Love Handles

by Candi Heart

  “Well, that sounds wonderful!” Cherry cut me off. “I swear, Nick, you sure know how to run a designer empire!” She laughed and placed her hand on his.

  Nick kept staring at me, seemingly oblivious to Cherry grabbing his hand.

  At this point, I didn’t know if I could sit there. I certainly couldn’t eat now. Just then, the waiter set my salad down in front of me. Yes, what timing Jeff had.

  Chaz shook his head. “Then can you believe this?” He pointed at my plate. “In the tenth? She’s having a salad for lunch!”

  My cheeks flamed with embarrassment as they all stared at me. I stood up and grabbed my purse. No way I could stay here. How had this day gone so badly? “Excuse me.” I inclined my head at Chaz and made my way out the door. Dammit, why did I just do that? Now they knew something was up.

  Chaz caught up with me at the door by grabbing my arm.

  I worried my lip as my hands trembled.

  “Look. I am so sorry.” He sighed and took my hand. “My mouth often goes off at times before my brain can tell it not to, and... I am sorry.”

  Shaking my head, I whispered, “I-it’s just—it has been a flurry of a day, and I—”

  “Miss Swan?”

  Oh, no. I didn’t get away fast enough. I looked up at Nick.

  “Um, Chaz. Please go and keep Cherry company, will you? Have lunch with her,” Nick said.

  Chaz opened his mouth to speak, but at Nick’s expression, he shut it and turned to me. “I hope you accept my apology for being an ass back there?”

  I nodded slightly.

  Chaz smiled apologetically as he turned and walked away.

  I felt those hot, dark eyes on me. I finally braced myself and gazed up at Nick. He looked upset. More so now that I could see it up close. He took my arm and headed to the elevator.

  Oh, shit. I thought.

  He remained silent until we got in. He stabbed the button for the top floor, then stood back as the doors closed.

  I stared forward and caught sight of him standing next to me in the mirror. I certainly didn’t look like Cherry had standing next to him. I looked rather plain not at all like—

  Nick pulled me over to him, spun me around, and kissed me—hard.

  I lost my breath. What the...? I expected to be fired, told off, but not... my body sagged against him as that haze he induced in me took over. My skin was instantly aflame and my panties would not last the day now.

  He devoured my mouth and kissed me like he’d never kissed me before. It was emotional, furious, and felt like he was branding me with his lips. He brought me closer and left no space between our bodies.

  I thought I would die of it, from a kiss.

  DING! The doors opened.

  He let me go and tapped the button again quickly. Then the doors closed again, and he pulled me close. Breathing heavily, all I could do was stare up at him.

  “I was wrong,” he whispered while gazing down at her.

  I gazed into his wild, blazing eyes. “About?” I asked on a breathless sigh.

  “You working here.” His jaw was set firmly.

  I gasped. “Y-you’re firing me?”

  He sighed and stepped back. “I—I’ve never fired anyone.” His voice was low.

  “So, you wish for me to tender my—”

  DING! The doors opened to the lobby.

  I looked out. He’d brought me to the exit. It was my cue. I stepped away from him.

  “Em—” he tried to speak.

  Openly crying now, I stepped out and hit the button on the door. I could see him step forward like he was reaching for me just as the doors slid closed.

  I tucked my purse under my arm, looked up, and saw the desk. Stephanie was absent. Thank bloomin’ goodness! So there would be no one to watch me escape with my proverbial tail tucked between my legs as I stormed out of my dream job.

  Chapter 17

  LIKE AN IDIOT, I RAN down Broadway with tears flowing down my cheeks. What the hell had I been thinking? Sleep with the boss then go to work with him? Then have lunch with a flirty designer who, apparently, Nick disliked? Not smart.

  When he showed up with a gorgeous curvy model... I had almost lost it. I now remembered the woman. She had been on a lot of magazine covers.

  I hopped on the subway. Thank God I had taken my purse with me, as I kept my MetroCard there. I stood among the humanity and sadly gazed around. There were people who looked like dregs here. Some looked like they’d given up hope, while some appeared to be fierce and defensive. Well, I belonged with the ones who’d given up. How could this have gone so wrong? I know how! Dammit! My mother was right! Could this be any more crushing?

