by Maguire, Ily
“Our father?” I look at Dory. She frantically nods her head and it looks like it might bobble off of her neck. I didn’t know. Of course I didn’t know.
“ARs that had to do with things like organ failure or other life-threatening diseases were once again deemed necessary,” he continues.
“And ones that weren’t-”
“They were done elsewhere. Traveling replacement pods were set up by different companies designed by the Imperial Bead. They moved around the cities all boasting some specific replacement. If you wanted hair replacement you went to one pod. Worn muscle replacement, you went to another. With the proper licensing, anyone could run their own pod,” Ezekiel states.
“Then how were my parents still able to go to the hospital and have replacements? They were surely not necessary.” Visions of my mother’s long, lustrous hair comes to mind and the number of times they checked into the hospital for whatever work they wanted done.
“Your father was able to push his own ARs through the hospital. He knew they were safer than the replacement pods,” Ezekiel answers. “He was able to pay Dr. Rush on the side to have the replacement done during off hours and then to keep it all quiet.”
“No. I don’t believe that.”
“I overheard him talking to Dr. Rush,” Dory states. “I heard him talking.”
My throat chokes and I don’t want to know anymore.
“He had to make sure no one found out that they were having cosmetic replacements at the hospital. He and Dr. Rush were on the committee of the Imperial Bead that started one of the replacement pods. Rejuvenation Industries.”
I gasp and cover my mouth. The Hollow.
“That’s how The Hollow started,” Ezekiel finishes, sensing my disgust. “It was designed for cosmetic replacements only, but it kept getting bigger. And then it branched out to experiments. Rejuvenation Industries made a lot of money.”
“That’s why Dr. Flint laughed when I said the Imperial Bead wouldn’t do such grotesque things. The Hollow is owned by the Imperial Bead. Dr. Flint works for the Imperial Bead. My father is connected with The Hollow.” The words ramble out of my mouth and I wish my father were here right now to defend himself. Or at least try. He knew I had been captured by The Hollow and he didn’t stop them. He needs to answer to that, despite the fact that Dory doesn’t think I deserve it.
Ezekiel continues, “Then there was an advancement that claimed to be able to replace any human organ with a self-healing one, even if blood types didn’t match. No one had come across a self-healing organ before. It was a breakthrough.
“And it was Dr. Anushree Suresh who came up with the idea. To replace diseased and damaged organs with regenerative ones. These weren’t going to be artificial replacements. These organs would have a longer lifespan than the average human being. They’d last longer. Forever,” Ezekiel tells us.
“Forever if the organs were regenerative. If they weren’t they would just die,” Pike says.
“They wouldn’t get sick,” I state, ignoring Pike’s comment.
“People would no longer need immunizations and if something failed, they could get a new, organic organ that would self-heal,” Ezekiel says.
“But it was unethical,” Pike adds.
“The organ that was removed from one patient was replaced with another. The hope was that the transplant recipient would assimilate the new organ and survive,” Ezekiel responds.
“And the donor-” I begin, to which Ezekiel promptly responds.
“The donor wouldn’t survive. Unless they were given an artificial organ. That’s why they would’ve been harvested first.”
“It was technology Rejuvenation Industries didn’t need to have,” Pike counters. “It used humans like they were commodities. Vegetables in a garden to be harvested and then composted. And they would need quite a few donors to make it successful. They needed living donors. Whoever could provide them with that would be rich.”
“It’s why JJ was testing me.” I recollect his makeshift lab in Aegis. “How did anyone know I was regenerative? I didn’t even know.”
“Dad knew. I overheard him talking about it to Dr. Rush. He’d known all along,” Dory answers, her voice sing-song.
“There had been a clinical trial through The Imperial Hospital and your father was volunteered. To replace one of his organs with a regenerative one,” Ezekiel interjects.
“And you know what he did instead? He volunteered me!” Dory raises her voice. “Removing my organs would’ve killed me, but he had nothing left he’d been ARd so many times.” Her face is red from anger.
