I turned the tie so the knotted end was at the back of her neck. When my lips brushed over hers, I couldn’t close my eyes to our kiss. This couldn’t be happening. It was a wish come true.
Lydia’s eyes stayed closed seconds after I pulled back. When her heavy lids did open, only then did I pull back and grab the end of the tie, tightening it even more.
“Stay still.”
Crack!
Crack!
Crack!
“Oh, fuck!” The sob tore free, but I knew it wasn’t because she wanted me to stop spanking her with the belt. The pain was essential to her just as much as it was to me. We couldn’t have been more perfect and she had to see that.
Crack!
Crack!
I leaned in, sliding my fingers back inside of her pussy. Three thrusts in and Lydia grew louder by the second. Her moans were throaty and deep with desperation. And so were mine as I pulled back on the tie. Feeling her wetness and need triggered my own. I dropped the belt, flipping her to her back with barely an ounce of patience. The fact she was on birth control was barely a thought in the back of my mind as I spread her legs wider and glided the head of my cock into her entrance. Hands grabbed at me greedily and I didn’t fight her need to have me close. I wanted to taste her mouth again. To be as intimate with her as possible. It was so out of character for who I was, but nothing about me had been the same since she’d come into my life.
“You’re not going to change tomorrow?” she rushed out. “You’re not going to pull away like you did last time?”
“No.”
“You promise? You’re not going to change your mind on helping me?”
The fear in her eyes had my arms wrapping around her tightly as I inched into her channel. I didn’t like to see her like this. Time. She’d see she could count on me. I wouldn’t let her slip into despair again. Not without being by her side to help her through it.
“Trust me. I’m not going anywhere.”
Nails pushed into my back, sending tiny stabs of pain at their force. Even with how wet Lydia was, she was still so tight around me. I withdrew some, taking my time as I continued to work into her.
“Master?”
“Uh-uh. No more thinking or worrying. You’re not allowed to do that anymore. You leave everything to me. Just feel, baby. Feel how much I want you.”
My lips brushed over hers, deepening the kiss as I slid inside of her even more. She gasped but went right into plunging her tongue into my mouth. At the caress against mine, I was lost. My cock buried inside of her and my mind left me. It became hers, just like every other part of me. Every move of my hips, every skill capable from my hands, my tongue, my heart, she was evoking the best of them all and they were slaves to her. They reacted to her moans of pleasure and I was powerless to stop them. In such a short time I went from cruel Master to Lydia’s lover.
I was surprised I lasted this long, but like the moon and tides, I had no control over the love she had created in me. The gravity of her admission lured me in with crashing force. I never stood a chance in denying her any part of me.
“Master, I can’t hold off. I—”
Tension tightened Lydia’s face while she turned her head back and forth. The fact that she was waiting for my permission only made it harder on me. It was a slice of my dream and I was devouring it like there was no tomorrow.
“You want to come? Ask me.”
“May I come, Master? M-may I?”
Her plea was barely audible as her nails clawed into my back. It nearly set off my own orgasm, but not from the pain. It was her pussy. I could feel her clenching around me, pulsing as her release began.
“Give me what’s mine. God, fuck.”
Like a vice, she gripped around my thickness. The pleasure spiked and I pounded into her as she screamed out to me. But it wasn’t Jaime she called to in the throes of her passion. No. Master. Just as it should be.
Time went by while she came down, only to be built back up again by my thrusts. And me, I soaked in everything as spasms shook her for the second time. “Damn you feel so good … and you’re so beautiful, undone. I imagined, but I couldn’t predict it would be like this.” My lips pressed into Lydia’s between pants and I couldn’t stop the awe I felt when I met her eyes. The dark blue was brighter than ever. They sucked me in and I knew nothing but our moment as I slowed my thrusts and pulled out, coming across her stomach. I had more than fallen for her. Even though I wanted to take comfort in that, I couldn’t. Not when I knew what I was doing was wrong.
