by Talbot Mundy
“You may have to sit in the place all day waiting for me; but wait until after midnight if you must. Sooner or later Noureddin Ali is bound to show up. I shall be hard after him. If they offer you food, take it. Eat with your fingers. Eat like a pig. Lick the plate, if you like. The nearer mad you seem to be, the safer you are. After I get there, hang around until I give you money. Then beat it.”
“Where to? I can’t go to my room at the hotel in this disguise.”
“I’ve thought of that. You know Cosmopolitan Oil Davey, of course? He lives at the hotel. I’ll get word to him that he may expect a messenger from me after dark tonight. He’ll leave word with the porter downstairs, who’ll take you to Davey’s room. You can tell Davey absolutely anything. He’s white.”
“Well, I think I can execute that maneuver. What’s task number two?”
“To sit on the TNT! But one thing at a time is enough. Let’s attend to this one first. Ah! Here comes Templeton!”
“Damn you, Grim!” said a calm voice in the doorway. A tall, lean man in major’s uniform with the blue tabs of the medical staff strode in. He had the dried-out look of the Sudan, added to the self-reliance that comes of deciding life and death issues at a moment’s notice.
“The hospital is crowded with patients, and here you immobilize me for half a morning. I can’t pretend to set a compound fracture in ten minutes, you know! Why couldn’t you break your neck and have me sign a death certificate?”
“Didn’t occur to me,” said Grim. “But never mind, doc. You need a rest. Here’s tobacco, lots to read, and an armchair. Lock yourself in and be happy.”
“Who’s this?” asked Templeton, looking down at me.
“Deaf and dumb poor devil, earning a few piastres by working for the Intelligence.”
“Spy, eh? He looks fit for honest work if he had all his faculties. Is he dumb as well as deaf, or because he’s deaf?”
“Dunno,” said Grim. “He never speaks.”
“Perhaps I can do something for him. Suppose you leave him here with me. I can give him a thorough examination instead of wasting my time here.”
“He’s got a job of work to do right now,” said Grim.
“Does he know the sign language? Have you any way of telling him to come and see me at the hospital?”
“I give him written instructions in Arabic.”
“That so? I’ll look at his ears — tell you in a minute whether it’s worth while to come to me.”
He took my head between strong, authoritative hands and tilted it sidewise.
“Hello! What’s this?”
The Arab head-dress I was wearing shifted and showed non-Arab symptoms.
“Open that bag of mine, will you, Grim, and pass me that big pair of forceps you’ll find wrapped in oiled paper on top of everything. There’s something I can attend to here at once.”
It was an uncomfortable moment. Grim never cracked a smile. He dug out the instrument of torture and gave it to Templeton. But there were two points that occurred to me, in addition to the knowledge that nothing whatever was the matter with my ear. Doctors in good standing, who are usually gentlemen, don’t operate without permission; and the forceps were much too big for any such purpose. So I sat still.
“Um-m-m! What he really needs is a red-hot needle run down close to the ear-drum. It wouldn’t take five minutes, or hurt him — much. After that I think he’d be able to hear perfectly. Suppose we try.”
“I can wait ten minutes yet,” Grim answered.
“Very well. I’ve a platinum needle in the bag. I’ll get out the spirit-lamp and we’ll soon see. To be candid with you, I don’t believe the man’s any more deaf than you or I.”
“If you run a hot needle through the lobe of his ear well find out whether he can really talk or not,” said Grim in his pleasantest voice. “If he’s shamming I don’t mind. What we need in this service is a man who can endure without betraying himself.”
“Well, we’ll soon see.”
I began to hate Grim pretty cordially. I hated him more when Suliman came in, dressed for the street in a rather dirty cotton smock, with a turban in place of his fez. He told the boy to hold the wooden handle of a paper-knife behind my ear to prevent the hot needle from going too far on its sizzling journey. It didn’t seem to me the way to reciprocate volunteer secret service. Suliman’s grin at the prospect of seeing a man tortured was enough to provoke murder. I brushed the boy aside, fly-fashion, got up, crossed the room, and sat down again in the corner.