“If they had gone through with this trial, there was no intention of replacing them with self-healing ones. They didn’t have any self-healers to harvest. They would’ve transplanted organs that had no potential to regrow,” Ezekiel tells us.
“If he knew I was regenerative, he could’ve used my organs to replace yours with,” I offer.
“He could’ve, but then you would’ve been harvested for those parts,” Ezekiel says. Dory looks calmer. Her face is no longer bright red. “In the original study, seven out of fifteen animal donors died.”
“That’s almost half,” I say. I can’t look at my sister.
“But for different reasons. One animal got sick with infection. Another didn’t make it through the operation. In one instance, the surgeon wasn’t able to complete the replacement because the wrong organs had been provided,” Ezekiel shares.
“But that still leaves four dead subjects.” I do the math quickly.
“Rejected organs,” Pike states.
“They continued with the trial to try to replace organs with non-regenerative ones, but that didn’t work. Despite these mistakes, it still provided reliability for the study and allowed it to be repeatable. Anushree knew the statistics, but she was about to make a breakthrough. The new procedure was almost ready for the first human subject.” Ezekiel clutches my sister’s hand.
“But she could’ve been the one out of three that died,” I calculate. “Especially if the organs going into her body didn’t regenerate.”
“This was a breakthrough in science. She just needed part of a regenerative organ to transplant. Being able to replace organs with parts of organic ones. Your father knew that if it worked, he would be famous. Dory would be famous. You would be spared,” Ezekiel says. “No one would ever have to operate on you.”
My stomach does a flip.
Her eyes well up, but she doesn’t cry. She grinds her teeth. I can see her hurt. I feel it in my own body. I want to comfort her, but I don’t quite know how.
“So if you were set to be the experiment, how did I end up in the hospital?” I turn to Ezekiel.
“You were given a pretty hefty dose of Carbamazepine. It was the only thing Jenny could get her hands on quickly,” Dory tells me, her eyes are dry. Ezekiel rubs her shoulders.
“Jenny?” My mind flashes back to The Hollow, the sound of her voice reverberates down the corridor of my memory.
“She’s the one that tested your blood to see how much you could take. It had to seem authentic that you were being admitted to the hospital. And we needed just enough for you to have the visual symptoms of liver failure like yellow skin, but without actual liver failure. It was an anti-seizure medication,” Dory adds. Despite the insanity of the topic, she sounds completely sane.
“But why? And why couldn’t you say no?”
“Because I paid Dr. Rush to do the replacement.” Her voice is angry again. “He was going to remove part of your liver and regrow it. Then mine would’ve been removed and replaced with part of yours. It would’ve been failsafe, Rose. For both of us.”
I’m embarrassed that I didn’t know how far my sister would’ve gone to keep us both alive. I take a step closer to her. To be closer to her.
“But, Dory, Dr. Suresh’s test wouldn’t have been repeatable if no one knew I was regenerative in the first place. If no one else knew I was regenerative and my organs grew inside your body, t
hen people would be replacing organs with natural ones based on invalid results.” The implications of all of this are heavy and weigh on my own shoulders. Dory takes my hands. My bionic fingers curl around hers.
“You don’t know what it was like, Rose. I wouldn’t have been spared. You were lucky that you didn’t have to see that side of him.” Dory puts her head down and I release her hands, running one of my own over her hair. Tears run down my cheeks and land on her head. I wipe them away with the hand that can’t feel the pain and sorrow all around my sister.
“He was an opportunist,” Pike breaks the silence. Both Dory and I look up.
“So that’s why I was taken to Aegis. It wasn’t because there was some cause. It was so that JJ could come up with a way to harvest my organs and make you all rich, too.” I glare from Ezekiel to Pike, my eyes fixing on Pike. My heart sinks into the pit of my stomach and I can’t tell if I’m feeling hurt or anger. How could he?
