by T. I. Lowe
Leah couldn’t help but ask, “What was his name? Do I know him?” She mentally reviewed all of the leading men during the golden age of Hollywood.
“Oh, I doubt it. He was just starting out when we met. His name was Gabriel Banks. Oh and how he was such a catch.” Lulu reminisced.
“What happened?” Leah hated to ask, but knew it was coming—the unhappy ending.
“A stupid war is what happened. The nonsense took him away to some foreign country and never gave him back.”
“I’m so sorry, Lulu,” Leah whispered, unsure of what to say or do.
“All I wanted was to die too. I didn’t know how sharp pain really was till then. Most people know pain, but some of us have been pulled into a much deeper darkness of it. I wish that pain on no one. I’m sorry you know all about it too.” The two women looked at their hands in silence for a while.
“No glass of liquor… No extra dose of pills… Nothing could take the pain away in those dark days of my life. I learned quickly that the pain always grew a bit worse afterwards.”
“So what did you do?” Leah asked, wanting a great secret on how to cope.
“I decided to take the pain fully on and endure it. Sometimes you just have to surrender to the nightmare and live in it for a while. Trying to fight against it can be fruitless,” Lulu said before finishing the last of her milk.
“Gee, that sounds like such a fun idea.”
“Honey, there’s nothing fun about pain, but you have to face it in order to heal from it. It wouldn’t hurt you to ask God for some help. It wouldn’t hurt for you to trust me or one of your other friends around here enough to confide in.”
Leah shook her head.
“You think it’s easy for me to confide in you about losing the best thing I ever had in such a barbaric manner? No ma’am, but I trust you. I want you to figure out how to trust me too.” Lulu gathered her plate and glass and carried the dishes into the kitchen. She left, just as quietly as she had entered, without another word to Leah.
Leah sat a while longer. She knew Lulu was right. She needed to face it and she needed to confide in someone, but she just wasn’t ready to take on the challenge of it. Feeling rebellious, she snatched the bag of brownies and stomped up the stairs. By the time she reached her apartment door she had inhaled at least a half dozen brownie bites, trying to fill the void.
Leah headed straight to her bedroom to prepare her suitcases for escape. She reached for another brownie while packing and made the mistake of looking in the full-length mirror by the window. She was at mid-bite and was disgusted at the mirror’s unrelenting tale. It reflected a bloated, red-faced, mess of a woman. A ghost of what she could potentially be. She despised what the mirror shared with her. She desperately needed the mirror to tell her a new story.
“This has to stop,” she whispered to the reflection staring back at her, still holding the brownie. She repeated to herself, more sternly, “This has got to stop.”
Leah returned the bakery bag back to the café. Once back upstairs, she brushed the sin out of her teeth and crawled under the covers, where she cried until the sun announced the arrival of a new day. Instead of feeling better, Leah felt achy all over. Her nose was congested, and her eyes swollen and bloodshot. Trying to be roommates with pain was unbearable. Needing some fresh air, Leah pulled on her sneakers and headed out the door into the still-sleeping town.
Leah walked for long stretches that morning, and when the pain of memories or thoughts would surface, she would strike out in a sprint. She refused to slow her pace ruthlessly until the only thought was about the burning in her lungs or of the screaming in her calf muscles. She kept it up for an hour, before she limped back to her apartment and collapsed on the sofa out of pure exhaustion for the remainder of the day.
The exercise soon became part of Leah’s daily routine after work. During that hour of exercise, she was freed completely from the captive chains of her nightmares. The feeling at the end of each session was a reward of rejuvenation and peace.
She was sick of feeling weak and incapable. “Strong,” she would repeat. “I will be strong.”
By mid-March, Leah felt truly strong, physically. Her walk/run routine evolved into a steady hour-long jog. The beautiful southern countryside was filled with boundless treasures to be discovered. Her chosen route took her by the exquisite gated entrance to the Big Oaks Plantation. Leah always slowed her stride a bit so that she could check out the stone archway and the grand oak trees towering overhead. She always held the hope that one day the gate would be left open so she could peer further into the plantation’s mystery.
