by Gina Wilkins
Though everything inside Kristin refused to accept even the possibility that Perry wasn’t entirely honest and scrupulous, she couldn’t help thinking of how blasé he seemed to be about money and political favors. The limos and private jet he’d provided for their charity date. The exclusive lunch on Capitol Hill. The frequent visits to her, which involved airfare and rented cars. Perry was a man at ease with spending money, who made no secret that he enjoyed the wheeling and dealing of politics, that he thrived in the spotlight.
He was risking a great deal to remain at the senator’s side, if the television experts were to be believed. If Perry went down with his candidate, it could seriously affect his future desirability as a campaign strategist. After all, politicians wanted to be allied with winners, not losers. Wasn’t that an indication that Perry was motivated by loyalty and friendship, and not his own best interests?
And yet—she remembered him telling her that he thrived on challenges, and that he didn’t like to lose. How much was his own pride and ego tied into his candidate’s fate?
How could she know whether he was also a man who could be trusted? Was he a hero for making a stand he believed in—or a scoundrel who was more obsessed by winning than being right?
The telephone on her desk rang, making her jump and rest a hand over her heart. She hadn’t realized quite how far away her thoughts had taken her until she’d been startled back to the reality of her own quiet office. She picked up the receiver. “Hello?”
“Hi,” his deep voice said quietly. “It’s Perry.”
Just hearing him made her ache.
“How are you?” she asked, concerned by how weary he sounded. “I’ve seen the news reports. The media has really been hounding you, haven’t they?”
“Yeah. Unfortunately, it’s a slow news week. No one seems to have a better story to pursue than this one.”
“How can you stand it? When you left the senator’s office this morning, the reporters were all over you. They shoved so many microphones in your face, and the questions they asked...I didn’t know how you kept from losing your temper.”
“It wasn’t easy.” She thought she heard anger simmering in his voice, a firmly pent-up anger that he was too consummate a politician to release in front of a hungry press.
She moistened her lips, wondering how to ask the questions that had been nagging at her since he’d left her. “Things—well, things look bad for your candidate, Perry. The press seems to have already tried him and found him guilty.”
“I’m aware of that” His tone was cool, and she hoped the coolness was aimed at the media and not at her for bringing the subject up. “I hope the press will be as visible when Leo produces the evidence to clear his name.”
“You’ve found that evidence?” Kristin asked hopefully.
“No,” he said a bit too curtly. “Not yet.”
“Oh.” She tried to keep the doubts out of her voice, but she suspected he heard them. She tried to speak a bit more encouragingly. “I hope you find what you need soon.”
You sound like a moron, Cole, she told herself with an angry, self-directed scowl.
Whatever Perry thought of her comments, he kept it masked when he said simply, “Thanks.” And then he changed the subject. “How’s the book coming along?”
“It’s almost finished.”
“Congratulations.”
“Maybe you’d better hold the congratulations until it is finished,” she answered dryly.
“Superstitious again?” he asked, sounding as if he were trying to recapture the teasing tone he’d used with her before. “Should I send you another good-luck charm?”
“Heaven only knows where I would put another one. But thank you for the offer.”
Her deliberately prim tone made him chuckle. But there was little amusement in his voice when he said, “I miss you, Kristin.”
There was the briefest hesitation before she said in a rush, “I miss you, too.”
And, please, Perry, don’t make me regret the way I’ve begun to feel about you.
“I can’t wait to see you again.”
“When?” she asked, thinking how much easier it would be to judge his true feelings—about his candidate, and about her—if she could only talk to him face-to-face.
“I don’t know. It’s probably better if I don’t visit you for a week or two, until some of this interest in Leo dies down. I wouldn’t want to accidentally drag you into the spotlight.”
“Is that something I should worry about?” she asked, appalled by the suggestion. She knew nothing about politics, and did not want to be put in a position of having to make a comment about what was going on now.
“Not if we’re careful. Once this is behind us, our relationship will only be of interest to the society columnists—not to any hard-news reporters.”
“I hadn’t even considered being mentioned in the society pages,” she confessed. “But I guess anyone you, um, you date would be noted there. You’re certainly known as a very eligible bachelor in Washington circles.”
There was a sudden edge to his voice. “Don’t believe everything you heard at that bachelor auction.”
“So much has changed since that night,” Kristin mused aloud.
“You can say that again.”
“What will you do next—careerwise, I mean?” she asked a bit hesitantly. “Do you have other campaigns to direct?”
“I haven’t finished with this one yet. Kristin, Leo did not accept illegal contributions, and he has not misused any campaign funds. Everything you’re hearing about him is false, manufactured by a desperate and vengeful competitor. I can’t prove that now—but I will. I need you to believe that.”
She wanted to assure him that she believed in him implicitly. That she trusted him. But she had been hurt so badly before, and despite her anger with herself, she couldn’t help but still be wary.
And everything she had seen on the news looked so incriminating toward the senator.
“You don’t believe me.” His voice had a flat tone to it now. If she didn’t know better, she would have thought she’d hurt him with her hesitation.