“We came to get you because it had gotten out that you were regenerative. Dr. Rush was paid to stall the process while we got you to a safe place. Safe from Dr. Flint or whomever wanted you for harvesting. We hoped we would have the chance to test your cells and regrow them, but-” Ezekiel trails off.
“But your parents ran away, leaving your sister here to fend for herself,” Pike states. I can’t look at him. My hands are back inside my sisters’. She squeezes them tight. “But yes, it would’ve given us the time to figure out how to use your cells without killing you. Aegis is a peaceful community. We weren’t going to keep you.” Pike turns away from me and my heart flips up and then drops back into the pit of my stomach, where it stays.
7
“Things probably should’ve been done differently,” Pike says after a moment pause.
“We should’ve taken you, too,” Ezekiel says, turning to my sister. “I know that now.”
“Then why didn’t you? Why didn’t you tell me you were going to take her when you did? Why didn’t you take me, too? I would’ve gone with you. I would’ve stayed in the hospital and waited for you. We could’ve all gone together.” Dory is crying.
“I’m sorry.” Ezekiel reaches out for her shoulder, but she turns it away. From the side it is skinny and frail, but the motion is a strong one. She has a right to be angry. No one else does.
“We didn’t take you because Rose was a healer.” The sympathy Pike shows washes away the betrayal that he took me to use me. His brow is furrowed and he isn’t looking at Dory. He looks at me. “We knew how valuable a self-healer was. And to have one at Aegis would only help our cause. We never wanted you to get hurt. Either of you. And the ball was already in motion once we got to the hospital. We needed to see Tithonus before getting you back to Aegis. We didn’t exactly know what we would do with you. What we could do with you. But we never wanted to hurt you. I never wanted to hurt you.”
I’m not the one that was hurt. It was Dory. Dory risked her life in more ways than one. She’s the one that should’ve been protected more. Not me.
“You were always safe, Rose. Always watched. Always safe.” Dory gets up and walks over to me, finding comfort in comforting me. She’s the healer. Not me. She reaches up and pushes hair away from my face. Her touch is still soft like her voice. My stomach flutters. She’s so unselfish. Always has been. I don’t move a muscle for fear I might fall to the ground. How could she look at me and still love me?
She turns to Ezekiel and takes his hand. “Didn’t you love me enough to take me with you?”
She loves him. That’s why she’s so hurt.
“It had nothing to do with love and you know that, Dory.” Ezekiel touches her face. “It all happened too fast. But you weren’t operated on. You were saved.”
“Until I was left again.” She takes a step back as if to reveal the remains of our house, of her. “You all left me. You all betrayed me.”
“I’m sorry, Dory. For everything. If I had any idea-” I begin.
“Would it have changed anything for you, Rose?” Dory spits. Saliva drips onto her chin and she doesn’t bother to wipe it away. Ezekiel reaches over and does it for her. While I don’t know how, I know that something would’ve changed. Wouldn’t it?
“I’m sorry, too.” Ezekiel takes her hands and steadies their shaking. “I love you, Dory.” He says it with such ease and she looks up and smiles. He presses his forehead to hers and I hear her whisper it back. All must be forgiven. For now.
“JJ had enough foresight to know that you would be inevitably ruined with any sort of surgery. It was his insight that pushed us to get you as soon as we could. Your sister, in fact, saved you from that fate by communicating with Zeke,” Pike says to me. Dory and Ezekiel aren’t paying any attention.
“But once JJ had me in Aegis, he was willing to test me to see how I could be used. His motives weren’t beneficent,” I say. My mind sees JJ’s room in Aegis and one of our first encounters. Sitting on his bed. Him touching my leg like he wanted something more than my genetic code. “It seems as though everyone has these great ideas about how everything is going to work – how everything should work, but they are just plans. Untested, plans made by a bunch of kids who have no idea about anything. This is all so messed up!”