  I finally reached my apartment and made my sad, tired, and defeated way up the steps. There at the entrance stood Pamela and Barbie.

  Well, let’s bring it, ‘cause I, the fool, certainly deserved it.

  “Hey, Emilie,” Pamela greeted me.

  I glanced at her without responding, and made my way up. I mentally turned my cheek to get the proverbial slap I knew would be coming.

  Barbie waved, looking a little upset.

  What was this? I looked back and forth at the usually chilly or sneering women.

  “I-I just want to say I am sorry.” Pamela nodded her head.

  “Yes, me, too.” Barbie smiled tentatively.

  “What?” I asked.

  “We were mean. We-we should have been nicer to you. We did not see how... what you really...” Pamela’s words faded.

  “Yes, we—were rude all the time and we never gave you a chance.”

  My eyes filled up with tears. This I could not handle. Give me a chance? I just blew my chance! I cried and slumped down, my butt landing on the steps.

  The two women gasped and sat down on either side of me.

  “Oh, no. Emilie, gosh!” Pamela patted my shoulder.

  “I-I blew it,” I cried.

  “There, there.” Barbie handed me a tissue.

  I realized I was getting solace from the mean girls. How much stranger could this day get?

  “What happened?” Pamela asked.

  I swallowed heavily as I knew I really shouldn’t tell these girls. What if they were lying to me? I’d never live it down. I gazed into their faces. They both looked concerned and sorry. So, I opened my mouth and began to spew verbal vomit. I told them of how Novak had treated me for four years, about my accredited degree going to waste. Then about Nick and my purses, then the job... and then I faltered when it came to lunch. But I then told them what happened.

  Pamela gasped and pulled me in for a hug. “The man is in love with you, Emilie!”

  My head jerked up. “W-what?”

  “Oh, yes, even I could see that. Then you say he kissed you like he did after, in the elevator?” I just nodded. Barbie smiled. “He realizes it and that, and was eaten up with jealousy.”

  “Yes, exactly!” Pam agreed.

  I gazed at each girl “You truly believe that?”

  They both nodded.

  “Now, let’s get you to your apartment, because that man is going to come blazing up here and you need to look your best,” Pamela added. “Get cleaned up and pretty.”

  My new friends pulled me up and led me up the stairs.

  AFTER FINALLY GETTING the two girls—my apparent new best friends—to leave, I sat on my couch. It had been two hours and there had been no calls or a man blazing through my door, as Pamela had put it.

  I grabbed another tissue. Well, they were wrong. He had made no attempt to contact me. I was now without a job, and without Nick.

  The longer I sat here, the madder I got. So it had ended up like I feared. He slept with me, and then he was done with me. He maybe had gotten jealous, but I felt like it was more about Chaz than me. Like maybe, the man had taken a woman from Nick in the past? I sat up straighter... a woman like Cherry! Oh, wow! How could I not have seen it?

  “So, what are you going to do?” I asked aloud to no one.

  My silent apartm
ent gave me no answers. Well, I quit my only job on the promise that Nick had a job for me.

  My first instinct was to run away. Go to upstate New York to my aunt’s. My mother hated Aunt Cecily. That was why I always spent my summers there. Then I realized that the old, scared Emilie would do that. Run away, hide and keep my mouth shut. Not like other women who fought for what they wanted. Jenna had told me over and over, “You gotta stand up for yourself or who else will?” Look at all the crap I took from Novak for years!

  I stood up from the couch I’d been sitting on like some slouch who would sit and eat a half a gallon of Haagen-Dazs when the guy dumped her. So, he figured that he’d gotten rid of me? Well, I figured my career was over now.

  Unless...

  I smacked a hand over my mouth. Unless, I showed up for work tomorrow...

  Fear rippled through me. Shame, too. He apparently did not want me. But I could still develop a line for his label. We just would not see each other personally anymore.

  Would it work?