“Perry, I—” She sighed. ”I don’t know what to believe,” she admitted after a moment. “I told you I don’t know anything about politics.”
“This isn’t about politics,” he answered grimly. “This is about whether or not you’ve learned to trust me.”
Before she could decide what to say to him, a woman’s voice came clearly through an intercom, which must have been close to Perry’s phone. “Mr. Goodman?”
Perry didn’t bother to cover the receiver. “What is it, Anne?”
Kristin heard very clearly when the woman explained, “Jennifer Craig is on line two.”
“Tell her I’ll be right with her, will you?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Kristin—” Perry began again.
She was the one who interrupted him this time, speaking in a rush, trying not to picture the beautiful woman she’d met at the glitzy fund-raiser—the woman who was waiting to talk to Perry. “It sounds like you’re busy there. I won’t keep you.”
“I have a few calls to make,” he admitted. “I just wanted to hear your voice.”
“It was nice talking to you, too. Goodbye, Perry.”
She hung up a bit too quickly, and then hid her face in her hands. She hadn’t been this confused in a very long time—even when her relationship with Jim had ended, she knew the stakes had not been this high. She had thought herself in love that time...this time she had little doubt. But had she given her love unwisely again—or had she really found a hero this time?
THIS HAD TO BE ONE of the worst weeks of his life, Perry thought glumly as he listened to the dial tone buzz in his ear. His friend was in distress, his career was in trouble, his associates had bailed out on him—all except for Elspeth and Marcus, bless their loyal, terrified hearts—and now Kristin had made it clear that after all they’d shared the past few weeks, she still hadn’t learned to trust h
im. She still thought of him as that shallow, manipulative political player she’d described in the character sketch of Nick O’Donnell, damn it.
Well, he wasn’t giving up. Not on Leo, and not on Kristin. He would defend the one and convince the other—but first he had other matters to attend to. He pressed line two on his phone. “Jennifer?”
“Hello, Perry. I hope I’m not interrupting anything.“
There was a time when just the sound of her husky voice had made him want her. Now there was only one woman he wanted—a woman who wasn’t sure she could trust him. “No, I just wrapped up a call. What can I do for you?”
“I wanted to let you know how sorry I am about everything that has happened with Leo. I know you were fond of him.”
“I’m still fond of him, Jenn. And I still believe in him. He hasn’t done anything wrong.”
“Oh, Perry.” She sounded thoroughly exasperated with him—something he was used to when it came to his former fiancée. “Do you always have to be so darned stubborn? You’re going to ruin your career if you don’t get away from this disaster now. I know you. Your career means everything to you.”
“If you really knew me, you would understand that my integrity means more,” he replied quietly.
She sighed. “I care very much about you, Perry. You know that. I hate to see you self-destruct this way. Everyone says Leo is going down and that you will sink with him. I had hoped I could talk some sense into you, but I should have known better. My opinion never mattered that much to you.”
“You’re wrong about that, too. Your opinion always mattered to me. Unfortunately, our opinions just never truly meshed. But I want you to know that I appreciate your concern.”
“Would you like to get together for a drink or something, just to talk about this a little more? Maybe I can convince you how reckless you’re being. ”
His eyebrows lifted in surprise. Suddenly Jennifer wanted to have drinks with him? She’d always resented his dedication to his career; did she think things would be different between them now that he’d encountered his biggest political challenge ever?
He declined her offer graciously. “I’m afraid I’m rather busy now. And I’ll be leaving town for a while as soon as I get things settled here.”
She hesitated a moment, then said, “I’ve heard rumors that you’ve been seeing the woman who ‘bought’ you at that charity bachelor auction.”
“Those rumors are true, though I’d rather keep it out of the news for now.”
“She seemed very nice,” Jennifer said a bit wistfully.
“She is.” Entirely too cautious when it came to him, but nice.
“I see. Well. Take care of yourself, Perry. And think about what I said, will you?”
It seemed to be the day for women to practically hang up in his ear, Perry thought as a dial tone buzzed at him from the receiver. He hung up the phone, feeling as if he’d just finally said goodbye to Jennifer and the dreams they’d once thought they’d shared.
Jennifer had once seemed to have every qualification he’d been looking for in a potential bride—brains, beauty, breeding and a deep interest in politics. But it hadn’t been enough. When it came right down to it, all the things they had in common could not compensate for the things that had been missing in their relationship. Like love. Passion. Need.
Perry had always taken pride in his ability to read people, to size them up and look beyond their facades to the true characters beneath. It was that talent that had helped him align himself with an impressive string of winning, worthwhile political candidates. But with Jennifer, those instincts had failed him.
It was enough to make him start to doubt an assumption he’d had about himself for a long time. Was it possible he’d been a bit smug in his self-confidence? He glanced at the stack of articles condemning Leo and citing the so-called proof of misconduct that had been produced by the opposition. Was it conceivable that Perry had been misled again? Leo had looked him right in the eye and professed his innocence and his outrage—and Perry had believed him.
Was there any chance that he really was making a fool of himself by believing and defending Leo, stupidly destroying his own promising future in the process?