Chapter 21
Lydia
For five days Jaime and I barely left his bedroom. We couldn’t get enough of each other, and I couldn’t remember being happier. It was like my old life had disappeared completely and I was given a new chance—a new start. The lessons were still there between our lovemaking, but I didn’t mind them so much. And they weren’t even graphic anymore. They were about focusing on myself and growing, all the while, building others up as well.
I was seeing everything in a new light. Life, love. The world was beautiful, or it could be if I gave it the chance. And I wanted to. With Jaime by my side, I could conquer the depression. He said it so many times that I believed him.
But in the back of my mind, I couldn’t shake the fear that the suicidal tendencies would return. The black spot on my brain had never left me so far. Why would finding Jaime make it any different? It was the ultimate question. One I tried not to think about as I adjusted to the anxiety of introducing medication into my daily routine to make this work. Jaime wanted me to, but could I do it? The immediate rejection at the thought told me no. But then what? Would he get aggravated and give up on me? Would he have me committed so he didn’t have to worry about me killing myself if we went our separate ways? I didn’t pretend to deny he had power. He did. From the stories he had told me in the last few days, his pull was vast, and for the sick me, that wasn’t good.
“So at two o’clock we’ll meet Dr. Webster. At three-thirty I have an appointment to go over a possible investment. It shouldn’t take long, maybe fifteen minutes. I would have postponed, but I don’t think you’re in any rush to come home. Slave?”
“Hmm?” I glanced up from my lunch, trying to process what he was talking about.
“You haven’t heard a word I’ve said. Talk to me. What’s on your mind?”
My mouth opened, only to shut. “Nothing. I’m just tired. You’re right, I don’t mind being out.”
There was a slight twitch in Jaime’s cheek as his eyes studied me. “Good, but you’re not getting off so easily. Tell me what you’re thinking.”
I don’t want to do this. The internal response was automatic. I was terrified at the thought of taking medication. The fear was so great it left me wanting to run, but I couldn’t tell that to my Master. Truth was, I didn’t want to leave Jaime. I wanted this to work. The confliction made me sick.
“Are you having second thoughts?” Jaime rose, walking around the table. My lip was trembling as he clasped my hand and pulled me to stand. The smell of his spicy aftershave was a strange comfort as I tried to hold in the tears. “Look at me.”
My eyes were burning as I lifted them to meet his.
“Something’s wrong. You have to talk if you want me to help. I can help. You just have to be open with me.”
Aching had me looking down at my hands. I was clutching to Jaime’s suit jacket so hard my fingers were white from the death grip. Fuck, I had to stop this. Medication wouldn’t kill me; not taking it would. Jaime had explained that a hundred times. So why was I so afraid? The addiction? I knew better than to take that path again. Plus, I had my Master. There was no way he’d overlook my dosage and let me slip.
“Lydia.”
Again, my eyes rose, but this time I had the swirl of calm settling through. Jaime, he was the key. As long as I had him, I stood a chance at beating this. And not just because of our relationship. Whether we worked or not, he’d keep me in line. He’d help me stay strai
ght, but it was all truly up to me. It was time to put pride in the back seat. I couldn’t do this on my own.
“It’s the pills. I’m …” My head shook in aggravation. “Thinking about taking them makes me want to run away. I don’t want to do that. I’m just scared.”
Jaime’s lips brushed over mine as he cupped my face. “I know, but I’m not going to let anything happen to you. I’ll be right here through it all. You can do this.”
I nodded, returning his kiss. The slide of his hands over my cheeks stopped when his fingers buried in my hair and tightened, tugging until my head was tilted back so I could once again meet his gaze.
“You want this. You want me. I believe you will do whatever it takes so we can be happy. Even if that means facing your fears.”
“I’ll take them,” I whispered. “I’ll give it a chance and see if it works.”
“That’s my girl.”