“Good enough!” laughed Grim. “You’ll do.”
“Yes, I think he’ll do,” agreed Templeton.
But I took no notice. I had seen too many games lost and won with the last card. Templeton looked down at Suliman:
“Tell him the game’s over. He may talk now.”
“Mafish mukhkh!” [No brains!] the boy answered, grinning and tapping his own forehead. “Magnoon!” [Mad!]
“I think I can trust them both,” said Grim, smiling in my direction. “All right, old man; time out! If you’d spoken once there’d have been nothing more between you and a life of safety and respectability!”
“Whereas,” said Templeton, “you may now be unsafe and an outlaw and enjoy yourself! Are you sure they haven’t marked him?” he asked Grim.
“Sure! Why should they suspect a tourist? But I’ve taken precautions. Word is on the way to the hotel to forward all his mail to Jaffa until further notice.” He laughed at me again. “I hope you’re not expecting important letters!”
Suliman had evidently been well schooled in advance, for at a nod from Grim he came over and took my hand, as if I were blind in addition to the other supposed infirmities. He led me out by a back-door, across a yard into an alley, which we followed as far as a main road and then turned toward the Jaffa Gate. Looking back once I saw Grim in his Shereefian uniform striding along behind us; but where the road forked he took the other turning.
There is contentment in walking disguised through crowded streets, even when you are in tow of eight-year-old iniquity that regards you as a lump of baggage to be pushed this and that way. Suliman plainly considered me a rank outsider, only admitted into the game on sufferance. Having said I was “magnoon” he lived up to the assertion, and warned people to make way for me if they did not want to be bitten and go mad, too; so as a general rule I received a pretty wide berth. But it was fun, in spite of Suliman. It was like seeing the world through a peep-hole. Men and women you knew went by without suspecting they were recognized, and in a puzzling sort of way the world, that had been your world yesterday, seemed now to belong wholly to other people, while you lived in a new sphere of your own.
We had to go slowly as we approached the Jaffa Gate, for the crowd was dense there, and a line of Sikhs was drawn across the gap where the street passes through the city wall. It was the gap the Turks once made by tearing down the wall to let the Kaiser through, when he made that famous meek and humble pilgrimage of his. The Sikhs were searching all comers for weapons, and we had to wait our turn.
Outside the gate, on the left-hand as you faced it, was the usual line of boot-blacks — the only cheap thing left in Jerusalem — a motley two dozen of ex-Turkish soldiers, recently fighting the British gamely in the last ditch, and now blacking their boots with equal gusto, for rather higher pay. Some of them still wore Turkish uniforms. Two or three were redheaded and blue-eyed, and almost certainly descended from Scotch crusaders. (The whole wide world bears witness that when the Scots went soldiering they were efficient in more ways than one.)
The rest of the crowd were mainly peasantry with basket-loads of stuff for market; but there was a liberal sprinkling among them of all the odds and ends of the Levant, with a Jew here and there, the inevitable Russian priest, and a dozen odd lots, of as many nationalities, whom it would have been difficult to classify.
And there was Police Constable Bedreddin Shah. You could not have missed noticing him, although I did not learn his name until afterwards
. He came swaggering down the Jaffa Road with all the bullying arrogance of the newly enlisted Arab policeman. He shoved me aside, calling me a name that a drunken donkey-driver would hesitate to apply to a dog in the gutter. He was on his way to the lock-up that stands just inside the gate, and I wished him a year in it.
As he plunged into the crowd that checked and surged immediately in front of the line of Sikhs, a small man in Arab costume with the lower part of his face well covered by the kaffiyi,* rushed out from the corner behind the bootblacks and drove a long knife home to the hilt between the policeman’s shoulder-blades. I wasn’t shocked. I wasn’t even sorry. [*Head-dress that hangs down over the shoulders.]