****
Just as she was finally building some confidence, fear struck Leah out of the blue one spring night. She had already gone to bed when she was jolted awake by sirens blaring through the hushed town streets. With her heart in her throat, Leah bolted to the living room window and peeped out as the flashing blue lights of three county cop cars zoomed by. She sprinted over to the kitchen window in hopes of seeing them continue to go by, which—thankfully—they did.
“No, no, no,” she whispered into the dark as panic settled in. She grabbed a glass of water and waited for the walls of protection she had been hiding behind for the past five months to come crashing down. Twenty minutes later, a state trooper followed in the path of the other police cars. Leah knew this wasn’t good. Not good at all.
Knowing that too many officials were crawling all over town, Leah couldn’t just leave. Her only choice was to stay and wait it out. Scared beyond belief, she did the only thing that came to mind. Leah hid in the closet.
She knew that someone would be there knocking the door down eventually, so she sat in the cramped space and waited, trying to slow her racing heartbeat. Hours later, Leah unfolded herself from the closet and climbed into the shower to try to undo all of the pointless knots.
By four-thirty, Leah was down in the café with the coffee brewing and the ovens heating up for the morning muffins. Lulu joined her shortly after, and the two women fell into their daily routine as if they had done it for several years together. They were a very efficient team, and Lulu took pride in that fact.
Crowley made his way through the door around nine that morning, looking worse for wear. He had on his lawyer getup of a designer suit and silk necktie, though his tie hung loosely around his neck, undone. His hair was still wet from a shower and his eyes were beyond exhausted. He sat on a stool and rested his head on the counter.
“Wow…Wild night?” Leah asked as she poured him a cup of coffee.
“You have no idea,” he said.
Lulu delivered some plates of breakfast to a table and then headed over to give Crowley an inspection. “What’s ailing you, boy?”
“Jessup Barns,” he replied before taking a gulp of coffee, which Leah immediately refilled. She worried about him appearing in court that tired and figured it would require a large quantity of caffeine for him to pull it off.
The two women waited for him to elaborate, but he seemed to doze off with his eyes open.
Lulu banged her knuckles on the counter with several rapid taps. “Wake up and tell us what’s going on.”
Crowley rubbed his hands over his eyes and tried to explain. “That blatant drunk crashed through a couple of Old Man Stevens’ fences and then proceeded to take out about a half a field’s worth of strawberry plants.”
“With his tricycle?” both women asked at once.
Crowley propped his elbow on the counter and cupped his face on his hand. He slowly rolled his eyes at the naïve speculation. “No. A car. Old Man Stevens’ car. And he ended up flipping it.”
“Oh, mercy!” Surprise registered on Lulu’s face. “Did he get hurt?”
Crowley shrugged. “Who knows?”
“What do you mean by that?”
“Me and half a dozen cops spent all night looking for the punk. We searched every barn and field at the Stevens’ farm. Then we searched the patch of woods beside where he wrecked. T
wice . . . I guarantee that scoundrel was up in one of the trees watching us the entire time.”
“When did you call the search off?” Lulu asked.
Crowley checked his watch. “About three hours ago.”
Leah hated the ordeal for Crowley’s sake, but she relieved those blue lights weren’t for her after all. She instantly relaxed and began putting Crowley’s breakfast together. He rarely ordered anything specifically, so Leah took cues from Lulu as to what to fix him. Normally, she would slide him an extra portion without Lulu seeing it.
Crowley noticed her working away at preparing him some food. “Leah, can I get that to go, please. I’m due in court soon.” His voice was husky from exhaustion.
“Sure thing,” she said as she cooked a couple of egg whites.
Crowley placed his head back on the counter and began snoring instantly. Ten minutes later, Leah had Crowley’s breakfast sandwiches assembled and was about to slide them in the bag, when she spotted him.