He glanced at the telephone and thought of Kristin. He’d certainly been following his instincts where she was concerned. From almost the first time he’d seen her, he had known he wanted her. By the third time he’d seen her, he’d known it was more than wanting. Sometime during the night he’d spent with her, he had decided that he would spend the rest of his life with her. And he had met her just a little more than five weeks ago.
Now he wondered if he was depending too much on those instincts that had at least once failed him. When it came right down to it, he didn’t really know Kristin that well. He knew she had little interest in politics, and that she’d claimed her views were often different from his own. But just how different were they? How would he feel if it turned out she took an opposite stand on one of the issues he was truly passionate about?
He didn’t know how she felt about children. He wanted kids. If men had a biological clock, his had been ticking pretty loudly lately. Marriage and family had always been in his long-range plans, which was the main reason he’d proposed to Jennifer. He’d been ready, she’d seemed suitable—it had seemed like a good idea at the time. Until she had started pushing him to change everything that made him who he was, making him realize what a mistake he had made.
Perry didn’t even know how Kristin felt about him. He knew she’d started out very wary, skeptical of his motives and reliability. He knew she’d been haunted by memories of the man who’d hurt her before, and that the experience had left her worried about trusting unwisely again. He’d thought he’d managed to convince her that he wasn’t like that other man. That he was a man she could count on.
But she hadn’t been able to hide the doubt in her voice during their phone call. She wasn’t convinced of the senator’s innocence—was she also questioning Perry’s integrity, despite what they’d shared?
He had thought the night they spent together was proof that her feelings for him had changed. That maybe she’d even fallen a little in love with him.
But what if he was wrong?
He groaned and wearily rubbed a hand across his face. His life hadn’t been this messed up in years. Nor his plans this uncertain. And he wasn’t quite sure what to do next. Which wasn’t at all like him.
All he knew was that he couldn’t afford to lose this time—not with Leo, and most certainly not with Kristin.
KRISTIN FINISHED HER BOOK a week later. It was with both satisfaction and relief that she printed the last page. She was more than a month past deadline, but her editor had been very understanding.
It felt good to be finished, but even better to know that the book was good. As she read through it one last time, Kristin felt a sense of satisfaction—rather surprising considering how much trouble she’d had with it. And already she was getting anxious to start her next project—an idea that had intrigued her since it had first occurred to her several weeks earlier. She tried to make it a practice to take at least a week or two off between books—time to read, shop, visit with friends, travel, generally recharge her creative batteries—but maybe this time she would just dive right in while her writing was going well.
It seemed that she had gotten past the dry spell that had affected her so painfully before, though she felt rather superstitiously as if she should knock on wood. And she had settled a few other things in her mind as she’d fleshed out her story—and her hero. She no longer doubted that the man in her book was based directly on Perry Goodman. And somehow during the process of getting to know Nick O’Donnell, she’d made up her mind once and for all about the man who had served as her model.
When her doorbell rang on Friday afternoon, she caught herself almost dashing to the door, her heart fluttering, her pulse racing like an excited schoolgirl’s. Blushing at her foolishness, she made herself slow to a mo
re dignified pace. She took a moment to compose herself at the door, running her hands through her hair, straightening the sleeveless white shirt she wore with khaki slacks, licking her lips to moisten them. Only then did she open the door, smiling—she hoped—serenely.
“Did you lose my number again?” she began, then suddenly stopped when she realized it wasn’t Perry waiting outside.
“Kristin!” A blond cherub threw her arms around Kristin’s waist. “Are you happy to see us?”
Automatically returning the hug, Kristin looked over the child’s head to the attractive man standing behind her. Jim Hooper gave a smile that showed a lot of teeth—a smile she recognized as one meant to ingratiate. She’d seen that smile many times—back when she had been thinking about marrying this man.
11
REMEMBERING THAT KIMBERLY had asked her a question, Kristin answered mechanically. “I’m very happy to see you, Kimberly. Um—what are you doing here?”
“We came to see you. Daddy said did I want to see you and I said yes, so here we are!” Kimberly gave a big smile that revealed a couple of missing teeth.
“Aren’t you going to invite us in?” Jim asked.
As if she could refuse, with his nine-year-old daughter gazing adoringly up at her—as Jim very well knew. “Of course. Come in.”
Kimberly skipped past her. Jim followed more slowly. He paused beside her. “It’s good to see you, Krissie. You look very nice.”
He leaned over to kiss her. She neatly avoided that with a quick sidestep, turning to his daughter, instead. “Goodness, you’ve grown so much since I saw you last. And I think you’re even more beautiful than you were before.”
Kimberly nodded happily and patted her curly blond hair. “I got a haircut.”
“It’s lovely. Would you like a snack? I have milk and oatmeal cookies in the kitchen.”
Rubbing her tummy, the child nodded enthusiastically. “I’m starving.”
Kristin held out her hand. “We can’t have that.”
Kimberly took Kristin’s hand and skipped along beside her to the kitchen, chattering the entire way. Jim followed.