over the world—smallpox in Eastern Europe, bubonic plague in India, Ebola in Africa, SARS in China, and measles in America.
Jacqui blinked, hoping she was dreaming.
She’d known there was something happening, but she hadn’t paid much attention—there were always disease scares. Some scientist thought something was going to mutate and cause grief, but it had never happened. Until now.
And it was everywhere. It was like the world was suddenly breaking free and all the diseases humans had thought safely contained or eradicated with medicine were back. How was that possible? Panic danced along her nerves, and she wiped her palms on her pants. This couldn’t all be caused by Annwyn, could it? Why now? Why not ten years ago or a hundred years ago?