Jessup pulled his liquor-cycle close to the front door and slowly dismantled himself. He limped inside and went straight over to the counter, where he had the audacity to sit right next to Crowley.
Jessup’s stench roused Crowley out of his dozing. He lifted his groggy head and stared at Jessup with a deadpan expression. “You have got to be kidding me.”
Lulu made her way back to the counter where she looked the grungy little man over. He was quite dirty with cuts of various depths and lengths all over his exposed skin. One of his wrists looked pretty banged up, and he was sitting in a way that revealed he was starting to feel the hurt of the wreck.
“What in Sam Hill happened to you, Jessup?” Lulu asked.
“I fell off my bike,” Jessup said.
“More like a car,” Crowley muttered as he shook his head and exchanged a knowing look with Leah.
“What you doing out this early?” Lulu continued.
“I just got up early and thought some of your coffee sure would hit the spot,” Jessup said, forcing a smile as his hands trembled.
Lulu suspected he was trying to make an appearance, thinking it would prove him innocent in the whole fiasco.
“You better give Jessup my breakfast, Leah. It might be a while before he has something fitting to eat again,” Crowley said in a tired voice.
“Wwhat yyou mean bby that Ccrowley?” Jessup began squirming on his stool.
Crowley didn’t answer him. He just sat up and started knotting his tie. Leah took this as his cue that he was about to leave, so she poured a tall to-go cup of coffee and placed a freshly baked blueberry muffin in his bag. She then placed a stale muffin in a bag and handed it over to Jessup. She was intending to feed it to the ducks at the park later. There was no way she was going to hand Crowley’s breakfast over to that drunk.
“Thank you, Miss Leah,” Jessup said as he slowly slid off the stool. He looked towards Crowley, with intentions of wanting to apologize. He changed his mind when the tall man glared down at him. Instead, Jessup just quietly limped out the front door, climbed back on his man-sized tricycle, and pedaled down the side street.
Crowley walked over to the window to watch Jessup go by. He pulled out his cellphone and dialed the sheriff. “Hey Danny. You’re not going to believe who is about to pedal his drunk self right past the police station.” He paused and listened for a few moments. “I know. After all that, the idiot is practically turning himself in. Look, do me a favor and get a doctor to look him over before you arrest him.” Crowley nodded as he listened to Danny. “Thanks man,” Crowley said before hitting the END button and pocketing his phone back into his dress coat.
Crowley walked back to the counter to collect his food and then headed out the front door to his truck parked at the curb.
Leah hollered at him right before the café door closed behind him. “Hey Crow!” He turned back towards her with a disoriented expression as she pointed at his feet. “You might want to change those before going into the courtroom.”
Crowley glanced down at his feet and found that he had put his flip-flops on instead of the dress shoes. “Good call, Lee. Thanks.” He rushed over to place his breakfast in the truck before jogging over to his townhouse. A few moments later, he rushed back over to his truck. Spotting Leah through the window, he waved his briefcase, shaking his head for forgetting that too. She laughed and gave him an encouraging wave.
Lulu came to stand by Leah at the counter. “I saw what you gave Jessup for breakfast.”
Leah shrugged, because she really didn’t care. “There was no way I was going to hand that drunk Crowley’s breakfast after what he put the guy through last night. At least I didn’t spit on it.” Leah huffed and headed to the kitchen.
Lulu chuckled at how much the young woman and she were a lot alike.
Chapter Sixteen
Ana came by the café a few days later, demanding the full scoop from Lulu and Leah about the Jessup fiasco. Leah filled her in on the dreadful mess. The police had arrested him after a doctor patched him up. Since it was a repeated offense, the court decided it was in Jessup’s best interest to spend some time in prison.
“Well ladies, we are about to have all kinds of excitement in this little town,” Ana said as she eyed Leah’s outfit. “We’ve got to get you some new outfits for the big event.”