“He had ulterior motives,” Pike growls. “I agree. But we did what we all thought was right. And we are just a bunch of kids, Rose. Remember that. We’re navigating this just like you. We’re all just like you.”
“Oh, I wish you were all like me. And I wish I were still a kid. I wish I could forget. I wish I didn’t have the experience of being tested not once or twice, but three times. I wish I knew what to do or to say to take care of myself without people having to take care of me, look after me, or protect me. I wish I had my arm, back instead of this-”
My head gets light and the room spins. I slam my bionic arm down on the table and a pain like nothing I’ve ever felt before travels from my palm, up past my elbow to my shoulder. I grab it and wince, tears spilling from my eyes when I no longer see only black and blue stars. I scream in pain.
“Rose, what’s wrong?” Pike rushes to my side and grabs my arm below where I’m clawing at it. I pull at the plastic skin, the sheath that adheres to what was left of my arm.
“Wait! Stop!” Ezekiel pushes Pike aside and pulls my hand away from tearing at my arm. “It’s regrowing. Rose, stop!”
“Oh. My. God.” Dory covers her mouth, a smile spreading across it. I stare at Ezekiel wide-eyed, frozen in place.
“Your arm is regenerating. You never felt that much pain before, did you?” Ezekiel asks. I shake my head. I want to see it. I want to see what’s there. “You have to leave it alone, though. Let it regrow as it needs to. When it’s done, we’ll take this off.” He rubs the upper part of my bionic arm. I can feel it loud and clear.
“How will I know?” I open and close my fist, anxious for a real hand. Real fingers. The need to see inside the machine is strong enough for me to want to take it off. Instead, I rub the cool, non-living material.
“You should feel it. Something more than this.” Ezekiel taps my arm lightly enough that I don’t feel anything. I understand what he’s saying. I need more time.
“I’m sorry, Dory, that Dad gave you up instead of me. And I’m sorry that I was a terrible, needy, clueless sister. I should’ve known what was going on and I should’ve done something to make everything right. I understand now and I hope you forgive me.” I stop rubbing my arm and hold out both hands for my sister to take. She reaches out for me and then in one swift movement, she wraps her scrawny arms around mine and hugs. Tight.
“And I’m sorry that I didn’t inform you. You should’ve had some control over your fate.” Dory looks at me and smiles. She then becomes serious, her smile turning straight again. “Dad was angry when you were taken. The trial was still set to take place, this time with Evie. She was supposed to be regenerative, too. Dr. Rush was going to take one of her organs and give it to me, but during the operation something went wrong. Mom and
Dad moved me down to the quarantine room where I stayed for, I don’t know. I don’t know how long. They took off. I don’t know to where. They’ve been gone ever since.”
“And Evie. She was never here,” I state.
“No. Dr. Rush ended up replacing her organs with artificial ones. Her lungs, stomach, heart. Mom and Dad were gone and I got to the hospital to see her. The thing is, she doesn’t heal like you do, Rose. She isn’t regenerative. She’s been in the hospital ever since.”
“Ever since I disappeared,” I reiterate just to be clear.
“But she’s fine. She’s being taken care of. She’ll get better.” Dory’s voice starts to sound the way it did when I first saw her. For a moment she sounded normal. She shakes her head from side to side.
“How long ago was that, Dory?” I ask. I wonder if she really knows.
“About a month. Since you left.” Her math is wrong. Confusion has returned. She walks over to Ezekiel. His outstretched arms welcome her. “It was last month, wasn’t it?”
“No, Dory.” I walk over to her. Pike stares at the monitors. I ignore whatever it is he’s looking at.
“It’s been over a year. You left her in the hospital over a year ago.” Ezekiel pulls Dory in as her face changes from a blank stare to the realization that much more time has passed. Her body goes from a slight tremble to a full on shake. He wraps his arms around her and sways. It seems to work. He continues, “After her operation, Hara was checking in on her. When we went back for her, your sister wasn’t there. We assumed you came to take her home. I hadn’t heard from you otherwise.”