The grip to my hair loosened as one of his arms lowered to pull me in closer. My Master’s body was hard against mine, but only one thing became clear—his cock. He wanted me, again, and I couldn’t deny my need for him. I fumbled with his belt, tugging hard to get his buckle undone.
“We’re going to be late.”
“Not if we’re quick.” I bit my lip, sliding the clasp free on his slacks. Jaime spun me around so quickly, I nearly lost balance. My dress was pushed up over my hips and I moaned as he jerked my panties to the side and began rubbing my folds.
“Quick isn’t what I want, but dammit, you have no idea what you do to me.”
“Show me.”
A cry tore from my throat as two fingers buried themselves inside of me. I gripped to the back of the chair, holding tightly as the pace of the thrusts increased.
“I’m going to show you, alright. Every day. Every minute.”
My hair was pulled back and suction against my neck caused me to push my ass back. I wanted more. To feel Jaime’s cock in me once again.
Teeth grazed against my skin and his fingers disappeared for only a second before his thickness began to stretch me.
“Tonight I’m taking you back to the basement. I’m going to make you feel so good, baby. You need that, don’t you?”
“Yes, yes.”
Whack!
Heat burned into the side of my ass and I couldn’t stop the scream as Jaime plunged his cock the rest of the way. The depth took my breath away and I gasped, holding on even tighter.
Whack!
“How bad? Have you withheld anything from me? Any urges you may be having?”
My eyes closed from shame and instead of thinking of my cutting addiction, I focused on the slow thrusts of my Master’s cock.
“It’s there, but not unbearable.”
“That’s not the point. We take care of it before the need becomes too much. Tonight we try something new. I think it may help.”
Pressure from his fingers massaged over the top of my slit and I arched through the pleasure. With Jaime’s other hand was still woven in my hair, I felt safe … secure. His weight, his hold on me. I wasn’t going anywhere and I liked that feeling. It wasn’t just me battling my demons anymore. My Master was with me every step of the way. I took comfort in that. I felt his power. His darkness. It should have scared me, what Jaime was capable of, but with what I was fighting, he was exactly what I needed.
“Ass higher. Arch that fucking back and take my cock deeper.”
“I don’t know if I c-can.”
My voice broke off at the end. With how his fingers were torturing my clit, I knew I wouldn’t last much longer. My release was already building and there was no way I was going to prolong coming. Not at the speed he was teasing me.
“I don’t think I heard you right. Did you say you couldn’t?”
Whack!
The pressure from my hair disappeared and he lifted my hips, making me tiptoe with as high as he pulled me.
“That’s it. Stay.”
Both hands clasped to my waist and my mouth flew open to scream at the pounding, but nothing would come. Jaime was fucking me so hard and fast, I could barely hold on to the chair.
“Oh, God. God. Pl-ea-se!”
“No.”
One word. One order. And I was going to fail—I was going to come.
I jerked up in panic, feeling the air gush from my lungs as Jaime spun and flattened the top half of my body over the table. Desperately, I clawed into the wood, fighting the orgasm that was almost there. And he wasn’t making it any easier. His fingers were back over my slit, rubbing and slapping over the sensitive nerves. My life had been one struggle after the next. Out of them all, I loved this one the most.
“Almost, baby. Almost.”
“I can’t. I—”
“You do what I say. You’ll wait.”
Faster, he fucked me. Tears slipped down my cheeks and I couldn’t stop sobbing through my need. I was right there. So damn close that Jaime’s teeth sinking into my shoulder almost triggered the spasms that were desperate to be released. Light kisses followed around the strap of my sundress and I floated between wanting more and sensory overload. When his arm wrapped around my neck and fitted under my chin, my hands flew up to hold his forearm. A small laugh followed and I shivered at the breath tickling my ear.
“We’re going to have to work on that trust, slave. We have time.” He rubbed over my clit in slow circles, pushing his cock in deep as he slowed the rhythm. My body thrashed through the beckoning orgasm. “Tell me what I want to hear and I’ll give you what you want.”
