His eyes were cold. “It is a person. Partly you. Partly me. And notice I haven’t paid you the insult of asking whether you’re sure you are pregnant. You’re too intelligent. And precise, Inspector. Too aware of points of the law. Like Korpanski.”
She gaped. What had he got to do with it?
He put the wineglass down and his hands together. Palm to palm. “Well, I have a career opportunity too. I’ve been invited to Washington DC for a month to learn about gunshot wounds. I’ve been toying with the idea - of going, of not going. Thinking a lot about you and me. I have to let them know soon. Tonight I really couldn’t decide what to do so I thought I’d let you. Well, Joanna, you have decided for me. Thank you very much. It’s only for a month. Initially. I plan to go.”
She was stunned. Matthew - who was always there. “But you haven’t even discussed it with me.”
“I don’t need to. I know enough to know that you need some breathing space. To make this decision about our future you should be left alone.”
And she knew enough about him to know he would not change his mind. Matthew could be the most stubborn of men. “When do you go?”
“I was going to go at the end of the month but I think I’ll go out early to do some sightseeing. I have friends over there.”
“Matthew,” she pleaded. “Help me in this. Help me decide. You owe it to me.” Anger was bubbling up inside her.
He shook his head sadly. “Oh no,” he said slowly. “This is a decision you have to make alone, Joanna. If you think I’m going to force you into motherhood and then stand by and feel guilty every time the child was ‘inconvenient’ or ‘difficult’ you’ve another think coming. You should understand, Jo, I’m in a cleft stick. Between a rock and a hard place. You have to want to be a mother. You have to decide. All by yourself. You already know what my decision would be.”
She protested. “It should be a joint decision.”
He smiled. “For most couples, yes. But we aren’t most couples. We never have been. You’re too strong to be half of a ‘couple’. If I thought you really wanted input in this decision, Jo, I’d be there for you. But knowing you as well as I do I know you must decide alone. And take the consequences.”
He leaned back heavily in the sofa and looked across at her with a sad face. “I just want you to know this, Jo. No man has ever loved a woman more than I love you.”
She took some pleasure in the fact that he was still using the present tense.
“But I’m afraid you may not find it in you to nurture and cherish our child. Jo,” his eyes were losing that terrible coldness, “if this dreadful case has taught you anything, I would have thought it would have taught you of the dangers of bringing a child into this world, as Madeline’s mother did, and failing in that duty to love and defend it all its life. If you can’t do that I don’t think I can love you. You may call our child nothing but a collection of cells, but to me it is an innocent being, formed by love, so much an inherent part of that love that if you destroy it you destroy our love.”
“What are you saying?” Her voice was lost.
He leaned towards her, his face very close. “You know exactly what I’m saying.”
She sank back against the cushion. It felt like the end of the world.
Matthew slipped away a few days later, a taxi calling for him at four am to get him to the airport in time. Joanna heard the door of the spare room open and close, soft footsteps down the stairs, the rasp of a heavy suitcase being pulled across the rush matting in the hall and finally the front door open and shut and the car pull away into the distance.
She lay, staring up at the dark ceiling.
She was alone.
Again.
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About the Author
Born in Yorkshire and brought up in South Wales, PRISCILLA MASTERS is the author of the popular series set in the Staffordshire moorlands featuring Detective Inspector Joanna Piercy. She has also written several medical standalone mysteries. Priscilla has two sons and lives in Staffordshire. She works part time as a nurse.
By Priscilla Masters
Joanna Piercy series
Winding up the Serpent
Catch the Fallen Sparrow
A Wreath for My Sister
And None Shall Sleep
Scaring Crows
Embroidering Shrouds
Endangering Innocents
Wings Over the Watcher
Grave Stones
Martha Gunn series
River Deep
Slipknot
Other
Night Visit
Disturbing Ground
A Plea of Insanity
The Watchful Eye
Buried in Clay
Copyright
Allison & Busby Limited
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London W1T 6DW
www.allisonandbusby.com
First published in Great Britain by Allison & Busby in 2003.
This ebook edition published by Allison & Busby in 2014.
Copyright © 2003 by PRISCILLA MASTERS
The moral right of the author is hereby asserted in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.
All characters and events in this publication other than those clearly in the public domain are fictitious and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means without the prior written permission of the publisher, nor be otherwise circulated in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition being imposed on the subsequent buyer.
A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.
ISBN 978–0–7490–1639–5
Endangering Innocents Page 19