  I staggered to bed, exhausted from all the crying. Well, there would be no more of that, no more crying. I would hit the bigtime just like I told my mother. I cringed. I almost had to do this, in light of the humiliation I would feel when I hit bottom and had to tell my mother I’d blown it. No! I had to get a backbone. I would show up at 515 Broadway tomorrow at nine. No one knew anything, except Nick, and I had him by the... my thoughts faltered. He would not dare allow anyone to know that he’d hired me, slept with me, then fired me. He would be done in the business after that.

  I climbed into my bed. A place he’d been just two days ago. Well, I was going to be up in his face tomorrow. I allowed fear to float through me, then I shut it down. Never again. No more insecurities, no more panic.

  This is what it means to be your own woman. Look out, Nick Tessaro, here comes your worst nightmare and your most successful designer.

  Chapter 18

  I HIT THE SUBWAY DRESSED to impress. I wore more makeup as well, as I usually wore just lipstick and liner. The crying had made my face washed out and puffy, so I’d sat on the couch for two hours soaking my eyes with cold rags. Even after that, I had to break out my rarely used and expensive makeup. It was the best and something I’d reserved for... What had I intended to use it for? Well, I would be wearing it today as I intended to waltz in, go up, and head to my office. Then I would have my three assistants in my office with my plan for the purse’s line.

  I forced my thoughts away from heartbreak. That would be later or at night when I was alone. He was my boss, as I would think of him as such, referring to him respectfully as Mr. Tessaro. No one was going to kick me and my career to the curb. Not anymore.

  I strode down Broadway and straight up the steps to the lobby. In I went, saluting to a smiling Stephanie, and walked on by. Hell, just the staff here was worth staying for. I hit the button to the top floor with panache. Yes, style and grace. Maybe Sugar had been the right name. Like, shake that sugar! I giggled and rolled my eyes; maybe I was a bit loopy after my ride on the Tessaro roller coaster. Maybe the man had done this little whirl to many of those women he’d been pictured with. Yes, Emilie, harden your heart. Cold as ice and twice as nice. Whoa... I was coming up with some zingers. Well, I’d better, as I was about to blow Mr. Tessaro’s world and mind in a few minutes.

  DING! The elevator announced my arrival.

  Well, it’s showtime!

  I stepped out onto the beautiful swirling marble floor. People waved at me and smiled as they looked up from their work. My three protégées waved at me as I went by.

  I nodded and said, “We’ll have a meeting in an hour.”

  They all looked excited and the two girls even clapped.

  Nodding and smiling, I headed for my office. At the end of the hall, I stopped at my door. Squaring my shoulders, I went into my luxurious office. An office I deserved, or one I would earn at the very least.

  I sat down and then noted my briefcase was open on the table. Did I leave it like that? I pulled it over and stared. The case was empty. My designs! Someone took them? Oh, no. No way! I looked through my desk, which even I knew was dumb, why would they—my thoughts faltered. Yes, there they were in a drawer. I lifted them out and looked through them. All of them were here. Maybe someone had... no, it made no sense.

  A knock sounded on my door. Oh, is it him already? I prepared myself and put on a smooth expression, even though my insides shook like mad. I was ready for this. He would let me stay or else.

  Opal came in wearing a huge smile. “Hello, Emilie.”

  Standing up, I waved. “Hey.”

  The petite woman strode over. “So are you ready?”

  I nodded. “You mean to get started?”

  “Yes. Your assistants have been fidgety and excited since yesterday. I’m also sorry to hear you felt ill yesterday.”

  Oh, that is what Nick told her? Nodding, I cleared my throat. “Um... yes. It was probably nerves.” I then gazed steadily at the woman. “But I am over that now.” My voice proudly came out firm and determined.

  Opal tilted her head and stared at me for a long moment. “Well, if you need anything, call me, as Nick is unavailable.”

  My head shot up. “What?”

  Opal looked troubled. “He, uh, had to take some time off.”

  What? My hands trembled as I placed my designs and some other things I had brought with me on my desk. “I-I hope it isn’t anything serious?” Like really? It could not have been about me. I hope nothing happened in his family. Was that the reason he never came for me? No! Do not go there. That is done and over with.