“Master,” I rushed out. “Master!”
“That’s right. Come for me, baby.”
My orgasm left my legs jerking as my body responded to his permission. Each wave that crashed into me was stronger than the next and only increased when Jaime’s cum shot into me. The action registered through the ecstasy, pulling me from the pleasure. Since we’d become intimate, he had always pulled out. Not that I was worried about pregnancy. I was on the shot, but he didn’t know that. Did he?
“Too good,” he whispered against me. “This all …”
Weight lifted from my back and I blinked through the questions in my mind. Something felt off now. Different. Was he regretting what he’d done?
I was barely lifted all the way before Jaime swept me into his arms. He was heading back for the stairs. I kept quiet until we were walking into his bathroom.
“Clean up. I’ll get you some new clothes. Something …” his finger traced over where he’d bitten me. “A little more conservative.”
All I could do was nod to no one. He was already heading for the door, dismissing me in his impatience.
It’s not you, Lydia. You’re running late for your appointment, that’s all. He’s not the one acting weird. It’s you. You’re reading this wrong. You always do.
“It’s nothing,” I mumbled.
The dress and panties pooled at my feet and I reached in, turning on the warm water. I was just stepping in when Jaime returned. He didn’t say a word, where I had a million racing through my mind. We were going fast. Where I should have cared about that part, I didn’t. But he did.
Chapter 22
Jaime
This wasn’t wrong. I could take care of Lydia. What we shared wouldn’t affect that. I wouldn’t let it. She was safer with me than with anyone else. I knew her. The real her. If I kept up with the lessons and made sure she took the meds she was just prescribed, everything would be fine. She could beat this, and she’d choose more than to live. She’d chose me to be happy with.
So why was I having such a hard time accepting that?
I glanced over, taking in the solemn look on her face as I headed to my office building. Since we’d left the mansion, she had barely said more than two sentences to me. It wasn’t a good sign.
“Are you hungry?”
Her blue eyes took me in for only a moment before they returned to stare out of the window. “I ate before we left.”
“You didn’t eat much. Are you s
ure you’re okay? There’s a few restaurants not far from the office. We can take a walk through the park and grab a bite to eat if you’d like.”
“I’m really not hungry. Thanks, though.”
I clenched my teeth, focusing on the traffic as I pulled up to a red light. Movement drew me to glance down at her lap. She had her fingers interlaced, but her knuckles were white. There was something wrong and if she didn’t tell me, it was going to drive me crazy.
“Is it the medication that has you nervous or is it something else?”
“There’s a lot of things on my mind right now. Yes, the medication makes me nervous. I’m trying not to think of that right now.”
“Then what are you thinking about?”
Lydia hesitated, turning to me. “You want to know every little thing on my mind, but what about yours? How is that fair to me? You changed after … the table incident. Why? What happened?”
A frown came to my face and I eased along with the traffic as the light changed to green. “It’s complicated. What we’ve been doing is wrong. I’m breaking all kinds of rules here. I’m putting you at risk, or so my mind tells me. The other part of me says you’re safer with me. I’m conflicted.”
“You’re …” Panic was thick in her tone. “You’re not going to have me committed are you?”
“Of course not,” I snapped. “You’re not going anywhere. You’ll stay with me.”
“You promise? I mean, if you decide you don’t want to help me anymore, promise you won’t have me committed. You’ll let me leave, or at least—” Lydia’s head went down while she shook her head. “Anything but putting me in a nuthouse. I can’t take that.”
“I said you’re staying with me. Nothing is going to happen to change that.”
I reached over grabbing my slave’s hand and giving it a squeeze to emphasize my answer. When I brought it to my lips, her eyes welled with tears. The sight left my chest tight. There was so much emotion in her and I couldn’t wait to get it under control. How was it to feel so much? I wouldn’t know. Before her, it was hard for me to feel anything at all.
Insufferable: A Dark Erotic Romance Page 14