Bedreddin Shah shrieked and fell forward. Blood gushed from the wound. The crowd surged in curiously, and then fell back before the advancing Sikhs. A British officer who had heard the victim’s cry came spurring his horse into the crowd from inside the gate. In his effort to get near the victim he only added to the confusion.
The murderer, who seemed in no particular hurry, dodged quietly in and out among the swarm of bewildered peasants, and in thirty seconds had utterly disappeared. A minute later I saw Grim offering his services as interpreter and stooping over the dying man to try to catch the one word he was struggling to repeat.
Chapter Fourteen
“Windy bellies without hearts in them.”
Djemal’s coffee shop is run by a Turkish gentleman whose real name is Yussuf. One name, and the shorter the better, had been plenty in the days when Djemal Pasha ran Jerusalem with iron ruthlessness, and consequent success of a certain sort. When Djemal was the Turkish Governor, every proprietor of every kind of shop had to stand in the doorway at attention whenever Djemal passed, and woe betide the laggard!
It would not have paid any one, in those days, to name any sort of shop after Djemal Pasha. Even the provider of the rope that throttled the offender would have made no profit, because the rope would simply have been looted from the nearest store. The hangman would have been the nearest soldier, whose pay was already two years in arrears. So Yussuf’s own name done in Turkish characters used to stand over the door before the British came.
It was Djemal Pasha’s considered judgment that Yussuf cooked the best coffee in Jerusalem. So whenever the despot was in the city he conferred on Yussuf the inestimable privilege of supplying him with coffee at odd moments, under threat of the bastinado if the stuff were not suitably sweet and hot. The only money that ever changed hands in that connection was when the tax-gatherer came down on Yussuf for an extra levy, because of the added trade that conceivably might be expected to accrue through the advertisement obtained by serving such an exalted customer. The tax-gatherer also threatened the bastinado; and as the man who likes that punishment, or who could soften the heart of a Turkish tax assessor, has yet to be discovered, Yussuf invariably paid.
But when Allenby conquered Palestine between bouts of trying to tame his Australians, and Djemal Pasha scooted hot-foot into exile with a two-hundred-woman harem packed in lorries at his rear, Yussuf remembered that old adage about better late than never. He put Djemal’s name on the stone arch of the narrow door near the foot of David Street. He did it partly out of the disrespect that a small dog feels for a big one that is now on chain; but he was not overlooking the business value of it.
The first result was that he did quite a lot of trade with British officers, who came primarily because they were sick of eating sand and bully-beef, and drinking sand and tepid water in the desert. Later they flocked there by way of paying indirect homage to a governor who, whatever his obvious demerits, had at any rate never been answered back or thwarted with impunity. (There was a time, after the capture of Jerusalem, when if the British army could have voted on it, Djemal Pasha would have been brought back and given a free hand.)
But the officers began to discover that Yussuf was charging them four or five times the proper price. The seniors objected promptly, and deserted, to the inexpressible delight of the subalterns; but even the under-paid extravagant youths grew tired of extortion after a month or two, and Yussuf had to look elsewhere for customers.
Yussuf did some thinking behind that genial Turkish mask of his. Competition was keen. There are more coffee shops in Jerusalem than hairs on a hog’s back, and the situation, down near the bottom of that narrow thoroughfare in the shadow of an ancient arch, did not lend itself to drawing crowds.
But there were others in Jerusalem besides the British officers who yearned for Djemal’s rule again; and, unlike the irreverent men in khaki, they did not dare to voice their feelings in public. All the old political grafters, and all the would-be new ones savagely resented a regime under which bribery was not permitted; and, as always happens sooner or later, they began to show a tendency to meet in certain places, where they might talk violence without risk of incurring it.
So Yussuf permitted a rumour to gain ground that he, too, was a malcontent and that the British had deserted his coffee shop for that reason. He gave out that Djemal Pasha’s name over the door stood for reaction and political intrigue. So his place began to be frequented by effendis in tarboosh and semi-European clothes, who could chew the cud of bitterness aloud between walls that the crusaders had built four feet thick. The only entrance was through the narrow front door, where Yussuf inspected every visitor before admitting him.