  Opal shook her head. “I’m not sure. He just looked ill himself yesterday after lunch and told me he had to leave.”

  “Okay. Well, I’m starting with my plan for the Sugar Line”

  “Sugar?”

  I flushed a bit. “Yes, Sugar Clutches. It’s, well, don’t tell anyone, but it’s my middle name, and—”

  “It sounds adorable! I can just see the marketing: Sugar Clutches... Purses so sweet, you will even buy one for Mom!”

  I gaped at her. “Wow! Yes, that is an awesome tag.”

  Opal nodded. “I’m head of marketing. So it’s rather a hobby of mine. I cannot wait to see this.” She grinned and hurried out of the office.

  “Yes, me, too,” I whispered as the pressure to produce overwhelmed me for a second. Then I raised my head and took a deep breath, letting it out slow. Now, to get it started and rolling, so Mr. Tessaro cannot say a thing by the time he gets back.

  And that is just what I did. I had a meeting with my team, laying it all out for them: my six clutches, knowing that only three would cut it in the end. My team ran off in three different directions to get the production started.

  When lunchtime rolled around, my stomach was in knots. Not surprising, considering what had happened the day before. I knew I would just be sitting at my desk with my fruit cup and ice water. My office phone rang, and I stared at it on the desk. I smiled, as it had never rung before. “Hello, Swan here.”

  It was the main print artist asking when I could come down.

  After lunch, of course, I told him.

  Then I ran for the rest of the day as my clutches were started. The entire floor was all abuzz about them. At four o’clock, I finally headed home.

  The day just seemed brighter this commute. I hit the subway with a smile. It had been a brilliant, productive day. Though I never got to see him... Shaking my head, I pushed that thought away, refusing to go there.

  I got home and decided I would celebrate by ordering Chinese for dinner. A twinge of guilt hit me about all the food he had bought, just sitting there. But who cared? I was single businesswoman, about to be full-fledged designer! Oh, wow. After all these years of sketching, fetching, waiting, scratching at my insecurities... It was finally here, finally happening.

  I still felt pangs in my chest about him, but I would push them down or away. I had to. Hell, I wasn’t the first woman to
get screwed, dumped, and then ignored. But deep down, I knew all of it would come back up, someday, and probably at the worst time, too. I just hoped it happened here in my sanctuary where no one would ever see it. But with my luck... I paused. No. You are making your own luck, Em. No more of this weak crap.

  As I sat on my couch after a fabulous Kung Pao dinner, I stared down at my fortune cookie. Yes, the fortune inside was all just tripe, a gimmick. But I cracked it open, genuinely hoping it said something to my about my future.

  “Good fortune shines on your heart.”

  My head rose up. That is a good one, but odd as usually fortune and matters of the heart were not lumped together by the sage wise men of the fortune cookie dynasty. I then laughed aloud. Yes, they were the super oracles, known to be correct when predicting—

  BUZZ. The doorbell rang.

  Raising my head up, I wondered, as no one ever used the bell, they always knocked. My heart hammered in my chest. Could it be? My whole body shook as I stood up off the couch. Okay, now what happened to the zing? The ice in your veins or heart or... Oh hell, I am in trouble again!

  I stepped toward my door. “Just peek in the peephole and if its—” The buzzer rang again and I peeked out. Two smiling faces were there.

  Oh, my new friends. I sighed, squared my shoulders, and opened the door.

  “Hey!” Pamela greeted.

  Barbie waved.

  I stepped aside and let them in.

  “I brought you a fruit smoothie!” Pamela cheered.

  “Oh, wonderful. It will keep me from having ice cream instead.”

  The two women stopped and stared at her, confused.

  I shrugged. They didn’t know about replacing smoothies with ice cream? I giggled and led them over to the couch.

  “So, you know why we are here,” Pamela blurted.

  I nodded. “Yes, I think so?”

  Barbie grabbed my hands, looking hopeful. “Well?”

  Shaking my head, I sighed. “No, he never came.”

  They both gasped, looking absolutely stunned.

  “No way!” Barbie exclaimed.

  “Yes, it was a no.” I shrugged, trying not to appear as hurt as I felt.