Leah felt her cheeks grow warm as she tugged at her bulky top. “What are you carrying on about, Ana?”
“Spring break!” Ana bounced up and down on her stool like a giddy child.
“I thought you were telling us news.” Lulu laughed. “Spring break happens every year.” Unimpressed with the subject, Lulu strolled over to catch up with some of her customers.
“What’s so great about that?” Leah asked as she handed her friend a glass of iced tea.
Ana took a long sip. “Thank you, honey.”
Since being on the receiving end of Crowley’s cold shoulder, Ana had attached herself to Leah for company. She had recently admitted to Lulu she adored the woman, even though she was too tall for her liking.
“Crowley’s herding in his college fraternity brothers for a weeklong spring vacation. I’m talking about prime real estate here. Single, successful guys our age who are ripe for the picking.” She eyed Leah’s bland, oversized attire once more. “Honey, we have to get you some prime picking outfits.”
An hour later, Ana was still harassing Leah about her wardrobe while Leah continued to prep for the lunch crowd. Leah kept complaining that Ana needed to go do something more productive, but Ana had one of her helpers covering the boutique for the day. She said she had nothing better to do than to advise Leah about her awful wardrobe.
“What’s wrong with the clothes I already have?” Leah asked.
“They all look like they are swallowing you whole. I mean, seriously, are you safety pinning them suckers to hold them up?” Ana asked as she leaned over the counter like a kid and tried to yank on Leah’s pants.
Leah scooted out of the way. “Hey! Cut that out!” Leah was using safety pins to hold her pants up but had no intentions of admitting that to anyone.
Ana kept trying to grab at her giggling friend. “I’m gonna sneak upstairs and steal all of your clothes and burn them suckers. Then you’ll have to get new ones that actually fit.”
Leah laughed as she kept batting Ana’s hand away. “Really Ana, I don’t see what’s so appealing about entertaining a bunch of guys with you.”
“Come on. That has to interest you. Unless…” Ana left the question in the air, and when Leah didn’t respond, Ana tried again. “Unless men don’t interest you.”
Leah raised her hands up and laughed. “Ana, you’re really cute and all, but I prefer men.”
“Well, that makes two of us.” She got up and helped herself to some more tea and returned to her stool. “You know…I have noticed how you check out Crowley.” She tried to sound teasing but failed.
Leah rescued Ana from the awkward conversation. “Girl, how can you not appreciate that vi
ew!” She was relieved to have broken the tension when she saw Ana nod and grin.
Crowley strolled through the door, as if on cue, causing the two women to laugh harder. “Why were my ears just burning?” He perched on the stool next to Ana and playfully elbowed her.
“Oh, Crowley. I do appreciate those sweet ears on that gorgeous head,” Ana said in full Scarlett O’Hara imitation. “Don’t you just appreciate those ears, Leah, darling?”
Leah, trying to mock Ana’s southern drawl, replied, “Honey, how can you not appreciate the view of those sweet ears.” Both women burst into a fit of giggles.
Crowley swiped two of the oatmeal bars that Leah was cutting into rectangles. “I missed the joke, didn’t I?” he asked before cramming half of one in his mouth.
“Yep.” Leah smiled and handed him an iced tea.
“I was just telling Leah here, that you are bringing in a whole panel of available bachelors for her and me to choose from.” Ana winked at him.
“I don’t know about all that. Some of them are married. Anyway, they’re my company, not a potential dating game for you girls.” He shot them with a pointed look.
“We’ll see about that, won’t we Leah?” Ana laughed as she tried to provoke her friend.
Leah ignored her. “What are you guys going to be up to?” Leah asked as she started brewing another pot of tea.
“We’re gonna hang out at the beach for a couple of days, surfing.”
“No epic skateboarding?” Leah caught his eye and grinned at him.
“Nope. The skateboard is still in temporary retirement.” Crowley laughed as he drained his glass.
“I bet they are going to be doing some of that nasty ole fishing.” Ana wrinkled her nose.