So Yussuf’s “Cafe Djemal Pasha” was the place to go to for politics, of the red-hot, death-and-dynamite order that would make Lenin and Trotsky sound like small-town sports. But first you had to get by Yussuf at the door.
Suliman led me by the hand down David Street, through the smelly- yelly moil of flies and barter, past the meat and vegetable stalls, beneath the crusader arches from which Jewish women peered through trellised windows, across three transversing lanes of the ancient suku,* and halted at Yussuf’s door. [*Bazaar]
He rapped on it three times. When Yussuf’s wrinkled face appeared at last Suliman demanded to see Staff-Captain Ali Mirza. Yussuf’s blood-shot eyes peered at me for a long time before he asked a question.
“Atrash! — akras! — majnoon!!” [Deaf! — Dumb! — Mad!!] said Suliman. Describing me as mad seemed to give him particular delight. He never overlooked a chance of doing it.
“Staff-Captain Ali Mirza is not here. What should a Madman want with him?”
“He is not very mad — only stupid. He carries a message for the captain.”
“But the captain is not here. He has not been here.”
“He will come.”
“How should a deaf-and-dumb man deliver a message?”
“It is in writing.”
“Very well. He may leave the writing with me. If the captain comes I will deliver it.”
“No. The message is from Esh-Sham (Damascus). He will give it only into the captain’s own hand.”
“What is your name?”
“Suliman.”
“What is his?”
“God knows! He came with another man by train; and the other man, who is much more mad than this one, gave me five piastres to bring this one to your kahwi!” [Coffe-pot]
Yussuf shut the door, and discussed the proposition with his customers. At the end of two or three minutes his head appeared again.
“You say Staff-Captain Ali Mirza is expected here?”
“So said the man at the station.”
“What do you know of Staff-Captain Ali Mirza?”
“Nothing.”
Once more the door closed and I could hear the murmur of voices inside — but only a confused murmur, for the door was thick. When it opened again two other heads were peering from behind Yussuf’s.
“Has he money?” he asked.
“Kif? Ma indi khabar!” [How should I know?]
Yussuf opened the door wide and made a sign for me to enter. He seemed in two minds whether to let Suliman come in with me or not, but finally admitted him with a gruff admonition to keep still in one place and not talk.
The place wa
s fairly full. It was a square room, with one window high in the wall on David Street. Around three sides, including that on which was the front door, ran a wooden seat furnished with thin cushions. Facing the front door was another one leading to a dark hole in the rear, where pots were washed and rice was boiled; beside that door, occupying most of the length of the fourth wall, was a thing like an altar of dressed stone, on which the coffee was prepared in dozens of little copper pots.
The benches being pretty well occupied, I was about to squat down on the floor, but they made room for me close to the front door, so I squatted on the corner of the bench and tucked my legs under me. Suliman dropped down on the floor in front of me with his head about level with my knees.
The other occupants of the room were all Syrian Arabs — not a Bedouin among them. All of them wore more or less European clothing, with the inevitable tarboosh, each set at a different angle. You can guess the mentality of the Syrian by the angle of that red Islamic symbol he wears on his head. The black tassel normally hangs behind, and the steady-going conservatives and all who take their religion seriously, wear the inverted flower-pot- shaped affair as nearly straight up as the cranium permits.
But once let a Syrian take up new politics, join the Young Turk Party, forswear religion, or grow cynical about accepted doctrine, and the angle of his tarboosh shows it, just as surely as the angle of the London Cockney’s “bowler” betrays irreverence and the New York gangster’s “lid” expresses self-contempt disguised as self-esteem.
The head-gears were set at every possible angle in that coffee- shop of Yussuf’s, from the backward tilt of the breezy optimist to the far-forward thrust down over the eye of malignant cynicism, which usually went with folded arms, legs thrust out straight, and heels together on the floor.